How To Get Boys If You Live At Home With Mom And Dad

Janet RenoDespite the government saying the economy is better and jobs are plentiful, you know they are lying. How? Because there are still grown adults living at home with mom and dad!  Furthermore, if you aren’t living at home with the ‘rents, then you certainly know people who do. As an equal opportunity blogger, I thought it appropriate after writing, “How To Get Girls If You Live At Home With Mom And Dad“, to also write the other version.

There are several assumptions in this post. First, you are likely under 35 years old, since there’s no such thing as a 35+ year old still living at home with their parents. Second, you don’t look like Jessica Alba or a sexy version of Hilary Clinton or Janet Reno. Third, you aren’t a princess with boku bucks to spend. Finally, you are likely female who likes boys and your name is not Jerry Sandusky!

STRATEGIES FOR GETTING BOYS WHEN LIVING AT HOME 

1) Post on your Facebook or Twitter page you are available and looking for love. You will immediately have all your stalker friends send you private messages declaring their love for you! At least 50% of your male friends will have secret crushes on you. They look at every picture album you post and every word you write on your wall. They are waiting, like a chipmunk in heat to pounce on the big bag of potato chips!

2) Before he comes over, tell him that your father is away on business. A boy’s worst nightmare is facing the father of the girl he’s trying to get with. If you’re trying to seal the deal, you’ve got to seriously put the boy’s mind at ease that he will not run into your father! Boys imagine fathers with shotguns, baseball bats, and machete knives waiting for them when they walk out of your bedroom. Assure the boy, and you will get him to come over.

3) Tell him what your mom likes. Boys think about wooing not only you, but your mom, but not doing your mom, let me be clear. So, if he knows your mom likes chocolate biscuits, he will get her some. The boy knows that if he can win over the mom, his life will be multiple times easier and can probably come over to the house without having to sneak in. The boy also knows that it’s practically impossible to win over the father, so he’s not going to pretend to try.

4) Talk about your dreams and ambitions.  Boys really don’t care if you live at home with your parents. We really don’t care, honest! Boys just want to spend time with you, preferably alone to launch the love session. You don’t have to feel embarrassed at all being a 27 year-old stay at home daughter. Instead, the more honest and open you are, the more the boy will want to rescue you from the palace. Boys have the damsel in distress thing wired in their brain as much as girls have the “I wanna be a princess” fantasy wired in theirs. The more distressed you are, the more he will want to save you!

5) Be willing to go on sleepovers. Boys love it when girls are willing to bring a backpack and sleep over at their place.  It makes a boy feel like a man, even if he does have two roomies and only one bathroom between the three.  By showing you are wiling to sleep over, you are demonstrating your trust in him. He will respect you deeply and tread lightly before pouncing like that chipmunk in heat. Just bring a tooth brush, facial wash, and your skimpy pajamas.

HOT OR NOT, IT DOESN’T MATTER

If you are really hot, the fact of the matter is, boys don’t really care if you live under a crickety old bridge next to the train tracks in a cardboard box. You’ve got it made since boys don’t think about how much money you make, what you do for a living, whether you own your own place, drive a nice car and other shallow things like that. Only girl think about that when dating a guy! All boys care about is whether you are attractive, nice, and won’t introduce them to your father. Beware of the father, please!

If you aren’t really hot, there’s no problem getting boys either. All you’ve got to do is identify those boys who still live at home with mom and dad! You see, boys who live at home with mom and dad are pretty insecure because society has put great pressure on them to succeed instantaneously. The pressure isn’t on getting married, it’s on getting a great job and doing something grand with their life so that one day, they will be able to get married and take care of a family.

If you just open up and say, “Hi, I find boys who live at home with their parents really attractive!” you will have a tremendous amount of pickings! Of course, you aren’t shallow and require boys to get jobs and become men by going out on their own. All you want is for a boy to love you back and accept you for who you are.

Readers, any other tips for how you can get boys if you live at home with mom and dad?

Photo: Janet Reno Baby!

Regards,

Dr. Sam Love

Sam started Financial Samurai in 2009 during the depths of the financial crisis as a way to make sense of chaos. After 13 years working on Wall Street, Sam decided to retire in 2012 to utilize everything he learned in business school to focus on online entrepreneurship.

