Author Topic: Top Reasons Society Doesn’t Want You to Retire Early  (Read 7956 times)

cwestory

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Top Reasons Society Doesn’t Want You to Retire Early
« on: September 15, 2018, 08:57:34 AM »
After following the FIRE trend for two years, I would love to retire early (age 53). Financially my wife and I can retire now, but she’s dead set against it. I wanted to understand why. After much “discussion” she admitted, “No matter what you say, everybody will think you’re a loser and can’t find a job.”

Aside from your financial standing, what are the things holding you back from early retirement?

Sam

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Re: Top Reasons Society Doesn’t Want You to Retire Early
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2018, 09:36:13 AM »
I had a number of things holding me back from retirement:

1) Fear Of running out of money, even though I had done all the calculations
2) Fear of society thinking I’m a deadbeat loser
3) Fear of tremendous boredom given I spent 12 hours a day working and traveling abroad every quarter

 But after six years of not having a day job, I can emphatically say that I do not regret leaving when I did in 2012. There is so much more to life than just working at a job that I no longer enjoyed. You find ways to fill your joy.

 Who makes more money? Maybe your wife is afraid that if you stop working, the dynamics will change in your household. My wife was never against me retiring early. Maybe that is rare, but she wanted to leave work as well. Given I was three years older, she was supportive so she could leave as well.
Regards,

Sam

defomcduff

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Re: Top Reasons Society Doesn’t Want You to Retire Early
« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2018, 10:15:48 AM »
@Sam: Do you think of yourself as "retired"?  I'm all for financial freedom and quitting your day job, but "retiring" in your 30s or 40s doesn't make sense to me.

Work less, but keeping working and work on something you're passionate about.  Like Financial Samurai.

I think "retiring early" is a bit of a misnomer, especially for the kind of driven people who are capable of making it.

I'm on the path to financial freedom not so that I can stop working, but so that nobody's forcing me to.

For this reason, "early retirement" always struck me as an odd term.

Agree / disagree / thoughts?



I had a number of things holding me back from retirement:

1) Fear Of running out of money, even though I had done all the calculations
2) Fear of society thinking I’m a deadbeat loser
3) Fear of tremendous boredom given I spent 12 hours a day working and traveling abroad every quarter

 But after six years of not having a day job, I can emphatically say that I do not regret leaving when I did in 2012. There is so much more to life than just working at a job that I no longer enjoyed. You find ways to fill your joy.

 Who makes more money? Maybe your wife is afraid that if you stop working, the dynamics will change in your household. My wife was never against me retiring early. Maybe that is rare, but she wanted to leave work as well. Given I was three years older, she was supportive so she could leave as well.
DeForest
Boston, Massachusetts

defomcduff

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Re: Top Reasons Society Doesn’t Want You to Retire Early
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2018, 10:16:52 AM »
I would also add:

Nearly every empirical study I've been of well-being, happiness, etc. shows the importance of working.

Like Ray Dalio says: "Meaningful work and meaningful relationships."

Breaking free of the rat race is terrific.  Stopping work altogether is not as good.
DeForest
Boston, Massachusetts

Sam

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Re: Top Reasons Society Doesn’t Want You to Retire Early
« Reply #4 on: September 15, 2018, 03:05:22 PM »
I would also add:

Nearly every empirical study I've been of well-being, happiness, etc. shows the importance of working.

Like Ray Dalio says: "Meaningful work and meaningful relationships."

Breaking free of the rat race is terrific.  Stopping work altogether is not as good.

For the first year after leaving my day job, I consider myself retired. We spent a lot of time traveling, and also writing.  After about the first year, I’m no longer thought of myself as retired or told anybody that I am retired.

 There’s too much to do in life once you leave work. Having a livable passive income stream for my entire family really has given us a lot of options.
Regards,

Sam

defomcduff

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Re: Top Reasons Society Doesn’t Want You to Retire Early
« Reply #5 on: September 15, 2018, 07:11:30 PM »
For the first year after leaving my day job, I consider myself retired. We spent a lot of time traveling, and also writing.  After about the first year, I’m no longer thought of myself as retired or told anybody that I am retired.

 There’s too much to do in life once you leave work. Having a livable passive income stream for my entire family really has given us a lot of options.

Good thoughts.  I’m still wondering whether I’ll ever *retire*, per se.  Too many kids to feed on my end!  But, I see 20-30 hours of week per week as the sweet spot that I’m aiming for (and achieve about half of my weeks).  I’m looking forward to more flexibility when my kids are older.
DeForest
Boston, Massachusetts

SouthWestIron

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Re: Top Reasons Society Doesn’t Want You to Retire Early
« Reply #6 on: September 18, 2018, 03:14:13 PM »
For the first year after leaving my day job, I consider myself retired. We spent a lot of time traveling, and also writing.  After about the first year, I’m no longer thought of myself as retired or told anybody that I am retired.

