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Learning To Be Happy With What We Have

Updated: 01/05/2023 by Financial Samurai 66 Comments

Learning to be happy with what we have is on of the keys to long-term happiness. Money is only a tool to a better and happier life. Never forget this. Part of the reason why so many people are unhappy is because they are never satisfied.

If you can find your ikigai, your “reason for being,” you will find more happiness and be more content.

Learning To Be Happy With What We Have

A San Francisco Heart - Learning To Be Happy With What We Have

While cleaning up the FS Forum application spam I had a realization. For the past eight years I’ve been happy with what I have.

Before 2005 I was restless because I still needed to prove myself at work and make sure I wasn’t a failure by age 30 in two years time.

The 1997 Honda Civic I was putzing around in wouldn’t do so I upgraded to something nicer within the 1/10th rule. Even my condo I had so proudly bought on my 26th birthday began to feel insufficient after a couple years.

After turning 28 things just clicked one way or another. A promotion a year earlier provided the confidence to buy my current house. Moose was also rescued off Craigslist the same year after his owner rushed to Amsterdam for a job transfer. I’ve faithfully taken care of him ever since, most recently buying him a new power steering pump for a pretty penny.

Meanwhile, I already found the love of my life, which is more important than all the money in the world. I’ve seen colleagues never find anybody because of a busy career or simply bad luck. Some admitted they’d give up their fancy titles and riches just to find someone. They wished they worked harder on love instead of career.

Achieving A Steady State Of Happiness

Since 2005 I’ve also gone from making a lot of money to making much less, yet my consumption habits have not changed. Perhaps it’s because I only lived off 30% of my income for the past decade.

I’m probably more happy now because I don’t have to ride the bus into work anymore and deal with all the pressures to produce. Then again, I can’t remember when I wasn’t happy even as a broke foreign exchange student sleeping on a wooden plank in the middle of summer with no AC.

I’ve driven the same car and have lived in the same house all this time. I even wear the same jeans from 14 years ago along with a bunch of other clothes. I sure do love my REM concert t-shirt from 1995. What fun memories.

Other than splurging on annual two week international vacations, there’s really nothing more I want. I’m starting to wonder if there’s something wrong with me given we’ve all grown wealthier during this time period.

Shouldn’t we desire more things the more we have?

Related: Solving The Happiness Conundrum In Five Moves Or Less

Still Learning To Be Happy With What I Have

I thought I’d have the answer by the time I finished this post, but I don’t. Perhaps we humans are quite simple. All we need are the basics for survival and anything more doesn’t move the needle for very long. We always revert back to our steady state after every milestone.

I’ve learned to be happy with what I have, yet I don’t have many lessons to share. The desire for status fades as we become more financially independent. We become more aware of our mortality the older we get. The immaturity of our 20s goes away. We do things we think will lead us towards more happiness, and aggressively stop doing things that create despair.

At some point whether it’s at 28, 38 or 68 we’ll look back and realize we’ve been satisfied for a very long time.

As a father now, the biggest joy I experience every day are my two young children. They are the best! I wake up every morning eager to give them great big hugs.

In order to be free to do so, I’ve been focused on creating as much passive income as possible. Passive income is what will enable me to stay free.

Resources For A Better Life

Negotiate A Severance Package. Never quit your job, get laid off instead if you want to move on. Negotiating a severance package provided me with six years worth of living expenses to help me focus on my online media business. Check out my book, How To Engineer Your Layoff: Make A Small Fortune By Saying Good-bye. The book provides solid strategies for how you too, can escape a job you hate with money in your pocket.

Looking to go on a nice vacation? I’ve got a fantastic five diamond rated two bedroom, two bathroom condominium at The Resort At Squaw Creek in Lake Tahoe. There’s ski-in/ski-out, three outdoor hot tubs, three heated pools, a spa, a gym, several gourmet restaurants, fantastic children and family activities, a golf course on site, amazing hiking, kayaking, rafting, fishing, biking, and more! Lake Tahoe is one of the best places to vacation on Earth.

You can rent out my place as a studio (two queens), one bedroom (one king, a pullout queen, fireplace, two TVs, kitchenette, dining table, two rooms), or entire two bedroom unit (studio and one bedroom combined). Click the links for availability and click this post to see pictures and information about my place. My prices are ~15% lower than anywhere you’ll find online!

