The following is a guest post from long-time reader, Samurai Marco. It’s nice to grow up rich. But here are his confessions as a spoiled rich kid would had everything at his disposal.
There are lots of rich kids nowadays since the stock market, real estate market, cyrptos and more have done so well. Further, there are plenty of rich kids who’ve started making money online.
Earning a lot of money early on and growing up with a lot of family wealth is nice. But there are some downsides.
What It’s Like Growing Up Rich
When Sam first mentioned that he was accepting guest posts from his readers, it made me wonder what, from my financial journey, I could share. After all, you’re already all a bunch of financial samurai’s yourselves, right? Is my journey interesting enough? At 43 years old, have I made enough mistakes?
I grew up a spoiled rich kid in Cupertino, California, about an hour south of San Francisco. My father was a one of those, and I hate to use this term, “Serial entrepreneurs.” He started a lot of technology companies, a couple went public, some were acquired and, of course, a few failed.
I remember my Dad, back in the early 80’s, bringing home the first prototypes of the Macintosh and Compaq computers and even the first cell phones.
His summer parties were filled with the “who’s who” of Silicon Valley. I remember, in particular, one Christmas party in 1997, Gil Amelio and Steve Jobs made the deal for Apple to buy NEXT that night at my Dad’s house.
The Forbes reporter, who was there, leaked it the next day I’ve gone flying with my Dad and Larry Ellison. I’ve talked stocks in the swimming pool with Eric Schmidt. So yes, I was surrounded by a lot of money and power and got a lot of attention for being my father’s child.
To say I grew up spoiled really is an understatement It’s taken me a long time to realize how “out of touch” my reality was back then. We flew first class to Italy every summer, sometimes twice a year, to visit family. We lived in a big house with a swimming pool in a “safe” neighborhood. My parents bought us whatever we wanted.
Confessions Of A Spoiled Rich Kid
My first car was a brand new convertible BMW and I was just seventeen years old. We were members of the tennis club and I took as many lessons as I wanted, whenever I wanted. By the time I was 21, I had a pilot’s license and my own single engine airplane stationed at Santa Ana airport.
My dad paid for everything, all my housing and education including a BA in Sociology from UC Irvine and an MBA from Santa Clara University. I never worked in college and, in fact, my dad was giving me a hefty monthly allowance, for as long as I can remember, even after college.
When I left for college in 1988, it was a reality blow. Growing up in a rich kid in Silicon Valley, I realized that not everyone was living as comfortably as I was.
People were talking about “debt” and having to “work” one or two jobs, while they were in school. I could not believe that people, in addition to studying for classes and preparing for exams, had to work too?! What kind of life was this!?
My parents were divorced by now. My dad was on his third major company that would add even more millions to his treasure chest. So I did what a rich spoiled college kid does when in college. . . .PARTY!!!
I made friends, joined a fraternity, flew around in my plane, drove around in my BMW, experimented with alcohol and drugs and really just had a blast. I got my BA in four years graduating with a 3.35. Not bad for a spoiled rich kid, huh?
Working On Life Instead Of On Work
My first two years out of college had nothing to do with working. In fact, I had never really planned to actually work. Instead, I lived in Lake Tahoe for a year in my parent’s house, skiing and studying classical guitar. The second year I backpacked through Europe with a girlfriend.
I bet you’re asking, “Your parents just let you do this?” and the answer is yes, I could pretty much do whatever I wanted. Maybe they didn’t know any better or it was their way of showing me love. I really don’t know. Anyway, at the time it was fine with me and yet, looking back, confusing as hell.
In 1994, after studying music in Tahoe and traveling, I moved into my dad’s mansion in Los Gatos and started my MBA. I lived there, rent free, in the maid’s quarters and was paid a fat allowance. I ended up living here for about five years, getting my MBA and eventually getting a job, through a friend of my Dad’s, at a tech PR firm in Redwood City.
In 1995, I took control of my trust fund. I had no idea what to do with the modest amount of money, as my only experience had been spending it! Eventually, through the advice of another family member, I started investing in stocks like AOL, Dell and Microsoft.
By April of 2000, five years later, the original amount had multiplied by almost 15 times! The technology bull run had made me a millionaire on paper! About a month later, that same family member told me the markets were getting sketchy and too volatile and advised me to sell.
Sound familiar? I hesitated and eventually followed his advice and sold everything. I took some of the money and bought the condo I still own in San Francisco.
A year later the dot com crash happened and I was the only one my age I knew, other than my brother, with any money. I was thrilled, totally confused, and didn’t know what to do with my life. But I fell into a bit of a depression. I was totally burned out.