 There’s too much to do in life once you leave work. Having a livable passive income stream for my entire family really has given us a lot of options.

Good thoughts.  I’m still wondering whether I’ll ever *retire*, per se.  Too many kids to feed on my end!  But, I see 20-30 hours of week per week as the sweet spot that I’m aiming for (and achieve about half of my weeks).  I’m looking forward to more flexibility when my kids are older.

20 hours doing something your passionate about and earning as well. Have had this discussion with several people. Tends to be lots of "nay" sayers who can't wrap their mind around early retirement. I'd ask who is better off a person who pulls down 5-7 k a month working 50 hours a week or someone who has 3k a month never having to clock in anywhere. Its all about time freedom really.

Orphan

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Re: Top Reasons Society Doesn’t Want You to Retire Early
« Reply #7 on: September 19, 2018, 04:17:55 AM »
Like Sam mentioned. Being bored to death. I pulled the trigger and retired but soon thereafter realized I wanted to do something. So I have found a little job “side hustle “ as they call it here. It was a smart move.

Money Ronin

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Re: Top Reasons Society Doesn’t Want You to Retire Early
« Reply #8 on: October 01, 2018, 07:34:11 PM »
I inadvertently semi-retired at the age of 41.  I was laid off and thought I would try my hand at independent consulting and real estate investing.  I had enough of a nest egg to give it a try and it's worked out wonderfully.  HOWEVER, early retirement isn't all that it's cracked up to be because "Society" including friends and family aren't going to change their views just because you have.

1. Spouse: My wife still works full time.  She's okay with her job.  She doesn't like managing investments whether it be stocks or real estate.  Our wealth is highly theoretical to her--just numbers on a spreadsheets  The paycheck is real.  The healthcare is also an important benefit to retain.  Your wife doesn't need to retire with you but you both need to adapt to a new lifestyle.  My wife mostly works from home so she had to adapt to my increased presence. 
2. Kids: Just because I have the time and money to travel the world doesn't mean I can.  My kids are young and go to school.  I live by their calendar and schedule, but it does provide some structure to my life.  We travel quite a bit, and it's during peak season with peak prices.  Also, I worry about how my unique schedule distorts their sense of the world.  They missed out on all those years I worked 70 hour weeks.  I don't worry about distorting their sense of wealth since I'm still fairly frugal.
3. Friends: Just because I'm free on a Thursday from 8 am to 4 doesn't mean my friends are.  They all work and have young kids.  It's kind of lonely in that sense.  I don't rub it in by proclaiming to the world that I'm independently wealthy.  I don't even post my vacation photos on social media.
3. Banks: I was laid-off/retired at the same time that I was in escrow to buy a rental property.  I actually looked at it as a positive because I likely wouldn't be able to get the loan after I was laid off.  Banks don't value self-employment income the same way as a steady paycheck.  (Apartment loans are an exception which I can explain in a different post).
4. Self: Sometimes I'm bored and I think I am squandering my potential.  I have little interest in the blind pursuit of more money, so I guess I need to find a hobby or volunteer.
5.  Society: I don't advertise that I'm retired so I doubt anyone will think I am loser.  Financial independence has made me a lot less concerned about other people's opinions.  However, I have many "covers" depending upon the purpose of the interaction which may include:
    a. Lazy bum living off of the wife
    b. Stay at home Dad
    c. Works from home
    d. In-between jobs
    e. Independent consultant
    f. Real estate investor
    g. International Spy (explains the extended international trips)
    h. Financial genius (no one's buying this one either)

Sydney

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Re: Top Reasons Society Doesn’t Want You to Retire Early
« Reply #9 on: October 01, 2018, 11:02:14 PM »
I'm so sorry to hear your wife is so unsupportive. That must hurt and be so frustrating. Does she have a lot of insecurities? Maybe her own insecurities are making her worry more about what other people think instead of thinking about your feelings and your happiness as a couple. Have you talked to her about the numbers in detail and explained how you envision your finances working out?


After following the FIRE trend for two years, I would love to retire early (age 53). Financially my wife and I can retire now, but she’s dead set against it. I wanted to understand why. After much “discussion” she admitted, “No matter what you say, everybody will think you’re a loser and can’t find a job.”

Aside from your financial standing, what are the things holding you back from early retirement?

Orphan

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Re: Top Reasons Society Doesn’t Want You to Retire Early
« Reply #10 on: October 12, 2018, 08:45:40 AM »
The top reason ?

Millions on welfare are depending on you to work so you can generate tax revenue to pay for their nonsense...