A Question To Ask On Valentine’s Day

It's Valentine's Day and “Love is in the air, everywhere I look around….” John Paul Young. Let's talk about love and relationships.

If you're single, maybe this song makes you sick? If I didn't have anybody to cozy up with at night, I'd probably randomly hurl at the site of lovers rubbing their noses and holding hands in public. “Why them and not me?!”  Things would get especially tough around Valentine's Day.

Ask This Q On Valentine's Day

Let's face it, money is but a small shadow of importance if you have nobody to spend it with. There can never be a debate about one question this time of year. And that question is:

If you had a choice between finding the love of your life but would always be dirt poor, or never finding the love of your life but having all the money in the world, which would you choose?

I love asking people this question, especially women because it gets them all giddy. I already know their answer. But, it's fun to hear the way they answer anyway, especially when Valentine's Day is approaching.

The Answer Is Always “Love & Poor”

The reason why this question is silly is because you will always have some money thanks to others. But, there is a chance you will never find love. Defining love is easy. You are either in love with someone who loves you back, or you aren't. 

Defining money is hard. You can blow it all on cars, gambling, and designer jeans. But even then, you will likely still have money because of moral hazard. Culprits include: the Bank of Mom & Dad, your friends, your relatives, and good old Uncle Sam who will always be there to take care of you, no matter how reckless your spending. How ironic.

Since Americans won't die from a lack of money, motivation to make money won't always be there. Here's where magazines, TV shoes, gurus and personal finance blogs come in to kick your ass into shape. We step in when you start wondering why your personal finances aren't where you want them to be. That's fine, it's just when you don't realize you're on a particular detrimental course which makes things worrisome.

Whereas with love, you could be the nicest, best looking person on Earth. But, because of destiny or what others may call your low self-esteem or lack of ability to love yourself first, you may never be able to find someone. I don't know if there's a worse fate in life than growing old alone. Well, maybe jabbing long needles into your eyeballs in an enemy prison is worse.

What Are Your Priorities This Valentine's Day?

If you're single, perhaps you feel like you are wasting time thinking about money. Or, maybe after we've reached a certain level of money security or understanding, we should all stop thinking about our personal finances and start think more about our relationships with our loved ones.

Some highlight posts from around the web:

* The second Yakezie Writing Contest has begun! A team of 12 Yakezie Members were assembled to go through 1,049 essays to pick the Top 60. Linked is one of my favorites so far. Come support and vote for your favorite!

* Costs Of Running My Online Business. Mike's online business is getting huge, and it's amazing to see the costs associated with running all his websites. I had no idea. I'm thinking of buying another site myself, and hope to keep costs down.

* Behind The Scenes With Andrew Sorkin Of Too Big To Fail. Andrew's book was riveting, and provided an insightful look at what went down during the financial crisis. Everybody should read his book and get a good understanding of Armageddon.

* I Don't Want My Kid To Have It Better Than Me. Kevin suggests we break the cycle because things don't seem to be that good. Life has been very fair to me so far and I just want my kids to have a chance to fairly compete in a competitive world.

* Creating More Income For A Balanced Budget. Little House discusses various additional income ideas to help ones finances out a little. Staying at home blogging is nice, but I don't think I could do it for more than 4-5 hours a day. I'd go house crazy.

* Bailing Out Family & In-Laws. Elle provides some nice thought processes for what to do when family ask for monetary help. Perhaps somewhat incredibly, I've never been asked by any family member for monetary help.  Maybe I should ask them for some help for my mansion fund. Just kidding.

* What's With All The Begging Online? Mighty Bargain Hunter notices a trend of beggarship that is pervading the online community. It's easier to beg than work for one's spoils. Everybody, send me some money via PayPal now please!

Further Reading And Recommendations

Here are some additional resources I’ve put together that will help you on your financial journey to earn more, save more, and hopefully double or triple your income!

And here are some other articles you may find interesting for further reading



About The Author

24 thoughts on “A Question To Ask On Valentine’s Day”

  1. Interesting, I never seen money and love broken down like that. Nice message about focusing on your relationships. :) For single people, rather than focusing on money than should focus on themselves. After you are done building yourself, money and love tend to follow suit. What do you think about career driven single folks? They seem to be happy replacing love with work or money.

    1. I’m sure career driven folks would love to have both. Balance is pretty important and there is an age where there’s no looking back wrt relationships for some people.

  2. Invest It Wisely

    I guess the answer to the question is obvious. ;) I think there is someone out there for everyone. I’m one of those guys that has had problems with lack of confidence, anxiety, etc… but even I managed to find someone great, so I think in the end that everyone has a potential soulmate out there. We also overestimate our faults; in the end nobody is perfect, I just think that everyone is too hard on themselves and maybe that holds them back from trying more.

