At the beginning of 2020, I was excited to start applying for jobs after my six-month paternity leave was over in June. After eight years of unemployment, I had done everything I wanted to do. Now with two kids, rising living expenses, and the possibility of a downturn, finding work would be the responsible thing to do.

My focus was on being a full-time dad to my daughter during her first six months after birth. Constant sleep deprivation is no fun. After six months, I planned to look for work in the tech, media, or finance space in the SF Bay Area.

Although I had anticipated a downturn, I thought I would have more time to prepare. Further, I did not foresee us purposefully shutting down our economy to combat an invisible common enemy.

The coronavirus has already negatively impacted our family so much. I was looking forward to working in an office for 12 hours a day and participating in happy hours with colleagues again. Alas, my dreams have been put on indefinite hold.

Over the years, I’ve received some doubt from three types of people regarding the feasibility of negotiating a severance package.

The first set of people I’ll call the holier than thou employees. They tell me that “they’d never do such a thing” to their employer, as if their employer was a sacred cow. But what they don’t seem to realize, probably due to having never experienced a recession, is that corporations won’t hesitate to lay them off as soon as times get tough.

The second set of people are those who do not know their worth. They are the type that let colleagues and bosses step all over them because they are too afraid to speak up. They also fear they do not provide enough value to warrant a severance, even though they provide enough value to have a job.

The final set of unbelievers are those who think they are God’s gift to their employers. They think they provide so much value they can’t fathom an employer paying them to leave. But what these people don’t realize is that it is precisely because they are so valuable that they have leverage to negotiate a severance to ensure continuity in the job. No employer wants to have its superstar employee leave suddenly and not have an immediate replacement. Further, once you indicate you want to work something out, no employer will want you to stay long-term.

Despite the doubters, I believe with all my heart that trying to negotiate a severance package is the financially savviest move if you plan to retire early, take a break, go back to school, or change careers. If you plan to leave anyway and if you negotiate the situation properly, there is no downside to having a conversation.

If I had not received a severance package, it is highly unlikely I would have left my job at 34. I would have kept on working until at least 40. When I look back and realize how much more stress and unhappiness I would have had to endure had I stayed for six more years, my severance package only appreciates in value. Being able to travel, pursue other interests, start a family, be a stay at home dad, and build Financial Samurai have been priceless endeavors.

Now that my severance negotiation book is on its third edition, I’ve heard back from hundreds of readers who’ve successfully negotiated between $10,000 – $700,000 severance packages. But in this article, I want to highlight the one that takes the cake.

I have a guest post from one of my favorite bloggers, Joe from Retire by 40. Joe is good guy who also happily does his own thing. I’ve known Joe for about 10 years and we live quite similar lives. The main difference is that he was able to convince his wife to continue working long after he retired and I could not.

When I left my day job in April 2012, I kind of foolishly told my wife that she could also leave her day job before her 35th birthday. My wife is three years younger than me. As a champion of equality, I thought this was a pragmatic approach to a dual early retirement lifestyle. She actually wanted to quit her job at 31 when I engineered my layoff, so it took some convincing not to.

In retrospect, perhaps I should have tried to encourage her to work longer. Not only would she have helped narrow the gender pay gap by getting paid and promoted instead of the men at her firm, but she would also have allowed me to relax more, get six-pack abs, and not have to write so much on Financial Samurai!

Now that our boy is in preschool, I’m gently trying to convince my wife to go back to work full-time again. I’d like to take the financial pressure off my shoulders for a year and focus more time on taking care of the household. So far, I’m not having much luck.

Let’s hear from Joe how he did the impossible!

In 2012, I retired from my engineering career at age 40 to become a stay-at-home dad/blogger. However, my wife continues to work full-time. Everything is working out very well for us and life is awesome.

There are numerous advantages to having a working spouse. We have enough savings to support our modest lifestyle, but we don’t have to drawdown because my wife makes a nice income. Another huge win is healthcare. We’re using her employer-sponsored health plan so we don’t have to deal with ACA.

Our family life is way better than when we both worked full-time because I can take care of the home front. These are just a few of the benefits of staggering your retirement.

But is it unfair for my wife to work full-time while I enjoy early retirement? How did I convince Mrs. RB40 to continue working after I retired? Let me explain how.

When I started Financial Samurai in July 2009, I only told my Japanese colleague who sat next to me, nobody else. I didn’t want any colleagues who had influence over my career to know about my personal website. Financial Samurai was my sanctuary to write about what was on my mind during turbulent times.

When I negotiated a severance in February 2012, I almost blew myself up because I couldn’t contain my excitement. I told a couple colleagues what I had done and they immediately spread the word across the entire floor. What was meant to be a smooth and amiable three-month transition after 11 years at the firm turned out to be an awkward one.

Our HR head called me into her office and told me not to talk about my severance with anyone. I didn’t share details, only that I had negotiated one and that I was leaving. She said that a couple other employees had come up to her asking if they could negotiate a severance as well. If I continued to talk, my severance would be withdrawn.

Our office Managing Director, a guy who could never look me in the eye for longer than one second, also began to give me the cold shoulder. He was understandably annoyed that he might lose a couple of his troops due to what I had done. I’m sure he also didn’t appreciate me looking so happy-go-lucky at work each day given the office atmosphere was usually quite intense.

In the end, I got 100% of my severance money. But I left unceremoniously with no retirement party. It was bittersweet.