Are you a man if you cannot take care of your family?  Are you noble, if you do not have a job and let your wife slave away at the office, so you can latch onto her healthcare insurance, and eat the bacon she brings home?  Hell yeah brothers!  Stay at home men of the world, unite!

The beauty of equality is that we men don’t have to work the majority of our lives away anymore.  We can be the homemakers, and be proud of it too!  With our big muscles, we can re-arrange the living room furniture with ease.  Being relatively taller, we can change fire alarm batteries every year without fear of breaking our necks.

When the general contractor comes over to remodel the bathroom, ladies can rest assured we men are less likely to get scammed by superfluous charges, such as a $1,000 wonder wall replacement.  And when the cable guy comes, you can also breathe easy knowing that we aren’t going to have a romantic encounter either!  I mean, how many times have you ever had a cable gal come over?  Never!

IS EARLY RETIREMENT CHEATING IF YOU HAVE A WORKING SPOUSE?

I’ve noticed an extraordinary trend over the past couple of years.  The trend is that more and more men are desiring to retire early.  In some cases, as early as 25!  Let’s be honest, writing about retiring in your 20′s and 30′s is a gimmick.  These guys aren’t going to sit back on the beach and get rubbed all day.  Nope.  They are going to try and develop some side income and take care of the kids.  The kick in the shins is they think their wives will be happy with their plan!

Just like sleeping with the hostess at your favorite steak house is bad, so is telling everyone you are retired while your wife still works to support the family!

Why Wives Won’t Accept Working Forever If The Husband Doesn’t

* When you see someone relaxing, you too want to relax!  It’s human nature to want what other people have.  Do you really think your wife will be happy with working 40-50 hours a week while you lounge in your underwear all day at home?  Only if her job makes her 100% happy, which we know will never happen.  I would venture to guess the best jobs are liked by people 70%-80% of the time at most, which leaves 20-30% of dissatisfaction.

* Men will start to get lazy.  It’s not in our nature to cook, clean, wash the dishes, and change diapers.  We are hunters and love to play games!  Eventually, we’ll stop being as consistent with our cooking and cleaning, and our wives will notice!  We’ll get the wrong garnish at the grocery store, and our wives will blow their tops!  Men are doomed towards laziness and women will realize this sooner or later.

* Women get jealous.  You think men get jealous?  Oh my, women get crazy jealous!  There’s something about women where they must fend all other women away.  Every woman is looked at suspiciously, especially the attractive ones who enter their man’s lives.  Women probably get jealous because men make them jealous.  Men like to hunt remember!  And that includes other women.

* We must suffer together.  Again, it’s human nature that one can’t enjoy more than another.  Unless you are getting paid millions for getting a massage, there is suffering at work.  It can be the commute, the boss, the annoying colleague who eats boiled eggs for breakfast, whatever.  If your wife is suffering, she wants you to suffer too!

Once you combine laziness, relaxation, and jealousy, it’s GAME OVER!  Your woman will start to resent you, and at the very least desire to stay at home and experience what you have.  Don’t kid yourselves guys!  We must have a plan, and saying you are retiring early while you have a working spouse is not one!

How To Convince Your Woman Into Letting You Retire Early

* Talk about your dreams and ambitions.  Women love a man with ambition.  In fact, some say that men with ambition are sexier than red velvet cake!  Fill your woman’s ear with sweet plans of world domination.  You can talk about building your online empire or your desire to become a real estate magnate.  Whatever it is, your woman wants details, and wants to hear your enthusiasm.

* Always carry a smartphone.  Even if you’re sleeping in until 10am, make sure you have a smartphone to insta-respond to text messages when she checks in on you during her work breaks.  If you don’t respond within 15 minutes max, she’s going to start wondering whether you’re smoking her cigarettes, playing Xbox with 15 year olds, cavorting with other women, and get pissed!  She might also figure out that you’re sleeping in, like the lazy man that you are!

* Show encouragement.  Tell her you are proud of her accomplishments at work at least once a week.  Most people don’t really care as much about the money as they do about recognition for good work done.  Just tell her once a week how proud you are for her doing so well at the company.  Tell her you admire her work ethic.  Tell her you believe she will go places, and really mean it.

* Promise foot massages and gorilla loving.  What does every tired, working woman want after she comes home?  Not you!  And that’s because you don’t promise her foot massages and gorilla loving!  I don’t know how women can stand walking in even 1 inch heels, let alone 2 or 3 inches heels all day.  If you promise a foot massage and 3 minutes of McLovin afterwards, I’m sure she’ll let you play War Craft all night long!

* Tell her you’re doing it for us.  “Us” is the key word here.  You might be someone who is lazy without any backbone to stick it out in the corporate world and make friends.  And you know what? That’s OK, because work sucks a lot of the time!  You’re disrespected, underpaid, and unrecognized.  Nobody wants that.  It’s important to reassure your woman that you’re working on your dreams to create a better lifestyle for both of you.  Re-emphasize not only the potential of your business, but your ability to handle all the house work.

