You can get rich by working hard and investing wisely for a long time. Or you can get rich by finding yourself a wealthy spouse. This post will share how to get a rich man to be your boyfriend or husband.
Over the past 20 years, a number of my female friends have been able to marry rich. As a result, their socioeconomic status took a big leap up. Some continue to be happily married with wonderful families. While others have broken up and moved on to new partners.
Out of the 140 million tax returns filed in the United States every year, about 1.4 million make an adjusted gross income of over $500,000 a year. We're talking about a top on percent income, which is clearly considered rich.
Now imagine if there were 1.4 million undead zombies roaming the country. They'd be everywhere!
The Definition Of A Rich Man
Most would agree that a top 1% income is rich wherever you live. However, some will say you're just middle class if you've got to pay for private school tuition in cities such as San Francisco, New York, Paris, and London!
Given it is one of our mantras to always describe ourselves as middle class, being called financially average is a blessing.
Regardless of what your true financial definition of rich is, your mission if you choose to accept, is to lock down one of the 1.4 million+ rich people the IRS knows about to marry you. Seriously, why bother trying to slave away for decades to become a millionaire when you can just marry one?
The one tautology about money is that once you have money, you don't worry as much about not having money. And when you worry less about money, you get to fight more about all the other joys in a relationship.
This article will provide some insights into how single men who make over $470,000 a year in income or who have net worths of over $3 million dollars think about women and marriage. $3 million is the new $1 million thanks to inflation.
Once you understand such a man's fears and hopes, you are well on your way to living the good life!
How To Get A Rich Man To Be Your Husband Or Boyfriend
The most important way to get a rich man to be your boyfriend or husband is by understanding how they think.
How A Rich Man Thinks #1: I must be dreaming.
Most wealthy men are self-made. They may have studied hard in school, took some calculated risks, worked even harder on their ventures, and struck lucky gold. They know what it's like to be middle class or lower because that's exactly where they toiled for most of their lives.
They've made far more than they've ever imagined possible and can't believe their luck. There is a constant awareness that the good times can't last forever.
In fact, there is a paranoia that one day they'll wake up to see everything they've worked for disappear. As a result, they keep on working to make their dreams happen, never taking for granted what they have.
How A Rich Man Thinks #2: Nobody is going to give me anything.
Given most rich men are self-made, they strongly do not believe in entitlement. Nothing is deserved which is not earned. Given this type of stance, sometimes they can be very harsh on those who are receiving some type of assistance from the government, friends, or family members.
It takes time to assuage such a man to see another's point of view as a result. Men want to see that a woman is independent or on her way to being financially independent through self-struggle.
How A Rich Man Thinks #3: Women who know what they want are most attractive.
Nothing turns a rich man on like a strong woman who is successful in her career or business. The woman who goes for glory piques the most interest.
Rich men constantly search for those who they can find their equal or superior. She doesn't have to be rich. Instead, she can be superbly talented in something that he is not e.g. musical instrument, language, singing, dance, art, etc. A woman who has a passion in some hobby is extremely attractive to rich men.
How Rich Men Think #4: Why should I ever settle down?
Rich men have a larger selection of women thanks to women being more accepting of rich men. You will see 4s go out with 8s all the time and nobody ever bats an eye because it's so common in places such as New York City and San Francisco.
Given a rich man's mental conditioning, he will logically assume he is more handsome, more charismatic, and funnier than he really is. It really doesn't matter if he's not because he continues to get outsized attention from the ladies.
A rich man finally tends to slow down once he realizes he wants kids. He understands his mortality and wants to live long enough to see his future kids grow up.
More Ways To Get A Rich Man To Be Your Husband Or Boyfriend
Here is more psychology from rich men. I share these because I've also gotten rich after more than 20 years of saving and investing post college. We're talking generational wealth.
Please don't waste my time.
Although everybody's time is finite, time is much more precious to a rich person because the dichotomy between time and money is wider. Rich men have less patience for relationship games and long term courtships. He needs to know whether she wants him or not. None of this “I'm in a weird place right now” while she goes off and dates multiple men.
A rich man has no problem being a friendly suitor who meets up on random occasions. But there is no way a confused woman will ever snag herself a stable rich man.
If only I had someone to share my money with.
There will come a time in every rich man's life when he'll realize the pointlessness of making more money if there's nobody to spend it on or with. He may accumulate so much that he won't mind being a sugar daddy to someone who doesn't fit any of his criteria for the ideal woman so long as she enjoys his company. He would rather be with someone than be alone.
When am I going to lose it all?
Rich men pay attention to fortunes lost all the time. An example is Eike Batista who is estimated to have lost $33 billion dollars in 16 months as his conglomerate, OGX Petroleo & Gas Participacoes SA lost 90% of its value. Batista is still worth $200 million dollars, but still, that is a frightening fall.
Given the paranoia of losing it all, rich men are very methodical in their money management ways. They will allocate at least 20% of their net worth to risk free investments so that if things go to hell, they'll still live a comfortable life. Rich men realize their wealth is an important reason why they have more selection.
I hope she still loves me if I had no money.
Rich men understand they are attracting more women than normal for their wealth. But every rich man hopes his woman loves him for who he is as a person.
