Do you know what’s crazy? Spending $25,000 – $30,000 on the average cost of a wedding in America if you make a median household income of $52,000. What’s worse is going into debt to get married, especially since there’s a 50% chance it won’t last!
In many Asian countries, the parents of the bride foot the entire wedding bill because of the now backwards idea that the husband is “relieving” the parents of the financial costs of caring for their daughter. I can hear many Westerns scoffing at this way of thinking, but before the 1970s it was rare to have dual income households in America. One of my neighbors is a 30-something year old woman who still lives with her 55+ year old Chinese mother. Living with your parents until marriage is quite commonplace for many Asian and Hispanic cultures.
The one thing many Asian weddings have that Western weddings don’t have is the ability to make money during your wedding. I went to my friend’s wedding in Taipei and he actually made about $100,000 from his 50 table, 400 person wedding. The Chinese have a culture of giving monetary gifts in the form of red envelopes during weddings and Lunar New Year. If you are a business associate invited to the wedding, you better give at least $500-$1,000 or else you might not have much business left for the year!
In many Western countries, the parents of the groom pay for all wedding expenses. The thought process is that the groom’s parents are honored to have such a wonderful woman be their son’s life partner to love and care for him through sickness, health, wealth, and poverty. I like this thought process a lot, but as a son of middle class parents who went to a cheap public school, I would feel bad for my parents to pay. I’d rather pay the bill and have my parents keep their money to enjoy in retirement instead.
Finally, there’s a growing trend for many lovebirds to pay for the large majority of their wedding cost themselves. Out of the past five weddings I’ve attended, all five were predominantly paid for by the bride and groom. I’ve asked other 25-40 year olds and they’ve said the same thing. Perhaps parents might pay for the venue, or the flowers, but certainly not everything.
One of the main reasons why more wedding costs are born on the bride and groom is because they want their wedding to be a certain way. We’re much more picky and elaborate nowadays it seems. And if your parents are paying for everything, they may put a lot of pressure on you to do things their way instead of yours. This may affect the guest list, the location, the vendors, and more.