Are you a man if you cannot take care of your family? Are you noble, if you do not have a job and let your wife slave away at the office, so you can latch onto her healthcare insurance, and eat the bacon she brings home? Hell yeah brothers! Stay at home men of the world, unite!
The beauty of equality is that we men don’t have to work the majority of our lives away anymore.
We can be the homemakers, and be proud of it too! With our big muscles, we can re-arrange the living room furniture with ease. Being relatively taller, we can change fire alarm batteries every year without fear of breaking our necks.
When the general contractor comes over to remodel the bathroom, ladies can rest assured we men are less likely to get scammed by superfluous charges, such as a $1,000 wonder wall replacement.
And when the cable guy comes, you can also breathe easy knowing that we aren’t going to have a romantic encounter either! I mean, how many times have you ever had a cable gal come over? Never!
IS EARLY RETIREMENT CHEATING IF YOU HAVE A WORKING SPOUSE?
I’ve noticed an extraordinary trend over the past couple of years.
The trend is that more and more men are desiring to retire early. In some cases, as early as 25! Let’s be honest, writing about retiring in your 20’s and 30’s is a gimmick.
These guys aren’t going to sit back on the beach and get rubbed all day. Nope. They are going to try and develop some side hustle income and take care of the kids. The kick in the shins is they think their wives will be happy with their plan!
Just like sleeping with the hostess at your favorite steak house is bad, so is telling everyone you are retired while your wife still works to support the family!
See: How To Convince Your Wife To Retire Earlier
Why Wives Won’t Accept Working Forever If The Husband Doesn’t
* When you see someone relaxing, you too want to relax! It’s human nature to want what other people have. Do you really think your wife will be happy with working 40-50 hours a week while you lounge in your underwear all day at home? Only if her job makes her 100% happy, which we know will never happen. I would venture to guess the best jobs are liked by people 70%-80% of the time at most, which leaves 20-30% of dissatisfaction.
* Men will start to get lazy. It’s not in our nature to cook, clean, wash the dishes, and change diapers. We are hunters and love to play games! Eventually, we’ll stop being as consistent with our cooking and cleaning, and our wives will notice! We’ll get the wrong garnish at the grocery store, and our wives will blow their tops! Men are doomed towards laziness and women will realize this sooner or later.
* Women get jealous. You think men get jealous? Oh my, women get crazy jealous! There’s something about women where they must fend all other women away. Every woman is looked at suspiciously, especially the attractive ones who enter their man’s lives. Women probably get jealous because men make them jealous. Men like to hunt remember! And that includes other women.
* We must suffer together. Again, it’s human nature that one can’t enjoy more than another. Unless you are getting paid millions for getting a massage, there is suffering at work. It can be the commute, the boss, the annoying colleague who eats boiled eggs for breakfast, whatever. If your wife is suffering, she wants you to suffer too!
Once you combine laziness, relaxation, and jealousy, it’s GAME OVER! Your woman will start to resent you, and at the very least desire to stay at home and experience what you have. Don’t kid yourselves guys! We must have a plan, and saying you are retiring early while you have a working spouse is not one!
How To Convince Your Woman Into Letting You Retire Early
* Talk about your dreams and ambitions. Women love a man with ambition. In fact, some say that men with ambition are sexier than red velvet cake! Fill your woman’s ear with sweet plans of world domination. You can talk about building your online empire or your desire to become a real estate magnate. Whatever it is, your woman wants details, and wants to hear your enthusiasm.
* Always carry a smartphone. Even if you’re sleeping in until 10am, make sure you have a smartphone to insta-respond to text messages when she checks in on you during her work breaks. If you don’t respond within 15 minutes max, she’s going to start wondering whether you’re smoking her cigarettes, playing Xbox with 15 year olds, cavorting with other women, and get pissed! She might also figure out that you’re sleeping in, like the lazy man that you are!
* Show encouragement. Tell her you are proud of her accomplishments at work at least once a week. Most people don’t really care as much about the money as they do about recognition for good work done. Just tell her once a week how proud you are for her doing so well at the company. Tell her you admire her work ethic. Tell her you believe she will go places, and really mean it.
* Promise foot massages and gorilla loving. What does every tired, working woman want after she comes home? Not you! And that’s because you don’t promise her foot massages and gorilla loving! I don’t know how women can stand walking in even 1 inch heels, let alone 2 or 3 inches heels all day. If you promise a foot massage and 3 minutes of McLovin afterwards, I’m sure she’ll let you play War Craft all night long!
