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How To Deal With A Micromanager Without Killing Yourself First

Updated: 01/25/2023 by Financial Samurai 118 Comments

Micromanagers are the worst! Dealing with micromanagers is one of the main reasons why I decided to fake retire from the finance industry in 2012. I couldn’t take this one boss in NYC always calling in to check up on me even though I was ranking well with my clients.

There’s probably nothing more annoying for an experienced employee than to be micromanaged. I’m sure someone who is new to work finds being micromanaged just as annoying, but at least the boss has a good excuse. The novice could really mess things up without proper supervision.

Out of roughly 100 people I spoke to who were interested in leaving their jobs or had already left their jobs when conducting research for my book on negotiating a severance, roughly 70% of them said the main reason why they wanted to leave or did leave their jobs was because of a difficult boss.

The boss was either unfair, unpleasant, uninspiring, or a micromanager. At the end of the day, people join and leave people, not firms.

What Micromanagers Do To Employees

If a boss micromanages, this is what he or she is doing to his or her employees:

1) Undermines

2) Demotivates

3) Creates self-doubt

In other words, micromanagers are horrendous bosses who will likely lose all of their employees over time.

One reader wrote in about dealing with their micromanager,

“Sam, I’m dying here! My firm recently hired this hotshot 30-year old MBA graduate who thinks he knows everything. He used to work in recruiting before getting his degree and this is his first job working for a tech firm. I’m 34 years old and have been working here for five years. Recently, he’s been on my ass about checking all my work, telling me how to do my work, and asking me every time I leave my desk for more than 30 minutes. I can’t even take a dump in peace out of fear he’ll start questioning my whereabouts! I’ve got way more experience than him, yet he gives me no respect. What do you recommend I do?!”

Meet him in the garage after work and deal with the situation like a man by kicking his ass! Was my initial thought. Anybody who shows no respect for their elders should be taught a lesson. But of course, we’re not living during the time of honor. We’re living in the time of “what have you done for me lately”.

I truly empathize with the reader because losing autonomy was one of the main reasons why I left my job. When you’ve got plenty of other means to make a living, working for a micromanager is NOT WORTH IT. But for those of you who have no way out yet, this post will discuss strategies on how to deal with micromanagers so you no longer have to feel miserable coming into work.

Why Do Bossess Micromanage?

It’s very easy to just be bitter about someone who makes your life hell, but if we can better understand WHY your boss is a micromanager, we’ll feel better about ourselves and be much more adept in handling the micromanagement situation. Here are five reasons why your boss is a micromanager:

1) Inexperienced or fundamentally insecure.

Every single micromanagement incident I’ve experienced is due to the fact that the boss is relatively new to his or her role. With inexperience comes insecurity. There is a need for the boss to understand every single thing the employee is doing in order to sleep better at night.

As is the case with the reader above, his boss is a fresh MBA graduate who is under intense pressure to prove to his bosses he is the right person for the job. Because the new MBA graduate doesn’t know jack about the industry, he is micromanaging in order to better understand what to do.

The more experienced the boss is, the calmer she is because she’ll have seen similar situations before and know what to do.

2) General neurotic tendencies.

If your boss suffers from OCD, she may have a higher tendency of being a micromanager. There is simply a chemical imbalance that prevents her from trusting others or trusting a situation thoroughly.

There is also a high correlation with insomniacs and micromanagers. Insomniacs can’t stop thinking about things which worry them so much they can’t sleep. If your boss has neurotic tendencies, then there’s unfortunately less you can do to help fix the situation because it’s up to your boss to fix her own situation.

3) High performers.

In order to be the boss, you usually have to be a high performer in your field. But the problem is that companies too often promote high performers who aren’t great bosses. I see this situation happen all the time with the promotion of top tier sales people into managerial roles.

There is a different skill-set involved in becoming a good boss. High performers expect everybody else to match their performance even though everybody has a different way of doing things.

4) Not busy enough.

If your boss has nothing better to do, then s/he’ll will often try and make work for themselves and for you. One time I had this boss in NYC who called me about a $35 client lunch bill. I regularly took out this senior client to a local Malaysian lunch.

He was calling me from NYC for this tiny bill when he supposedly had 50+ people to manage. What a joke! Especially since our per head entertainment budget is $200. This boss was fired a year later. When bosses are underperforming at their own jobs, they tend to ratchet up the micromanaging. Beware.

5) You’re simply messing up.

If you were doing your job “perfectly” you would be micromanaged less. The issue is, the definition of “perfect” might be different between you two. Take time to understand exactly how your manager likes things to be done and write them down.

How To Deal With A Micromanager

Now that we can better empathize with the micromanager, here are four simple solutions on how to make the situation better.

1) Defer and let them do your work.

This is called the “judo move” where you simply use your boss’s force to help you win. Bosses feel better about themselves after they micromanage. Therefore, you might as well let them do your work to perfection for you. Thank them for their guidance and let them feed their OCD.

