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Financial Freedom => Family Finances => Topic started by: Sam on September 15, 2018, 06:00:00 PM

Title: Is it more of a privilege to afford daycare or to stay at home?
Post by: Sam on September 15, 2018, 06:00:00 PM
 I've taken the view that if you can stay at home and raise your kids for the first 2 to 5 years of his or her life, that may be best since you will love and care for your child more than anybody during the critical first five years of development.

Over social media, and one or two of my posts, some moms were not happy with my view and basically implied I had an elitist attitude.

But isn't being able to make more money than the cost of childhood the real privilege? Many folks simple can't afford to pay $2,000-$3,000 a month after tax to send their kids to daycare.

As a SAHD, I'm giving up a six figure income to be with my boy. How is sacrificing money for family not something honorable?

Discuss!
Title: Re: Is it more of a privilege to afford daycare or to stay at home?
Post by: Hayden on September 16, 2018, 07:32:19 PM
Quote from: Sam on September 15, 2018, 06:00:00 PM

As a SAHD, I'm giving up a six figure income to be with my boy. How is sacrificing money for family not something honorable?

Discuss!

I cannot agree more that being a SAHD is absolutely honorable seeing as you have grown your own brand to support your family and through 529 Millionaires being able to give your child the best possible financial future. My wife is a nanny right now for an extremely affluent family that lives local and I can tell you and so could she that those young kids (both 2 years old) crave nothing more than their own parent's attention but are stuck with nannies that change every 6 months to a year.

I think that there is great value and honor in taking time to be with your kids, especially when they are in those critical developmental years. Like you said, Sam, it costs a lot to provide care for your kids and if you do the math in how much you can save when you have a parent at home it doesn't change that much if you are in the median income earner bracket in America. Life is much too short to trade family for money.
Title: Re: Is it more of a privilege to afford daycare or to stay at home?
Post by: defomcduff on September 17, 2018, 05:41:32 AM
Quote from: Sam on September 15, 2018, 06:00:00 PM
As a SAHD, I'm giving up a six figure income to be with my boy. How is sacrificing money for family not something honorable?

Discuss!

I think it's totally honorable, and a great decision you've made for your family (especially given how much passive income you've built up).

Bigger picture, I think it's more of a privilege to have childcare, or at least the option for it.  It's expensive, as we all know, and only works if you are high income.

Overall, I view having support at home as a positive rather than a negative, but I think you're making an honorable decision to spend more time at home in lieu of greater income, status, whatever for yourself.

Title: Re: Is it more of a privilege to afford daycare or to stay at home?
Post by: Chief on September 19, 2018, 12:42:53 PM
Quote from: Sam on September 15, 2018, 06:00:00 PM
But isn't being able to make more money than the cost of childhood the real privilege? Many folks simple can't afford to pay $2,000-$3,000 a month after tax to send their kids to daycare.

As a SAHD, I'm giving up a six figure income to be with my boy. How is sacrificing money for family not something honorable?

Discuss!


I wouldn't disagree with anything you've said. Honestly, I would say this may come down a bit to jealousy and guilt. And I say this as the father of a 4-year old and 2-year old that attend full-time Pre-K and daycare, respectively.

In the vast majority of cases, full-time employment will be able to cover the cost of daycare. There may be scenarios where there are multiple children and/or the family is located in a very high-cost area, but most Americans can find full-time daycare at or below $1500 a month and most Americans can pull in greater than 20k each year through full-time work. In many more cases, the costs of daycare can be found for less and people can make twice the income.

Of course the reason that people pay for childcare usually isn't just to have someone else watch their child. I would think the biggest reasons for daycare are so that the parent(s) can earn additional income to maintain or improve the family's standard of living. This may mean using additional income to pay for a home down-payment, save in a 529, save for retirement so that you are not dependent on a child in later years, reduce a debt burden, provide vacations, etc. Ultimately, it is up to each parent to determine whether that additional amount of money is worth being away from their child for hours and hours each day. For those that only make 10k over the cost of daycare, it may not make sense to them. For those that may make 100k over the cost of daycare, it may make sense to continue working. Additionally, if all of your financial needs are met, than there may be no need to sacrifice time for greater income. The difficult part, though, is determining what "financial needs" actually are (mortgage payment vs beach house) as well as the value of parental care.

In my case, my wife and I both work full-time at solid-paying jobs and we also are very pleased with the pre-school and in-home daycare that our kids attend. We use the additional income earned by relying on daycare to provide for lots of things for our kids and one day hope to add another child to our family. In addition, we hope to be able to afford most (if not all) of the cost of undergrad expenses for them. We also hope to have all of our retirement needs met and potentially be able to retire early and/or provide in some way for future grandchildren. This is something that is important to my wife and I and we would not be able to manage with only one income. We also aren't sure of the impact on re-entering the workforce after a 5-year hiatus. Sure, you could say that my wife and I are being "less honorable" by continuing to work and not sacrificing more, but I would make the argument that we are sacrificing now for a much stronger future for the entire family. All in all, we are very happy with our lives as well as what we are able to provide for our children and their growth as people.

In your case, however, you and your wife are able to manage all of those things already. You are able to provide a home, nurture growth, fully fund a 529, take vacations, and be relatively assured that your finances will last through retirement. A very small percentage of people are this fortunate. It's something that you absolutely should be proud of, but something that many may also be envious of. Still others may even feel guilt that they were less financially responsible in earlier years and are now unable to provide the care, education, experiences, etc. that they wish they could.

TL;DR - Yes, those that are able to afford daycare and earn additional money to improve their quality of life are privileged. However, those that understand their true financial needs and have already realized or attained them may be even more privileged.
Title: Re: Is it more of a privilege to afford daycare or to stay at home?
Post by: Sam on September 19, 2018, 01:17:15 PM
Chief, thanks for your thoughts. Very insightful. And I think you and your wife are doing whta's best for your family. And that's the thing. People have to do what's best for their family, so why judge others?

I have never judged anybody for sending their kids to daycare, which is why I was surprised about some people's criticism of me trying to be a better SAHD.