Rich men don't want to feel like chumps who have to pay for companionship. As soon as a rich man feels the only reason why a woman is asking a man out so he can pay for dinner and a show, it's game over.
Advice On How To Lock Down A Rich Man
Now that you know how rich men think, it's important to adjust your actions accordingly if you want to be with someone with means. Here is some advice on how to get a rich man to be permanently yours forever.
How To Get A Rich Man #1: Be your own person.
Thoroughly pursue your dreams and do not give up until you get there. It's important not to compromise your standards for a rich man. If you've always wanted to make it on Broadway, don't you dare leave New York City to be closer to a man who lives in Chicago. If your dream job demands that you travel for three months a year, go for it and don't look back.
The more you focus on what you want, the more the rich man will want you. He has the financial resources to move, travel, or buy a piede de terre where you live if he wants to be with you so don't worry about not pursuing your goals.
How To Get A Rich Man #2: Develop a strong network of friends.
You don't have to have a ton of friends. Just enough where you can spend all your time with them as if you didn't have a man in your life. A rich man worries his woman will smother him if they get too close.
Once you have a couple friends to go out with for dinner or shows, you provide a man some relief that he doesn't have to always entertain you. Develop your own world and invite him in.
How To Be A Rich Man #3: Be an expert at something he is not.
Singing, dancing, writing or playing a musical instrument are tops on the list of things most men don't do well. If you can master just one art you will gain a tremendous amount of admiration.
Tanya Streeter is a world record holder freediver who went down 525 feet and can hold her breath for 4 minutes. Now that is one sexy woman!
How To Get A Rich Man #4: Take care of yourself.
Because rich men have more selection, they tend to gravitate towards better looking, fitter women. The one thing every person can do is work on their fitness – facial features not so much. There's a big fear from men that once he marries his woman that she will chop off all her hair and let herself go.
Don't let your man fear such a thing by eating healthy and maintaining a workout regime that's beyond his own. When a woman asks a rich man to see whether he'd like to join her at the gym, deep down the rich man is beaming with joy.
More Suggestions On How To Snag A Rich Man
Be a lower high maintenance woman.
High maintenance women generally have a bad wrap. They take two hours to get ready, love to take pictures of themselves, aren't grateful and have never met a mirror they don't like. The flip side is that they generally look good. A rich man loves to have a beautiful woman on his arm. He feels proud to call her his girl as onlookers check them out.
The “level of maintenance” is highly subjective. If a beautiful woman can turn it down a notch based on his perception, she'll be much more attractive. Simple things like saying “thank you,” leaving the house in comfortably simple clothes, and offering to pay once in a while go a long way.
Show interest in his business.
A man wants to marry a woman who cares about where their money is coming and going. After all, the man has spend all of his post secondary education life working on a career or business that made him rich.
It's vital to understand what he does for a living and check in every so often to ask how things are going. There is always some new deal or initiative on his plate that he'll love to share.
Rich men always think they'll bore their women to death with business talk so they don't mention anything related. Take interest in the source of his wealth and you will go farther than any other woman.
Spend more time listening.
Listening is a skill that is more difficult than talking. The ideal conversation is balanced 50/50 where both participants actively listen to each other's dreams. If you dominate the conversation by more than a 70/30 ratio, men tune out quickly unless you are stunningly beautiful.
A great way to find balance is to simply ask the question you were asked and go from there. It's often times what you don't say that speaks volumes.
Be where rich men are.
We tend to end up with people who roam our environment. Pilots date stewardesses, cooks date waitresses, bartenders date everything that moves, doctors date nurses, and Facebook employees date Twitter nerds.
The majority of men over 30 who work in banking, management consulting, high tech, big law, and venture capital are on the path to top tier wealth if they keep on saving and working for just one more decade.
Attend charity events, volunteer programs, or opening night galas. Rich men love to network while supporting a cause. Lay on a beach at a five-star Hawaiian resort. All Hawaiian beaches are public.
Take up traditionally expensive sports like golf and less so tennis which have private clubs. Go to alumni mixers with a friend who went to a prestigious university. There are at least 700,000 men in America (out of 1.4 million $470,000+ tax returns) out there after all.
Show a tremendous interest in your personal finances.
Nothing is more attractive than a woman who has a strong command of her finances. The more a woman cares about her own financial well-being, the less the man has to worry. This is even though he easily could provide for everything.
I recommend signing up for Empower, a free financial software online. It lets you track your cash flow and analyzes your investments for excessive fees. It also has an excellent retirement calculator as well. I'm positive a rich guy will be super impressed with your financial savviness if you show him the app on your phone next time you meet up. Being financially wise is sexy!
Gain as much personal finance knowledge as possible. One way you can do so is by picking up my instant Wall Street Journal bestseller, Buy This, Not That. It is full of financial wisdom, logic, and rational decision-making. One you read the book you will be financially wiser than 99.9% of the population!
Life Is Still Good If You Can't Get A Rich Man
It takes time to lock down a handsome multi-millionaire fella. You've got to take my advice to heart and proactively be in environments that accommodate such potential interactions.
Perhaps one of the best ways to get a rich man is to get rich yourself. Wealth attracts more wealth. it's the way it always is.