EQUALITY FOR MEN AND MONKEYS

I love our society’s push for equality.  Even though we are heading in the right direction, we aren’t there yet!  Women still get paid less then men on average, and you don’t see much diversity in senior management positions.  If we men want to retire early and have our lovely wives do all the work for us while we eat pizza and watch football, we must support our women 1000%!

Readers, is it cheating if you declare retirement and have a spouse working full-time supporting you?  Women, are you down with your man being a SAHD?  Have we reached a point of equality for men and monkeys?

Photo: Breakfast in bed my lady?  SD.

A new post is up on Yakezie.com entitled, “How To Profit From Facebook And Live Happily Ever After” just in case this stay at home man gig doesn’t work out for you.  I offer derivative careers, and ways to snag a Facebook man/woman of your own!

Regards,

Sam, Man Club For Men

If you enjoyed this article, please sign up for my RSS Feed or E-mail Feed to keep in touch.

My tennis buddies and I decided to arrange a late-night tennis match from 8pm-10pm and go out drinking afterwards.  Whichever doubles team loses pays for beers all night long.  It’s a good system that brings out the competitiveness and trash-talking in us.  Besides, we feel less guilty drinking heavily if we exercise first!

My partner and I lost this time around and started buying a round of drinks when an attractive girl came up to me at the bar and said, “You have very nice, large incisors!”  She beamed me a smile.

“Why thank you very much,” I responded.  ”But what’s that?” I glanced at my pecs, guns, and tummy.

“Your incisors are your upper four front teeth.  Hi, my name is Cynthia and I’m a 4th year dental student at UC San Francisco.”

“Well hello Cynthia, and thanks!  I try to floss twice a day and keep em sharp.  What would you like to drink?”

As far as pick-up lines are concerned, this one’s pretty good, especially for a female.  She brings up something completely random, and explains in a way that shows her intelligence and occupation!  Women generally just smile or send winks if they’re interested, at least that’s from my experience.

Cynthia was aggressive and showed a lot of personality.  She had wavy black hair, size 0 skin-tight black pants, and a matching soft leather jacket.  Around her shoulder hung a Chanel bag with an interlinking gold chain strap.  Of course, no outfit would be complete without Manolo 3-inch heels.  Her skin was smooth and unadulterated with marks.  I venture to guess she’s the type of woman plenty of women hate.

At 27, she’s clearly intelligent and isn’t afraid to ask what she wants!

SO WHY IS SHE STILL SINGLE?

After downing her Moscow Mule, Cynthia told me that she hasn’t been with a guy in four years. This was a surprise since she is an attractive woman with a friendly, albeit aggressive personality. When I asked her why, her response shocked me.

She said, “Well in high school and college, I didn’t date anyone because I was too beautiful and good for them.”

What the….?  She didn’t even say “just joking” to damper her line.  She was serious and she still thinks she’s too beautiful and good for most men.  At this point in time I’m thinking to myself, “Is she one of those crazy ones?  Get me outta here!”

Cynthia then rambled on about how she was really focused on dentistry school and trying to get into a post grad program at Johns Hopkins or Harvard.  ”No time for boys, but I’m making an effort now!”  Fine, I can admire that type of focus and dedication to one’s career.  It takes guts to be so blunt.

I talked to her for 15 more minutes, gave her a hug, and told her I had to catch up with my buddies.  She slipped me her number before I left and walked out to her new $48,000 pink Mini Cooper and drove away.  Wait a minute….. I thought she was still a dental student?

TICK TICK TICK

Cynthia is a Princess now because she does look good and gets a lot of attention.  But, guess what happens over time?  If she keeps up her attitude and incredible sense of self-worth, no guy will ever want to be with her for the long term.  She’ll be 35 years old, and still single because guys will no longer put up with her and date someone younger.  Sure, Cynthia might be fun for a one month fling, but after that, forget about it!

It’s funny how women are predisposed to going out with guys older than them.  Yet, if a woman keeps this mentality, she has less men to choose from as she grows older.  Meanwhile, the younger man who was brushed aside for his immaturity gets a larger and larger pool to choose from.  Don’t hate men because we go after younger women.  We were trained by women through rejection!

During our conversation, Cynthia actually had the gumption to wonder why she was still single.  I almost shit an internal brick, but smiled and shrugged like a sedated patient .  In 5 years, there’s a good chance Cynthia is going to be still single with at least a  great career in dentistry and a lot of money.  Will she have a man wealthy enough to keep up with her $3,000 dollar purses and $800 dollar shoes?  She better, or else he won’t be good enough!

The lesson of this story is to utilize your assets to advance your life, but also downplay them in a humble way.  Nobody is going to want an arrogant person for long, even if she’s the hottest thing on Earth.  Looks get stale and desires fade.  Guys want women who are attractive, but more importantly, who have the biggest hearts for the long run.