  3. Sunil from The Extra Money Blog

    it’s amazing how Hallmark has changed the world – or at least America

  4. Randy Addison

    Valentine’s Day won’t be so sad even if you don’t have a date. You can celebrate it with your closest friends or even celebrate it with your family. Now, if I were to answer the question in your post, I think I would rather get the second choice. lol

  5. I can’t believe it’s Valentine’s already! I’d definitely have to chose love over money. My life has changed so much because of love. I’ve seen some really poor people in my travels and so many of them have the biggest smiles on their faces even with so few possessions. Family and friendship are priceless.

  6. Another angle to this question is “your health”. There are many who have had both love and money but no longer have their health. This will eventually happen to all of us. Deathbed thoughts. But how about at our age? Would you choose, incredible love, infinite wealth, or guaranteed health until everyone you know and love from your generation has passed?

  7. Great thoughts here. It is easy for me to get caught up in all this “money stuff” and forget things that really matter… like love, family and friends. Of course most of use would take love over money, but it’t funny how we act with money once we have love. Money can tear love apart if not handled properly. The Bible says the love of money is the root of evil. If you’re a lucky one who has love this Valentines Day, make sure that it is the priority. Just don’t ignore the money part. Making money behave is like having relationship insurance.

  8. The Financial Blogger

    thx for the mention Sam.

    Remember one thing about the cost of running my business; I work 20 hours or less per week on my online company. This is the cost of not working longer hours and keep growth to a certain level ;-).

    You can’t keep running 5 blogs full time and work 20 hours a week on them.

  9. I am totally stunned by the question. I have been married for years and adore my hubby. (More now than in the beginning). We have never been dirt poor, but we certainly didn’t start out rich. I am glad I didn’t have to contend with the question, I wouldn’t give up my hubby for anything, but neither would I want to be dirt poor!!! Now, you have me thinking-I guess I’d choose hubby and true love over wealth. But it’s not an easy choice.

  10. I want my cake and I’ve got to eat it too!

    I’ve been married many years, so I’ve got the whole love thing down. Of course, we’re not dirt poor so I guess I can’t really complain. I suppose I have my cake and am eating it too. ;)

  11. Nothing is absolute, particular with human beings! Since I am happily married (42 years), this is just an exercise. Presented with your choices, I would choose wealth without the love of my life. Although My wife is a very important ingredient in my life, I realize that I am very accomplishment oriented and wrapped up in my career or whatever I am doing. For me too much of the day, and my thinking is striving for (more) success and accomplishment to ignore. Wealth is a measurement of success and for me, a scorecard. Just because I could not have the love of my life, does not mean I could not be happy! Something less does not mean unhappiness. Dirt poor would definitely make me very unhappy.

    The timing of your question is interesting right before Valentine’s Day! I feel a little guilty expressing my thoughts and glad this is just an exercise.

    1. Takes courage to express these thoughts, so thanks for that! I’ll make sure the wife doesn’t ever come here to read! :)

      May I ask you something? First off, congrats on 42 years of marriage! AWESOME! I assume you are at least 60 years old……. So, do you find it interesting that you still have so much hunger for success and accomplishment after 40+ years working? Is this a DNA thing? Do you not tire and want to just kick back more?

      I’ve found that my hunger for “success” is lower than when I was first 22. Or perhaps, my definition of “success” is just different now? Would love to read more insight from you!

      Thanks mate.

      1. For the record, I am 64. I am genetically predisposed to strive and accomplish.
        My Mother lived to nearly 98 yrs old. She was on her third or fourth career in
        her eighties. She was active to nearly 96 yrs old. She was a very accomplished
        woman, but that is a story unto itself. My Dad died when I was twelve.

        Teaching and blogging has re-energized me! If I enjoy what I am doing I am
        tireless. Things have changed over time, I could no longer build the kinds of
        businesses, I once did. It has nothing to do with energy, it just different! I find
        it amazing, I am spending over 40 hours a week blogging. The success is driving
        me and I am already thinking about the next steps. On one level, I keep
        setting goals and on another I am unclear what is next.

        Right now, I concentrating on my daily tasks. As I accomplish them, I have a plan
        for what I want to do next. Maybe that is just the way my brain works.

        Thanks for the interest.

        1. Excellent to hear that blogging has re-energized you! I hope when I am 60+, blogging does the same for me. I fear burnout and boredom frequently, since I do things with much intensity. As a result, I need to step away and relax more.

          I’m glad you will become a member of the Yakezie! Your energy and wisdom is exactly whatthe Network needs. Cheers

  12. Lisa @ Cents To Save

    Like Retire by 40, I am glad to not be single too. And comfortable is good. ( Do I really believe that?) Well.. for today I do.

  13. Valentine’s Day sucks when you’re alone. But luckily with the help of online dating more people are pairing up and reconnecting which I think is great. I can’t believe it’s mid February already too, phew time flies.

      1. If spicy date conversation is the goal, then throw in a couple more choices:

        – fabulous wealth and crazy love, but with an impairing physical ailment (pick one)
        – Mad money and hot burning love, but publicly despised by all

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