As a result, I quit my PR job. Then I left my girlfriend and for the next couple years I was just hanging around SF going to therapy, reading self help books, practicing guitar, playing tennis, and spending time with my brother and his family.
I felt unworthy of the money and the extravagant lifestyle I had been living for the past several years.
How Life Is Going Now
Fast forward to today, and not that much has changed. I’m still bouncing around! I spent the rest of my thirties and early forties trying to figure out what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be.
I’ve been experimenting, working for a few years as a tennis instructor and musician for Club Med, almost four years as a live music venue owner in San Francisco, again in tech PR in in Los Angeles, and, most recently, as a restaurant owner in the Dominican Republic.
Would I have ended up like this if I had been raised differently with stricter parents? Probably not and, frankly, we’ll never know, so who cares?! Today, I try to view work more as a form of play. Looking for things that are challenging and push me toward my higher self. Maybe it’s been easier because there’s always been money around. Maybe it’s my personality. Probably a bit of both.
Even so, my forties have been a big slap in the face.
All of a sudden you’re not really “young” anymore. You can still occasionally act like an idiot, even though people expect a certain level of maturity from you. This has been hard for me. My whole life, I’ve been able to do whatever I want. Turn on a dime and go in any direction. I’m still trying!
As of today, I’m living in Montreal with my lovely and loving girlfriend of three years, in the process of selling a Punta Cana condo I bought in early 2013, trying to sell a Punta Cana restaurant I bought in late 2013, looking for some kind of stable work, and choosing to have gratitude for how this crazy journey that keeps unfolding before me.
What keeps making me want to work, Sam asks? Why do I still have some ambition, even though I could probably get by, fairly comfortably, without ever having a job again?
I’m not sure what it is. Sometimes I think I have too much energy for my own good and just like staying busy. Maybe I’m trying to outdo my Dad?
I’ve always seen my personal life and business as two sides of the same coin, so whatever I’m doing, if there’s an opportunity to make a buck and secure my future that much more, why not? It’s also nice to know that I can leave some money and assets behind to the people and causes I love.
Lessons I’ve Learned About Money Growing Up As A Spoiled Rich Kid
1) Get therapy quick!
Seriously, if you’re a narcissist, as I was and still am a bit, fix that as soon as possible. As soon as I “let go” and forgave my past, especially issues with my parents not being there as much as I would have liked them to be, opportunities stared knocking again.
If you’re stuck in a “poor me” attitude, whether you’re poor or a billionaire, you’re going to be unhappy and unlucky. I went through a lot of therapy, read a lot of psychology and self help books and began writing daily in a journal. This has saved my life, for sure.
2) Spoil your kids with love, not money.
I don’t know if it was a generation thing or just my particular experience. For most of my life, I thought that money grew on trees and I could have as much as I wanted whenever I wanted. I had to read and learn so many things for myself.
Parents, please teach your kids the value of money and work and, please, place love and nurturing ahead of money. Lead by example by being loving and present with your kids. If you set aside a trust fund, make sure they don’t get it until they are in their 30’s or later. In fact, maybe skip the trust fund!
3) Take a break!
Burn out is normal and, if you don’t take breaks, you will probably not succeed at anything. For some of us, a weekend is enough of a break. For me, sometimes I need a month or a year to let things sink in and start on a new path. Know yourself, your situation, and the amount of time you need before your next big burst of energy.
4) Continuously manage your relationships.
Geez, this one is so cliche and so important. Money comes from people, not from some robot cash dispenser. If you have a network of people you trust and trust you and your skills, you will be OK. If you go at it alone for too long, you’re going to be in trouble down the road.
I’m a bit in this situation right now, as I’ve moved around so much, it’s been hard to nurture relationships, both professional and personal. So, please big shot VC … get back to me!
5) Try not to look back.
You have to believe that there is exponentially more opportunity in the present moment than there ever has been in your past. Even those big moments you think you missed. . that’s your mind playing tricks on you. Your past, like the present, really is an illusion.
Even this post, it’s based on images from my past that I’m choosing to remember and write about. Take a snap shot of your financial situation right now and see if you can make some decisions without letting the past OR the future blind you. I struggle with this every day.
Sam wrote a great post making the case how wealthy parents shouldn’t worry about spoiling their adult children. The reason why is because because by the time wealthy parents start their decumulation phase, their adult children will already be set in their ways. It makes sense to me!
6) Be OK with starting over.
Could I have had done better financially considering my background, early start and education? Hell yes! You can always have done better. That kind of thinking is a waste of time and energy. There’s always a chance to start again. Remember, the present moment is always 100% pure potential and you can make a decision at any moment that can turn your world around.