I noticed this boss who kept saying she didn’t want to encroach on another colleague’s work. But he continued to encroach anyway. It was the strangest thing.

My colleague simply deferred everything to her boss by letting her do the work for her. All was good and my colleague was able to stress less, do less work, and still get paid the same six figures.

2) Lower your manager’s expectations.

If you can adeptly play dumb and demonstrate you know enough to not get fired, but don’t know as much as you really do, then your micromanager will slowly accept your new lower standard.

It’s when you over-deliver on a low hurdle where the micromanager will suddenly start thinking to themselves, “Wow, Tom is doing a great job!” and slowly leave you alone. Definitely clarify exactly what your manager wants so you can come close to giving them exactly what they need.

Happiness equals reality minus expectations. If you’re always desiring the best, you will surely be more disappointed than the person who is happy with average.

3) Help them get busy.

If you can help your boss get more work and be better at her job, then you are helping yourself because she’ll be too busy to micromanage you. If my boss in NYC actually had something to do, there’s no way he’d bother grilling me on a $35 client lunch bill.

Promote your boss to other senior people. This way, you make your boss look good so s/he can be distracted by other things. Think about a burglar throwing a juicy t-bone steak at the German Shepard watchdog in order to break in.

4) Build trust.

What’s most disappointing about a micromanager is that despite your experience and demonstration that you are an outstanding citizen, they still don’t trust you to do your work. If someone doesn’t trust you, that’s a personal insult if you are a trustworthy person. No wonder why the large majority of people who want to quit their jobs cite problem bosses as the #1 reason.

With work-from-home commonplace now, more people are working less hours a week. Some work-from-home tech employees have taken things too far and work only two hours a day from home! As a result, more bosses are micromanaging because more employees are slacking off.

5) Anticipate what they want.

A micromanager is like the OCD guy who can’t leave the house comfortably without worry whether he turned off the lights and shut off the stove. So he has to get out of his car and go back to check. If you can successfully update your manager whenever you do something via e-mail, phone call, or text, you will lessen his or her anxiety.

As an employee, please review these career-limiting moves.

If You Are A Micromanager, Do These Things

Perhaps you’re reading this post and realize you’re a micromanager. The first step to fixing a problem is recognizing you have a problem. Congratulations! Instead of beating yourself for being a horrible, neurotic, untrusting person who makes other people miserable, look to fix your mistakes.

1) Spend time knowing what drives your employees.

Money is seldom the #1 reason why employees quit. You are or a lack of recognition. Hence, it’s important to sit down with your employees who you think need micromanaging and understand their strengths and weaknesses. Develop not only a professional bond, but a personal bond on some level.

Maybe you share a love for travel, dogs, cats, or sports. Find that common link because once your employee feels that connection, they will ultimately do a much better job because they care for you professionally and personally.

With a decline in merit-based compensation, you need to be strategic when it comes to building relationships to get ahead.

2) Incentivize with a sandwich.

The delivery of criticism is very important. I suggest using the sandwich method where you first recognize them for parts where they did well, offer areas for improvement, and then finish off with more recognition of another part well done. Nobody is going to feel motivated if all they hear is criticism.

You must constantly recognize your employee’s efforts for them to want to give you even more effort. Send out a group e-mail highlighting their efforts. Praise them during the next group meeting. Take them out to lunch. Pat them on the back and simply say, “good work.”

Encouragement goes a long way and it’s free.

3) Establish consistent checkpoints.

Instead of being on your employee’s ass every day, simply establish a once a week 30 minute check-in to see how your employee is doing. Use this meeting time to thoroughly understand the issues.

Go through point #2, and do your best to stop micromanaging until this next meeting. Make it clear that if your employee needs help that they should come to you.

4) Get better at your job.

Micromanaging is born out of insecurity and distrust. The better you get at your job and the more confident you are with your situation, the less you will micromanage your adult subordinates.

Negotiate A Severance And Be Free

Bosses who micromanage are like zombies in The Walking Dead. They might be curable, but it takes patience and understanding because they are often blind to their actions.

The best bosses in the world recognize your strengths. They put you in a position to utilize your strengths. They also check in every once in a while to see if you need help. Too bad there aren’t more classes to help teach new managers better managerial skills.

If you can’t get your boss to stop micromanaging everything you do, then you must figure out a way to get the hell out of there by negotiating a severance package. Your micromanager is a plague who will infect everybody eventually or get fired himself. Take matters into your own hands before it’s too late.

Make A Change If You’re Miserable

In 2012, I negotiated a six-figure severance package worth six years of living expenses. It was my catalyst to break free from Corporate America for good. I didn’t want to deal with a micromanager anymore. As an employee, you have more power than you think.

If you quit your job, you forfeit your right to a severance, to unemployment benefits, and to COBRA healthcare. Check out my book, How To Engineer Your Layoff. It will teach you how to leave your job with potentially money in your pocket.

