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Should we *ever* spend extra for private schools? If so, when?

Started by defomcduff, September 11, 2018, 02:27:05 PM

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defomcduff

I'm well aware of traditional arguments and trade-offs of public vs private education.  There are both financial aspects and educational aspects.

Here's my question: when is the *highest value* period to spend extra money on education?  In other words, if you're going to invest dollars in your child's education, where do you get the most bang for your buck?


  • Pre-school (Montessori education or otherwise?)
  • Elementary School
  • Middle School
  • High School
  • College
  • Graduate

I'd love to hear any rank orders people might share (#6, #4, etc.).  I'll share mine after a few responses.
DeForest
Boston, Massachusetts

Kalliste

Good question. Just my 2 cents, if you want to have your kids exposed to a foreign language and become fluent, the earliest they are exposed to that foreign language the better. Multi language schools are usually private. For that reason, putting your kids to private pre-school is a great idea so they can become fluent in a foreign language. A great gift they will be happy to have later in life :)

Orphan

Extra for private schools? That is a great question...and very important....I think the most critical aspect is if the school district one resides in is safe and provides for a quality education. I lived in a very large metropolitan city and the elementary schools were honestly not all that bad. When the kids went to middle and high schools that was the kicker with very few exceptions...you could not send your child  without fear of them being hurt and the quality of the school was horrible...

So I guess the answer is where one lives is critical component as to the value of private education..

JMO

defomcduff

Thanks for the thoughts.  To me, it's a measure of how much better is private education relative to your outside option (how good are you public schools).  I think it makes sense to spend $$ on #1 (pre-school), since your outside option is probably already expensive childcare.  Then probably #6 (graduate school), #5 (college), then #2 - #4 depends on where you live.

Quote from: defomcduff on September 11, 2018, 02:27:05 PM

  • Pre-school
  • Elementary School
  • Middle School
  • High School
  • College
  • Graduate
DeForest
Boston, Massachusetts

Sam

 Good question I am thinking about right now. I'm looking to send my son to a public language immersion school from kindergarten to middle school. But to get in requires winning the lottery. So if you cannot get in, then we have to look at private school for the language immersion.

I had a great time going to private international school when I was in Malaysia for a middle school. I didn't have a good time going to public high school when I came back to America. I wish I would have just stayed in Malaysia to go from middle school to high school. It was probably the shock of changing schools at such a critical age that made it unpleasant. That's sad, it did build character.  But I also got in trouble as well.

I think the biggest difference is how present parents are.
Regards,

Sam

defomcduff

Quote from: Sam on September 13, 2018, 07:23:15 AM
I think the biggest difference is how present parents are.

I agree for younger kids.  But peer group starts to matter just as much, if not more, as kids get older.  I think it's a balance of factors, parenting and schooling being two of the biggest.

Good luck on finding the right school for FS Jr!
DeForest
Boston, Massachusetts

kiquos

Hello, we have 2 boys, 8 & 11 yrs old. Now the following is only for background, and I don't want to get into political or PR discussion, its just a frame of reference. We live in a county with poor public schools, and we are also believe and have a strong Faith in Christianity, and thus have strong conservative values. 
SO, we decided to put our kids in a Christian pre-school, not much in cost, and soon after we moved into Homeschooling our kids in a Hybrid Christian school, 2 days at home, 3 days in private school. It saved us some money, since full private is very expensive (at least for us). I have to say it has been the best decision we have made. Fully private are great education, usually more advanced than public, there are some disadvantages like Sports, usually their sports selections are far less, since there are less kids and sports programs cost money which drives up tuition. Also, you get at times (on the higher grades) more spoiled kids, a sense of entitlement, in High School rich kids driving Bimmer's, Benz, Porsche's as the first car as a softmore/junios etc.. This may be good for some, but it sends a wrong message for kids, that hard work is not necessary to acquire these things instead. So research the schools, ask and find people that have kids there, talk to the kids, the parents usually dont have a clue what happens in the school, the kids do. At least in my state 90% if not 100 Private schools are Christian, so you may want to ask if this is ok with you.  On the flip side, there are a lot of changes happening to our culture that you may or may not agree with, like schools teaching kids on Homosexuality, the no gender bathrooms, etc.. This change is applicable to Public schools and usually not on private schools (since the private school parent almost dictate law, otherwise they pull the kids and their funds, which in public they dont care if a parent pulls their kid).