Related: How To Accept Help From Your Parents Without Feeling Like A Deadbeat Loser
My Thoughts On Being A Spoiled Rich Kid
I want to thank Marcos for sharing his thoughts on growing up as a spoiled rich kid. This post was originally published in 2014, three years before my first kid was born.
As a father of two children today, I certainly do not want to spoil my kids. I want to teach them about the value of money, hard work, and developing a strong work ethic. It may be better to raise our children in discomfort than in an environment of luxury.
I see my neighbor’s kids all living at home with them as 30-40 year old adults. It’s really sad. The reason why they are still living at home is because their parents gave them everything growing up! We parents need to educate our children about the importance of work, saving, and investing at a young age. Then we’ve got to demonstrate what we preach.
When you have everything as a kid, your motivation naturally wanes. It’s worth trying to make your kids millionaire by 20, provided they work for their money.
During their time working, it’s great to teach your kids about investing and compound returns. The last thing I want to do is just give my kids money!
I promise I will always work hard and practice what I preach. As a result, my children will see that despite our wealth, dad and mom still work hard every day. We will travel to other countries to see how other people live. I will teach my children Mandarin and Japanese to provide new perspectives.
At the end of the day, I just want my kids to find purpose, love, and happiness.
For more nuanced personal finance content, join 50,000+ others and sign up for the free Financial Samurai newsletter. Confessions of a spoiled rich kid is a FS original post.
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The best thing you can do as a rich kid is to get rich yourself. Save aggressively, invest wisely, work on side hustles, land a great job, and build as much passive income as possible.
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You know, just because you’re not rich doesn’t mean you can’t look rich. For example, if you want a shiny new BMW X5, why not just buy a used one a few years old? If it’s it great shape most people will think it’s new anyway! The link is a couple examples that I am already considering and so should you if you are on a budget but feel the need to impress.
You know, just because you’re not rich doesn’t mean you can’t look rich.
Those people are the worst.
For example, if you want a shiny new BMW X5, why not just buy a used one a few years old?
Because maintenance on those things is horrific-poorly made, and really expensive parts.
This was such a great article describing the difference between the social classes being 22 I am just graduating college and love using these sites to focus on building wealth for my future never getting married want to travel the world.Hey Marco I know this article is old but I am writing a paper I would love some insight on how school as for you I am writing about cost of education over the years and how it changes from different classes of people let me know if you see this thanks have a great day.
Hey there – Thank you for the comment. May I kindly revise one of your quotes below?
YOUR QUOTE:
“When it comes to Business and even life in certain regards, DONT EVER TRUST PEOPLE like the OP (original poster), I wouldn’t take anything this guy says seriously and I mean that 100%, just ignore them they don’t count and don’t *ever* feel bad for them.”
WHAT I WISH:
“When it comes to Business and even life in certain regards, CONSIDER TRUSTING PEOPLE like the OP, I would seriously focus on the positive lessons in anyone’s experience and I mean that 100%, just enjoy their unique perspective, they count just like anyone else and, what the heck, wish them the best!”
Wishing you all the best :)
Daddy issues. that’s what it really comes down to no amount of money can replace a father’s presence in his children’s lives and the necessary development that happens Marco sounds like he has daddy issues like he is spending his life trying to find himself and spoil himself because he feels like he doesn’t belong anywhere and it feels negative everywhere this is pretty common with people grew up without a father present every day happen to me too
Daddy issues, probably true in some ways. Hard to say exactly why anyone turns out the way they do with so many genetic and environmental factors. We’re constantly changing and I already feel a lot different today than the person I was when I wrote that article.
wow-
as a child of a single working parent with multiple siblings, I left home at 17 and when I could I became a medic with the Marines and went to Iraq in 2005 and 2006, seeing young poor kids like me getting killed for a rich mans war.
When I got out I went back to farming and then worked every winter as a mountain guide in Colorado.
My time in the service put me through college and I actually gave a shit so I got a good job when I got out and now I’m putting together my own business and making more money than I thought I would.
You’re story is disgusting. Your lesson is ‘don’t look back’? You need to look back, you need to realize regret. With what you’ve been given you could have really had an effect on the world.
What a worthless life- I feel completely justified judging you. Not that you just wasted all that money, but that you made the excuse to actually do nothing with your life for other people, you never challenged yourself- your biggest priority was always your immediate happiness, i.e. pilots license, constant vacation, etc.
I hope you’re not actually proud of anything you’ve accomplished. The only way you’ve grown up is that you’re parents don’t wipe your butt anymore, other than that you seem to have the maturity of a 5 year old. “I want it now!”