It’s the only book that teaches you how to negotiate a severance. In addition, it was recently updated and expanded thanks to tremendous reader feedback and successful case studies. The book has been extensively revised multiple times to incorporate more case studies and feedback.

Use the code “savefive” to save $5. Or, pre-order/purchase four copies of my new book, Buy This, Not That: How To Spend Your Way To Wealth And Freedom, e-mail me proof of purchase at sales AT financialsamurai DOT com, and I’ll send you How To Engineer Your Layoff For Free.

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Read The Best Book On Becoming Rich, Happy, And Free

If you want to read the best book on achieving financial freedom sooner, check out Buy This, Not That: How to Spend Your Way To Wealth And Freedom. BTNT is jam-packed with all my insights after spending 30 years working in, studying, and writing about personal finance. 

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BTNT will be the best personal finance book you will ever read. You can buy a copy on Amazon today. The richest people in the world are always reading and always learning new things. Learn from those who are already where you want to go.

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Be Your Own Boss

If you just can’t deal working with a micromanager, then consider being your own boss. It’s been over 12 years since I escaped Corporate America. I couldn’t be happier thanks to starting Financial Samurai in 2009.

Being your own boss is a lot of work. But it’s worth it because there’s nothing better than working hard and seeing a correlation with effort and reward. I would never trade going back to Corporate America for the lifestyle I have now. This is even if I made triple the income from work.

It’s never been easier and cheaper to start your own website, and therefore your own business. Everybody should plant their flag on their internet and at least establish their brand online.

Once you have your own website, you can find new job opportunities. You can find new consulting opportunities, sell your own product, or sell other people’s products and earn a fee.

Instead of letting Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter get rich off you. Own your own brand and get rich off yourself. You will naturally attract people you want to work with thanks to your website.

Updated for 2022 and beyond. With the economy rebounding, more people are starting their own businesses on the side. It’s the easiest way to make money from home and escape a micromanager. The global pandemic has proven that having an online business that can’t be shut down is the way to go!

Please develop your X-Factor well before it’s too late. You always want to have as many options as possible. Life is too short to work with a micromanager!

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Filed Under: Career & Employment

Author Bio: I started Financial Samurai in 2009 to help people achieve financial freedom sooner. Financial Samurai is now one of the largest independently run personal finance sites with about one million visitors a month.

I spent 13 years working at Goldman Sachs and Credit Suisse (RIP). In 1999, I earned my BA from William & Mary and in 2006, I received my MBA from UC Berkeley.

In 2012, I left banking after negotiating a severance package worth over five years of living expenses. Today, I enjoy being a stay-at-home dad to two young children, playing tennis, and writing.

Current Recommendations:

1) Check out Fundrise, my favorite real estate investing platform. I’ve personally invested $810,000 in private real estate to take advantage of lower valuations and higher rental yields in the Sunbelt. Roughly $160,000 of my annual passive income comes from real estate. And passive income is the key to being free. With mortgage rates down dramatically post the regional bank runs, real estate is now much more attractive.

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Financial Samurai has a partnership with Fundrise and PolicyGenius and is also a client of both. Financial Samurai earns a commission for each sign up at no cost to you. 

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Comments

  1. polly says

    August 24, 2021 at 8:56 am

    My boss (also in finance – is the CEO) has a different version of micromanagement. I’m trying to get my head around it. He will not sign off on anything or provide input – says to “work with the team” or “work with the board” … so I do. And then he seagulls in and shits on it, thus requiring a re-do. It is impossible to gain traction. the impact is that I am afraid of attacking big projects as I know they will be a pain fest. the trait of his has been noticed by others. He’s very bad at saying what his goal is, or if he does it is this rambling blue sky type deal and when I try to triangulate in to identify actionable goals and targets – he dismisses and says to ignore. On top of this, if I provide a goal or a possible course of action he resents it and says how much he knows about it already – but for some reason hasn’t implemented it for whatever reason. And then the worst is when I actually want to get a point across he talks over me and keeps at it until I stop talking. Yet he always has the outward appearance of kindness, what I feel is that I am disrespected. I’m at the end of my career (60 y.o CMO) and he’s CEO and I don’t actually want to find another job as this was allegedly a downgrade in stress from previous roles. My skills are so generalist I’m not really seeing a self-employment angle for myself. Any ideas?

    Reply
  2. HenryNewGuy says

    July 21, 2021 at 2:24 pm

    I have a slightly different dynamic. I am being trained by another colleague who had been performing my role while the team searched for somebody. I’m a mid-career and an experienced hire, and this is a contract role that is a tryout to see if it could be something more permanent. I completely think it’s important to learn the company culture and “the way” things are done. Sometimes though, even simple tasks are being repeatedly checked. Changes/edits are made to my work without any feedback. Sometimes, I’m just generally ignored. I want to keep in everybody’s good graces, and I don’t want to make waves. Should I just suck it up and bide my time until I can land a permanent offer. My manager and dotted lines superiors are all super happy with my work so far and I don’t want to lose that goodwill.

    Reply
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