Ever hoped for something to break in order to buy a new car? Well I am! I want to buy a new car.
I have to admit, I’m having withdrawals from not driving a different car for over 3 years now. I used to get a new (used) car every year by wheeling and dealing on Craigslist, but I stopped once I found Moose. Moose is so handsome and adventurous, even the ladies love him.
I picked up a friend of mine one evening to go grab some grub, and she mentioned a week later that her stalking neighbor, who has a crush on her said he’s frustrated that guys who own “Moose-like” cars always gets the girl. Maybe buddy, it’s the creepy way you stare out the corner of your window to spy on women that makes you still single?!
A year ago, Moose’s passenger side electronics seat stopped working to my dismay. Luckily, the seat was in a comfortable, semi-reclined position so I let it be. I told myself then that it might be time to start looking for another car soon as fixing the thing might cost $500+ dollars.
And so, I made a decision that as soon as the driver’s seat electronics also stopped working, I’d go and buy me another car.
Each week that went by, I started secretly hoping my seat would stop working. I was hoping for something bad, but not too bad to happen, so I could justify buying something new! Screw it, I thought. I’m going to go visit the dealer and check out the new rides anyway. Moose ain’t ever gonna fail me!
Buy A New Car At The Dealer
As I was inhaling the wonderful rich smell of leather and glue, a service man came up to me and asked if I wanted to consider trading-in Moose for something new. I started feeling horrible since Moose and I had grown so attached.
But, I did tell the serviceman I’d consider it. I revealed the only problem with Moose was the non working passenger side seat, and he said not to worry. He came back 5 minutes later, opened up a compartment under the seat, and swapped out a fuse.
“Your car is as good as new!” the service man shouts.
“Sweet crap,” I think to myself as now I have no reason to exchange Moose for anything else. I also wondered why I didn’t go into the service department to buy a $1 fuse long ago. I told the serviceman that given my car was “as good as new“, I’m good to go and am not interested in spending $58,000 for a new Moose. Now I realize why car dealerships keep Service & Sales separate!
Buy A New Car? Nah
If Moose is a babe magnet, handsome, reliable, and inexpensive, why do I long for something new? Change is human nature and unavoidable so it seems. It’s just like asking why Tiger Woods can’t just be happy with Elin, his family, and his mega millions? The longing for something different is so hard to conquer. It’s almost like an addiction.
Changing cars frequently is one of the stupidest things you can do if you don’t have the financial capacity. You pay taxes with each purchase, often lose money with each sale, your auto insurance may go up, and you never quite know what you are going to get.
Cars are money pits, which is why I seriously recommend you never spend more than 1/10th your annual gross income on the purchase of a car. If you find a car that gives you little-to-no problems, cherish it completely and forever. Buy a new car if you need to. But only if you can afford to using my 1/10th rule for car buying.
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Updated for 2021 and beyond