Anybody can sell their services but not everybody can build and sustain a fruitful relationship. This is why making money is easier than building relationships. How many sets of friends have you had over your lifetime? How many acquaintances have come and gone? Too many in my mind.
The other day, I became dismayed by one blogger who just focused on taking advantage of the Yakezie Network to make money. He was more active in our financial opportunities than building relationships with fellow Members.
We're talking no retweets, no posts highlighting any Members, and very few comments anywhere on the network. I was so disappointed, but also cognizant of the fact that it's hard to resist the mesmerizing green. We had a heart to heart and I think he's really going to make an effort over the next several months to be perhaps one of the best Members hopefully.
Don't Let The Greed Of Making Money Hurt Your Relationships
What is it about money that drives people crazy? Do I have a totally warped sense of money because I've never really had to worry about money before? Maybe, but I certainly wasn't wealthy growing up.
One time, I snuck my parents car out during monsoon season. A couple of hubcaps fell off and my parents didn't even notice! That's how middle class I was.
I'm one who believes that anybody who wants to make a buck can make a buck. This is my optimism speaking.
I'm afraid of what money can do to people. And, I'm afraid of what money can make people do. I see people's personalities change as soon as income is introduced in the equation. More often than not I'm dismayed by the outcome.
Thus, I'm trying to figure out how we can make a healthy living without money getting in the way of friendships. Is it possible? I don't know for sure, but I'll keep trying because I care about people too much to stop.
Further Reading
- What’s A Middle Class Income? Bet You Don’t Know!
- Personal Capital Cash: A High-Yielding Savings Account With $1.25 Million FDIC Insurance Coverage
- Someone Stole My Credit Card – What To Do?
- Your Investment Mistake May Actually Be An Investment Win
- Net Worth Optimization Exercise: Don’t Neglect Valuable Assets
- Why You Should Not Retire Early – Big Brother Won’t Likey
Maybe you can share your thoughts. Has making money ever got in the way of your relationships?
Regards,
Sam
PS, If you think it's you in the post, don't worry, it's not you.
Nice blog post. One of the best I read recently. I’m new into blogging and feel I would love share some contents here.
So what I would do briefly is talk about Affiliate marketing.
Affiliate marketing is promoting products and getting commission from it…
You don’t have to own a Product before you can sell. It’s simple, join an affiliate program with your desired niche and then choose an offer to promote. A lot of people are having success with this while a lot too haven’t made even a sale… As I will still tell you making money online is not easy if you are just starting… It will take some time for you to start getting persistent income… Maybe some months but depending on how serious you are… But I can still oppose that statement… You want to know why? If you want to succeed in a business, you must have money and if you don’t, you should be ready to put in time… You can’t start a free business and start making tons of money immediately. There’s no magic here If you go for courses and then learn from top affiliates, you will earn faster… That’s why I always recommend people to go for courses… The truth about it is that there’s no vital information free… So if you feel you have where to get free information to start getting successful then seriously you are only deceiving yourself… Schools are not free and even some are free, money must still be involved in something or another. That’s to show the value of knowledge. I’m promoting a course it’s very vital check this link out if you want to gain more knowledge.
Steps to take when starting affiliate marketing.
1. Finding a niche (it can be health or fitness or e-commerce etc…) but I’m into weight-loss which is under health and also run e commerce niche too… It’s cool promoting a weight-loss products there are lot of people that need it… Ecommerce too… You need it that’s why you are reading this and also lot of people too out there want to make money this.
2. Finding method to promote and scaling your traffic. The most important thing is your traffic. That’s where money is from. The customers, people who will buy the product or perform some action like leads… Some affiliate network pay per lead… Those are called cap meaning cost per action… But the one I deal on is cps which is called cost per sale… Money is much here… I always choose the one with more money.
3. finding the right audience: now after you’ve got the right product to you promote, you will need to find the right people to promote the products to. There are mainly two ways marketers do it.;
Free advertising
Paid advertising
I was wondering why Punch Debt in the Face was so contrite recently. (KIDDING!!!)
I appreciate that you cared enough to take the time and talk to the person in question. Mentoring someone is a great gift.
There are people in the group that I feel more of an affinity to because of their support. I go out of my way to try to give them as much or more. Loyalty is earned!
