You’re Rejected! How I Use Rejection To Motivate Me Every Single Day
Unless you’re perfect, there will be times when things don’t go your way. You’re last to be picked in PE class, Yale says, “thank you, but no thank you”, and your girlfriend/boyfriend dumps you for another man/woman. Do you start sulking? Or do you get up, get angry, and prove to yourself you’re worth it?
Some people are so afraid of rejection, they never put themselves out there. They reject themselves before even giving others a chance!
Lame Excuses:
“Why would this school accept me?”
“Why would she want to talk to me?”
“I don’t deserve a raise so I’ll never ask.”
“I’m not good enough to work for this firm, so I won’t bother applying.”
“What if everybody thinks what I say is stupid?”
“My writing is horrible, why would anybody want to read anything of mine?”
These types of thoughts crush dreams, lead to low-self esteem and mediocrity.
Change the way you view rejection with these 5 strategies:
1) Always ask yourself, “What is the worst that can happen?” On a scale of bad things, 10 being some terrorist attack and 1 being a puppy pooping on your carpet, getting rejected by a firm, girl, anonymous publisher is around a 3. It’s no big deal!
2) Success is a numbers game. When guys go out to bars, those who don’t care about rejection (point #1) usually succeed because they ask the most amount of women out as possible! If your chance of scoring is 10%, and you only ask 2 girls to have a drink with you, you’re going to have a snowfall’s chance in the Sahara of getting the girl’s number. You need to ask 10 girls to even have an opportunity for one to not think you’re a creep!
You may think your green marble has nothing to offer, but I bet if you put it up on Craigslist or Ebay there will be someone looking to buy it. The scale of these two sites is huge; you are maximizing your numbers game. It’s the same for finding a job. Make enough phone calls, ask enough people and attend enough networking functions and you will get there.
3) Put your rejections in plain site as a badge of honor and take some of them personally! I’ve got my college, work, and publisher rejection letters all taped up on my refrigerator and office wall for me and all to see. Six months ago, I approached some personal finance network asking if I could join and they told me to go away. Awesome! Every time I see the e-mail, it motivates me to write more and grow the Financial Samurai brand. I’ve asked a couple of the major PF writers for help before, and some have never bothered to reply back. Sweet!
The best rejection that keeps on giving is my college wait-list rejection. Being rejected from one of my target schools has given me 15 years of non-stop energy to prove their decision wrong. It’s a gift that keeps on giving! I must admit it’s an interesting scenario when I have to deal with interviewing candidates from this particular school. Honestly, it makes me absolutely giddy to watch their football team crash and burn this year!
4) Seek out rejection! Rejection is like adrenaline during a fight or flight scenario. You’ve heard about people lifting cars and doing miraculous things because of their body’s natural defense mechanism kicking in. Whenever you attempt something new, seek out somebody at the top of his or her game and get rejected. Turn your rejection into Popeye’s spinach and pound away. Benchmark yourself to them and work your butt off to prove them wrong.
I remember when I was in my mid-20’s, I was rejected from joining my senior colleagues on a client visit because they said, “it’d be too crowded.” What they really meant to say was I was too junior, inexperienced, and they didn’t believe I could hold my own. They may have been right, but I enjoyed taking their rejection to mean they were embarrassed of me. I used this rejection to work an extra 20 hours a week on my communication skills, while buttressing my knowledge of my particular product area so I would come across as the consummate professional. It worked, and I was promoted a year later.
5) Know that even the best get rejected. Michael Jordan got cut from his sophomore high school basketball team. President Obama went to Occidental for undergrad because he couldn’t get into any of the Ivy League schools. Sandra Lee from “semi-homemade” got rejected by all the TV execs before becoming ubiquitous in the food network space. Look at them now.
CONCLUSION
So I ask again, will you let rejection crush your spirits, or raise your determination? You need unwavering focus in order to succeed in a world full of talent. You have seen many examples where you know you can do better. Effort requires no skill. Go out there, get rejected, knowing that each time you do, your hunger grows until you finally succeed!
Readers, how do you deal with rejection? What are some of the things you use to get you all fired up to succeed?
Keigu,
Financial Samurai – “Slicing Through Money’s Mysteries”
Follow me on Twitter @FinancialSamurai and subscribe to our RSS feed!
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Great post! I think your point on asking yourself “What’s the worst that can happen?” is right on. I’ve used the same question to motivate me to do things I otherwise wouldn’t have done. Rejection isn’t a bad thing. If you’re not getting rejected regularly than you’re not pushing the envelope enough.