Guys, have you ever come across a woman such as Cynthia?  Gals, perhaps you can provide more insight into the way Cynthia is?

Photo: The Manly Streets Of San Francisco by Sam. 2011.

Regards,

Dr. Sam Love

If you enjoyed this article, please sign up for my RSS Feed or E-mail Feed to keep in touch.  

Despite the government saying the economy is better and jobs are plentiful, you know they are lying.  How?  Because there are still grown adults living at home with mom and dad!  Furthermore, if you aren’t living at home with the ‘rents, then you certainly know people who do.  As an equal opportunity blogger, I thought it appropriate after writing, “How To Get Girls If You Live At Home With Mom And Dad“, to also write the other version.

There are several assumptions in this post.  First, you are likely under 35 years old, since there’s no such thing as a 35+ year old still living at home with their parents.  Second, you don’t look like Jessica Alba or a sexy version of Hilary Clinton or Janet Reno.  Third, you aren’t a princess with boku bucks to spend.  Finally, you are likely female who likes boys and your name is not Jerry Sandusky!

STRATEGIES FOR GETTING BOYS WHEN LIVING AT HOME WITH MOM AND DAD

1) Post on your Facebook or Twitter page you are available and looking for love.  You will immediately have all your stalker friends send you private messages declaring their love for you!  At least 50% of your male friends will have secret crushes on you.  They look at every picture album you post and every word you write on your wall.  They are waiting, like a chipmunk in heat to pounce on the big bag of potato chips!

2) Before he comes over, tell him that your father is away on business.  A boy’s worst nightmare is facing the father of the girl he’s trying to get with.  If you’re trying to seal the deal, you’ve got to seriously put the boy’s mind at ease that he will not run into your father!  Boys imagine fathers with shotguns, baseball bats, and machete knives waiting for them when they walk out of your bedroom.  Assure the boy, and you will get him to come over.

3) Tell him what your mom likes.  Boys think about wooing not only you, but your mom, but not doing your mom, let me be clear.   So, if he knows your mom likes chocolate biscuits, he will get her some.  The boy knows that if he can win over the mom, his life will be multiple times easier and can probably come over to the house without having to sneak in.  The boy also knows that it’s practically impossible to win over the father, so he’s not going to pretend to try.

4) Talk about your dreams and ambitions.  Boys really don’t care if you live at home with your parents.  We really don’t care, honest!  Boys just want to spend time with you, preferably alone to launch the love session.  You don’t have to feel embarrassed at all being a 27 year-old stay at home daughter.  Instead, the more honest and open you are, the more the boy will want to rescue you from the palace.  Boys have the damsel in distress thing wired in their brain as much as girls have the “I wanna be a princess” fantasy wired in theirs.  The more distressed you are, the more he will want to save you!

5) Be willing to go on sleepovers.  Boys love it when girls are willing to bring a backpack and sleep over at their place.  It makes a boy feel like a man, even if he does have two roomies and only one bathroom between the three.   By showing you are wiling to sleep over, you are demonstrating your trust in him.  He will respect you deeply and tread lightly before pouncing like that chipmunk in heat.  Just bring a tooth brush, facial wash, and your skimpy pajamas.

HOT OR NOT, IT DOESN’T MATTER

If you are really hot, the fact of the matter is, boys don’t really care if you live under a crickety old bridge next to the train tracks in a cardboard box.  You’ve got it made since boys don’t think about how much money you make, what you do for a living, whether you own your own place, drive a nice car and other shallow things like that.  Only girl think about that when dating a guy!  All boys care about is whether you are attractive, nice, and won’t introduce them to your father.  Beaware of the father, please!

If you aren’t really hot, there’s no problem getting boys either.  All you’ve got to do is identify those boys who still live at home with mom and dad!  You see, boys who live at home with mom and dad are pretty insecure because society has put great pressure on them to succeed instantaneously.  The pressure isn’t on getting married, it’s on getting a great job and doing something grand with their life so that one day, they will be able to get married and take care of a family.

If you just open up and say, “Hi, I find boys who live at home with their parents really attractive!” you will have a tremendous amount of pickings!  Of course, you aren’t shallow and require boys to get jobs and become men by going out on their own.  All you want is for a boy to love you back and accept you for who you are.

Readers, any other tips for how you can get boys if you live at home with mom and dad?

Photo: Janet Reno Baby!

Regards,

Dr. Sam Love

If you enjoyed this article, please sign up for my RSS Feed or E-mail Feed to keep in touch.

The next closest thing to any warm-blooded, heterosexual guy’s heart besides making money is meeting women.  Perhaps it’s the same for lesbians too, but I can’t be sure since I’m not one.  Some guys are willing to give up all the money in the world to meet women.  I think they’re crazy because half the population are women, so you can meet them once you walk right out the door!

Given readers here are a sophisticated bunch, let’s keep things professional.  I’d like to focus on meeting the right women, not any woman to go hook up with and never talk to again.  The best places to go are those that play to a woman’s sensibility and her desires.