Modest trustfund? you’re a joke. quit the therapy, give away 98% of your money to a well researched charity, and get a real frigging job kid.
Hmm, I’d what to get from this being a veteran on the the poorer side of the spectrum.
Seems like you earned multiple degrees without any remorse or thought of maybe it’s not the right career path for yourself, for the only reason that you could just do it.
I don’t know how that feels seeing as I could not pay for education until I resigned from the military and to which I only have 3years worth of education.
Then you tell how you have an emptiness because you feel you should be doing more with your life. But this is not just something that rich spoiled kids or adults have. It is something that sums up everyone.
On the bright side you have been able to live off your parents and travel or obtain expensive licenses or activities plus a trust fund.
I had to buy my first car which I still have, didn’t know what a trust fund was until I was 21.
You were able work all different kinds of jobs even though you did not need to work, it’s comembral to a certain degree for yourself…
But you probably prevented others from a Carreer they actually needed.
Ive been out of the military for a year now and still am having a tough time finding a stable job to where I can take care of my family.
And still continue education without using loans.
Ya your life was tough… not really if at all.
And who gets to take a month a year off from everything? I agree with breaks but come on. People have bills. The everyday person can not just work for amusement, but because they have to.
Did you even know there is something as sad as the working poor. People who work jobs who can’t make enough money to get out of debt or feed themselves.
Should have something on this article before reading it that says if your from the .1% of wealthy people in the world read this.
Hi Seechat – Thanks for the comment. You say my story is disgusting and I respect your opinion. Anyone will read any story and have different opinions based on their own experience and background. In my case, your experience and background qualifies me as “disgusting.” I find that interesting, as many people also found my story “inspiring.” To me, my story is neither disgusting or inspiring. It’s just a story. A recollection of my past and if I were to tell it again today, I’m sure it would be different than the post I wrote about a year ago. Yes, I’ve lived a strange, unconventional and perhaps “disgusting” life and, like anyone, I’ve done the best I can with the cards I got dealt. For me, focusing on enjoying myself and having as many experiences as possible was, and in many ways still is, my way of making sense of the world.
You’re from a military background which honors duty, responsibility, rules, loyalty and working hard and I respect that. Probably could have used more of that growing up. Those of you who say I wasted some of my potential and some money are absolutely right, I did. My question is What would you have me do? Curl up in a corner, loathing myself and living in constant regret of my past? I too am living my life, changing, growing and expanding my possibilities. I didn’t write this for the .1% or the 99%. I wrote this because I like to write and share my thoughts and experiences with the world. Is there something wrong with that? Believe me, there are weirder more “disgusting” stories out there than mine. One of my values is to accept other people, even when they are different from me, physically, sexually, culturally and financially. To feel justified judging anyone for anything seems a very dangerous place to be in your heart. I wish you the best.
Dear Marco, I am so very grateful for your gift of writing. Like your parents, though not divorced, we chose to raise our children in a similar way. Actually there are so many children of the Baby Boomer Gen who have. Our adult children have struggled, blame us at times but also now in their 30’s (still struggling but growing like you) see how fortunate they are. Like you they have kind hearts, live life in a bit of confusion and have made their mistakes. You have many talents and experiences but best of all you are kind and loving. This is probably what your parents wanted. You are correct, you are a Writer! Sensitive, gentle and a person who sees the good in the world you have messages to tell. The best things have nothing to do with money but with purpose and passion! Be kind to yourself, be grateful and be still. It’s all going to be fine. This is life, embrace it all! You are a wonderful person! Hang in! Good Luck!
Hey I’m so glad you wrote this! It gets pretty lonely when someone grows up the way you did, like myself, and not really have any support or guidance..mainly because few can relate.
Thanks Alicia. Sounds like you grew up around money as well. What was your experience like? What are you doing these days?
Thank you June. I appreciate your kind words.
First off, a 3.35 in sociology is not very good. It is very, very substandard. The only 3.35 in college that is acceptable is in an engineering major.
Your school was ok but considering your advantages in life also very disappointing.
I concur with the previous poster; you’ve really not amounted to much of anything. Alcohol, drug use, and partying in college…right. What about volunteering at the soup kitchen, doing research, or inventing things?
Of course I’m just a dumb kid that went to a much higher ranked school than you, being raised without a parent due to death, another sibling lost due to traumatic circumstances, got a 4.0 (barely) at a top HS, became a physician, never used drugs or alcohol, and bring honor to my family.
HonestJerk – I seriously doubt that you are a dumb kid. Sounds like you went through a lot of challenges and pain growing up and have some repressed anger you need to let go. I wish you the best.