* Tell her you’re doing it for us. “Us” is the key word here. You might be someone who is lazy without any backbone to stick it out in the corporate world and make friends. And you know what? That’s OK, because work sucks a lot of the time! You’re disrespected, underpaid, and unrecognized. Nobody wants that. It’s important to reassure your woman that you’re working on your dreams to create a better lifestyle for both of you. Re-emphasize not only the potential of your business, but your ability to handle all the house work.
I love our society’s push for equality. Even though we are heading in the right direction, we aren’t there yet! Women still get paid less then men on average, and you don’t see much diversity in senior management positions. If we men want to retire early and have our lovely wives do all the work for us while we eat pizza and watch football, we must support our women 1000%!
Related: Man Up Dads! Time To Be Better Fathers
START A WEBSITE ALREADY
I’m proud to say that I’ve been a stay at home man since 2012 when I left my corporate job for good! Why? Because Financial Samurai, a site I started in 2009 is generating a healthy income stream to allow me to do whatever I want.
If you enjoy writing, creating, connecting with people online, and enjoying more freedom, see how you can set up a WordPress blog in 15 minutes with Bluehost. You never know where the journey will take you. I was able to travel to Cambodia, Malaysia, Taiwan, Korea, and Vietnam for four weeks while running my online business.
Starting a website is the best lifestyle move I’ve ever made, and it could be for you too!
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I’ve told my husband many times over the past few years that he doesn’t have to work if he doesn’t want to. Right now, he is working two lower-paying jobs just because he likes them, but the plan is for him to be a stay-at-home dad once we have kids, something that he’s looking forward to and I think he will be great at.
Though I agree with many of the things you said, “wage gap” is a myth created by the left to further demonize us men.
If my wife had to work while I stayed at home, I would be momentarily happy and long-term depressed. EVERYONE should work, even infants can be well-paid paperweights.
Missed this one the first time but saw it on your Best Of list. I think I’ll leave this up on the computer so she’ll see it the next time she’s on. I have no problem with my wife working and making more than me. And now that we have a 10 month old, I’m considering being a stay at home dad like Adam more and more every day.
Jason, good on yah mate!
It’s a two step process to first convince the wife, and then to convince other guys that it’s OK for men to stay at home too!
Enjoy your baby!
Amen, brother! Amen! I have been a stay at home dad of a two year old and an 8 month old for the last year. The looks that I get at the grocery store from other moms as I tickle my kids’ bellies is priceless. The first question I am asked is “So, today must be your day off?” “No,” I reply, “I do this every day.” It’s funny how stay-at-home dads are presumed to be unemployed men who cannot find a job, while stay-at-home moms are just that – stay-at-home moms. The truth is that my wife and I decided that it would be best for our family if I temporarily left my career to support hers and my children. At least I will always have the support and mutual respect of my fellow Junior Leaguers here in Newport Beach. Although my suggestion for a beer pong and mud wrestling fundraiser did not go over as well as I had hoped…
Awesome! Hurry up and do so before she CHANGES HER MIND! For some reason, lots of women change their mind after only several years, or after they have kids. Donno why that is!
Indeed! In anything, there is give and take. I think all woman would accept this proposal by men!
The fact is that my husband is just a better suited SAHD. He is better at talking to the baby for hours on end, better at being patient. That being said, both of us suck at cleaning, and our house is always a mess. I’m better at cooking, but that’s because I like it.
If I was able to get a job I loved making tons of money that allowed my husband to stay at home with the kids, I totally would while they were young. As they got older, he wouldn’t be content to not have anything to do while the kids are at school – so he would definitely get a job or start a consulting business.
Ahh, patience is a virtue. Time for you to hurry up and make the big bucks then Kris!
I think it would be cool to do at some point in my career IF I were living this life and had blogging on the side. I’d want to contribute in some way, always have some sort of entrepreneurial gig. While being at home w the kids is daunting at first (I have them alone for a girls’ weekend out or whatever), eventually you get in a routine and/or get bored, especially during naptime! I think in a different life, if I didn’t have some other outlet, it would be tough for me to be a stay at home dad.
Agreed. This blogging outlet has really helped us men consider different possibilities in life!
I love this post!
I have a life somewhat like you’re describing and it’s a pretty sweet gig. I always thought that I would go back to work for someone else when the kids got to be a certain age, and I did for a while, but I much, much prefer building something of my own. So I work at keeping the books for two small family businesses and growing my blog, and have started doing some community volunteering. And I still love making a home and take care of my family, even though the kids don’t need me in the same way they once did.
I have the greatest husband in the world…he just wants me to be happy. When I’m happy, he’s happy. It just so happens that he’s happiest when working for money and I’m happy on the home front.
Julie, sounds like a match made in heaven! That’s awesome you guys are so compatible this way. Really, I think it is wonderful. You would be a great partner for anyone!