If you haven't found someone wealthy, don't worry. Millions of couples are perfectly happy without being wealthy. Life with someone you care about is infinitely better than coming home to an empty bed. May all of you find someone!
Related posts:
The Average Net Worth For The Above Average Couple
Your Chances Of Becoming A Millionaire By Age, Sex, And Race
Advice For My Daughter: Pay Attention To A Man's House, Not His Car
Who Are The Top Income Earners?
Photo: Paper suit, courtesy of RMA art collection.
For more nuanced personal finance content, join 65,000+ others and sign up for the free Financial Samurai newsletter. Financial Samurai is one of the largest independently-owned personal finance sites that started in 2009. I help people get rich and live the lifestyles they want.
I need a husband am divorced, I need happiness
I need a boyfriend
As a self-made rich man myself, I can say that is amusingly accurate.
However, the article does not answer the question. “Be where the rich men are” really doesn’t work. Most of the time, we are not anywhere suitable for meeting lots of random people. Sure, you might get lucky and sit next to him on an airline flight. But don’t count on it.
The number one way to get a rich husband is to marry him before he becomes rich. The biggest opportunity for this is to go to the same college as he does. Then choose carefully. He probably isn’t the guy throwing up at the party.
If you missed your chance on that, or don’t go to a top university, then online is the only practical way. Unfortunately, in practice, only sugar dating sites attract sufficient percent of rich men, and they are already married.
Therefore, the real answer to the question is, unless you go to a top university with lots of guys who will become rich, just forget about it. You might get lucky, but probably not.
All girls like rich man and want to be a cinderrella. That all
I feel am not alone…but I need a Good man thanks
But there are so many gold digging women everywhere nowadays that use men for money to begin with. And they’re nothing but users and losers as well.
Loved reading all ur comments…I feel am not alone in this..all I want is get a wealthy Godly man..thank you
I’m sorry???
You know what you want
and you are submissive?
Those 2 do not gel.
You have a lot of learning to do.
I found this to be an interesting post. I am a 27 years old Africa single christian male searching for a life partner. Of course I am not rich as I am from a third-world country and from a poor background. But I’ve got dreams to own businesses and grow in life. Who knows? My future wife could be reading this. She could be in Africa or anywhere. Please reach me if you want to.
Maybe. Or maybe my future husband .
David I am a 51 year old woman who has 2 teenage kids. I am divorced. I have been in business for myself for the past 25 years. I basically have worked myself to a place of I have lost myself! Everyone thinks i’m 30 which i love. But realistically I am 51. I am a country girl/city girl I play both worlds. I am from Kentucky I have a Harley that I love to ride I love adventure, I love to travel. I pretty much love to have fun amd enjoy myself. I am currently in a rut. I need out. I would love to spend time with someone where I work because I want to not because I have to! Now that I have vented I feel much better!! Trying to find Mr. Right!
Wow, interesting. “Please reach me if you want to”
That’s good to be honest
Goodness me! I love most of your articles but this one has me prickling. It reminds me of the old Good House Keeping magazines – how to find yourself a husband – learn to cook his favourite meal, dress to please him, change yourself to suit his every whim! No thanks!
Ladies – make your own fortune you are more than capable! And make sure you don’t get stuck with a lazy, bludging husband! Choose your mate (if you can be bothered) carefully!
There are plenty of women whom are twice as good, strive as hard, only make 1x as much (let’s face it, the world ain’t fair), and are looking for their equals.
And Sam, most wealth is not self made. There are a plenty of disoriented trust fund kids still finding themselves.
The best ones are self made, sure.
Most wealthy people are self made? Sorry, but that´s a wrong turn right at the start of your assumption chain, killing your argument on the spot. It´s simply not true, or should we say: a lie? Most of inflation is hiding in asset prices at this time. There may be an overall rise in consumption standards, but wealth has gotten much harder to acquire. Tons of people are even cut off of home ownership. Those who rise to the top are more often than not born half way up the ladder. All of which is not despicable, but “most wealthy men are self made”??? Ridiculous!
~80% of self-made millionaires didn’t inherit anything.
But I think you will enjoy these two posts:
Your Wealth Is Mostly Due To Luck: Be Grateful!
The Secret To Your Success: 10 Years Of Unwavering Commitment
a good person and very inspiring respectful person love and caring
You are incorrect. 80% of millionaires are self made.
I am one of them. I went to a top university, majored in engineering, then went into business. Of my college classmate friends, ALL of them are now millionaires, and none of us came from wealthy families. What we all have in common is that we are all very smart, went to a top university, majored in STEM, and work very hard.
From my own experience, I can’t even support that 20% inherited their money. I personally know over a hundred millionaires and two billionaires. The only ones in that group that are not self made are foreigners, and they aren’t the billionaires.
Has the author heard of MGTOW? Because if you are known to be a wealthy single man, the best way to go is your own way. With the divorce rate 50/50 and 2 out of 3 initiated by women, marriage is a raw deal for men. Take into account that a man can lose a good amount of his fortune at the family court (prenups mean nothing!), a rich man should twice, no 3 times before getting married. Besides, in the US, the quality of women is deplorable. They either are overweight or tend to become overweight, have tattoos, are on anxiety meds, smoke or have had multiple sex partners that for health reasons you don’t want to share a bed with her. Or she exhibits feminist trades. Traditionally women have been the gatekeepers of sex but they have opened the doors en masse.
