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The Financial Samurai Podcast Episode 3: Men Of McLean

Updated: 03/25/2021 by Financial Samurai 26 Comments

Financial Samurai Podcast

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Dear Readers and Listeners,

My favorite podcasts are National Public Radio style monologues. I really enjoy the methodical and soothing voice of NPR speakers. I plan to emulate their style over time.

I also want to continue to practice storytelling. We all grew up listening to stories as kids, and I don’t think there’s a more effective way to connect and teach than through storytelling. I could tell you to do XYZ and explain ABC in my podcasts, but I think such instructions might be better suited towards writing.

I hope these podcasts make your commute or your exercise routine a little less painful.

You can see my Libsyn Financial Samurai Podcast feed and page here.

Subscribe to one of these channels to get the latest podcast episode. The below episode is one I did in 2014.

****

Today’s podcast explores why men have a difficult time expressing their feelings, and how men constantly feel the pressure to conform to society’s expectations. Such constriction not only negatively affects men, but also negatively affects women as well.

It’s funny how nobody every talks about men’s issues, even though we make up half the world’s population. Why is this?

WHY MEN SUFFER IN SILENCE OUTLINE

* What does it mean to be a man?

* Why it’s important to allow men to be themselves to bring more happiness to women.

* A story of why my high school let NOW live, but MOM die.

* The solution to gender income inequality, and my attempt to figure out why some women don’t want men to gain equality to help the family.

* A discussion on the problems that result from men not being able to open up.

* Three tips for people who are unable to express their feelings and be themselves.

If you are a woman who believes this podcast does not pertain to you, think again. One of the best ways to understand men is to listen to the problems and issues they go through. We’re all in this together!

Subscribe To Financial Samurai On iTunes

I’ve created a Financial Samurai iTunes channel to subscribe to. This way, if you prefer listening, you can always get the latest audio version delivered directly to your iPhone. As of now, the channel can only carry the latest five podcasts.

Further, I’ve created a Financial Samurai Podcast Page that has every single podcast I’ve published, including the links to the respective posts. Bookmark it or search for it in my search box. I’ll be updating this page once a week.

Related Posts:

How To Convince Your Spouse To Work Longer So You Can Retire Earlier

Stay At Home Men Of The World, UNITE!

My Fear Of Becoming A Father

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Filed Under: Podcast

Author Bio: I started Financial Samurai in 2009 to help people achieve financial freedom sooner. Financial Samurai is now one of the largest independently run personal finance sites with about one million visitors a month.

I spent 13 years working at Goldman Sachs and Credit Suisse. In 1999, I earned my BA from William & Mary and in 2006, I received my MBA from UC Berkeley.

In 2012, I left banking after negotiating a severance package worth over five years of living expenses. Today, I enjoy being a stay-at-home dad to two young children, playing tennis, and writing.

Order a hardcopy of my new WSJ bestselling book, Buy This, Not That: How To Spend Your Way To Wealth And Freedom. Not only will you build more wealth by reading my book, you’ll also make better choices when faced with some of life’s biggest decisions.

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Comments

  1. Edna says

    December 21, 2018 at 10:29 am

    I saw your post about the awful doctor.
    She was awful to me too!
    You should contact Sutter about her.

    Reply
    • Financial Samurai says

      December 21, 2018 at 10:31 am

      Oh yeah? What happened with you? And how did you end up finding the post and commenting on this post which is irrelevant to the doctor?

      Reply
  2. Virginia says

    November 6, 2014 at 5:21 pm

    This is a really great podcast and seems like it would be really hard to do. I laughed when I first heard your voice because I had read your comment that you were trying to emulate NPR and you did a pretty good job.

    I’ve heard a couple of these podcasts and have a few suggestions to make your next one even better. Perhaps you could include an interview with an expert or another speaker. It just breaks things up to have more than one voice. Also, see if you can draw on any research or statistics. Also, if you could include any music, even if it is just a few notes, I think that would make it sound real polished.

    Anyway, very nice. I like the topic too and totally agree that men should be encouraged to participate in women’s rights movements. I think we need to stop defining gender roles. General trends exist but people should find what works best for themselves, even if it isn’t “traditional”.