Hey Marco,
Your post is surprisingly interesting, just because we are on totally opposite ends of the spectrum. I often try to understand the point of views a lot of people similar to you have because they are intriguing.
Let me tell you a bit about myself:
Despite the fact that I came from a low-income home, eating ramen noodles and drinking tap water,
I am in college now. and thankfully, I am pretty caught up… I’m working my ass off to become a doctor…caring and serving others is my dream…the sense of happiness I got from encouraging an illiterate patient to learn how to use the computer to go for that desk job she always dreamed of…to making fun of myself to a visitor of how embarrassing it is that I kept getting lost when directing him to his daughter that just got out of surgery, just to relieve his stress (his daughter was beaten) is what I strive to do through medicine.
but it seems that all odds are against me to make it happen. I’m not even sure I can even imagine some of the luxuries you described in your post if they are not similar to what I see on television. Flying to Italy is a dream I will soon make happen while on a studying abroad opportunity that I am working on funding. :)
What led me to this post was actually an encounter I had as a new volunteer at a local hospital this morning.
I frequently got asked why I was volunteering and if it was for a credit. A lot of the volunteers are old with nothing to do – so they like to volunteer and all. But surprisingly I met a young boy my age who was also working to be a doctor. He had similar experiences as you (I wouldn’t say to your extent but you get the point..). Just by conversation I can tell everything came easy for him. His grandmother looks for and applies for all of his scholarships to pay off his tuition while he gives her essays he’d like her to include, his mother owns a huge company that refurbishes/renovates buildings, his uncle is the chief of surgery at a hospital I one day dream of working at, and so on… This blew my mind because I search 2+ hours a day and come up with nothing for scholarships to ensure my place to live and food to eat, my family is poor so it’s extremely hard for me to network (I have to pretty much chase down every employer for an opportunity hahaha), and not to mention, I’m crazy in debt already…
You can imagine all he really has left to do though is study and apply to medical school. Which is a bit aggravating but…
The worst part is that he is the most non genuine person I’ve ever met as far as caring about the needs of others…which is contradicting to the profession he wants. But one thing is for sure-he will definitely reach his goals…But it hurts to think about my passion of relieving the pain of others may not be fulfilled through the practice of medicine, just because I am poor with many obstacles to face, despite my amazing ability to think.
I appreciate being able to read your confessions, it was really insightful and I wish more people rose and spoke up about their life styles. I can imagine you may have received hate from those who aren’t so lucky with money but I’ve wanted to learn more through actual contact with those like you. There’s a free flowing, positive, life-loving nature that I appreciate within people of higher classes. Most of all, I’ve always wanted a mentor of higher class…I feel like you are one of many who’s side I have yet to learn from. :)
if you ever want something to do, give back, not through charities, but through one on one relationships.. The feeling of gratitude a person feels when receiving opportunity because of you will damn near make you cry. & That might be where your passion lies.
-Signed, Yerdanos, 20 yrs old.
I’m sorry this was so long, but hopefully it was an interesting read!
Would you be willing to help me achieve my dreams?
Hi Yerdanos – Thank you for reaching out. Your post was very inspiring. Do you have an email I can reach you at?
Marco
My email is Yerdanos_a@yahoo.com
Be sure to copy and paste it! My name is easily misspelled…
:)
Wow…That was a DEEP story. Thanks for sharing. I actually found this site because I wanted to search for elite kids of San Francisco and maybe find things in the City that I would be able to have my kids experience. It’s really rare to be brought up in such luxury.
I had my time in my early 20s when I felt I had so much money, I just didn’t know what to do with it. I treated friends out, parents out, Myself out, bought all the material things I wanted and gave to my parents as well but still felt a sense of emptiness…
Later, I lost it ALL…and I really just took it all for granted.
Fast Forward…I started over again and started saving money…I felt I was doing everything right—-volunteering, had a great steady job, started traveling, basically what I thought was success…Modesty aside, It also was not hard for me to get dates.
I didn’t know what I was doing wrong or why I was feeling empty STILL…
This may sound so CLICHE….So I did something that I would have not thought I’d do….’
I PRAYED for God to come into my life and mind you—I usually base everything on logic and science…But I decided one day, Let me dedicate myself and read the bible just for a month (just myself in the privacy of my own room) and in return maybe I’ll find what it is that every God believing person seemed to find—Happiness.
I KID YOU NOT….In one month—So much has happened that changed my life in positive ways…I was also and still am a reader of inspirational and self help books, but nothing has changed my life until God came into it.
Maybe the same can be done for you.
Thank you for the inspiring message Ann. Happy to hear that you have found happiness.