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Reject rejection! Keep trying, because persistence will make it’s own good luck,
John DeFlumeri Jr
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@Gen Y Investor
Thanks man. I like that, “if you’re not getting rejected regularly, than you’re not pushing the envelope enough.” I’ll have to remember that one. I got a match tonight, and am going out. Should a fertile ground for potential rejections!! FS
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If you can put a positive spin on it, then you will do fine. Sometimes you need to be open to criticism or rejection and learn from it to better yourself.
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Man, this site is GARBAGE, and the WordPress theme is terrible!
Haha, just kidding – unfortunately, you’re not getting any bulletin board material from me today. Great post – I need to get over fear of rejection and get on with life!
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Excellent.
Can’t say as I’ve look for rejection in the past….but now that you’ve planted the seed….I’m going out today and look for a way to get rejected…yes…..I’ll do it!!
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@Neal@wealthpilgrim
Awesome Neal! I look forward to hearing what a successful and famous writer like yourself could possibly get rejected at, at least in the PF world! :)
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@Jason @ MyMoneyMinute Haha, damn man, that’s harsh. You can blame the wordpress theme choice on my webdesigner… but gosh, yours looks eerily similar to mine! Hmmm, maybe I need a refund! j/k. At least I get a cool logo for my money. Can’t wait to get rejected at the bars tonight!
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Actually, having a puppy poop on my carpet ranks more like #2 because I don’t have Stainmaster carpeting… :-(
Good article! Or should I actually say it sucks? I don’t want you to get complacent! :-)
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admin Reply:
October 28th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Dar – Unless you’ve got a $10,000 Persian rug, no big deal! :)
Thanks for the compliment, although, I prefer you tear it to shreds. FS
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Wow! This post was one of the best original articles I’ve read in a while! Reading post like this should make us all realize that settling for status quo is the same as losing!
As for how I handle rejection, I don’t handle it as well as you describe that you do. But, deep down inside, I do try harder…
The think that gets me fired up, is teaching my son to be a more successful health person that I was by being a more successful health person myself. The desire to be financially independent one day also make me quicken my pace a bit.
Hmmm, once I get to work, I think I’ll print this out and post it on my cubicle wall.
thanks!
Thanks for the motivation!
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Samuari-san:
This is the crappiest site I have ever seen. Your writing is horrendous. The content is lame.
That was the most inspirational post I have seen in a long time! Keep up the great work and don’t let anyone get in your way. You do speak the truth!
I’m right there with you. I bought a pet snake because they scared me. I took a job training because I was afraid of public speaking. I started a blog, in part, because I have historically been embarrassed by my poor skills and it always takes me 10 times as long as anyone else to write something.
I love snakes now (non poisonous ones), I’ve received accolades and awards for my training and public speaking, but so far I am still a crappy writer with no following… yet. Watch out, I’m right behind you!
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@Don@moneyreasons.com
Don, thanks for your kind words. That is awesome about you and your son. A mutual way to motivate each other if you will. It must so nice to bond with him and go on a journey together. Looking forward to hearing from you more in the future! Best, FS
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@Greg
Greg-San – Thanks for your bashing and compliments! Buying your pet snake is facing fear straight on, and I commend you for that! They say one of the top three fears is public speaking, so again, well done for addressing this aspect. Maybe you should do one of those video blogs about something? That would be pretty neat.
Don’t worry about a following. I think with the right steady approach, we’ll all have a following eventually! Just write whatever you feel like. I think you have some nice topics, and a very nice set up with your blog. I love how you have all those icons where one can Digg, Reddit, Facebook etc. I wonder if I can do that, hmmm. I’m ready for ya! :) FS
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Getting over the fear of success is important. It’s a weird concept the first time you hear it but it’s so true – same kind of thing with “what’s the worst that could happen” There will always be someone better at everything, but that shouldn’t stop you from trying to surpass them. great post!
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Rejection can be a powerful motivational tool. I like the suggestion to put rejection in plain sight. Opposition can either cause us to give up or motivate us to work harder. Thanks for the encouragement to do the later.
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FS – One of my best rejections was from Arthur Anderson back in college. They told me I didn’t have what it takes to be an AA person. Ever since then, I did everything possible to prove them wrong. And when they went under, I extended a hand to the recruiter who rejected me and said “Sorry. Thank you for rejecting me.”