I’m none of those things; that being said, I would never even date a man who was as negative and opinionated as you. Chances are that you probably have no money to speak of- and, you haven’t had much luck with the “right” woman- that’s why the sour grapes. Only an educated, self-sufficient, beautiful and fun-loving woman like me would realize this.
I am hungry
I am spending a rainy morning with coffee, revisiting a few FS classics. Have to say, I think Sam’s “how to” advice for women is quite idealized, if not the opposite of reality.
I check every single box that Sam recommends, and I have learned/accepted that men simply do not find my type (independent, intelligent, financially responsible) attractive. My male peers, business partners, and superiors have long since married women who seem perfectly nice but fall well short of these qualities. Case in point: one of my best work friends, when I asked him early in our friendship about his wife’s hobbies, replied that “she watches lots of reality TV and buys a lot of purses.” But he loves her madly (and she IS great, very entertaining company). From what I can observe, powerful men love the idea of keeping a woman whose existence is dependent upon them.
I’m lucky to have built a 7-figure net worth on my own, including supporting my lower-income parents. I’d love to find a man who simply didn’t make my own financial situation much worse by introducing a ton of debt and expensive hobbies to my balance sheet. That has proven impossible. I am very active and reasonably attractive. If I go out in summer wearing a tank top or nice sundress, younger women sometimes stop me on the street to ask about my workout regiment. Yet since the age of 27 or so I have been romantically invisible to men. Maybe my stability makes me boring.
Thanks for revisiting this classic.
It does seem like at the end of the day, a man really does put an emphasis on appearance first. It’s why you see so many rich guys dating much younger and attractive women.
But you can’t blame them as it seems these women love older rich guys! Two-way street.
But congrats for building a 7-figure net worth on your own! Financial freedom is wonderful.
Related: https://www.financialsamurai.com/you-will-regret-sacrificing-love-for-money-almost-all-of-the-time/
I need a rich guy, who can take care of me and love me……
I need rich man and serious, can take care of my life.
I need a rich man who will love me and take care of me
Rich guys want very young, very attractive women, but you say ‘you can’t blame them’ yet when a woman works very hard, accumulates wealth, trains her brain with degrees and reads a lot so she can have an interesting conversation, wears beautiful clothes and goes to the gym – none of this matters once you are over 45 years old. It’s not a ‘two-way street’, because beauty is shallow and fades, yet it is what men prize. Do you have any idea what it is like to be a woman? To be over 40 and know that it doesn’t matter that you are rich, kind, witty, slim, responsible, creative, and resourceful, but men will always desire a pretty, shallow, silly, self-centered 22-year-old over you? And that young guys with no money will have sex with older women, but are not interested in a relationship with a rich, intelligent older woman, even when they don’t want children. How is this a ‘two-way street’?
Am single
Your point is mostly true. But I can tell you that there are plenty of men 45 and over who would much rather meet an average looking women his own age or a couple years younger, if she has empathy, a good sense or humor and some brains, than a shallow, hot-looking 25 year-old.
This is my impression as well. I’m female and also over 40. Understand where the OP is coming from. of course there are a lot of men who lust after/hit on young women. Not that I could forget any of it… but in my experience with men and also with my male friends fortunately it’s also common to have the experience where they want to be with someone close to their age.
For all you women that are gold diggers today, i really hope that you grow very old all alone by yourselves with a bunch of cats.
I don’t disagree. But l wish the same to men who only wan to date pretty young and skinny women. That’s just as shallow.
All things said are very interesting indeed but all I need to know is…..if…..”IS HE KIND?” LMAO!
HAHAHA. I totally got that. That’s an excellent question, and as if it really mattered, I think we all know how that one turned out.
Well I am an older, disabled woman who was married to the most wonderful, remarkable man who came from money. I didn’t care about the money and it was lost when his parents passed and his sibling cheated him out of what should have rightfully been his.
I DID NOT care that he had nothing, he was the most awesome man I ever knew and I still love him dearly even though he has been gone for almost 6 years now. My husband didn’t care about money, loved the fact I don’t wear makeup and have the natural look and the fact that I had unconditional love for him always.
If your true to yourself and to a chosen spouse the money doesn’t matter (yes, it does help to not worry or stress about things) But there are ways to take care of things even if you have an average or less than average income.
Sure we all would love to find someone rich who could take care of us, but, for me anyways its not about being taken care of as much as loving and taking care of that some special who not only is a mate but a best friend.
Aw this is so sweet
This article is pretty accurate somehow (25y old with income above 400k). Honestly a woman that can hold her own finances is damn sexy but… I only have five requirements for being wife material.
1. Sign a prenup. 2. Be nice and supportive. 3. Don’t ever ask me for money or things. 4. Have your own goals.
5. Sex life has to be good
Basically the relationship can’t be materialistic. Even so there’s many benefits of dating people like me, in terms of experience for someone less wealthy. Not that it matters.
Everyone is turned on by different things why can’t it be money? Should we all keep to ourselves and not give what we prize, ok I can do that too and just stay lonely lol don’t ask and you shall not receive
Because a woman turned on by money is the biggest red flag in existence. How am I gonna trust someone who only fucks w/ me for the watch on my wrist or the numbers in my bank account?