Now I don't know the rankings of your public schools, you'd have to research that, and if you plan to move in the future, etc.. Usually the best public schools are in the more fluent neighborhoods (not always, but that is the trend). Which means you would pay higher mil rate on Property Taxes (if you own) or higher rent.


Ranking
- Pre-School - either way, you will be ok,
- Elementary - these are very important years, strongly recommend Private, since you get a strong foundation on Math, Science, your kids will be ahead of public (most instances)
- Middle School - Recommend Private, these are the Mean years, kids are testing parents and testing boundaries, more than before. 
- High School - Here can be a good time to go public (good public) if budget does not allow it, kids should have a good foundation, tryout for Sports (can lead to scholarships), private get more expensive here
- Undergrad/Grad - there are plenty of good state public schools, private are extremely expensive, plus make sure you are in-state tuition

I hope this helps, this is of course my opinion based on my experience and my wife's large family with a lot of kids of all ages, in public and private.

Values and respect of teachers and others starts at home, having you a strong respectful foundation is important, it will carry your children throughout life, in their trials, how to deal with mean kids and the things they say, the clicks, the inclusion and exclusion. We can't always be with our children, especially in school, and help them deal with the emotions of betrayal, shame, etc...

There are some decent websites on school rankings, research them. Again, it depends on your location... Good luck

Sam

Kiquos - Can you share the tuition cost? That's really one of the critical factors in determining private school. thx
Regards,

Sam

kiquos

In Central FL, fully Private Christian (only ones here) Schools are about $11k for Pre-K, and up towards $15k for High School/year on the low end and up to $20k on high end schools sometimes a little more in the fees they throw in later (like field trips, teacher gifts etc..)

The Hybrid we go to I pay $10k /year for 2 kids (due to partial Homeschooling).

Hope this helps...

Jon Sharpe

As a father of a 16-year-old high school junior and 18-year-old college freshman, I can tell you what we did. We paid for Montessori pre-k which was great and then moved into a good school district and started them in Kindergarten all the way through the public system. I can tell you that the education they have received has been outstanding. Being in a good school district also helps to maintain and grow property values.

If you don't live in a good school district, then I think you have some difficult choices to make, unless tuition for the private schools is not an issue.

Sam

Cool beans. I wonder if Brett Kavanaugh hurts or helps the prep school -> private university route.

Quote from: Jon Sharpe on September 22, 2018, 02:26:29 PM
As a father of a 16-year-old high school junior and 18-year-old college freshman, I can tell you what we did. We paid for Montessori pre-k which was great and then moved into a good school district and started them in Kindergarten all the way through the public system. I can tell you that the education they have received has been outstanding. Being in a good school district also helps to maintain and grow property values.

If you don't live in a good school district, then I think you have some difficult choices to make, unless tuition for the private schools is not an issue.
Regards,

Sam

Cheezus

Quote from: Jon Sharpe on September 22, 2018, 02:26:29 PM
As a father of a 16-year-old high school junior and 18-year-old college freshman, I can tell you what we did. We paid for Montessori pre-k which was great and then moved into a good school district and started them in Kindergarten all the way through the public system. I can tell you that the education they have received has been outstanding. Being in a good school district also helps to maintain and grow property values.

If you don't live in a good school district, then I think you have some difficult choices to make, unless tuition for the private schools is not an issue.

Fully agree here.  A good public school is more than adequate.  I also believe that a child's success in ANY school has a lot to do with parental involvement.  Is the parent checking grades?  Making sure homework is done?  Studying with their child?  Etc.  Holding the child accountable.

