I clicked the 2 minute super nuke button on my microwave before leaving to park my car. Moose was left outside after a late night of partying and I didn’t want the parking crazies to give me a lovely $70 ticket for blocking my own driveway.
Two minutes should have been enough sizzle time to keep my food toasty before I got back. Eight minutes later (checked and read the mail too), I came back to ravish my leftover Pad Thai. Oh, how disappointed I was and so I tweeted:
“If room temperature is considered warm, why does my food always get cold? #Deepthoughts as I ponder the meaning of life while writing.” via @FinancialSamura
My question was sincere, in the moment, and with no time to think. I got a couple sincerely interesting responses.
“@Financialsamura Is room temperature warm? I thought it was just “eh” :)”
Wrote the lovely @MarenKate with one bagillion followers. Good clue there as my mind started processing. Perhaps inappropriately, but always with honestly I responded,
“@marenkate Room temp is definitely at least lukewarm in my mind, but gets hotter when you tweet. Whuh?”
Not as lovely, but equally as intelligent @DrDeanBurke then pitched in and wrote:
“@financialsamura What is the temp of your tongue? Anything cooler, will taste cool…..No charge!”
How should I know what the temp of my tongue is Doc? I shoulda become a doctor, I’d kill it if I could make money with that advice!
Seconds later, @IWP responds with the lightning bolt answer:
“@Financialsamura Ha, cause it’s because room temperature is colder than you like your food when eating.”
That, in a nutshell is the answer to all suffering, happiness, and disappointment! You see, not only is everything rational, everything is also relative! I like my food hot – hot to the point where my tongue and top of my mouth almost burn off. Anything less is displeasing.
EXAMPLES OF DESIRE & SUFFERING
Back in college, I used to think making $30,000 a year was awesome, and retiring with a million bucks was a monumental achievement. After working for more than a decade, I no longer think this way. What a shame, but something at least I recognize.
So you see, the clear answer to happiness is having low standards (cold food, soggy waffles, inner tubes, one pack gut, low income) and being satisfied with what you have. Who would have thunk that a key question could be found so instantaneously on Twitter?
Readers, shall I start a series called “Deep Thoughts on Twitter”? What do you think causes suffering?