Dangers of flaunting your money, it attracts vultures just the same as a rotting corpse does.
I am not rich
I am a woman that wants a wealthy international advanced man like 40s down to 50 of age .That will love and take very good care of me and I will take good care of him also. I will support his bussiness, career and everything he is doing. I will be faithful , royal , love him and be a good wife to him. But I am not rich .And I am not lazy. I am ambitious and hard working woman . I am 39years old and divioced
Money is not everything in life is not all women love money the only thing some women need is someone who will love dem with everything. so don’t say u are not rich if u have love is OK for some women
Thats why there are some process call DATING. To know each other. You gotta ask.
I agree with your statement
The same way men are visual creatures, so are women. For me to be turned on by you, you need to be well dressed and smell nice and also show you have money.
When I was 20 I did not care much about what a man has to bring to the table, I believed in going Dutch with my partner. Now that am 30, divorced and financially stable I will not date a man who does not have money ❌
I am woman and I have three houses , degree and career…I HAVE to watch numbers in account because anyone makes less gets insecure or wants sugar mama…from experience… but then the men with money figure you are good and skip straight from dinner to ask for sex? no courting, why have men began to be so cheap?
not every woman who ask for money a gold digger…i mean everybody loves money…….i love money but not a gold digger….you give me fyn u did not fyn as well…. but i love money.
I’m am not rich, I am not poor, I am not young, and I am not old. I’ve had, and have had it taken.
I am kind, I am gentle,
I can be stubborn. And yet can be persuaded.
I am strong. I am humble.
I like to be wild, and I just like to be.
I want to miss you,
to ignite the fire.
I like to take care of myself, I like to shop in the junior section, I am petite.
A nice chest is a turn on.
As is a truly good heart.
I have lived, lost and loved.
I want to be with someone who helps me be,
a better me.
With a kind and generous heart.
I am looking for the same.
( except for the shopping in the junior section) haha
Is there anybody out there?
Who’s just real ?
And yes, Financially stable gentleman With class.
No more takers.
Gold digger in disguise! You are not fooling me. This post is so an attempt to not sound like a typical gold digger, but you know deep down inside you are. By “financially stable” you mean rich.
Ooooweer, some reply there you gave.
Are you scared?
You sound exactly like my type. Keep up the good work. I have to work on myself though too.
Hey honey
I’m a 30yr old women that knows what she wants and knows who she is
I’m submissive to men I trust but very strong willed
I’m easy going and experimental.. life is for living and loving it..
I’m very open so if you have any questions please ask
Take care
Hope to hear from you soon
God this is so sad. I met someone while back and did not know he was wealthy. Never asked for anything. Always paid my own way and been supportive, good listener, giving responsible advice, falling for this guy, eventually letting him know that I love him. And all I ever got back was sarcastic laugh as if my heart did not matter. So I would rather meet someone who is homeless or have nothing. Then a stuck up guy that thinks he is better than anyone living on this planet. Even if he was unable to walk or anything as long as he would have loving beating heart.
You properly where been annoying and not actually fun and really bringing anything to the table.
@Kristen – honey, how can you be with someone and be supportive but not knowing anything about him? What were you supporting? Business that you don’t know nothing about, his family situation that you can’t see if that family is well off or not, or what? Your story doesn’t make any sence to me. Above all, you were always paying for yourself and letting him putting you down all the time, so eventually you said that you loved him based on what? This is pure SF to me my dear. Like you made up the story to attract some rich guy, as you “don’t care about the money”… oh, please… and made sure to put some cute pict. of you so that someone poor with big heart will fall for you? (or is it google default picture, not sure/sorry if I’m wrong on that one). Oh dear, all that you wrote, esp mentioning disabled man is really pathetic and sad! All your fictional story is SO SAD! Good luck to you girl with your future disabled homless penniless guy with big heart (p.s. please, don’t get me wrong – I’m not trying to offend anyone, I’m only sickend with her farfetched BS story … and sometimes when I see some crap like this one I can’t stfu, sorry/not sorry)
I am not rich i am uzbekistan i am 23 yers ol
i am a poor man but know how to love from the heart of a demon
I will like to be your partner
That sounds like a Narcissist. Be very careful with people that show those kind of personality traits. Unfortunately many intelligent, powerful, successful people….both men and women…are narcissistic. I was engaged with this man for over 2 years and in relationship over 3 years. All the money in the world is not worth the pain these people can bring others. He always thought his money could mend every painful situation he put me through emotionally. I stopped going on trips, I stopped going to 5 star restaurants, I kept telling him how the money didn’t matter. He never believed me, when I broke off the engagement he went as low as to send me his one bank account statement with over 5 M–I went no contact and blocked him. He should have listened to me when I told him the things that mattered to me could never bought. I love older, intelligent, powerful, successful men, but I am fearful of many. After this relationship another gentleman I knew and had dated before, contacted me to visit him in Georgia for Memirial weekend. I had so much respect for him.and kept in touch with him for 6 years after things didnt work out before due to him living in a different state hours away. I met him in NJ where I live but he was working on a project. He is retired military, has been working for the government since his retirement and is now in a superior position having 800 or more people he oversees for F-15 Saudi Advanced. I respected him like I respect my father who is retired CMSgt and still works for the government at 81 years old. I am glad I found out what this man really was in my visit to Georgia before I opened my heart up to him again. I am an attractive, fun, easy going empathetic woman who just wants a loving relationship and to take care of the man I love the old fashioned domesticated way. Now I am fearful and alone, afraid to put myself into the dating world again. Hence reading this article. I know not all people have ill intent, but is hard to trust when trying to date. There are many wolves in sheep’s clothing. I wish everyone many blessings and best wishes to finding true and happy love!
