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Started by Sam, January 19, 2019, 08:37:01 AM
Quote from: Sam on January 19, 2019, 10:22:12 AMHere's one reason from Twitter from @WallStreetPlayboys that makes sense:People would rather see you fail even if you did nothing to them.Also every time you buy or sell someone is doing the opposite so they think you are insulting them.Given there are two sides of the market, and most people are long, if you sell, it may be perceived as an affront to them.
Quote from: polama on January 21, 2019, 09:21:00 AMThere's three traits that I think all of us are guilty of from time to time, but that maybe 15% of the population is just terrible about.The first is an inability to see things from a different perspective. If buying something would be irresponsible for you, it must be irresponsible for everyone. If you had advantages in life, then everyone must have those (and those who fail must be morally bankrupt). If you had disadvantages in life, then anyone who succeeds must have cheated.* I was in a common area in a basement of a college building where two maintenance workers were fixing an escalator. A girl came over to ask if there were other stairs? They pointed her to them, and after she left one looked incredulous at the other and said "yeah, of course there are other stairs! It's a public building, there's got to be at least 3 exits from the basement!" In a "can you believe how dumb she is" way. Buidling codes were basic knowledge to him, and you have to be pretty stupid to lack basic knowledge. I see this over and over, where people hugely overvalue the skills and knowledge of there profession.The second is a tendency to substitute people in our past life in for others. Perhaps you had a boor of an uncle who droned on about all his stock picking prowess. Perhaps you got cut off in traffic by a fancy luxury car. Now suddenly anybody with a fancy car is a jerk, or anyone actively trading stocks in a loudmouthed idiot.* I'd worked with a gentleman for perhaps 6 years before becoming his boss. Overnight I became this frightening father figure looking to catch him out and upbraid him. It took months to reassure him. Years of knowing me, of seeing me manage others fairly, etc. couldn't stand up to some bad experiences with authority figures long ago.The third is good old cognitive dissonance meshed with a poor grasp on uncertainty. If you say I should do one thing, an I recently did something different, one of us must be wrong and it's not going to be me. And the more you make sense, the the wronger you have to be to balance out that my choice was the right one.So when you post on the internet:People don't know you, so they insert whatever person you vaguely remind them of. If they had a bad relationship with that person, they've already got a bad relationship with you.Then they evaluate your choices through there own circumstances, and if these don't mesh chalk it up to an error in your thinking.But of course, if you're otherwise rational seeming, there's some tension here. Why would you be so wrong about this? So they want you to acknowledge the error in your ways so there thinking can be totally blameless. So it becomes important to tell you, to scold you, to try to get you to admit they're right.Sprinkle in the unhealthy relationships people have with money, and tada, instant scolding whatever you do.
Quote from: Sam on January 22, 2019, 08:29:01 PM...Love all of this! Thanks for the perspective! Do you think that it's odd for someone NOT to be triggered by what other people do with their money?
QuoteI've found that as soon as I tell myself, "Everything is rational," any type of judgement goes away.Examples:1) If someone has 100% of their net worth in equities today, good for them. They rationally believe the upside reward is greater than the downside risk, and can take the risk.2) If someone wants to buy a $100,000 car, good for them. They must love cars and must be able to afford the car, otherwise they wouldn't buy the car. 3) I tell myself I don't have 4-pack abs anymore b/c I enjoy food and relaxing more than having 4-pack abs. Rational!
Quote from: CallieSF on January 27, 2019, 12:41:51 PMGreat question. Recently I was chastised for not spending my time and money traveling all over the world given my early retirement situation. I was literally frowned upon! I find more personal happiness giving to and attending charity events in my community, teaching in my side-hustle-turned-career, traveling to awesome events and seeing F&F all over North America. Plus I live in California and close to Hawaii--it doesn't get much better than that. Ironically, all of these people that lecture me are either broke or in heavy debt. I shared a recent blurb on money psychology (Are you a Spender, Saver, Avoider or Investor?) and man did that stir up some commentary! Bottom line: I think some people are jealous of others who can afford to do what THEY want to do deep down, but can't (or shouldn't due to their financial situation.) We have the chance to live their dreams, and somehow that gets crossed over into a very judgy situation. They forget that some of us have had great discipline over many years to become financially independent and free on our own with many sacrifices along the way. How you spend your time and money is about personal choice, and no one else's business!Very few people "put it out there" like you do Sam, so just ignore those people and keep up the good work educating others. Thank you for all of your insights, charts and updates over the years. Sharing is caring!
Quote from: KentBnntt on June 13, 2019, 05:00:37 AMI think it all comes from our culture. We've been always taught not to talk about the money, about our spendings and income. It was kind of impolite and ashamed to discuss salary with colleagues, rent expenses with friends, etc. That is why, I think that when you share something about your financial experience, people start attacking you.