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Are You Dirt? Then Stop Letting People Walk All Over You!

Updated: 07/31/2022 by Financial Samurai 60 Comments

Stand up for yourself. Stand up for your honor. Achieving financial freedom requires a strong mindset.

Don’t let people walk all over you. Have the confidence to stand up yourself and fight for what you believe in!

One of the surprising responses from How To Improve The Value Of Your Home With One Phone Call is people basically saying it’s not worth the hassle to call the property assessor’s office to make them input the appropriate square footage on record. Disappointing.

If you paid a permit fee and constructions costs to remodel your home and are now paying extra property taxes on the increased value of your home. The least you can do is make sure the city has your home’s new size correct. The 3-R report is an important record for when it’s time to resell your home.

I’m not sure if everybody saying “don’t bother” are mega-millionaires, but to me, spending 10 minutes to fight for 180 square feet of rightful space to increase my home’s value by ~$160,000 is absolutely worth it!

This “don’t bother” attitude is exactly what the government counts on to collect maximum revenue for the services it provides. When the real estate market is rising, the government will aggressively raise assessed values to collect more property tax revenue.

When the real estate market is falling, even though there is no way in hell you could sell your house for what it is being assessed, they won’t budge. Fighting for what you deserve is the Financial Samurai mindset.

Don’t let people walk all over you!

Stop Letting People Walk All Over You

If you can’t be bothered because you’re lazy or too intimidated to stand up for yourself, this kind of thinking can negatively affect everything you do. Life is about winning the small to conquer the big. Don’t let people walk all over you.

Here are some examples when you consistently let people take advantage of you.

1) You know your woman is cheating on you.

But you can’t be bothered to talk to her about your marital issues because you’re too afraid of confrontation. As a result, you turn into a pathetic loser. Your woman doesn’t respect you, your sex life is horrible, and your relationship goes down the drain.

Other people don’t respect you either because they know your woman is messing around with other men behind your back and you’re doing nothing about it. Letting your partner walk all over you is terrible.

2) You don’t think you’re getting paid what you’re worth.

But you can’t be bothered to put together a presentation highlighting your value and have a heart-to-heart with your manager to tell him or her why you deserve a raise. At the same time, you don’t bother finding a job elsewhere because you doubt your abilities.

You’re comfortably dissatisfied. As a result, you turn into the office virus and spread negativity throughout the organization. You become increasingly bitter and unhappy at work. But you do nothing about your situation and deserve the nothing you get.

3) Your competitor steals your idea.

Instead of calling her out and going after her, you let her continue to copy everything you do. She gets the glory, you don’t. And when you end up telling other people how you came up with the idea first, nobody gives a crap. They just think you’re jealous.

You should have sent a cease and desist letter, but you were too meek. Enjoy being a failed founder who has no net worth because you spent everything you had in your business. You naively believed that meritocracy would win in the end.

4) You quit your job.

The number one reason why people quit their jobs instead of negotiating a severance is because they are too afraid to talk to their bosses and stand up for themselves. Quitting is the easy way out. They justify their inaction by saying, “It’s the right thing to do;” or “I don’t want to burn any bridges;” or “Why would they lay off a high performer like me?”

Negotiating a severance takes having multiple conversations of give and take. Once you quit, you’re left with nothing. But if you receive a severance, you gain the freedom to not rush into anything just for money.

5) You let the loud noise play on.

Instead of asking your neighbor to turn down the bass, you let the bass drive you crazy. You can’t sleep, you go to work pissed, you’re easily agitated with your spouse, and you lose your focus.

Whenever you pass your neighbor on the street, you mentally snarl, but smile as if nothing is bothering you. You’ve let your neighbor pollute your peace and quiet which negatively affects everything around you.

Stand up for yourself! Ask your neighbor to be more respectful.

6) You let a dog defecate all over your front lawn.

At least once a week you wake up to dog shit on your front lawn. It keeps happening because the dog owner knows you don’t have the guts to do anything about it. And at least once a week you’ve got to remove their dog shit for them.

Instead, why not stake out or set up a camera to catch them in the act, follow them home and fling their own shit back at them? I’m sure they’ll love it since they love doing it to you.

7) You let trolls crash your party. 

A random student from Unibocconi in Milan left an angry comment telling me I was lying about how much bloggers can make online. He demanded I send him my income statements as proof.

When I asked him why he thought he deserved access to my private info, why he thought he knew so much having just started his site this year, and why he’d want to hurt his reputation online before trying to land a job in finance after graduation, he then sent immature memes making fun of old people and the gay community.

Now I was offended, so I forwarded his e-mails to his university’s administration office to tell them to speak to this kid before he ruins his life. They apologized on his behalf, thanked me for the heads up, and said he has been spoken to.

It’s too bad there’s so much online bullying nowadays too. If you run a blog or online business, you will get trolls. Ignore most of them. But certainly defend yourself if they’ve gone too far. Always defend your honor, just like you would defend the honor of your children and loved ones.

8) You never question what you’re getting for your money.

I always ask people who ask me for investment advice what they are getting from their investment firm for the fee they are paying. Nine times out of ten, they have no idea how much they are paying until I calculate their fees for them. They are always shocked to hear the number.

One person said she hadn’t heard from her advisor in a year. Demand better for what you are paying or move your money. See how to reduce 401k investment fees and how to reduce mortgage fees and get the best rate possible.

9) You let someone physically or mentally bully you. 

If you are currently being bullied, I feel your pain because I’ve been bullied many times before. But to the extent I won’t die from a bully, I always fight back if the bullying becomes chronic.