We cannot blame some people who actually adore money. They may have some bad memories growing up without money and they don’t want that to happen again. But that is not an excuse for doing something bad just for the sake of having money. All we have to do is respect them as we want to be respected in return.
DEAR G-D ….TELL ME IT AIN’T ME.
I’ll be good…..
I promise……I’ll be good from now on!
JUST TELL ME YOU STILL LOVE ME…….AUGHHHHHHH
Like i said, if you’re reading this post, it ain’t you! Besides, you haven’t stopped by the forums once, so it’s all good!
I’ve seen it tear families apart as well. Relational dynamics change when money gets involved. It takes a lot of maturity to see past it.
“I’m afraid of what money can make people do”… Have you seen The Money Masters (film 1995)? Its insane what people can do for money.
Nope ,haven’t seen it. I’ll go see it if it is a great movie! Let me know. I already know what money does to people, which is why I feel like I’m in a pickle, b/c there is always the ability to make so much, and much more than one needs.
But, I’m happy to say I’ve found a way to create a positive scenario this November!
Sam, it’s our nature. If we were completely honest with ourselves, we’d see our selfishness shining through like the morning sun.
Even our greatest intentions are drenched with pride, selfishness and ego. What that means, however, is that we must fight those motivations and continually do an honest evaluation of our own hearts.
Posts like this help us to take a step back and look at ourselves again, so Thank You!
JT
I agree with you Jason. We as humans have a tendency to be too self centered. Even the goal of acquiring wealth is often contrived out of selfishness nature. It’s not so much to help others as to feed our own ego and selfish desires. It is much more difficult to build a true friendship than to make a few bucks.
Yeah, unfortunately it’s the case, but I believe we can fight that tendency. I’ve been challenged by a definition of true love recently that I heard – true love is “self giving for the good and joy of another”. Boy, do I have a long way to go!
That’s very profound! We all do.
Indeed Jason. Part of the reason why I don’t share my income, wealth or anything is b/c it would simply be a distraction to the topics and discussion at hand. Furthermore, part of the reason why I blog under a pen name is b/c I don’t want ego to get in the way when ego does ultimately come out sometimes. I’d like to see the content stand on its own. It takes longer this way probably, but that is my preference.
I think it’s hard for people to put their own self-interests aside. It’s like the old saying of not seeing the forest through the trees. I can see how some people would be tempted to go for the quick score and to hell with actually participating and helping others. But those of us who do build relationships will come out far ahead in the end as we ride the rising tide together. Those who are only interested in themselves will fall off.
I wonder about this one. I have a slightly different twist. (Maybe this IS about me…..)
I believe it’s fine to focus on money AS LONG AS YOU HELP OTHERS along the way.
As our blogs become more successful, it’s more difficult to LOOK for opportunities to serve…but that doesn’t relieve us from the obligation to help when asked.
Maybe this is a cope out.
I realize I’ve been less active in the group. I will make an effort to increase it. I do remain very open to being of service.
Generalisimo
very interesting post – isn’t it amazing that we work so hard to make money for “happiness” and our loved ones, yet it is the very same reason that causes most relationships to sour and fail. what has helped me is inner peace and contentment, which has come from a combination of my upbringing, life experiences, spirituality and the people around me in my life. i continue to pray that the evil side of money doesn’t ever get near me, that is why i do not chase it. i have found that focusing on relationships and excellence instead makes money chase you automatically.
Spirituality is important. Love to learn more about what your last line means “i have found that focusing on relationships and excellence instead makes money chase you automatically.”
the masses chase money with little regard for all else…..i have experienced that focusing on excellent (at whatever i do) makes money chase me rather the other way around. the same goes for relationships. focusing in harnessing and serving loved ones make them come closer to you. people often get distracted with so much in the environment around them. i have found that putting your passion into your career (or whatever it is that you do), and spending time with the few friends and family is the perfect recipe to attract all things good to you
Money does play a peculiar role in the social circles you keep. If your wealth and lifestyle is not consistent with your friends’, it begins to put a strain on the relationship. What may be an “inexpensive” restaurant for one party is an extravagance for another. The more I make, the more I feel I need to be conscious of these little things to maintain sensitivity with friends.
Money is crazy like that. Or rather, people are crazy like that for money.
Blogging for these past 7 months has taught me a lot about building relationships online. At first I was trying to do everything that people are “supposed” to do to make a decent blog. Money was never a concern of mine, but success was.