I’m 25 and in a similar boat…wealthy but can’t keep a long-term project. A lot of bouncing around could reflect borderline ADHD. Since your dad was a serial entrepreneur, you may have inherited this ADHD trait. Google “Explorer’s gene.” Essentially our brains have to move on to something new (innovation) or else we get bored. The downside is we can’t hold down one project. I have found satisfaction in becoming a full-time investor…love to find new companies to invest in. Finally, you need to find your natural talents at an organization like JOCRF. If you use all your natural-born talents, you are more likely to enjoy whatever project you partake.
Hi Jay – thanks for the comment. I agree with you that it’s all about finding and using our natural born talents. I like to call these our “gifts” and we all have them. It’s part of being human. Lately, I’ve been exploring my gifts via a life coach and I’m discovering some amazing things. My calling is to be open and free and to share my creativity with the world. You’re right about my “explorer” tendencies, as that theme continuously comes up as well. Good for you that you’ve found your calling through investing. Any hot tips!? I have a company I’m preparing to present to the angel community. Let me know if you’re interested. Sam, you too!
Hey Samurai Marco,
I think I can help you find answers about life. Also I got questions for you about culture.
hit me up. Like most people said above, nice post. I agree burn outs are normal, people need to know this. Also, as an adult having to limit our silly you can be can be a bit annoying, but its needed to properly parent children and conduct business.
correction: “Also, as an adult having to limit our silliness can be a bit annoying, but its need to properly parent children and conduct business.”
Thanks for the comment. What’s your question about culture?
I love this idea that ‘burn-outs are acceptable’- this is of course unless you are in the majority of the population that can’t burn out for a week at a time and take off work- or if you are the single mom who’s worked her way up at 7-11 and after 15 years she’s managing the store for $15 an hour- when she burns out rent doesn’t get paid.
I suppose this advice is only for rich people, specifically those born rich. I’ve known a few self made millionaires, they were born poor and they have all worked harder than anyone in the company, even though they’ve owned it
maybe this should be more clear that the article focuses on advice for the .01% of the population born into enough wealth to live forever as ten year-olds? Congrats- you started a restaurant! that’s a lot like a lemonade stand, right?
Hi thanks for the comment. How do you think your life would have been different if you had grown up with a lot of money around you?
I grew up in a home which struggled a lot financially. I would give anything to have been born rich. You’re very lucky.
Wow, you nerds think 45,000 yearly income is chump change huh? Whoa, stop the presses. I’m over 50, worked my entire life BY CHOICE, had many good careers in different areas and loved every job I ever had. I never made over 100,000 annual income, but I had something money can’t buy, true friends, a supportive and loving family, true happiness and faith and I’ve always loved people and life and always will. Here’s the deal kiddies, one can and does live WELL on 45,000 annual income, you just gotta do it right. Oh and please remember in the 21st century, we don’t all need huge homes either. Big spaces are not where its at, it’s being HAPPY with the space you have and making the most of it. Peace out people. Universal love for our planet and all the life on it is where it’s at -go EARN that with money, but that’s not how that works either. Money is superficial and so are many of you. I feel sorry for some of you people too. Get your head and your spirituality in check before you leave this world.
Don’t think wanting to earn more is a bad thing.
If you have a choice, why not shoot for a higher income than a lower income?
I’ve found only the poor or super rich say money doesn’t buy happiness. Funny isn’t it?
If I had a choice (which I do), I’d shoot for more personal/professional satisfaction rather than focussing on the income (assuming I have the essentials covered – being from the south west of England, I could easily live well on £1500/mo, not just covering the essentials but also having a few luxuries). Being happy with what you have eliminates “lust for more”. With that, it’s much easier to focus on getting one’s head and spirituality right.
Great story Marco. Although my Dad wasn’t as well off and I had fewer toys, it feels very familiar to me. I had a private school life followed by years at college partying while driving a company car and having a salary by Dad’s company. Today I wrestle with several decisions I wish I made – law school, career – and strive to move on. Currently I am also re-starting and this article was a great reality check and therapeutic.
PS – welcome to Canada
Thanks Fatboy! Canada is awesome!
I know this sounds cliche, but I think this post helps reiterate the notion that true fulfillment comes from having less, not more. When you have to earn every break, or bonus, or opportunity, you wind up looking forward with relish to whatever you are treating yourself to. The smallest things can bring the greatest joy if your life is well balanced. From the middle class point of view, that ten days you spend in Paris after three years of saving up is magic, as opposed to just ordinary if you can go whenever you want. Paying for flying lessons after saving for five years is a much grander reward than being able to take lessons because you have an itch and follow it up with owning your own airplane. I have nothing against wealth or the so-called one percent – these riches are what keep us ambitious and without ambition our society dies. But having unobstructed access to whatever you want will reduce your life to trivialities. Conflict and challenge are essential to bring the stark relief we need to experience joy and contentment.