If an old buffoon with a nice spare tire like me can still meet quality women, anybody can.

THE BEST PLACES TO MEET THE RIGHT WOMEN

1) Chocolate festivals.  I love chocolate, but more importantly, women love chocolate even more!  Every year, I go to two huge chocolate festivals, the Ghirardelli Chocolate Festival and the Fort Mason Chocolate Salon.  Each festival, the ratio of women to men is around 80/20.Women are in ecstasy as they stuff their faces, drink wine, and be merry.  It is so easy to meet women and strike up a conversation.  “Did you try the chocolate fudge brownies and hot coco?”  Women are so welcoming when they are happy.

2) Food festivals.  We have a bagillion food festivals here in San Francisco given the city’s incredible diversity.  Some of my favorites are the South American food festivals.  Latinas love to party and socialize.  It was evident when I visited Peru, Mexico, and Brazil, and it is still evident at these festivals.  Add some carafes of sangria along with some poblanos and hello good times!  Good food, like chocolate make women happy and you always have a better chance meeting women when they aren’t rabid.

3) Spas.  I try and get a massage once a month.  They are therapeutic, especially when I play a lot of tennis, go mountain biking, or hike.  Every time I go to a spa, it’s usually 90-100% women.  When you’re waiting in the lobby, it’s very easy to strike up a conversation and ask about various massage techniques.  You can also ask women whether they recommend any particular maseuses or treatments.  Insecure guys will think going to a spa is weird, therefore they don’t go.   Women who meet guys at spas tend to meet much more self-confident men who don’t care what other people think.  The guy just wants to relax and enjoy himself, especially with a hot masseuse.

4) Conferences.  Going to a conference is a big commitment.  You’ve got to register, buy a ticket, travel, and sometimes find lodging.  All this adds up to a decent chunk of change, and by golly, you want to get something out of it!  The people you meet at conferences are those who share your same interests.  As a result, it’s exceptionally easy to get to know single women there because you already have something instant to talk about.  It could be a recent or upcoming presentation, or an inquiry of what they are doing afterward.  I go to two conferences on average every year, and this is one of the easiest mediums to meet women.  We’re all captured, and might as well mingle with each other!

5) Charity fund raisers.  There are charity fund raisers of all types.  A couple months ago, I went on a 7 mile hike in the Sierra Nevada to raise money for autism.  There I met two women who wanted to go out that evening.  In August, I volunteer at a tennis event at the Bank of The West Classic to teach kids about the importance of effort, discipline, and fair play.  70% of the volunteers were female tennis players, and we all got to mingle and get to know each other for drinks afterwards.  Finally, I went to a formal mayoral fund-raiser last month and met some of the most talented, high-powered women in recent memory.  Women absolutely love getting dressed up and going to formal dress fundraisers with their girlfriends.

Bonus) The Gap.  You know, the clothing company.  The most coveted membership is not access to a fancy club.  It’s to the Gap cafeteria!  The ratio of women to men is around 75%/25%, and a god portion of the 25% men aren’t your competition.  Dating is a numbers game.  If you are in a room with 99 dudes and 1 woman, you can basically kiss your chances good-bye of ever finding someone.  However, if you are in a room with 99 women and only you, well I guarantee you someone will want to be with you!  Look for friends who work in retail and ask them to take you to their company’s cafeteria.  You’ll be a kid in a candy store.

WOMEN ARE EVERYWHERE

You never know when you’ll meet that woman who ignites your fire.  Those who go out more will naturally have a better chance of meeting women.  It’s simply a numbers game really.  However, the above five venues are guaranteed to increase your chances of meeting someone by at least two fold.  The combination of being physically attracted to someone while sharing the same interests creates some combustible passion!

The hard part is making your relationship last.  Now that’s a topic for a different post!

Readers, where are the best places to meet women?  Do you think it’s easy or hard to find the right woman in today’s digitally wired society?

Regards,

Dr. Sam Love

If you enjoyed this article, please sign up for my RSS Feed or E-mail Feed to keep in touch.

Peter and I were golfing buddies for years until one day he started asking me about my compensation.  I refused to tell him for weeks until he mentioned he was in a tough situation, negotiating a package with a potential new employer and sought my advice as someone several years his senior.

As I stood over my ball, ready to attempt a 30 foot birdie putt, Peter chimes up, “Sam, you’d really be doing me a favor by letting me know, so I can go back and counter them in case they are low balling me.“  Peter then proceeded to tell me what he was making at which point I felt forced to reveal my income because he was so upfront.  When I did, he quieted down, walked to the next hole and smacked his driver down the pipe.

“280 yards with only a sand wedge in!” I applauded after I missed my putt.  “Hmprh“, was the only sound that came out of his mouth as walked further and further away.