Alex you are so right I would not have married my only husband without prenup! Only thing I wanted was him! Money is nice but not what I really want if it was , I, d work more.I was faithful for a long time 17 years no sex but looking forward to having fun with the right one if he has passion!!! I need a strong man to handle me!mm
Are you single ?
I have my own money as well. I would never marry a man who said to me, “Don’t ever ask me for money or things.” You sound very selfish and shouldn’t get married for in a marriage everything is “ours.” You want good sex, her to be nice and supportive, but you don’t say you’re willing to do anything for her. I’d never date you. Too self involved.
Its better that both of you understand and open to each other. My dear, your marriage wont last if it all based on material things. Its better that both of you looking forward to the future were you guys taking that path.
I am just a simple 21 year old girl who has never been in circles of affluent people.
But I do want to say from experience is that you, my wonderful ladies, don’t need a rich man or a man in general to make you happy. Yes I don’t deny that money could get you anything materialistic in this world, but it can never get you love and character. It cannot give you emotional stability. Foremost build your lives where you won’t need a man, because nowadays you have no reason to depend on them. You should be able to walk along side of a man and not be dragged by him. I mean this in terms of stability, independence and financial freedom.
I am just a girl who works for a minimum wage at a hotel front desk. But I used the money I made to buy my own car, pay for my college, help my parents with their bills as well as my travels. No I don’t have a boyfriend mostly because I haven’t met anyone who has the same values as myself as well as someone who would just respect me as a person without using me for their pleasure. This is why I learned not to depend on anyone, but instead work on my own dreams and achieve my own happiness.
Just a farmer’s daughter
Oh.,if only I’m a man….love to meet you
Okay am here
I’m also 21 years as you are and your reply really inspired me.
Thank you
Great, this is me in a nutshell. I don’t have much but I’m hard working and know I would be great. Just be independent and enjoy your life.
I grew up without a father. I grew up poor. I grew up having a lot of fantasies that led to insecurities. In fact, my family was well-off at first, but my dad, before he passed away, met another woman who only took all of his assets. Later on, my mom married a man who also took all of our assets.
The reason why I want to marry a rich man is because I want my children in the future to live the life I didnt get to live — send them to great schools, have them meet friends (unlike me who has none), buy them books and hone their literacy skills, etc.
Actually, I’m Asian and in the least, it’s alright for me to marry a white guy, even though he isn’t rich. I grew up bullied, and avoided — which led me to become depressed and suicidal lol. I’m smart among my peers but I dont look attractive (I have curly hair, I’m dark, I’m fat, I wear glasses).
I am improving myself now like going on a daily workout, setting a goal of reading books, eating healthy, and getting A’s+.
I am a freshman now, taking Business and Accountancy. In 5 years, when I graduate, I’ll work at my country first for 3-5 years, and immigrate to United States — preferably in the areas where intelligent people are (MA, NY, AZ, VA, PA, CA). I will send my children to magnet schools and Ivy Leagues, and have them live the life I want.
I am 54, never have been married, Christian, disabled woman with a spinal cord injury, and poor. But I am an intelligent, humorous, and pretty woman, with a lot of love to give. I would love to meet a “rich man” because I would love to travel the world, and have somebody to share the things I love such as art, history, and great conversations. I may have the spinal injury, but I can still walk, I just need a walker for long distances. I have not dated for way over a decade because I feel so bad about my disability. But still, I am a very pretty woman, with a great heart, and deserve to have a partner, and not be alone. I may be “poor” but I have managed my money that I do have very well. I have plenty of beautiful clothes, bought my own car, live in a nice home, and pay my own bills like clockwork. I am NOT a gold digger! I only say I want a wealthy man because of the things I would like to do, such as travel the world, which is something a poor man could not do. And it would also be nice to have security, especially in this economy, because it is very frightening being on disability. I have been a beautician since I was 18, then became a barber, then became disabled when I got MRSA from a surgical procedure that traveled into my spinal cord. So I have been a very hard worker all of my life, independent, and am a very social person. I am just so tired of being trapped and all alone. I do have a 28 year old daughter that I have raised alone that is happily married, and she has been my greatest joy. She and her husband just bought their new home, and I couldn’t be more proud of them! I love the ocean, sunsets, and rock music. When I was young I met many famous bands. Motorhead even drove me home on their bus lol. I could have slept with many of them but didn’t. I just enjoyed meeting them, and talking. Which planted the seed of wanting to travel the world, to see all of the beautiful places I have dreamed of, and meeting the people that live there. I just adore culture, history, and learning. Life is so short, and just would love to make the most of what time I have left, with somebody who will appreciate me for me, and my dreams. I want a partner to be my best friend, and soulmate. I have never married because I take the vows very seriously, and am not the type of woman that sleeps around, and never have been. I also don’t want to join any dating sites, so I am challenged on where to go to find that special somebody.