I think you'll find any half decent school has perfectly nice and capable teachers following a mandated curriculum.

Sam, tuition to a quality private school where we live will run $25k/yr per child.  $50k for our 2 children.  I can't, in any way, make sense of that.  It comes down to the value of education, I guess?  Will the difference between private and public school help your child earn more than $1M over their lifetime?  Just putting the tuition in to a compound interest calculator, I could give my child + -  $1M in their early 20's by simply investing the $25k at typical S&P 500 returns.  Pay off their house and fund their retirement.  They could then follow their dreams and do anything they want with less financial pressure.  I put more value in that then private school.

Sam

Quote from: kiquos on September 20, 2018, 08:07:33 AM
In Central FL, fully Private Christian (only ones here) Schools are about $11k for Pre-K, and up towards $15k for High School/year on the low end and up to $20k on high end schools sometimes a little more in the fees they throw in later (like field trips, teacher gifts etc..)

The Hybrid we go to I pay $10k /year for 2 kids (due to partial Homeschooling).

Hope this helps...

$15K /year ain't that bad.

Here in SF, HS is $45K / year. MS is $35K.
Regards,

Sam

Sam

 I just met a realtor who is sending his twins two pre-K private school for $30,000 each. He says he have to donate another $3000 each for fundraising.

Spending at least $66,000 for two kids who are three years old is simply ridiculous. I'd rather just live overseas instead, as the school is sending his twin two is a Mandarin immersion school.
Regards,

Sam

Rdizzle

I personally think homeschool is overlooked these days. My brother and I were both homeschooled until early highschool but were advanced enough by then to graduate with a diploma and associates degree at the same time. Of course that depends on a stay at home parent but saves the money of private school while generally attaining a higher degree of education then public.

Sydney

I attended public school from K through 10th. I was miserable by 10th grade. Our whole city was jammed into 1 high school and there were a lot of rough kids and bullies. I remember being scared walking down the halls because there were constantly fist fights. The girl fights were the worst. I begged my parents to go to private school even though we didn't have much money. I managed to get a scholarship to a great private school and suddenly I LOVED school. It was a major game changer for me. I probably would have benefited from private school much younger, but at least I was able to go when I did.

Cheezus

Quote from: Sam on October 29, 2018, 04:31:55 PM
I just met a realtor who is sending his twins two pre-K private school for $30,000 each. He says he have to donate another $3000 each for fundraising.

Spending at least $66,000 for two kids who are three years old is simply ridiculous. I'd rather just live overseas instead, as the school is sending his twin two is a Mandarin immersion school.

WOW.  That is ridiculous.  Just imagine if that money was put in to an investment for the childs benefit.  Just ONE YEAR of tuition could compound to over $100,000 by the time the child is out of school.  They could start a business, buy an apartment, all sorts of things.  I just can't see a private pre-school having that much more value.

Sam

Cheezus, I don't have to imagine, I did the numbers!

https://www.financialsamurai.com/accept-1000000-to-attend-public-school-over-private-school/

Give me $1 million any day!

Regards,

Sam

Cheezus

Quote from: Sam on October 30, 2018, 08:09:28 AM
Cheezus, I don't have to imagine, I did the numbers!

https://www.financialsamurai.com/accept-1000000-to-attend-public-school-over-private-school/

Give me $1 million any day!

Ah yes, I remember that post! 

Maybe that's what has subconsciously been on my mind.

Old_Arpad

I went to a private boarding-school from age 10 - 18 due to frequent moves during my childhood. I spent summers and christmases with my parents wherever they happened to be, then returned to Britain to live at my school during term-times.

I had a very good time at school, a great education, and a life with a lot of friends who I remain in contact with to this day.  Boarding-school was the best way to guarantee stability of education for me, or I'd have been changing schools every time we moved.  This isn't the classic public versus private argument of course, as I never went to public schools - prior to age 10 I had tutors.  But this can be another reason for considering private school for some parents.