As weeks turned into months, I realized he no longer pinged me to play golf.  It also turns out that he never took the new job offer and remains at his company ’til this day.  Peter turned cold and I later found out that the reason why he never took the new job was because he countered them so high based on what he heard from me that they pulled the offer.  Peter blames me for not getting the job and not making the money he feels he deserves to make.  I have no control over what the potential suitor was willing to pay so why is it my fault?

NEVER REVEAL YOUR INCOME

I’ve known Peter for years, and it saddens me that we no longer hang out.  He asked me to be his mentor when he first graduated from college, and his competitive drive drove him overboard.  He compares everything from cars to property with everybody.  As an example, he purchased a two year old Maserati Vanquish around his 30th birthday.  All he had to do was buy a two year old Honda Civic and it would blow away what I was driving and most of our circle since we take the bus!

It was an absolute mistake revealing my income to him.  I like to wear worn t-shirts and jeans, because I don’t like to draw attention.  In fact, perhaps this is why I so often wear baseball caps, so I can be left alone to do my own thing.  Blending in is why I drive Moose, my 11 year old SUV that’s worth $4,000.  He’s handsome and clean, but will never turn heads.  It’s the best feeling when people look at me and think I’m just a kid with very little.

I’m not going to apologize for making more than Peter when I was his age.  I was just trying to help him out in his negotiation process as he wouldn’t relent on asking.  We could have come up with a strategy for negotiation, and use my figure as a realistic anchoring point for further talks with his potential new employer.  Instead, he decided to huff and puff and curse the world for life’s inequities.

THE UPSIDE OF KEEPING YOUR INCOME HIDDEN

* You can always play down your wealth.

* You can play up your wealth if circumstances dictate.

* You don’t have to feel like you always have to pay because you make more.

* You can buy things and go on vacations in peace.

* You blend in with everybody else.

* If you make more than the average, nobody will envy you or try and take you down.

THE DOWNSIDE OF REVEALING YOUR INCOME

* You start associating your identity with your income.

* You might come across as arrogant and boastful.

* You lose ground in salary negotiations if you ever change jobs.

* People will start expecting things from you i.e. “Larry makes $10,000 a month, let him get the dinner tab!”

* You might get reported to the IRS agent who might think, “Oh really now?”

* You will be judged by everything you spend and don’t spend your money on i.e. “You only donate that little to charity?”  ”How can you afford a $25,000 car when you only make $60,000 a year?”  ”You’re 45 years old and still only make that little?” “You make that much and still drive a beater?” “You’re selling the dream, and your client’s dreams are failing.” etc.

IF YOU MUST REVEAL YOUR INCOME

If for whatever reason, you just have to reveal your income to others, use this guideline to decide whether you should or not:

Reveal income if your income is equal to the median income of your peer group (industry, level, experience) up to +15% over.  If you are making any more, then it’s probably best not to reveal and speak in generality.  Any income below 115% of the median income of your peer group is fine.

If your business model is making money by showing others how much money you can make by making money off others, really try and reach out to those who’ve bought your products and failed.  Reimburse the occasional failure and set up some type of safety net fund or charity fund to help.

CONCLUSION

The next time someone tries to dig compensation information out of you, stand strong and don’t reveal any details!  If you must share info given the other party has bared their soul, talk in percentages and temper them while you are at it.  The other strategy is to provide a wide range below and above his or her salary so as to appease some of his/her desire to know, without making them feel unsatisfactory.

Look around at the most financially successful people out there.  You’ll never see or read about them disclosing how much money they are pulling in.  They are secure with themselves and understand the upsides of keeping their finances private.

Readers, what are your thoughts about revealing your compensation info to people, even your closest friends and family?

Why do you feel people like to reveal their income?  Is it true that those who reveal their income are either insecure or have suddenly found wealth and like to get their egos stroked?  Do you believe in the common response of “trying to inspire others”?

Is there a difference in revealing income off-line and on-line?

Is there a certain level of income one makes, which is the cutoff point where it starts becoming poor taste?

Regards,

Sam

Photo: Mediterranean Stash 1-2/NL, 2011. Sam.

Follow on Twitter @FinancialSamura and subscribe to our RSS or E-mail feed.

At first, I was pissed at the Berkeley College Republicans when the SF Chronicle highlighted a story about the BCR hosting a pastry sale to promote racial awareness. The University of California is considering implementing “SB185″, a law that would allow the school to use race and gender in the admissions process.

The article was poorly written, making it at first sound like the “White Pastries” for $2 and the “Black Pastries” for 75 cents are indeed white colored pastries and black colored pastries that reflect the respective races.  The author made it seem like White people are superior over Black people, therefore, White colored pastries should sell for a 130% premium.

What the author N. Asimov should have made clear is that all pastries are the same, and that if you are White, you have to pay $2, but if you are Black, you only have to pay 75 cents for the same pastry.  The pastry sale is trying to demonstrate that Caucasians and Asians need to score much better on your SAT’s and get higher GPA’s than other races (ie pay more) in order to get into UC Berkeley.  With this realization, my anger subsided to heavy disappointment.