No offence but why would a rich man be interested in a middle-aged, disabled woman? I’m pretty sure they are after thin, beautiful girls between 18 to 25. Not trying to be rude, just stating facts. It’s not healthy to live in a fantasy world.
There are plenty of older men who are not after “arm candy” and who truly want a woman of quality, not quantity of her breasts. Plus I am also a very beautiful woman that looks more like 45, and feel it too. Although I also have days where I feel 100 because I have lived through many hard difficulties, and have pride that I have faced them, and endured them alone, and have become a stronger, and better woman for them. I also consider myself, and so do others, to be a very intelligent woman. So I have many attributes a “rich” man would admire, and his life would indeed be made richer by having me in it. You apparently are a younger man looking for vain traits which means nothing to men of quality, that are looking for a long lasting relationship, and LOVE. Those are the types of women that are “gold diggers” that wants a rich man to buy everything for them, and I have bought myself what I need, and only want a rich man so we can travel the world, and enjoy the beautiful places that I cannot afford, which also IMO are better to enjoy with somebody you love. To share moments, and beauty, and not so much a lonely trip to paradise.
S,
A rich man looking for perfect young girls just wants an excuse to raise his ego and satisfy his sexual needs. An intelligent rich man would see beyond.
I think that in the case of this lady (Heart of Gold), the richest will be the one who knows her in person. You can even read this lady’s soul with each of her words.
Beauty is just the wrapping of a candy that could even be empty inside, but a candy that is filled with exquisite wisdom, is enjoyed even more and for much longer.
So my congratulations to you, Heart of Gold, for being so beautiful inside and I wish you much happiness next to a man worthy of you.
Awww, God bless you Anton for your precious compliment! I appreciate so much that you understand exactly what the true definition of “rich” is, and I am just gobsmacked that somebody would say such wonderful things about me! I am actually very shy about compliments, and have never been one to flaunt myself, or my attributes. I agree, true beauty comes from within. Like my precious grandmother used to say “Pretty is, as pretty does.” And she was so right. And actually, although I may be “poor” I have royal blood, and have a fascinating family history. My family goes back to the Mayflower, and beyond to Scottish, Irish, and British nobility. Which is another reason I want to travel the world. To see the places where my family lived, and to share what time there is left of life with somebody that cares about my same interests, and would love to share them with me. So I am NOT a gold digger, and could care less about “things.” I don’t want to be a Hollywood wife. I could have been many times when I was younger to a number of many famous musicians that I could have slept with, and had romances with, and didn’t. I have never wanted that kind of life. I just wanted to be a mother, and not have to worry about my husband having numerous affairs with other women, and living a life of plastic surgery, followed by going in, and out of rehab. So although I have never married because I have not found Mr Right, I have had my greatest gift granted of being a mother to the best child anyone could ever hope for, Jesus more than blessed me with her. And now that she is grown and married to a wonderful man, I am all alone, and don’t want to die a spinster cat lady. I just want to live, and not simply exist. And to find a man that will love me for me, who wants to share my dreams, and make HIS life all the richer, just by having me in it.
Okay am here
lol 54 wants a rich man… Wow the delusion
FYI I have been hit on by much younger, and very handsome men, even though I am disabled. But they were not for me for various reasons. And when I was young, I was very beautiful, and now I can still say I am quite pretty, and do not look my age at all. I would never marry a man JUST because he was wealthy, that isn’t at all what I want. But it would be nice to marry somebody wealthy enough to travel, and go places, and do things I have always wanted to do. I have worked hard all of my life, raised my daughter all alone, have paid my own way, and don’t owe anyone, or anything one red cent. I am rich with intelligence, interests, and morals. ANY man would be rich just to have me in his life. And I have never been married, because I put my child first, and myself last. But now that she is grown and married, I can now focus on me. I am proud of myself, and my accomplishments, and even if I never do meet “Mr Right” I will never settle for Mr Wrong. I have made it this far without anyone’s help, and have lived through a lot in my life. I am a Christian, and have had Jesus by my side every step of the way. And if I am meant to be married, the man will find me, because I certainly don’t chase after men. And if not, I will still be fine, because I have am amazing daughter that I am so very proud of, and am loved by my family, and friends.
Oooops typo, edit to my last statement:
And if not, I will still be fine, because I have an amazing daughter that I am so very proud of, and am loved by my family, and friends.
Gold Diggers are everywhere nowadays and are brainless, clueless, and useless altogether now. And total losers too, and i can certainly add a lot more to that list which i will stop right there.
Vinny,
It sounds like you’ve met and endured many of the ones you call losers. I am really sorry about that. As a woman, it makes me sad that so many women are out to “land” a guy just because he has money. If your with someone, there has to be substance because once the fire at the beginning cools down it will take fanning those embers to keep the relationship going. I’ve been in the position where my ex accused me of being with him just for money. Seriously, no. I work for my own, he worked a very limited job, we were not well off. I was with him because I loved him, but that love died eventually because of being mistreated by him. I do hope you find the one person who ignites your passion and wants to be with you.
I need a good man who can take care of me am loving and caring.