I was commenting just for the sake of commenting, and linking just for the sake of linking. I was trying to do things the “right” way. Luckily I built a few good relationships with other bloggers, but usually because they made the first move. The only thing I really liked about blogging was the writing part rather than the promoting and commenting part, because my heart was in the content but not in the marketing. Combined with that, I went through a move to a new place, and had some difficult issues, so my traffic grew at a fairly mediocre rate as a result of a lack of passion.
But I’ve since re-visioned my promotion efforts. For these last two months I’ve really stepped up the time I spent writing content, and for this past month I’ve become a lot more intentional about building blog relationships. Instead of trying to do everything the “right” way, and wind up doing it with sheer mediocrity instead, I’m focusing on doing it MY way. Targeting blogs I really like and commenting and promoting them, rather than doing it mindlessly to everything I come across. Focusing on certain things rather than everything. Quality over quantity. So far it’s been working pretty well.
Sounds good mate. Whatever you think is the right way that you are comfortable with is fine. It’s good to read your comments. You can’t do everything and be everywhere. It’s just not possible. You’ll have to pick your poison as they say!
Money is such a touchy thing. It definitely makes some people crazy, and it can often control us more than we want it to. The older I get the more I come to understand Buddhist teachings though, which I had very limited exposure to growing up. I really think the more we have the more we have to lose and the more worries we can accumulate. Simplicity is peaceful, relaxing, and in a lot of ways happiness too. Making money can be extremely rewarding too though, esp. when given the opportunity to help someone and watching a savings account build up for the future. Even though I lost a lot of money in the downturn it really made me realize how I didn’t need lots of material things to feel good though. Cutting off my non essential shopping became more fulfilling than the thrill of getting something new.
Desire is the root of all evil!
@Financial Samurai Deleted my comment?! See if I ever comment here again… :-)
Indeed. Surprised you actually came and commented in the first place. It went with some 120+ spam posts today. Guess the title “Making Money” attracts a lot of spam!
@ Flexo, I think I deleted your comment by mistake. At any rate, it doesn’t matter b/c nobody knows who he is, he doesn’t visit here, and we’re on fine terms. I believe he’s going to be the most kicka&& member there is!
LOL “if you think this is you, it’s not you” Is it because the aforementioned blogger doesn’t visit other blogs to comment? =(
I try to be cognizant myself and not focus too much of things like that. Blogging is fun and rewarding because you meet other people who are like-minded and supportive, the extra cashola I think is just a bonus.
The few clicks I get on Google Adsense a day is enough to keep me excited. =)
Haha, cool. You are the first one to find the answer to my last phrase.
Going to the next level baby! Check out the forums today. Another opportunity, and for you!
I like finding your little “clues” in your posts =)
Cool, thanks for the heads up- just signed up!
With respect to blogging, I guess it depends on one’s current employment and why he/she became a blogger in the first place.
With me, I read personal finance blogs for years before I started doing it on my own. I love everything about the pf community. I’m constantly amazed by the intelligent thoughtful comments by our pf readers out there, and the nuggets of wisdom to be gain out there.
But I’m going okay financially, I’m not rich, but nor am I poor. Like many other bloggers out there like me, I feel like I’m a champion of the middle classes. I’m one of them and I was raised in a middle class community. I’m trying to help them get ahead above all else…
But, if I were poor and trying to get ahead, I would be focused on the “oh mighty” dollar! I would be doing anything I could to cover the Maslow’s needs heirarchy that I am deficient in.
So for me the Yakezie group is about community, education and teamwork… The charity aspect while very noble and respectable, is just icing on the cake! :)
Sounds good Don. I will tell you that the Yakezie Scholarship vertical in my opinion is going to be THE CAKE and not just the icing. I think we can make a difference in the offline world, and keep the spirit alive, forever.
Oh yeah, I’m not doubting that! The Scholarship will be great too… I’m just saying I enjoy everybody’s company :)
I honestly think it’s just a matter of time before a big media type comes in to do a story about Yakezie! I mean, it is such a great story!
I think we talked about this before off your blog before, but I don’t think you should be shocked. Most people aren’t good at creating mutually beneficial relationships, networking and business in general so why assume that someone understands how to run their business properly.