Yet, I wonder.  If Asians make up 46% of UC Berkeley’s student population, yet only represent 14% of the California population, shouldn’t the price of pastries for Asians cost $5, since it’s that much tougher to get into given the 3.5X over-representation?  You have to wonder what the group of students were thinking.  You might already know.

If the UC school system did discriminate based on race, the racial make-up of UC Berkeley’s student body would limit the percentage of Asians to 14% instead of currently 46%, and increase the percentage of Caucasians to 40% from 30% to mirror California’s overall racial distribution.

The whole problem with this entire pastry sale is that offends, discredits, and hurts minorities because it makes fun of their achievements.  That’s not right.

WE LIVE IN A FREE WORLD WITH UNEQUAL OPPORTUNITIES

I’m assuming most would agree that having different admission standards for students based on race or gender is wrong and discriminatory.  You guys know that I believe in equality so much so that a flat tax above a certain income level is the most equitable way to go.  Regressive and progressive taxes are plain wrong.

None of my Black and Latino friends feel that race should have any part in the college admissions process.  They resent the fact that some people assume the only reason why they got into their colleges is due to their race.  Instead of race as a determining factor for admissions, why don’t we simply implement a socioeconomic affirmative action policy to help people improve their standard of living?  There are poor Caucasians and rich African-Americans after all.

A kid who grows up in a household that makes $300,000 a year is going to have massive advantages over a kid who grows up with a single mother who makes just $28,000 a year.  The $300,000 a year parents can afford SAT tutoring, math lessons, violin lessons, horse-back riding lessons, summer education trips abroad, and so forth.  How the hell does a single mother making $28,000 afford any of these things for a sustainable period of time?  She can’t.

I am absolutely perplexed why any public or private school administrator would not want to use socioeconomic criteria over racial criteria in 2011.  Yes, it made more sense one or two generations ago, but much less so now.  I’ve heard excuses such as, “It’s much easier to generalize among race than by income.“  Well that’s just lazy and stupid because 1) you shouldn’t have a carte blanche generalization first of all, and 2) it’s easy to do an income and asset check.  Banks and landlords ascertain such information all the time.

CONCLUSION

The Berkeley College Republicans have raised awareness that racial discrimination is wrong, but are doing a disservice to their school, the community, political party and to themselves.  Their satire will get completely lost to the minorities they are digging.  I understand what they are saying, and they have successfully made their point.  I get it, trust me I get it.  They are going about it in a tasteless way that is hurtful.

Unfortunately, the BCR students will probably be targets on campus, just like Alexandra Wallace quit UCLA after making a video rant against Asian people.  There is little place for politics in the workplace or when you are looking for a job.  Most companies must come to a consensus when hiring candidates.  Given the nation is split down the middle between Republican and Democrats, no consensus will ever be made by the interviewers, therefore the chances of these kids getting jobs other than running for political office is slim-to-none.  Finally, the group just provides more stereotype fodder that Republicans are insensitive tools who aren’t inclusive of of all races.

Readers, what are your thoughts about allowing universities to use race and gender as part of the admission criteria?  Do you think the Berkeley College Republicans helps or hurts the Republican image?

Do you think the College Republican kids are set for life and don’t need jobs and money, since if they did, why would they want to piss half the population off?

You guys are free to let it rip if you want.  Just be aware that if you rip me, I will rip you back. 

Regards,

Sam

We have a culture of blaming others for our problems and Main Street is now on a tear with this “Occupy Wall Street” movement that’s gathering steam.  The thesis is that financial institutions and anybody who has anything to deal with financial institutions are bad.  The government and the media help fuel the fire against Wall Street and make them scapegoats for the economic decline.  That way, they’ll hopefully deflect the blame away from themselves.

One man from one Wall Street firm stood up and had enough.  In 2010, he penned this letter below which started slowly circulating the web until it finally caught my eye.  The letter is just as appropriate today as it was last year.  He probably had nothing specifically to do with credit default swaps and other exotic instruments that helped cause our decline.  “Wall Street” is a catch-all phrase that leads to a lot of unwarranted stereotypes.

Just because you work at Bank of America as a teller doesn’t mean that you are to blame for Ken Lewis’ empire building when he bought Countrywide Financial and Merrill Lynch for prices nobody in their right mind would pay, which is now leading to massive layoffs.  Just because someone is a Latin America investment banker at Goldman Sachs doesn’t mean they are responsible for you buying 3 condos with minimal money down in Florida to try and get rich.  No, the guy buying the 3 condos is responsible………… or is he?

Just because you have massive student loans and can’t find a job, that doesn’t mean the US economist working at JP Morgan had anything to do with your situation.  Maybe it’s because you borrowed more than you could afford?  Or maybe it’s because you didn’t do well enough in school or go to a better school for that matter.  Why protest an irrelevant economist when you could protest right at your very own school!

