One of the main reasons why people delay having children is its cost. Rising prices for daycare, preschool tuition, and shelter plus the opportunity cost of not working, partially explains why our population replacement rate is declining. 

The cost of raising children worried me so much that I actually had a $1 million net worth target before having kids. In retrospect, having such a large net worth goal was clearly unnecessary. But the goal did reflect the type of financial anxiety I felt while working in New York City and San Francisco.

My wife and I weren’t ready to have kids until we were in our mid-30s. San Francisco was already expensive enough. To add a child then when we already didn’t have enough time or energy due to our respective occupations would have been unfair to our kid.

Therefore, we logically waited until we had more wealth and more time before seriously trying. We were familiar with the often-cited statistic that it takes $250,000++ to raise a kid to adulthood.

After several years of parenting, however, I now realize there are some unexpected financial benefits of having kids I didn’t anticipate. Further, having children isn’t as expensive as you might think. For folks thinking about having kids or new parents, this article is for you.

Are you a stay-at-home father or father who spends a lot of time with his children? If so, you may be second-guessing your decision to spend so much time with them during their early years. Without some reciprocating love, you might be wondering whether your effort is worth it.

You see, the more time and effort a father commits to parenting, the more disappointment he may experience. Feeling disappointed is why so many people don’t try to pursue their dreams. It may be better not to try at all than to experience rejection.

This post will look at the age children begin lovering their fathers as much as their mothers. I am a father of two children, ages 5.5 and 3. I’ve been a stay-at-home father since they were born and have felt the constant stings of rejection since 2017.

But I’ve discovered by around age three, children begin to warm up much better to their fathers.

A Child Initially Closer To The Mother

Children usually gravitate more towards their mothers during their first two years of life. Why wouldn’t they, given mothers have provided their first homes? And whether or not a mother breastfeeds, the bond between baby and mother is stronger because a baby associate its mother with food and survival.

In the eyes of a baby, due to biology, a father is an inferior being to a mother in many ways. As a result, no matter how hard a father tries to care for his baby during the first year of life, he will never be the main target of affection.

As the bond between mother and baby grows, the now toddler may continue to find more comfort from the mother during their second year of life. Getting constantly rebuffed during the baby’s second year of life might logically make fathers want to try less hard.

But hang tough dads! Feeling like you’re chopped liver doesn’t last forever. Better times are coming.