    I heard on the radio the other day that home depot was suffering because men weren’t “manly” anymore and weren’t fixing things around the house like they used to. This may be true, but men are also spending much more time with their families than they used to which I think is way more important and it shows a change in how people prioritize things that are important to them.

    Reply
    • Financial Samurai says

      November 6, 2014 at 6:47 pm

      Thanks for the feedback. I hear you on a melodic intro and outro. I’m just too lazy to figure out how to do it at this moment. And if something is hard to do, I tend to abandon everything so I figure better to just get good enough out there.

      Interesting anecdote on Home Depot! Such funny knock effects.

      Reply
    • Ace says

      November 7, 2014 at 5:02 pm

      Well….. You can involve the whole family in home repairs/remodeling. Judging by the “DIY” channel; it looks like women wearing blue-jeans and swinging hammers is kind of a sexy look!

      Reply
  3. Robin says

    November 6, 2014 at 8:28 am

    Excellent podcast! Men are 49%+ of the population–how can a society prevent conversations, expression, etc. without society as a whole suffering?

    I’m a vet(erinarian). I see men with their beloved pets, often cats, and they are embarrassed or ashamed to show emotion even at their pet’s final hour. It causes me pain, not only because of the loss of the animal, but also because he feels that even in this case, emotion is taboo. It hurts my heart for both of them!

    (Disclaimer: I am a woman and I live in McLean (Langley).

    Reply
    • Financial Samurai says

      November 6, 2014 at 9:32 am

      Oh wow… that must be so difficult. My pet died earlier this year and I was so distraught. He actually died in my arms. The pain was so great I question ever getting a pet again.

      Thank you for sharing your perspective!

      Reply
  4. Untemplater says

    November 5, 2014 at 6:39 pm

    Great job on your latest podcast! I had a few good laughs and also glad you touched on more serious and real problems we are facing in society today.

    I’m a big advocate for more honest communication and letting people feel safer and unafraid to open up about their feelings for both men and women. It’s refreshing to know there are men out there like yourself who are raising awareness and encouraging other men not to feel forced or pressure to suppress their feelings and fears. More communication and being true to our feelings as both men and women will help us all!

    Reply
    • Financial Samurai says

      November 6, 2014 at 10:45 am

      Thanks Sydney. I’ve noticed as I get older, and other men get older, we care LESS about image and trying to conform as much. I think it’s because we gain more experience, confidence, and money. But sometimes that takes a long time to get to.

      Reply
  5. Ace says

    November 5, 2014 at 6:21 pm

    Sam,

    You are fighting culture. But, also, men are wired differently.

    Men nurture in different ways. I know this first hand. I raised a daughter as a single dad. In that way….. I’m kind of unique. Anyway, as a parent, you do what you have to do. And hope tomorrow is a better day.

    Reply
    • Financial Samurai says

      November 5, 2014 at 6:39 pm

      In what way are men wired differently though? Is that not the same society default attitude that makes men confirm to a certain way of being?

      Reply
      • Ace says

        November 5, 2014 at 7:35 pm

        Well….. First off… I’m not going to be interested in joining any silly social group in order to discuss my “hurt” feelings. That has almost “zero” practical value to a typical male.

        Yes…. Men are complicated, and they are emotional (even when guys try hard to hide it). But more importantly….. Men are problem solvers. Or at least, they try to be problem solvers. I think that often, women actually enjoy sharing both positive & negative emotions in a social setting. Most men…. Not so much.

        For most guys, that kind of activity amounts to: “what’s the point?”

        And women are not attracted to whiny men. So genetics are in play here.

        Reply
        • Financial Samurai says

          November 5, 2014 at 8:41 pm

          Don’t worry Ace. You can join my man group and we will all be in a comfortable place. A circle of trust over steak dinners, and good single malt whiskey and cigars.