Don’t remember.
Don’t understand your comment on “how to run their business properly.” You mean how to be a good citizen? Sorry, pls clarify.
Being a good citizen is different then being a productive one.
If you look in general most of relationships get affected by money. It happens in every area of your life – work, family, marriages, dating, friends. I think money is such a huge determining factor of quality of life that it overshadows everything else. I watched my friends’ marriages collapse because of money issues. My own relationship was affected my money. I guess we have to raise a question what is more important in life – people or money. We build our lives depending on our answers to this question.
Exactly, which is why it’s always difficult to discuss money if there are many different people who answer “this question” differently. I’m very worried what will happen in November……… hence I have found a way to rise above it all! Wait and see.
Well, I wonder if part of it is that people are searching for money now. I think some people think that blogging is a way to make ‘quick money’. Of course, we all know that is not true, but for someone new, they may be learning the ropes. They may also be desperate, perhaps they lost a job, who knows. Or, maybe I am being too nice and they just want cash for the sake of having cash!
The best part for me about blogging has been the relationships. Thank God I am not focusing on the money or I would be sorely disappointed. Each day I wake up looking forward to see what all my pals are up to!
Money has caused friction in relationships since the beginning of time, and I don’t think it will stop. It has ruined families and come between best friends. Therefore, I am not surprised at all that it would affect people online.
No kidding. If I focused on making money, and writing insipid affiliate money posts all the time, I’d never have survived.
I keep trying to tell folks in blogging that if you focus on writing what you want to read, build relationship, and have fun, the money WILL come.
I do think people and building friendships is the most important, but also don’t overlook the fact that a certain amount of greed is good. A little greed motivates us to go to work everyday and things like that. Greed just shouldn’t be the ONLY reason.
It’s probably much harder for people who’ve had little to no money all their lives, who are now realizing the power of the Internet as a means to supplement their (small) income. It’s like a drug they can’t resist.
But like most of the rest of life, if you try too hard to make money online, you won’t make any money. Funny how that works…
Sam or anyone for this matter,
I’m trying to interpret this:
“One time, I snuck my parents car out during monsoon season and a couple of hubcaps fell off and my parents didn’t even notice! That’s how middle class I was.”
I keep getting my head wrapped around it. What’s the correlation. Can you expound? Otherwise, great thought-provoking article.
Just means we drove such a hunk of junk that even after losing two hubcaps, my parents had no idea bc the car was so crappy. Thecar was metal color, bc it had little paint!
I believe it’s not necessarily about money but more about the fact that there is a reward. Money is simply one type of reward. As with any reward, people can be tempted to go the easy route if there is low-dangling fruit within reach.
In any group and community network, reciprocity is important. In any relationship as well. If one side is giving and the other side is taking it can feel unbalanced. However, if both sides give, both sides end up better off, and both sides get rewarded. The important thing for people to keep in mind is that they are most likely better off if they reciprocate instead of trying to take advantage.
I think he realizes that. Money is a reward, but money is a SCARY reward imo. It doesn’t crazy things to normal people… which is why I don’t like to focus too much about my money, or making money online or anything. It changes people.
Well, the thing about seeing dollar signs is that it can invoke a bit of lust and greed. I agree with you there.
It’s kind of ironic that Kontera is linking “Making money online” in your comment here, given the subject. :P
Is it? Nice! I’ve got more spam with the title “Making Money” than I’ve ever got before. Guess it’s a big topic on the web! Maybe i’ll just have to write more about the subject now lol.
It’s me right? :-)
For me, I’ve been trying to make comments and posts on Yakezie. I’m getting pulled in different directions and it’s hard at times. At least for me I tend to make comments if it adds value and not for the sake of commenting. ie “yea I agree.” “Thanks for your post” types of comments really serve no purpose.
It ain’t you. If you’re reading this post, it ain’t you as I wrote at the end. Figure that one out! :)
I know it was a joke. ;-)
Sorry, it actually is you.
Some people are driven by money. Others, by a desire to be a good person and help people. Some by both, and others by neither.
It raises an interesting philosophical question. What is better: An informative and entertaining blog that truly helps a lot of people with their financial situation written by someone who only wants to earn money, or a blog that isn’t as good at helping people written by someone with good intentions?
