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How much did you spend on your wedding and why did you spend that amount?

Started by Sam, September 26, 2018, 07:05:03 AM

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Sam

Doing a new post! Perhaps readers want to pitch in on:

1) How much they spent on a wedding
2) And why?

The average wedding cost is around $33,000 in America today. Why do you think people spend so much when half end in divorce, and a wedding lasts only 12 hours at most?

Cheers
Regards,

Sam

myamnesia

We spent $15K because that was the least we could get away with spending and still keep everyone happy...the majority of the money went on the event space, food & drink...my dress cost $200 and that was more than I wanted to spend...11 years ago and are still married!!

rtysmith

Whew - I did not pay for my wedding but know it was over $250k - my wife comes from wealth and only daughter.

Why do they spend? Its a show and a milestone.

The show of wealth may not be that important (not to me) but the recognition of a milestone and a change in the trajectory of life is of high importance. We try and never miss a meaningful celebration of anything - life, birth, birthday, holiday, death...

Orphan

About 10 bucks. Been married 33 years.

Told my kids. I don't pay for weddings. I pay for college educations. Simple concept.

Weddings have their place but spending exorbitant amounts of money of them is a waste in my opinion.

Blessings to those that decide to have a blowout...

Irish247

Ugh $55k for the wedding, probably another $15k rehearsal dinner,  then add in all the incidentals for another $5-10k.  Looking back on it, while it was amazing and potentially once in a life - I do often see it as a 24 hour party for nearly $80k. Imagine what you could do with an extra $80k. 

Sam

Quote from: rtysmith on September 26, 2018, 01:15:36 PM
Whew - I did not pay for my wedding but know it was over $250k - my wife comes from wealth and only daughter.

Why do they spend? Its a show and a milestone.

The show of wealth may not be that important (not to me) but the recognition of a milestone and a change in the trajectory of life is of high importance. We try and never miss a meaningful celebration of anything - life, birth, birthday, holiday, death...

Wow!  Did your wife's parents pay for everything? What do you think they are worth? Do you think a lot of it was a show for their friends?

Do you feel indebted to your in-laws for that expense? And curious to know if they pay for anything else like a house and stuff like that. As a parent now, I wonder how much I should help my son when he's an adult.
Regards,

Sam

rtysmith

LOL - that's a lot of questions.

My FIL is defiantly a man with a lot of friends and loves to celebrate. I think it was a pleasure for him, a way to celebrate his success. I think my folks might have paid for the rehearsal dinner - it was 18 years ago so a bit foggy.

Its hard for me to put a value on it- I certainly did not have the money to do that type of wedding and was not offered the cash in lieu...that would have been a tough one.

I don't feel indebted to them for the wedding; I did borrow money from my FIL at one point to save a business; I wish I had not done that but it is completely paid off now (it just delayed the death of that business).

They are very generous - setting up trusts for 7 grandchildren which will make them millionaires by the time they are 18 and helping with first houses and such. Its a tough one to explain to the kids, but we say your grandparents are paying for your college, and I am very likely to do the same for my grandchildren (compound interest baby!) and I max out my kids IRA's every year (its a grey area, but wish it had been done for me, planning for retirement would have been much easier with compound interest over 30 years).

I will help my kids but not save them, they need struggle and they need to work (they are currently teens and option is camp or work in the summers, and work will be required once in college, if I have a say).

Sam

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I have so many things I'm wondering about as a parent now.

Man, to be a multi-millionaire by 18 could be great, but also a pity. Nothing is more rewarding than working hard for your own success!

But isn't it fun to bust your butt while knowing you have a security net though? Like playing with the house's money!

Regards,

Sam

Leigh

$250K!!!!!   Whoa! That wins the prize!
For me, it was a second marriage. Being older and wiser, I chose what mattered most. 24 closest family and friends, a quaint outdoor area with benches, a basket of flowers at the foot of the cross, a nice dress, flowers gifted by my sister, a catered reception with heavy appetizers and a cake (all from a German bakery). Because it was only 24 folks, the cost was under $1,000.

I LOVED having it small and intimate. There was so little planning. So hardly any stress at all!


Orphan

Quote from: Leigh on October 01, 2018, 01:22:02 PM
$250K!!!!!   Whoa! That wins the prize!
For me, it was a second marriage. Being older and wiser, I chose what mattered most. 24 closest family and friends, a quaint outdoor area with benches, a basket of flowers at the foot of the cross, a nice dress, flowers gifted by my sister, a catered reception with heavy appetizers and a cake (all from a German bakery). Because it was only 24 folks, the cost was under $1,000.

I LOVED having it small and intimate. There was so little planning. So hardly any stress at all!


That sounds like a perfect evening. Everything reasonable..