          Reply
      • Ace says

        November 5, 2014 at 7:47 pm

        Perhaps this MD’s observations might be enlightening:

        https://www.zerotothree.org/child-development/early-development/how-men-and-children-affect.html

        Reply
  6. Christine says

    November 5, 2014 at 6:09 pm

    Here’s some news about deciding to be a stay at home dad:
    https://venturebeat.com/2014/11/01/why-linkedins-chris-saccheri-quit-his-powerful-job-to-be-a-stay-at-home-dad-lnkd/

    Perhaps one day it won’t be news.. haha! Imagine reading an article.. “Woman decides to leave workforce to become stay at home mom” ;)

    Reply
  7. Done by Forty says

    November 5, 2014 at 3:33 pm

    I like the narrative voice you’re using in the podcast, Sam. These sort of gender issues have long been near and dear to my heart. Issues of equality re: the decision to not work, equal parental leave, and the roles of men in the household are of great importance to me, especially as I plan on retiring early and taking on additional household roles re: raising our children.

    When discussing these issues, and the general idea of male gender issues, I have ironically received the most pushback from ardent feminists. I’ll never forget the comment I got the first time I worked up the courage to discuss these ideas of male gender roles publicly. The woman sitting across from me said, “You’re arguing for White History Month, and don’t even realize it.”

    Reply
    • Financial Samurai says

      November 5, 2014 at 4:49 pm

      Whoah, that’s kinda concerning. What is a guy supposed to do but suffer in silence.

      Reply
  8. Henry @ Living At Home says

    November 5, 2014 at 1:05 pm

    Wow, I didn’t know you had a podcast! I will definitely give it a listen! =)

    Reply
  9. Jason says

    November 5, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    I loved this Sam, it’s sort of validated how I feel about relationships, particularly about opening up.

    That’s the number 1 reason I fell in love with my now wife – she is the most incredibly open, honest person I’ve ever met, but even more so, she’s really brought that out in me too. You could say she’s almost transformed me, and it’s just awesome. Now when I hear about people who aren’t completely open or don’t share everything with their partner or other friends, I feel shocked, but it’s so common.

    I’ve actually always loved catching up with friends one on one, rather than in groups as you say most guys do, and particularly talking about life, goals, challenges etc. I’ve always felt a little odd about this, and probably because of what you highlighted with society not really supporting it, but your podcast certainly makes me feel good about it :)

    Reply
  10. Marco says

    November 5, 2014 at 11:25 am

    Sam – This was an awesome podcast! Wow, you hit some very good points, especially the one about how it’s harder for men to express themselves as much as women. I agree that it’s very much a cultural thing. I wonder if it’s a bit biological too based on how men and women are wired?

    I agree that writing is a great way for anyone to get some of their anxieties off their chests. I started keeping a journal when I was 22 and I’m over 40 now! The talking to women is a great tip too, as I’ve always felt fortunate anytime I could get a women’s perspective on a situation. They do have a particular sense that most men just don’t have. Like my Sicilian grandma used to always say, “Women are like cats, men are like dogs!”

    Reply
    • Financial Samurai says

      November 5, 2014 at 11:30 am

      Cheers Marco. Thanks for listening. I don’t know how much differently men and women are wired.

      But I do know plenty of guys who wanted to write, sing, dance, act, skate, who didn’t pursue their dreams because other guys would make fun of them for doing so. I think this causes a lot of pent up resentment and anger, which may unfortunately spillover towards women.

      I just don’t know why men aren’t allowed to feel as much. It’s kind of sad.

      Reply
  11. Christine says

    November 5, 2014 at 10:39 am

    My dad went to a women’s rights group when he was in university. He went with my mom – at the time his girlfriend. They got kicked out because “no men allowed!”. That attitude has been around for a while. I agree you should include men in these discussions!

    Reply
    • Financial Samurai says

      November 5, 2014 at 11:25 am

      It’s kinda weird not to include men in these discussion, especially if men are viewed as the “bad guys” or the cause for certain problems. An open dialogue is healthy.

      Reply
  12. Larse says

    November 5, 2014 at 9:53 am

    Good point about allowing men to be themselves to help gender equality. Not sure why it’s so taboo for men to show expression. There would perhaps be much more empathy with women, and better dialogue and relationships as a result.

    Reply
  13. David D says

    November 5, 2014 at 6:11 am

    Please include the link to the podcast. Thanks!

    Reply
    • Financial Samurai says

      November 5, 2014 at 6:58 am

      Posted! For some reason, WordPress boots out the link once the post is published from a schedule. Weird bug.

      Reply

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