I’ve come up with a great business idea in the worst sector in the world. No sector has had more bankruptcies than the airlines industries. That said, I’m undaunted because I know demand when I see it!
Introducing Samurai Airlines, where babies pay more and the person in the middle seat gets both armrests!
The inspiration for my new company comes from years of frustrated flying. I somehow always win the lottery by getting the middle seat next to bathroom with a baby behind and two giants to my left and right. Despite all my trips and “Premier Status” on a number of airlines, I’m still treated like donkey food. As a result, I’d like to propose the following benefits of Samurai Air:
* Baby Section. The last three rows of the airplane will consist of the Baby Section. Parents will have their own area to bring as many crying babies aboard. No longer will a parent feel guilty disturbing their neighbor’s sleep because the section will have a sound proof glass enclosure! Other customers will never have to worry about winning the baby lottery before boarding again. The concept will be so revolutionary that demand will absolutely soar as passengers seek a more relaxing way to fly.
* Middle Seats Rock! Middle seats and not aisle or window seats will be the most coveted seats on Sam Air. A middle seat passenger gets both armrests guaranteed, an inch wider seat, and a built in massage chair! Along with these amenities, all in-flight movies are free and you get priority baggage space in the bins up top. What’s more is that you never have to worry about passenger 22B snaking your 1oA storage!
* Extra Big Section. The three rows ahead of the last three rows for babies will be reserved for larger folks. The seat sizes will be the same as all other passengers and all big customers get to sit next to each other! Can you imagine how awesome it would be to see three enormous dudes or dudettes sitting in a row trying to squeeze in? They’d learn to understand how others feels when they overflow into their space. Understanding will lead to greater harmony in the world as well as healthier people. Given everything is rational, those who are overweight will hate to be stuck squished with other overweight people and work out like a contestant on “The Biggest Loser” to get a middle seat!
* On-time Guarantee. For every 1 minute late for departure or arrival, the passenger will get $1 dollar credit used towards their next flight. Two hours late, $120 credit for you! The credit program will create sticky customers, as well as a strong incentive for airlines to be on-time.
Samurai Airlines will give passengers their freedom back. We will reward those who comply with the rules and make the world a better place through the creation of more seating sections. We plan on purchasing 5 Boeing 787s to start and fly transcontinental. Our initial fund raising is $1 billion dollars for aircraft purchasing, licensing, fuel, and staff. We will dominate the airline industry with our innovative programs and friendly service. If you would like to invest, please comment below and provide any feedback.
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