The Genius
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admin Reply:
October 29th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
The Genius – Man, that must have felt good! Lucky for you, you didn’t join AA. Rightly or wrongly, I’ve heard plenty of folks who have AA on their resume who get funny stares. FS
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I love point #3 and do the same thing with my rejection letters from fiction publishers. I keep them all in a nice file and every once in a while peruse through them for motivation.
I’ve been rejected by some of the best publishers in NYC, not everybody can say that, at least I’ve tried.
There’s also sometimes something to be found in personal rejection letters, like a quick note that may motivate you, or a piece of advice, so I always try to take these to heart, maybe it can help you avoid future rejections.
But in the end, a rejection is just an opinion, so you can’t let it get you down.
Interesting article, thanks for reminding me I’m not the only one who loves rejection.
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admin Reply:
October 29th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
Max – Sounds good man. You’re right, a rejection is just an opinion, and it’s about finding the right person or institution who thinks otherwise and shares your own beliefs! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Best, FS
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I loved this post, Sam. Rejection is never the end of the world. Most importantly, it should never be used as an excuse to give up.
As you’ve noted, take rejection personally and ALWAYS use it as a powerful motivating force.
Well done!
Len
Len Penzo dot Com
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admin Reply:
October 29th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Thanks Len! Glad you enjoyed it. I think I have to write a post about the “funemployed” after our debate over at your site! :) FS
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Love this post and I have to say that some of the best things in my life have come about because of rejections that I have faced in the past and my reaction to prove those who rejected me wrong :)
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@Credit Card Chaser
Thanks man. Good to have you come visit. Cool site you’ve got there. Best, FS
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Visiting Financial Samurai is like having a puppy poop on my carpet! Fired up yet? ;-)
I was asked to be on NPR last weekend, then they called me back and told me that I wasn’t going to fit into their segment. That fired me up… I’m not sure why they cut me, although I think it’s because of the bible focus of my site – which is fine with me. If that’s the worst thing they could find about DFA then I know I’m right on track!
Do you think you could create the sound of a slashing samurai sword every time I refresh your page? If you did I would visit over and over and over again!
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Great post and I love the picture you chose. If you won’t even try, the answer will always be no. Worst case if you ask the girl for her number, apply to the college, try to sell your green marble, and get rejected by all, you will be back to where you started, but at least you tried.
I try to tell myself that everyday when I am scared or intimidated by something. What is the worse that could happen?
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admin Reply:
October 30th, 2009 at 5:06 am
@Casey – Good stuff man. Would you like to buy my green marble though? It’s actually my wife’s, and I’m trying to secretly get rid of her clutter! :)
The things we want, always seem to be a little intimidating. We just got to go for it! FS
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@Matt Jabs
Dang, NPR, that’s big time! At least you know that they’ve got your number and may contact you again in the future. You may be right about the bible focus, but who knows. I’d just contact them again and ask.
Let me see if I can work on that slashing sound for you Matt. Good idea! ha. FS
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rejection is the bonus on the way to success
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Well…since I’m so far down the list I won’t bash your site and than compliment it! LOL
Great post…simple, and wouldn’t it be nice if everyone could follow it to the letter. This post was something that I needed. Just finished a book that ties into this very well entitled..Illusions, the Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach. Short read, sweet…and to the point.
I always doubt myself, have for a long time although I do well in most everything I do. I applied for a job completely under qualified. Granted, I knew someone that worked there…although they were new to the industry as well and had only been there a few months so they didn’t have tremendous pull. 4 people were interviewed…I didn’t make the cut. A week later, I was called back for a second interview when something with their 1st pick didn’t jive right. Went through the barrage of questions again…was told they liked my attitude and were going to take a chance on me…letting me know I had X # of months to certain certs and get up to speed.
Just about 2 years later…I’m still here, I’m strong, people recognize the work I do and am in line to moving up! :) I’ve made countless connections that will/can only help in the future.
In regards to a previous commenter about not being good at writing…I’m right there with you. English what!?!?!
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admin Reply:
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:53 pm
Hi XtraCrispy – What’s your site? I’d love to check it out! Glad you enjoyed the post.
Great story you provided regarding using the most of your opportunity. 2 years is a great achievement, so hears wishing you another great 2 years! FS
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FS – I don’t have a PF blog…used to blog about random things a while ago from time to time. I just meant that I’m not a big fan of writing either!! haha.