The easiest way to fight back is to confront the bully and ask in a calm manner, “Why are you doing this to me?” This simple question makes the bully confront their aggressions. It catches them off guard because bullies prey on the weak.

I have used this tactic face-to-face and over e-mail many times before, and it’s always helped ameliorate the situation. This question often leads to more constructive dialogue. Increasing your knowledge and learning self-defense also helps boost your confidence and confront bullies.

Bullies are the worst. Don’t let them walk all over you. You might be the underdog, but you’ve got to find ways to fight back. There are many non-violent ways to do so.

10) You let other people dictate who you are.

After promoting the Financial Independence Retire Early movement since 2009, I’ve noticed a growing number of people hating on people who have achieved FIRE or who are practicing FIRE. These people are called the Internet Retirement Police.

They are so jealous of your financial success or desire to be FIRE that they must rain on their parade since they are nowhere close to where you are and are unwilling to make similar sacrifices. What’s sad is that most of the Internet Retirement Police are bloggers trying to reach financial independence themselves.

Use their judgement as motivation to make more money and be free!

Related: You Will Always Get Screwed: Face The Facts For Greater Success

It Won’t Stop Until You Make It Stop

Bad things happen all the time. It’s up to you to rectify the situation by taking action. Don’t let other people walk all over you and kick sand in your face without any repercussions.

Even if you fail at improving the situation, you will feel better knowing you did your best to stand up for yourself. If you do nothing, a cancer will eat up your soul.

Having the right money mindset is half the battle for achieving financial freedom. Everybody deserves to be rich. But for some reason, not everybody believes they can be. And if you want the best solution, then achieve financial independence as soon as possible. 

Once you’ve accumulated a real financial independence number, your courage will increase. Once you are financially free, you will no longer fear losing your job or running out of money. As a result, you will have more courage to fight against all the oppressors in your life.

For more nuanced personal finance content, join 50,000+ others and sign up for the free Financial Samurai newsletter. Financial Samurai is one of the largest independently-owned personal finance sites that started in 2009. To get my posts in your inbox as soon as they are published, sign up here. 

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Filed Under: Motivation, Relationships

Author Bio: I started Financial Samurai in 2009 to help people achieve financial freedom sooner. Financial Samurai is now one of the largest independently run personal finance sites with about one million visitors a month.

I spent 13 years working at Goldman Sachs and Credit Suisse. In 1999, I earned my BA from William & Mary and in 2006, I received my MBA from UC Berkeley.

In 2012, I left banking after negotiating a severance package worth over five years of living expenses. Today, I enjoy being a stay-at-home dad to two young children, playing tennis, and writing.

Order a hardcopy of my new WSJ bestselling book, Buy This, Not That: How To Spend Your Way To Wealth And Freedom. Not only will you build more wealth by reading my book, you’ll also make better choices when faced with some of life’s biggest decisions.

Current Recommendations:

1) Check out Fundrise, my favorite real estate investing platform. I’ve personally invested $810,000 in private real estate to take advantage of lower valuations and higher cap rates in the Sunbelt. Roughly $160,000 of my annual passive income comes from real estate. And passive income is the key to being free.

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Comments

  1. Elle @ New Graduate Finance says

    May 18, 2016 at 6:48 pm

    I’m going through a rough patch, and this post really helps.

    I know that just acting like a victim and complaining does not make any positive changes. But this post is good motivation to get out there and change what isn’t working.

    Reply
    • quantakiran says

      May 18, 2016 at 11:59 pm

      Just a little advice: No matter how difficult it gets at work, gut it out. If you love the work you perform, just keep at it and hone your craft. Be the best you can be professionally. Don’t let them change your attitude and don’t ever behave unprofessionally.

      You’ll be the winner at the end of the day. Good luck!

      Reply
  2. Cash Flow Celt says

    May 13, 2016 at 3:49 pm

    It’s the Victim Mentality. We’ve all seen it before. It’s sad, but you can’t be responsible for other people’s choices. The only thing you can do it offer some friendly advice in a non-confrontational manner and leave it at that. You can’t cry over spilled milk; especially when the milk isn’t yours to begin with.

    Reply
  3. AvidReader says

    May 12, 2016 at 10:33 am

    Fantastic post. Learning so much from reading your blogs than going to classes!

    Reply
  4. Dividendsdownunder says

    May 11, 2016 at 8:21 pm

    You definitely have to fight for what you’re worth. No-one else is going to stand up for you except you.

    Tristan

    Reply
  5. Mike says

    May 11, 2016 at 7:45 pm

    I like the pic of a young Jack Bauer…

    I love this post because more people need to be vigilant of their own money. Check your bank statements for errors, check your credit card statement for fraudulent charges and check your FICO & Credit Reports. Everyone should do this because no one is going to do this for you.

    Reply
  6. Dennis says

    May 11, 2016 at 4:44 pm

    It can be a crazy system. I’ve had residential rental properties in a down market in which the appraiser would use foreclosures as comps because they were within a half mile of my property and had similar square footage.

    However, the property tax assessor wouldn’t use those same properties in evaluating my annual property tax. It was definitely a double whammy of pain.

    Reply
    • Financial Samurai says

      May 11, 2016 at 7:41 pm

      It’s a heads they win, tails you lose system. It is abuse of power. It is fraud by the assessor’s office!

      Reply
      • Dennis says

        May 11, 2016 at 8:58 pm

        Completely agree.

        Reply
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