Time to live it up a little now that we’ve fully recovered from the financial meltdown. In fact, I plan to re-retire shortly and stop the grind forever.

Photo: Hearts Of San Francisco, Downtown Embarcadero. FS.

Related: Happiness By Age: Stay Away From Middle-Age People!

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Filed Under: Retirement

Author Bio: I started Financial Samurai in 2009 to help people achieve financial freedom sooner. Financial Samurai is now one of the largest independently run personal finance sites with about one million visitors a month.

I spent 13 years working at Goldman Sachs and Credit Suisse. In 1999, I earned my BA from William & Mary and in 2006, I received my MBA from UC Berkeley.

In 2012, I left banking after negotiating a severance package worth over five years of living expenses. Today, I enjoy being a stay-at-home dad to two young children, playing tennis, and writing.

Order a hardcopy of my new WSJ bestselling book, Buy This, Not That: How To Spend Your Way To Wealth And Freedom. Not only will you build more wealth by reading my book, you’ll also make better choices when faced with some of life’s biggest decisions.

Current Recommendations:

1) Check out Fundrise, my favorite real estate investing platform. I’ve personally invested $810,000 in private real estate to take advantage of lower valuations and higher cap rates in the Sunbelt. Roughly $160,000 of my annual passive income comes from real estate. And passive income is the key to being free.

2) If you have debt and/or children, life insurance is a must. PolicyGenius is the easiest way to find affordable life insurance in minutes. My wife was able to double her life insurance coverage for less with PolicyGenius. I also just got a new affordable 20-year term policy with them.

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Comments

  1. Ricky says

    June 23, 2013 at 9:10 am

    Not trying to be fasciscious at all but I’d be willing to bet your annual expenditures far exceeds what most of America lives on. You live in arguably the second most expensive city in America, next to New York. Your property taxes, insurance, etc are already inherently higher. than 90% of America.

    Not questioning the meaning of your post, just trying to keep it all relative.

    Reply
    • Financial Samurai says

      June 23, 2013 at 9:47 am

      Indeed. One of the constant themes of this site is that EVERYTHING is relative when it comes to finances.

      And b/c my world is expensive, my income and assets are nothing special b/c 2,500sqft homes in good locations cost $1.7 million and up. And b/c most people can’t make the income they make living in an inexpensive place, comparing the two is difficult. The only way to transcend this situation is to start a mobile business e.g. internet or retire early and move.

      So for this post, whether you are rich or poor, it’s about learning to be happy with what we have and know. To always want more is suffering.

      Reply
      • Ricky says

        June 23, 2013 at 12:43 pm

        Agreed. Even though where you live is expensive, it’s superior in terms of overall happiness I feel, comparing SF to NY. So I applaud you in your ability to live in one of the nicest places in the world for sure.

        Reply
  2. joe says

    June 20, 2013 at 2:27 pm

    Ive found that as my financial assets grew I was starting to taste financial freedom. This ultimately created a lost desire in the things and toys I purchased back when I was really living paycheck to paycheck. creating a sufficiently large financial nut and turning minimalist I believe are two traits that can simultaneously develop. Sometimes I feel weird too, I even take walks in walmar or the mall just to see what am I missing? Nope, I walk out thinking the same thing everytime — all that consumerism eye candy crap will be in next years yard sales.

    Reply
    • Financial Samurai says

      June 20, 2013 at 3:20 pm

      Uncanny how similar our experiences are. Instead of Walmart though, I go to the BMW dealer to inhale the new car smell, go for a test drive, and thank them for their time! I love not spending $60,000 on a car I know I could buy! Besides, there aren’t any Walmarts in SF anyway. :)

      Reply
      • joe says

        June 21, 2013 at 3:32 am

        A 60k car is another perfect example. Your 1/10 rule is what everyone should target. The reason is car dealerships/salesmen are like home builders — they will all try to sell you more than you need. My friends ask why I dont buy a lexus when I could easily afford it, cash even. I see it a different way opting for the budget cars sticking to the 1/10 rule too, always paying cash. The rest of that cash? well its for my next car in 15 years and the car after that. But the funny thing too is I hope to position myself where someday I wont need a car at all.

        Reply
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