Divorce is one of the worst destroyers of wealth. May you never have to go through one. Love birds beware. The following is a guest post from FS reader and medical doctor, Xrayvsn.

Divorce.

Few words in the English language can elicit as negative a visceral response as that of divorce.

Despite its increasing prevalence in society, stories of divorce and the subsequent impact on one’s finances are rarely discussed in the personal finance community.

Like the subject of money, there seems to be an unspoken rule that divorce is a taboo subject and should not be discussed by members of polite society.

I think that by keeping stories of divorce, along with the financial and emotional tolls that accompany it, private, we are losing a wonderful opportunity to benefit the greater good.

Years and years of savings and investing can disappear in a blink of an eye, leaving a divorcee reeling and in a financial tailspin.

Because it is often not talked about publicly, many individuals feel isolated and have the daunting task of rebuilding their lives without guidance.

In a hope to break this cycle of silence and isolation, I share the story of my divorce and the emotional and financial roller coaster I was put on so that someone in a similar predicament can gain solace there is indeed light at the end of a seemingly endless dark tunnel.

With regular contributions, company matching, profit sharing, and conservative returns, many of you will eventually become 401(k) millionaires. But what may be more exciting is if your children become 529 plan millionaires before they even get their first full-time job!

With $1 million by the time your child gets their first full-time job, they’ll be able to live a life of leisure (or purpose). They won’t feel pressured to take a high-paying job they hate just because society says it’s prestigious work. Further, they might feel less guilt knowing their parents didn’t have to sacrifice so much to pay for their private school tuition.

Think about how many more young adults would become teachers, non-profit workers, journalists, and volunteers. Clearly, the world would be a better place if everybody did work they loved. And there is no greater love than being able to help others.

By going the public school route from kindergarten through college, the vast majority of parents who are able to pay private school tuition in the first place, will have accumulated $1 million or more if they diligently save and invest the difference for 22 years.

Given the tax advantages, let’s use the 529 college savings plan to see what type of contributions or returns are necessary to make millionaire dreams come true for kids. 

Much has been written about offering more support and empathy for the stay at home parent who gives up his or her job to take care of a child full-time. Being a full-time parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world because so much is at stake. Full-time parents deserve all the respect in the world.

However, little attention is paid to the plight of the sole income earning parent. The sole income earning parent seems to have it relatively easy because s/he doesn’t have to be on call 24/7. S/he can slack off at work with no devastating consequences. S/he can even attend the occasional company boondoggle and have stimulating conversations with adults over copious amounts of free alcohol.

However, any emotionally competent sole income providing parent faces the following difficulties:

• The constant stress of knowing they have to provide for the family with no financial backup
• The constant guilt for being away from their child because of work
• Not being able to find support because a day job is considered the easier job
• The expectation of having to do an equal amount of parenting after a long day’s work

Many couples fight over this division of labor. The sole income provider often wants to come home, have a drink, eat dinner, and maybe watch some TV and relax, before jumping into parenting duties, especially after a rough day.

But the stay at home parent, who has been going non-stop since not-at-home spouse left the house, resents this expectation because nothing is as energy sapping as caring for an infant. The sole income provider is resentful for not being allowed to take even half an hour to unwind. Problems ensue!

Let’s see if we can help the sole income providing parent get him or her get to a happier place.