I’d like motives to be pure, but if someone can do a lot of good during his pursuit of money, that’s still more good than someone who only wants to help people but isn’t as successful.
If a blog is truly to be run as a biz, profit should be the motivator. If it’s for fun, than no. That’s not to say you shouldn’t establish relationships. I look at it this way. No person has been successful just by themselves. It takes the works of others.
Well if someone’s giving away money would you take it? Not everyone is going to fit in with every groups philosophy. With that, you’re going to have people that can take advantage of a group. That will end the end cause more restrictions and the group to change from its original intentions. But the point you made, which is a good one, is that if you care enough then other peoples intentions don’t matter.
Everyone’s different. I don’t believe money would change my ways but other people might be changed. That’s just the variety that is human.
Wrong attitude. Which is why if you or someone has this attitude, you don’t belong in the group. There are plenty of other groups to join, just not the Yakezie.
It depends on what you mean by “relationship”. The guy from the Yakezie challenge might have thought that sending a few emails here and there, commenting on other blogs and tweet a few articles doesn’t make a relationship with someone else.
I have tons of “online friends” but online friends are not as closed as any of my “real life friends” ;-).
On the other side, if you really want to make money, you will need to treat people with more respect. As true friendship is hard to earn, high and sustainable level of income is the same. You can’t make a lot of money during several years by taking the easy route. Sooner or later it will catch up.
So making connections (I don’t call them true friend) and making money are easy to do but building strong relationship and building a steady high income flow are tough to acheive.
I would say that many online relationships are actually much stronger than the occasional real life relationship.
Writing letters in the old days use to be the most powerful relationship builders. Now we write letters everyday, multiple times a day!
interesting point of view (I agree about the letters), but how many people do you really know online?
By knowing them, I mean, what they do, what they like, what that makes them upset, what they have been through, etc.
For example, would you lend an online friend 10K with no interest? Would they wake you up at night because they need to talk. I’m not sure I would do it with most of my “online friends” but I would do it with a few of my “true” friends.
Lending money to people in general is a different situation. But, I would probably lend money to around 5 online folks 10K no problem.
I guess I’m just more open and trusting then you Mike. I am the optimist. To each their own.
Sam, I think this may be troubling indeed. If someone primarily concerned about his pocketbook rather than helping others, then money and helping can be mutually exclusive. It probably boils down to priorities. Building relationships takes work, and some people are more natural at it than others. That said, you are right that it doesn’t take much to press the RT button on a post that you find interesting (if you are indeed reading them).
It seems that with a venture like this, it is harder to excel if you aren’t concerned about others, so maybe the problem is self-limiting.
Indeed. It’s always tempting to take the easy route. Relationship building is hard. But I can see as CLEAR AS DAY who are the ones who try, and ones who don’t. You do an excellent job with your wraps, which is much appreciated by all!
I agree with your take Sam. Interestingly, I’ve always found building relationships not only to be more personally fulfilling and enriching, but more profitable. When you genuinely help people and get to know them, they usually are happy to return the favor.
For example, I did some free work for someone because I believe in their product and goals. When the work was over; I moved on. Not too long after, an paid opportunity came up and they thought of me. Great pay and the same work that I enjoyed doing.
It doesn’t always work out that way, but many of my best clients have started that way.
That is great, and you definitely have the right spirit Elle! If everybody just realized the simple tenet of it’s better to give than receive, they’ll be overwhelmed with opportunities down the road.
Sam,
The irony is that this type of thinking is so short sighted. It may also be an age thing. When I was younger, I had no idea how important relationships would be in my professional life. You are a great role model in the blogging world.
Just about all my job offers within the company (and some externally), have been because someone knew not only my work ethic, but also knew I was easy to work with. All things being equal, you’ll pick the candidate you like personally vs a stranger.
No one likes feeling used. I’m glad you provided this person some mentoring. Rock on.
That’s great to hear about your referrals! Referrals are indeed the MOST powerful type of ins.
I like to take things slow. It’s important as there will undoubtedly be growing pains which need addressing.
Money is only a means to the end, which is having a fulfilled life in my case. But to some, money is the end. I find it kind of sad if you confine your life to making money (only?) but we all make our individual choices. Kudos to you for keeping on top of your network!
It’s hard to keep on top of, and I understand not everybody shares my same thoughts. I do believe we all share some similar goals and are going in the same direction.