Hayden

I can speak to this since I just got married this last Friday, 9/28/2018. We spent about 15k on our wedding which included a dinner reception for 100 guests. We absolutely LOVED our wedding. We originally only wanted to spend 10k, but we splurged on our honeymoon and she HAD to have a specific dress;). We saved up our entire engagement and had the best day of our lives. The numbers that I hear 50k, 100k, 200k+ blow my mind, but I suppose some people like to really party.
Very Respectfully,
Hayden

Sam

Quote from: Hayden on October 01, 2018, 08:38:53 PM
I can speak to this since I just got married this last Friday, 9/28/2018. We spent about 15k on our wedding which included a dinner reception for 100 guests. We absolutely LOVED our wedding. We originally only wanted to spend 10k, but we splurged on our honeymoon and she HAD to have a specific dress;). We saved up our entire engagement and had the best day of our lives. The numbers that I hear 50k, 100k, 200k+ blow my mind, but I suppose some people like to really party.

Whoo hoo! Congrats! $15K ain't bad at all, especially for 100 guests!
Regards,

Sam

Hayden

Quote from: Sam on October 02, 2018, 12:04:54 AM
Quote from: Hayden on October 01, 2018, 08:38:53 PM
I can speak to this since I just got married this last Friday, 9/28/2018. We spent about 15k on our wedding which included a dinner reception for 100 guests. We absolutely LOVED our wedding. We originally only wanted to spend 10k, but we splurged on our honeymoon and she HAD to have a specific dress;). We saved up our entire engagement and had the best day of our lives. The numbers that I hear 50k, 100k, 200k+ blow my mind, but I suppose some people like to really party.

Whoo hoo! Congrats! $15K ain't bad at all, especially for 100 guests!

I can tell you too, that timing and research can save you thousands on your bottom line. Simple by having our wedding in September, it was considered 'off-season' here in Arizona. Country club and vendor rates were 30%-50% of what they normally are in the prime winter months. If we were to have our wedding one weekend later in October, the bill would be closer to $20k-$22k and in November, $25k-$30k.
Very Respectfully,
Hayden

Sam

New Wedding Rules post is up! https://www.financialsamurai.com/wedding-spending-rules-to-follow-if-you-dont-want-to-end-up-broke-and-alone/
Regards,

Sam

myamnesia

I have to say that timing can make a big difference, we got married the weekend after Thanksgiving and the venue price was significantly lower than the other weekends in November & December. This is typically a dead zone for hospitality as everyone's over Thanksgiving, but not quite in the Holiday spirit. We even lucked out with the weather, the ceremony was outside and multiple people got sunburn, love the Northern Californian weather!

Hayden

Quote from: Sam on October 05, 2018, 07:42:07 AM
New Wedding Rules post is up! https://www.financialsamurai.com/wedding-spending-rules-to-follow-if-you-dont-want-to-end-up-broke-and-alone/

Sam,
My wife and I just read through your post, and wow! I did not realize that weddings should be such a low percentage of your income. Seeing as we spent almost $15k on our wedding, we DID NOT follow the 1% income rule. However, the utility somewhat makes up for the overspending:).
Very Respectfully,
Hayden

Sam

Quote from: Hayden on October 05, 2018, 09:27:14 PM
Quote from: Sam on October 05, 2018, 07:42:07 AM
New Wedding Rules post is up! https://www.financialsamurai.com/wedding-spending-rules-to-follow-if-you-dont-want-to-end-up-broke-and-alone/

Sam,
My wife and I just read through your post, and wow! I did not realize that weddings should be such a low percentage of your income. Seeing as we spent almost $15k on our wedding, we DID NOT follow the 1% income rule. However, the utility somewhat makes up for the overspending:).

Good thing there are 4 other rules to follow that probably allow for greater spend!
Regards,

Sam

Hayden

Quote from: Sam on October 06, 2018, 07:41:17 AM
Quote from: Hayden on October 05, 2018, 09:27:14 PM
Quote from: Sam on October 05, 2018, 07:42:07 AM
New Wedding Rules post is up! https://www.financialsamurai.com/wedding-spending-rules-to-follow-if-you-dont-want-to-end-up-broke-and-alone/

Sam,
My wife and I just read through your post, and wow! I did not realize that weddings should be such a low percentage of your income. Seeing as we spent almost $15k on our wedding, we DID NOT follow the 1% income rule. However, the utility somewhat makes up for the overspending:).

Good thing there are 4 other rules to follow that probably allow for greater spend!

So true! We might have followed them slightly. I think I would've chosen to allocate funds differently than extravegent dresses, but I suppose picking your battles is also smart;)
Very Respectfully,
Hayden

hyperobjeckt

$18K earlier this year, mostly because we chose to have the wedding near where we grew up (and where a lot of our friends & family live) instead of where we live currently. I definitely feel like it was the right call.

That total includes all of the travel back and forth for scoping out venues & meeting with vendors, and the legal marriage which we did in a courthouse in the city where we actually live :)

What I have been telling my engaged friends when they ask about wedding spending is: the best ROI for the whole wedding was our coordinator. She did an awesome job wrangling all of our different vendors and cost just a few hundred bucks.

Rdizzle

67 dollars for a Seattle marriage license. I think we had dinner after so maybe round up to 100?