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Comments

  1. says

    I don’t know, Sam. If a woman were to post this line on their Facebook: “Hi, I find boys who live at home with their parents really attractive!” I think that person would be opening up a can of worms! (or opening themselves up to possible psychos.) Posts like this make me appreciate being married. ;)

  2. Untemplater says

    Haha I like your tip about saying dad is away on business. That’s too funny. I don’t know how many guys would bring a gift for their date’s mom but it’s worth a shot. I’m sure the facebook tip would get at least one hit cuz everybody has atleast one stalker right? :). Funny post Sam!

    • says

      The only problem is, if dad comes home, it’s GAME OVA! Get the mom, and it’s smooth sailing for sure!

      Yes, everybody has at least one stalker, if not many, many, many, many, manyeeeee.

  3. says

    Sam,
    I’m pretty sure the facebook post will only work if you friend every acquaintance or person you’ve been introduced to. Since that’s not the case for me, as I could care less what so-and-so from high school that I couldn’t stand back then is doing, I’m still stuck on the launching point. Of course, I don’t live at home either (thank God). It’s always nice to get insight into the male mind. Not sure I’m ready to declare that I find men living at home with their parents attractive. I won’t write them off, but maybe they could lead with a more attractive characteristic, like their sense of humor, thoughtful personality or ability to build amazing ping pong ball statues.

    • says

      Yes, the best thing for guys to do us read Cosmo. No different for women to understand guys. Personality and good humor is overrated. Ping pong statues…. now that sounds sweet!

      You don’t have to like the guy living at home with MD, however your luck will improve drastically once you ID them!

      Dr. Sam

        • says

          Yes, lots of good looking, fit dudes at the local tennis club for sure. These guys like competition, like to stay in shape, usually have decent income, and have great sportsmanship! What’s not to like? Defined calf muscles too if you are into that.

          It’s a numbers game. I’m just telling you every woman has at least one admirer. You just have to proclaim your availability!

  4. says

    Is this an experiment for the live at home ladies? Try it out and share the results! I suspect there will be no sleepovers unless they go over the boy’s home.

    • says

      Ah yes, independence is a good thing, especially for those who are OK to happy being alone. Once you give yourself up to some help a little, guys will come flocking. I crave companionship, so I’m happy to give up some independence . It’s all what we prefer and like.

  5. says

    You are righter than rain on number 3. If a guy gets the Mom on their side, he is in like flint. Moms exert tremendous influence on daughters – pointing out all the advantages of the young man she likes and all the disadvantages of the ones she doesnt – over and over again!

  6. Darwin's Money says

    I think there’s much less stigma for a female living at home with her parents compared to a guy. Just a sign o the times…

  7. says

    God I’m glad I lived in residence and didn’t have any of this awkwardness. In terms of a target -rich environment you can’t ask for a better situation, and with 60% of the university populace, the numbers game was definitely in my favour!

  8. says

    Hilarious post Sam.
    There was a documentary on the CBC here about kids going back home as adults.
    I found the double standard, as presented, that women living at home would never date a guy who lives at home yet these ladies fully expected their living arrangement to be OK with guys.

  9. says

    Funny and true. Boys don’t really care where girls live. Boys don’t really care about a whole heck of a lot of things girls think they care about. Boys do care about ONE thing, though.

  10. Hannah says

    Me and my older brother still live with our parents. I know it’s funny, weird and off for a lot of people, but it’s seriously cultural!

    I grew up in an Asian family and my parent’s rule is: If you’re not married or have kids, feel free to stay here as long as you want! When you get married or have kids, get out.

    Some parents are even more chill and let their kid’s family (their kid, kid’s spouse, grandchildren) live in their home.

    My brother is 30, not married (dates a lot of women), has a full-time job and pays rent.
    Me I just turned 26, not married (attached), I pay all utilities on the house.

    My brother still has game. Although he doesn’t tell the women he dates he lives with his parents till maybe the 5th or 6th date. They don’t mind, surprisingly.

    Me, I’ve been attached for quite awhile and my boyfriend still lives with his parents. They’re the kind of parents who would let us live with them even if we got married and started a family.

    I plan on moving out when I’m 29 or 30, yes we are saving for a huge down payment on a home. It really is a win-win for parents too if your kids aren’t moochers and actually help out.

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