How To Deal With A Bully
It’s hard to imagine anyone never getting bullied through grade school. Inevitably, there’s some immature, insecure kid out there looking to pick a fight. Do you keep quiet or fight back? You might be surprised to hear, but I’ve ALWAYS fought back until the bullying stopped. I’m described as a very cheerful person who is always smiling, but when provoked, you will feel my wrath.
I remember growing up as a kid being taught to just walk away and ignore a bully. For some reason, I could never listen to that advice. I didn’t care if I got injured fighting back. It was what I had to do to defend my honor. What’s even worse than being bullied, is when you see someone you love get taken advantage of. That’s when shit really hits the fan!
PERSONAL STORIES OF BEING BULLIED
Example 1: In the 6th grade, we’d always play a game of soccer during lunch period. The teams always seemed to be split between the richer kids with all the nice toys, and the less well-to-do kids. I was in the latter group. Dribbling the ball mid-field one day, I got checked and then tripped by an annoying prick who had done this to my teammates multiple times before. I had enough and rushed him, kicked his legs out from under him and watched him fall on his back. He started laughing it off and cursed at me so I proceed to ram the heel of my sole into his solar-plex. He began to gag, then cry.
We both had to “face the wall” during next period. During that time, he actually turned to me and apologized. That was the end of his bullying of me and my teammates and we became friends.
Example 2: In the 8th grade, I had been minding my own business shooting hoops when another bully snatched my ball and proceeded to kick the ball all the way to the other side of the outdoor court. I told him to go get my ball a couple of times and each time he taunted me back saying, “What are you going to do about it?” After his third taunt, I told him, “This is what I’m going to do about it” and opened my right palm outwards and with my entire weight behind me, I smacked him hard in his right ear. He went to get my basketball, and then proceeded to go to the nurses office to attend to his burst eardrum.
I remember going back to my locker after finishing hoops to an angry girl who had a crush on the bully. She started cursing at me because I had injured him. I just walked on by. By the end of school, the bully had his right ear wrapped when he came up to me and apologized. “Sorry, my fault,” he said. I accepted his apology and apologized that I burst his eardrum. He said he would regain full hearing again in 30 days, and not to worry.
Example 3: I arrived early to 10th grade Biology class one day and had my pick of seats. Before sitting down I decided to tie my shoe and propped one leg up on a chair. In the midst of tying my shoe, one asshole, who is about 6 ft 3 inches tall and 220 pounds decided to annoy me. He told me to “move out of the way” so he could take a seat behind me. The classroom was empty, and he could have easily just walked around me, but nope. I told him let me finish tying my shoe first, when he then proceeded to shove me while on one foot. I fell to the ground, and needless to say I was pissed because my head could have smacked a sharp metal edge. I immediately got up and punched him at an angle into his right eye socket so that his eyeglasses would smash right in his face before my fist upon impact.
We proceeded to RUMBLE, but was soon broken up by our school “Narc”, who was also my varsity tennis coach. I got suspended for one day, and he got suspended for two. When we returned, he apologized, I apologized and we moved on.
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO WHEN A BULLY STRIKES?
Based on my examples above, you can fight back to the point where the other kid relents. The bully will probably then apologize, and then it’s up to you to be the better person and forgive. However, the BIG PROBLEM with fighting back is that if you don’t thoroughly obliterate your bullies hopes in one swift attack, you encourage retaliation. The whole point of fighting back is to show the bully you are the wrong person to fuck with, and to realize his or her messed up ways.
The BEST way to deal with a bully is to actually have a very calm and mature conversation with him or her. Ask these questions sincerely: “Why are you doing this to me?”, “Please tell me what I did in the past to provoke you?”, “Is there any way we can be cool and get to know each other?”, “Can I buy you some Doritos and let’s go talk about it?”. It takes courage, but when they start to internalize these questions, there is a good chance they’ll realize what they are doing is completely idiotic.
If you catch the bully SOLO, you will have the best chance of breaking through and connecting with him or her. Bullying usually occurs in front of a crowd, so that the bully can show off and feel good about himself or herself by putting someone else down. Seriously, a lot of bullying is due to low self-esteem. Get them by themselves and have a talk. This is the secret, peaceful way to dealing with a bully, and for that matter racists too!
Readers, have you ever been bullied before? How did you deal with it? What about work place bullying? Does that ever occur?
Thanks to Kevin from Thousandaire for evoking long lost childhood memories in his post,”When It Comes To Bullying, Nobody Wins.”
I’m 100% behind the Australian kid who got bullied. What kind of idiot bullies an older, much larger kid anyway? As you can see, the bully is trying to show off in front of his friends and girls. Speaking of girls, I love the girl at the end who says, “I think you need to back off alright!?”. Again, a solution to bullying is to get the bully solo and ask him point blank questions as to why he’s bullying! Both of them learned a lesson, and I’m sure the bully apologized and they’ll be better adults because of the incident.