If you are a raging populist, who is easily offended, and complains a lot, perhaps you shouldn’t have a read.  But, if you’re a normal rational person who likes to see both viewpoints, take a look and let’s discuss!  Remember, this letter is a retort against the media and the protesters who’ve attacked him, his family and his industry for months.

“WE ARE WALL STREET” EMAIL

“We are Wall Street. It’s our job to make money. Whether it’s a commodity, stock, bond, or some hypothetical piece of fake paper, it doesn’t matter. We would trade baseball cards if it were profitable. I didn’t hear America complaining when the market was roaring to 14,000 and everyone’s 401k doubled every 3 years. Just like gambling, its not a problem until you lose. I’ve never heard of anyone going to “Gamblers Anonymous” because they won too much in Vegas.

Well now the market crapped out, & even though it has come back somewhat, the government and the average Joe’s are still looking for a scapegoat. God knows there has to be one for everything. Well, here we are.

Go ahead and continue to take us down, but you’re only going to hurt yourselves. What’s going to happen when we can’t find jobs on the Street anymore? Guess what: We’re going to take yours. We get up at 5am & work till 10pm or later. We’re used to not getting up to pee when we have a position. We don’t take an hour or more for a lunch break. We don’t demand a union. We don’t retire at 50 with a pension. We eat what we kill, and when the only thing left to eat is on your dinner plates, we’ll eat that.

For years teachers and other unionized labor have had us fooled. We were too busy working to notice. Do you really think that we are incapable of teaching 3rd graders and doing landscaping? We’re going to take your cushy jobs with tenure and 4 months off a year and whine just like you that we are so-o-o-o underpaid for building the youth of America. Say goodbye to your overtime and double time and a half. I’ll be hitting grounders to the high school baseball team for $5k extra a summer, thank you very much.

So now that we’re going to be making $85k a year without upside, Joe Main Street is going to have his revenge, right? Wrong! Guess what: we’re going to stop buying the new 80k car, we aren’t going to leave the 35 percent tip at our business dinners anymore. No more free rides on our backs. We’re going to landscape our own back yards, wash our cars with a garden hose in our driveways. Our money was your money. You spent it. When our money dries up, so does yours.

The difference is, you lived off of it, we rejoiced in it. The Obama administration and the Democratic National Committee might get their way and knock us off the top of the pyramid, but it’s really going to hurt like hell for them when our fat a**es land directly on the middle class of America and knock them to the bottom.

We aren’t dinosaurs. We are smarter and more vicious than that, and we are going to survive. The question is, now that Obama & his administration are making Joe Main Street our food supply…will he live and will Joe Main Street survive?”

Is there any truth to this letter?  Should we blame financial institutions and people who work in financial institutions for our nation’s economic woes?  Or, should we blame people who borrowed more than they could afford and didn’t uphold their promises to pay off their debts?

If we bring down Wall St., will the rest of society get better or worse?  The one key point I disagree with in the letter is the author’s jab against teachers.  Teachers are woefully underpaid in my opinion, and have taken plenty of hits during this downturn as the government cuts back on educational funding.

Sometimes we just have to take a look in the mirror and accept responsibility for our own decisions.  But sometimes, it’s so fun to list out a bunch of random people and organizations to lay blame on!

“I blame you Mr. Barber for losing me money in the stock market!”

“I blame you Dr. Phil for me still being out of shape!” 

“I blame you Lindsay Lohan for why I can’t stop smoking these joints!

“I blame you Albert Einstein for not allowing me to get straight A’s in school!”

“I blame you Market Zuckerberg for not being rich by age 25!”

“I blame you Tiger Woods for cheating on my wife 30 times and getting a divorce!”

“I blame you Pace University for forcing me to go into so much student debt!”

“I blame you President Obama for why I can’t get a job!”

“I blame you Wall Street for everything that is wrong in my life!”

“I blame you readers for not making me a rich and famous personal finance blogger!”

Share your thoughts and more examples of blame, baby!

Kevin from Thousandaire has an entertaining write-up called “If You’re Going Occupy Something, At Least Pick The Right Place.“  Have a read!

Regards,

Sam

Tracy was 27 when I first met her playing co-ed softball in 2003.  She always wore her skin-tight Lululemon shorts and all the guys would stare as she jutted her butt out in a proper stance every time she was at bat.  One game, she managed to get on base four times in a row.  She was good!  Tracy was a blend of German Puerto Rican ancestry and the guys just loved her, just like how every guy loves Jessica Alba.

After every game, the guys would swarm Tracy to try and get her attention.  We’d always go to some bar afterward, and Tracy got all the free drinks and appetizers she wanted.  It was evident that the rest of the girls were annoyed with all the attention Tracy was getting.  Unfortunately, for them, they weren’t as attractive, so the guys really didn’t care. Shallow right?

