With the racism and sexual assault allegations that have befallen the Governor of Virginia, the Attorney General of Virginia, and the Lt. Governor of Virginia, I was reminded of all the racist altercations I experienced growing up in Virginia for public high school and public university in the mid-to-late 90s.

Given the revelations at the senior levels of Virginia government today, you know racism in Virginia wasn’t unusual decades ago. Racism wasn’t a constant ubiquity, but I did experience some type of racist encounter about every 10th time I went out of the house.

One of the more milder examples was while waiting in line to go to the bathroom at a gas station off I-95 heading south. A white guy behind me said, “Hey, don’t you understand English? What are you waiting for? The bathroom is open!“

I turned around and said, “There’s actually someone in there. They just didn’t lock the door. Do you understand the English that’s coming out of my mouth?”

He backed down with an “Oh, never mind.” But I was ready to rumble.

The amazing thing about all these racial experiences is that it’s all I knew after coming to America for high school.

I thought it was normal to be on the receiving end of racial slurs or racial innuendos every so often. I just endured and fought back as hard as I could each time.

Yes, I got suspended from school multiple times for fighting, but it was worth it to defend my honor. Kids stopped messing with me once they felt my fists of fury.

After I got a job in 1999 in New York City and again when I moved out to San Francisco in 2001, I realized that being a minority in America felt so much more comfortable in a diverse city.

My racial conflicts dropped from every 10th time I went outside to maybe every 25th time I went outside in Manhattan. In San Francisco, I can’t remember my last racial conflict because we are a minority majority city.

One of my biggest worries as a parent is whether I’ll mess up my son’s life by sending him to private school instead of public school. I’m fortunate enough to have a choice. But sometimes, more choices mean more headaches and possible wrong decisions.

I went to an international private middle school when my parents were stationed in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia as US foreign service officers. The cultural experience was amazing.

But I was also surrounded by a lot of extremely wealthy kids who had drivers and mansions in the hills. There was a innate aura of privilege that I was apart of which made me lazy.

My friends had parents who either owned successful businesses or held high paying jobs. Many of my friends didn’t study very hard because they knew that through their parents’ connections, they would get choice jobs after graduation. That, or they’d simply get a job at their parents’ company and eventually take over the business.

After four years in Malaysia, I came to the US for high school and attended a public school. Public school is where I learned to become more independent and how to deal with many of life’s realities.

In the US, some of my high school friends lived in government housing. I had to fight back against bullies and find ways out of hairy situations more times than I can count.

In high school, I got suspended a couple times for fighting back. Some of the kids I hung out with smoked, drank, and shoplifted. I sometimes did the same.

The cast of characters was much more diverse in public school than in private school. But they were a closer reflection of society once I graduated.

I’d like to think that attending public school is what made me into a gritty person who never backs down from conflict. I want to believe coming from an underdog status helped me fight harder to achieve financial independence.

After college, I always used to carry a chip on my shoulder that motivated me to work harder in banking because I had attended a public university instead of an elite target private institution like many of my colleagues.

Without a financial safety net, for me, it was either drown or swim across the ocean to the promised land.

Divorce is one of the worst destroyers of wealth. May you never have to go through one. Love birds beware. The following is a guest post from FS reader and medical doctor, Xrayvsn.

Divorce.

Few words in the English language can elicit as negative a visceral response as that of divorce.

Despite its increasing prevalence in society, stories of divorce and the subsequent impact on one’s finances are rarely discussed in the personal finance community.

Like the subject of money, there seems to be an unspoken rule that divorce is a taboo subject and should not be discussed by members of polite society.

I think that by keeping stories of divorce, along with the financial and emotional tolls that accompany it, private, we are losing a wonderful opportunity to benefit the greater good.

Years and years of savings and investing can disappear in a blink of an eye, leaving a divorcee reeling and in a financial tailspin.

Because it is often not talked about publicly, many individuals feel isolated and have the daunting task of rebuilding their lives without guidance.

In a hope to break this cycle of silence and isolation, I share the story of my divorce and the emotional and financial roller coaster I was put on so that someone in a similar predicament can gain solace there is indeed light at the end of a seemingly endless dark tunnel.

With regular contributions, company matching, profit sharing, and conservative returns, many of you will eventually become 401(k) millionaires. But what may be more exciting is if your children become 529 plan millionaires before they even get their first full-time job!

With $1 million by the time your child gets their first full-time job, they’ll be able to live a life of leisure (or purpose). They won’t feel pressured to take a high-paying job they hate just because society says it’s prestigious work. Further, they might feel less guilt knowing their parents didn’t have to sacrifice so much to pay for their private school tuition.

Think about how many more young adults would become teachers, non-profit workers, journalists, and volunteers. Clearly, the world would be a better place if everybody did work they loved. And there is no greater love than being able to help others.

By going the public school route from kindergarten through college, the vast majority of parents who are able to pay private school tuition in the first place, will have accumulated $1 million or more if they diligently save and invest the difference for 22 years.

Given the tax advantages, let’s use the 529 college savings plan to see what type of contributions or returns are necessary to make millionaire dreams come true for kids. 

Much has been written about offering more support and empathy for the stay at home parent who gives up his or her job to take care of a child full-time. Being a full-time parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world because so much is at stake. Full-time parents deserve all the respect in the world.

However, little attention is paid to the plight of the sole income earning parent. The sole income earning parent seems to have it relatively easy because s/he doesn’t have to be on call 24/7. S/he can slack off at work with no devastating consequences. S/he can even attend the occasional company boondoggle and have stimulating conversations with adults over copious amounts of free alcohol.

However, any emotionally competent sole income providing parent faces the following difficulties:

• The constant stress of knowing they have to provide for the family with no financial backup
• The constant guilt for being away from their child because of work
• Not being able to find support because a day job is considered the easier job
• The expectation of having to do an equal amount of parenting after a long day’s work

Many couples fight over this division of labor. The sole income provider often wants to come home, have a drink, eat dinner, and maybe watch some TV and relax, before jumping into parenting duties, especially after a rough day.

But the stay at home parent, who has been going non-stop since not-at-home spouse left the house, resents this expectation because nothing is as energy sapping as caring for an infant. The sole income provider is resentful for not being allowed to take even half an hour to unwind. Problems ensue!

Let’s see if we can help the sole income providing parent get him or her get to a happier place. 

Despite all the hassle, you’re thinking about traveling or living abroad with kids. Exciting! This post will give you some food for thought as I’ve been thinking about doing just that for the past year.

I loved growing up overseas. It was always a treat to meet new people, eat new food, and learn about new cultures. My parents worked for the US Foreign Service and were stationed in Manila, Lusaka, Kobe, Taipei, and Kuala Lumpur before finally arriving in McLean, Virginia for my high school years. McLean is 20 minutes away from the US State Department in Washington D.C.

Because I attended international schools for 13 years, I felt like I had a much richer childhood compared to many of my high school peers who mostly spent elementary school, middle school, and high school in the Northern Virginia region. Every summer I’d go back to see my friends in Taipei and KL, which was an absolute blast.

Living abroad helped me understand and embrace different cultures. For example, because roughly 61% of the Malaysian population was Muslim, I had several close Muslim friends who shared with me their traditions. I’m certain there would be much more love and harmony around the globe if more folks traveled.