Marco, Thank you for such an insightful and honest post!. I appreciate your journey and your willingness to share with us your life’s lessons. Your experience was certainly not my experience, but I can relate to the points about trying to find yourself and your purpose upon this Earth. In this society of dog eat dog type behaviors, materialism and greed; it’s often a challenge to stay focused enough to carve out your own little niche/path. I struggle with this daily, as well as, forgiving myself for past mistakes ( financial & otherwise) so it helps to see there are others out there who can relate.. Keep your head up, Do You & let the haters do what they do best…HATE ( lol) & continue your evolution. Be Blessed!
Hi Marco,
thanks very much for your post. It was very instructive and illuminating. Also welcome in our nice city of Montreal from a lifelong MTLer. I had my son’s 4th birthday this week-end and because of a recent divorce we only had his cousin come over and played in a park and sang him happy birthday and ate cake. That’s compared to the all out party of the last two years. Now I’m feeling ok about doing it low key like that. Thanks to you.
Cheers
Its hard to find a truthfully personal post like this one. The story is a bit on the sad side, but the ending points really express great advice for anyone facing life issues. I feel many people are struggling with, a finding yourself mentality now a days. I believe our society plays a role in this, and our ability to learn or grow as well. Thanks for the story Marco best of luck.
I love your post for your honesty. I grew up in a $45k household with a single mom trying to feed three kids and make ends meet. She literally never had any money in the bank when we were children. For me and my siblings, the age we were when our parents divorced also had a lasting impact on us, as our different personal natures did. How my mom made little luxuries and family traditions so special to us, and celebrated our childhoods, also had a lasting impact on us. How much money we didn’t have growing up was actually pretty irrelevant. We never talk about growing up poor or think of our lives or childhoods in that way because she made sure that we never wanted for anything. She is a super frugal miracle worker. I have two degrees because of a fierce expectation she set on me around the importance of getting an education, especially as a woman (she has no formal education). I’m working on getting my financial head on straight but I think it’s connected more to my nature and susceptibility to our consumerist culture…I struggle to make the daily sacrifices that she made. Of course money is important, but it you stripped that out of your story, as you pointed out in the end, it’s all of the other things that matter more. Thank you for sharing your story.
Wow, first world problem. :) It sounds like you’re doing quite well and are happy with life in general so that’s great. It’s good to know the rich have their struggles too.
Anyway, thanks for sharing your story. Everyone has to find their own happiness. It’s not easy for rich people either. Money makes things easier, but happiness is still elusive and you need to work at it.
Thanks Joe. Yes, it’s true that everyone has their struggles, regardless of their financial situation. If you don’t have money, you’re trying to get some. If you have money, you’re trying to figure out what to do with it. Either way, it seems we all tend to get a bit too caught up in it. I was happy to see your comment, as I really enjoy reading your blog.
Marco are you still in Montreal? I would like to connect with you re a possible opportunity in your field of expertise – tech PR. Someone had asked me to keep an eye out for senior folks in Montreal. Are you up for a call?
Why work? A sense of purpose. I remember thinking those multimillion Nigerian scam emails were actually true but didn’t reply. Now got that it was a scam. Even though it was in my mind real I said I have to work I can’t just take the easy way out, would be boring, and deadly. Was making a $4.25 an hour at that point cleaning bathrooms. Doing a bit better now 20 years later.
After reading the comments to this post, I felt like I had read a different story. This guy is a rich kid by birth. His narcissistic tendencies are seeking approval of others by posting about his new found love of tough work such as selling a condo and restaurant he bought with trust fund money. He still is frat boy, albeit with a tenuous grasp of the reality that for most people it is just plain hard to pay for college, while he had a plane and played hard his whole life.
I hate rich kids. No, that’s not right. I hate poor kids. No, that’s not it either. What I really hate is ignorant adults. No, I try to love people even if I don’t like them or feel sorry for their limitations. Does a rich kid any more elect to be rich, than a poor kid elects to be poor? Do those herein who’ve expressed not being able to relate to the “rich” have a patent on the inability to relate to those they’ve never been alike. Those who have written on this post as “normal” or “poor” kids, are all considered arrogant, wealthy Americans by the majority in this world. How does that feel? Can we change it? Would you give up what you have? I’d love to know your thoughts considering your certainty about so much. Please share something thoughtful. Just not liking someone unlike yourself. Isn’t that being spoiled in and of itself, too? Love and listen – genuinely. Then, we will have something to add to the world. Be able to listen, it is how we all learn about those unlike ourselves and avoid repeating history. Love, me
Hi Marco,
Thanks for sharing your story.