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That “what’s the worst that could happen?” question has been very motivating for me as well and helped me get past a lot of fears. Like this month, I’m trying to write a novel with NaNoWriMo. Worst that could happen? I don’t meet the goal. Second worst? Novel is crap but I do meet the goal. Ok, that’s not really that bad. So it’s not scary to give it my best shot. Same with applying to grad schools & taking the GRE. If I don’t succeed this year, I’ll do it again next and I’ll work on becoming awesomer in the meantime. :)
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admin Reply:
November 4th, 2009 at 8:02 am
Mrs. Micah – Good work and I love it! Anybody who can be disciplined to write 50,000 words this month will be huge! That’s like me writing 30-40 posts this month…. hey, could happen! Problem is I have to spend time formatting and restarting a new idea each post, so not as much “flow writing” as I like to say.
Good luck on grad school and taking the GRE! You can do it! Best, FS
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Favorite quote:
“Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.”
—Winston Churchill
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Heh, sorry, no bashing from me today; give me a topic I disagree with you about, and I’ll go toe to toe for days, but I definitely not much of a basher. I definitely agree with your point; almost all the regrets in life are from when I didn’t attempt to do something for fear of rejection, rather than actually being rejected for doing something. As a result, I’m now much more likely to think that the possibility of failure is better than not trying at all.
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admin Reply:
November 8th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Roger – Indeed. Some of the regrets come from fear of rejection, and it annoys the hell out of me. Why didn’t I ask Michelle Kwan (figure skater) to join me for a drink in the lounge when I bumped into her on the way down the hotel elevator one evening in Denver, I donno! :) FS
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Great post, Samurai. I fear rejection to the max. Think has something to do with the way I was raised. And I know it has limited my ability to achieve many great things in my mind. I believe it’s all in the attitude and one I need to change.
Tim (4HWW) touches base on this subject, too. “What is the worst thing that can happen?” So with that chapter and this post I think its time to face the fear of rejection. It can only make me stronger. Thanks again, FS. (nice pic – LOL).
Money Funk´s last blog ..Menu Plan Monday
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admin Reply:
February 4th, 2010 at 10:26 am
Money Funk – Sounds good. Yeah, it is a lot in the mind, and the belief you will succeed. BTW, I always new there was something more to your “smooth jazz” voice after reading Ryan’s post and your comment on previous jobs! Call me Sherlock! hahaha
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Reminds me of my credit rejection because I have no credit history. I asked family, friends, and co-workers for advice to get a credit card. Some of them even offered to call one of their connections with the company and get me a card. While I would greatly appreciate it, I politely declined. I wanted to work to get that credit card and build up my credit the right way. I used it as a learning experience, something to work towards, and something to blog about :)
Derek´s last blog ..5 Ways Saving Money is Like Losing Weight
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admin Reply:
February 4th, 2010 at 1:16 pm
Derek – That’s an honorable thing to do. I’m sure once you triumph over your credit score woes, you will be a better man because of it! Of course, a nice blog article is just icing on the cake!
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@admin
Isn’t it about playing on your strengths? ;)
The funny thing is…all those women, with the exception of me and one other gal, all weighed 300+ lbs but with some damn good voices.
Money Funk´s last blog ..Menu Plan Monday
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admin Reply:
February 4th, 2010 at 2:58 pm
Money Funk – Definitely good to play to your strengths. 300+lbs? Pls don’t deflate our fantasies……… I’m sure some readers who know what we are talking about are bumming!
BTW, why not continue if the money is good? How good was the money anyway/hr?
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This is an excellent and healthy way to view rejection. I never thought of it this way..to seek it out. It reminds me of what a coach once told me when I was selling Tupperware..lol. She said, just tried to get 20 no’s. It does help to motivate you to move forward.
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An excellent article. I can actually relate to it. For me rejection is something I use in my advantage, people can say anything they want to say, you get rejected dumped…every negative feeling can be used to make your life better if you just know how to handle it. Experience is a great teacher and sometimes those that hurt most are the ones that can really teach us a valuable lesson. Just keep moving forward, as the movie Meet the Robinsons says…
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admin Reply:
April 25th, 2010 at 6:31 am
Hi Chrisitina, good attitude to have. Thanks for stopping by. Will check out your site!
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“Effort requires no skill” – a great quote that somehow I’ve never heard before. Now to apply it (I’m afraid I’m one of life’s coasters…)
Monevator´s last blog ..Weekend reading: Current asset valuations
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admin Reply:
April 26th, 2010 at 2:29 pm
Pretty amazing saying huh, “effort requires no skill”. It’s brilliant!
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