Despite all her good looks, Tracy had one big problem.  She lacked self-esteem.  Whenever someone would complement her, instead of simply saying “thank you” and complement the person back, Tracy would look down to the ground and shy away.  Sometimes, she’d simply ignore him.  Her silence often was construed as being bitchy unfortunately.  It takes forever for her to open up, but when you finally get to know her more, you realize she’s a nice but incredibly dull person.

A LITTLE BIT OF BACKGROUND

Tracy was a system administrator at a large insurance company where she made a respectable $85,000 a year.  She’s been living with her same roommate from college since 2000 in a cozy two bedroom, one bathroom apartment for $1,800 a month – an absolute bargain in San Francisco.

Tracy and I kept in touch for several years until we just stopped communicating at one point in early 2008.  I moved on with my life, and I assumed she did as well.  It’s sad how we lose touch with acquaintances over time.  But, that’s what happens when life gets in the way.  Maintaining relationships takes effort!

One afternoon, I ran into Tracy on my bus ride back from work.  I was surprised because almost 4 years had passed since we last spoke.  We started living up old times and I asked her what she was up to.  Surely, at 35 years old, she was seeing someone or was married by now I presumptuously thought to myself.  Instead, she was still single and living in the same cozy apartment with her same roommate, who so happens to also be 35 and single.

We rode the bus to an area where we could get a drink and catch up for more than our 20 minute bus ride would allow.  Somewhat embarrassed, Tracy told me that she hadn’t been on a date in one year after she broke up with her ex-boyfriend.  “We were good friends for 5 years until we decided to start dating.  That lasted 6 months and now we don’t even talk,” Tracy lamented.

“I felt that once I turned 30, my life was over.  Good looking guys slowly stopped talking to me and I can’t figure it out whether it’s because of my age, or because I can’t carry my own in a conversation,” Tracy went on to say.  “Really old and gross guys who could be my father’s age would start chatting me up.  I hated it.”

Tracy still looked good, but I could tell she had definitely aged quite a bit from our days playing softball together.  She wore heavy make up to conceal her wrinkles, which simply made her look even older.  “You look great Tracy!” I told her, trying to cheer her up.  She oozed an insecurity that would deflate the most helium-infused balloon.  Even Bobo the Clown wouldn’t be able to cheer her up.  Her low sense of self-worth somehow made her unattractive.

LIVING BEYOND 30 AND CURSING YOUNGER WOMEN

I don’t know what it’s like to be single in my 30s, but I’d have to imagine that as a guy with a job living in a big city like San Francisco, it could be pretty fun.  Yet with Tracy, she hates every minute of her 30s.  She curses the city and her misfortune.  She also curses 27 year old girls for taking all the good-looking, available men.  Isn’t it ironic that she was that same girl 8 years ago who was despised?

“When I was 27, I got all the attention.  I could have practically any guy I wanted.  I took my youth for granted because everybody always treated nicely.  I felt special and that’s all I’ve ever known.  I know that I’m not unattractive, yet I don’t know why I don’t have more self-confidence.  Now that I’m older, I have more self-confidence but I have less of a selection.  Do I really have to go out with guys in their late-40s and 50s to find someone now?”  Tracy asked.

I empathize with Tracy because guys seem to have more selection the older we get while women have less.  At the same time, women always seem to prefer dating men that are the same age or older.  I remember my female friends in their 20s always look down upon guys their age or younger because they “weren’t mature enough”.  Men, on the other hand are more open to dating younger and older women.  As men age, we naturally have more of a selection because our pool gets bigger.  Just imagine, when we are 100, we can date everyone!

A SMALL WINDOW

According to Tracy, there really seems to only be a short 5-7 year window for a woman to find an ideal man before her opportunity fades.  Tracy says she and her friends out of college wanted to experience the world, work on their careers and not be tied down by anything or anyone.  They knew they could have the pick of the litter, and only when they turned 27 did they think about settling down.  What they didn’t realize was that their beauty would fade, and if they didn’t find someone by the time they were 30, it became exponentially harder to find their Prince Charming since he had already moved on to someone else, and maybe a younger someone, who is much more open to settling down.

With each year that passes, Tracy feels more and more lost.  She used to joke about being a “Panther” in her 20s, locking down any man she wants with a simple demure look.  At 35, she admits she’s now a “Cougar”, stalking her weak, older, less in shape victims.  Tracy hasn’t lost hope she will one day meet the man of her dreams.  She just now realizes that she should have had more confidence and taken advantage of her good looks while she was younger.  Tracy is financially secure and has a good career, but she would give it all up to be young again and in love.

Readers, is life over for single women in their 30s like Tracy believes?  Why do attractive women sometimes have a very difficult time finding a soul-mate?  Do attractive people have a false sense of security?  Have you ever treated someone differently because they were more attractive?

If you enjoyed this article, please sign up for my RSS Feed or E-mail Feed to keep in touch.

Adele’s song “Someone Like You” sums up this post perfectly.

Live Version

Radio Version with a higher voice range

Regards,

Sam