You mentioned that you have a brother, I wonder if your brother went through the same thing as you? I asked because I wonder if own personality has anything to do with the things you do in life, even if brought up the same way.
Rich or poor, everyone has their own struggles in life.
Hi Jay – This is a good question and my brother and I have talked about it. We definitely ended up living different lives. He met his current wife when he was fifteen and is now married with two amazing children, with a solid job, living in Marin in a nice home. The turmoil of my parent’s divorce when we were very young affected us differently. In a way, it caused him to settle down with one person very early in his life. It had the opposite effect on me, where I’ve been single almost my whole life, bouncing around, and just recently have gotten into a long term relationship. As for the money part, we’re also very different. I think I ended up more conservative than him. He’s always been financially very savvy and amazing with numbers.
Sam, I must say I’m disappointed in this choice of article. It seems that you just posted it with no other purpose than to be inflammatory and sensationalist.
I’m open to new perspectives Jason. And id love to have yours too on money. You think you can share an article about your learnings with me so I can publish here?
This is one of the best ways to get through disappointment. To show others how things are supposed to be with your writing.
I really don’t understand these confessions and never will. Kudos of course for realizing whatever you realized but if I had kids and family and was a millionaire-billionaire, I wouldn’t teach them about any of that. What’s the point? Killing yourself by barely making ends meet? What the hell is the value of money anyways? Its all in your mind and in fact it has no value so there is nothing really to teach. If you have millions or billions, just spend it all away! You only live once, life is futile anyways and its a pointless zero-sum game.
Your kids would do whatever they want with the money you left them (as much as possible, and not the scraps billionaires are planning to leave their progeny) and all this talk about love, social skills, flexibility, bla bla is just that – TALK. Verbal diarrhea that has nothing to do with the real world.
Over the billions of years life had been on this little planet, we had absolutely ZERO effect on anything in the universe so what hubris it is to assume that suddenly all of these microscopic life journeys on a little rock that formed accidentally from star-dust would in any way matter at all whether they’re poor or rich.
If you’re extremely wealthy, just spend it all and let your kids enjoy life to the max without having to work a single day for it. What is work after all? Its slavery and how is slavery perpetuated? Daily through births and capitalism.
Stop bringing kids into this mad world. Let’s just end the human race and this futile pursuit of greed, power and syrupy confessions. No offence.
Wow, really? You sound like you have no hope on humanity.
cheer up, and look at things in a positive way, instead of everything doom and gloom.
Thanks for writing this up and sharing your experience. Sounds like you had a great time, and decided to make some different choices. Thank goodness your mentor stepped in and provided some critical guidance at the right time. (that was your “Moonlight Graham moment). We all can look back a few times and wished we had not wasted valuable time on trivial things. I sure can’t fathom the thought of wasting 40 years of my life as in your case.
You have an unfinished life and plenty of time to create a lasting legacy and contribution through other people that cash cannot fund. Cash and toys are commodities, Time on this planet is not.
I enjoyed reading your story. How fascinating how life unfolds in so many different ways. I can imagine wishing you could have spent more time with your parents growing up. Very successful business people tend to work a lot of hours and get absorbed into projects that require a lot of focus.
But I think everyone wishes things were different in their childhood, nothing can ever be perfect. And what’s more important is focusing on now, letting go of “what ifs” and grudges, and making the most of our lives.
Thanks for sharing your story with us!
You bought a restaurant in late 2013 and in mid 2014 you’re trying to sell it? Why not try to make it work?
You mentioned “maybe you were trying to out-do your dad” but it seems like you don’t stick to something long enough to find success in it. Obviously I don’t know anything more than what you’ve shared, it sounds like your dad was very, very productive but may he was focused on the business thing.
Do you think if you didn’t have the money you’d be more prone to focus in on on or a few things or would you still have the tendency to go whatever way the wind was blowing you?
If I had the kind of money you seem to have and was single I’d be a flight risk. I’d just roam around the world, modestly, almost backpacking. To me that would be ultimate freedom…and having a my pretty lady with me would make it paradise every day.
Sounds like you’ve had a fun life, cheers to making it a long one…for all of us!
Very interesting read and nice to hear the perspective coming from a privileged background. My first reaction is that we would have nothing in common. On the other hand, you have humbled yourself in your writing that I think we could have a meaningful conversation. I’d love to know if you have any plans for philanthropy in the future.