From my experience women who want a rich man. Want his house, firstborn child and half his money. They don’t want a rich man it’s just a means to get rich.
I’ve met a pretty wealthy man and we’ve been conversing and sexually active for a month now. He is 14 years older and very well off. His money doesn’t excite me but the way he treats me does, ” like a woman”, I don’t ask for much and when he offer, half the time I turn it down I don’t worry about what he can do for me or if he can/will take care of me. He is so sweet to me and most of the time I’m trying to figure out what I can give him besides love, affection, undivided attention, compassion,etc…. Even though he doesn’t want for a thing I still like for him to look and smell good on my behalf. He is 48 and I’m 34
Hi Chris it’s not every woman who feels like that
put down in the marriage agreement both have to consent
Chris not everyone is like dat …. i mean there is always a o e bad apple
I’m quite picky when it comes to how a woman looks. I have been lucky enough to date women that literally turn every head in a room (men and women) when they walk in. And let me tell you fellas it is an amazing feeling. However, its like a drug and its not something that helps you long term.
My wife although great looking cannot compare to some of the most beautiful women I have dated. However, she posses a quality that is priceless. I didn’t even realize how priceless this quality was and that I desired it until I met her. She is one of the most compassionate, kind and good human beings I have ever met. She literally has a heart of gold. Let me tell you a quick story about the exact moment I knew she was going to be my “till death do us part” woman. We had been dating for about 1.5 years and I had been quite cautious with how much I spent on her. She knew I had money but never pushed me for anything. At this point she needed a car for work.
I said I would buy her one. Now I had the ability to buy her a brand new BMW/Mercedes or any luxury car in cash and she knew it. But I didn’t show up with any of those cars. I didn’t even show up with a brand new car. I bought her an 18 year old car worth $3,200 that didn’t even have power windows! Her reaction was the following: She came up to me with a big smile, gave me a big hug and said “thank you for taking care of me and buying me a car.” I was utterly stunned and that’s when I knew she was the one!
That event proved to me what a rare woman I had ran into so these days I pretty much give her anything she wants (we have been together for 11 years). However, since she is a good woman she has never taken advantage of it. The most demanding thing she has ever asked me is to let her have her own 2 private bathrooms and 2 additional bedrooms solely for her use in the house besides our master suite. Considering how amazing she is I was happy to give it to her!
This story is a lie . First of all she’s your wife isn’t every room in your house yours and hers and buying her a car that was so used is insulting as it’s obvious you are testing her. And I don’t believe beautiful women threw themselves at you. I don’t even believe from your writing you are that rich. You found mediocre.
You have a point
Maybe you should learn to read before you call someone a liar.
1. I never said “beautiful women threw themselves at me.” I said I have been lucky enough to date women that turn every head in a room. Those are two completely different scenarios. Now whether you believe me or not really doesn’t make a difference to me. All I can say is that this is an anonymous comment board so I really have no reason to lie. Its not like I’m getting “social status” or “respect” by lying about these things on this board.
2. You sound like a 13 year old teenager who has never been married with your “room comment.” My statement about the room situation was pretty straightforward. But let me try again: There are two bedrooms that I never sleep in and there are two bathrooms I never use. Those rooms are for her use.
3. And you must be pretty dense. I was testing her! That was the whole point of me buying her a cheap car!!! I figured I made that pretty obvious in my post but I guess some people can’t understand obvious things……..
4.Again whether you believe I’m rich or not won’t change anything about my life. I will still continue to have what I have.
If my daughter was dating a guy like you and you bought her a junker I would have told her to run. Clearly her not asking for anything should have gave you the answer you were seeking. I understand not buying a luxury car but to buy (and be smug) a 18 year old car makes you look like an a**. Also come on the day you got married the money is both parties. You sound like her dad. Disgusting.
Be disgusted all you want but based on your attitude its clear you have no real understanding of real morals. Fact is, people (men and women) who have good values, morals and honor understand exactly why I did what I did. Obviously my wife does which is why we are still married. The only people who are disgusted fall into one of the following categories: immoral people, those who lack the cognitive ability to understand values on an advanced level (as in stupid people) or gullible fools who always see the best in people and are taken advantage of all throughout their life. For your sake I hope you are the last one because then I can at least have some respect for you. If you are one of the first two then you are part of the reason why collectively humanity is so devoid of morals.
On a side note if you had told your daughter to “run” from a guy like me then clearly you are the type of father daughters will wish they were not born to because you give extremely terrible advice. Let me get this straight you would want your daughter to run from a guy who is financially independent, self made, who knows the value of hard work, is responsible, moral, treats women chivalrously, respects women as his equal, has dedicated his life to philanthropy, believes in monogamy and has established a life where your daughter will never have to worry about money? I guess all that cancels out me buying a “junker” as you call it right? If your daughter was dating me and could see the future she would curse for giving her the worst advice of her life and breaking up with me.
Anyway since for some reason you are so obsessed with the “junker” I bought my wife the me give you an update. The last car she got was brand new and she handpicked what she wanted (no budget involved). Oh and in case your wondering I was driving a 10 year old car when she got her brand new car. In fact, the next car we buy will also be for her and it will be brand new. I will just drive her old car at that point. What I’m trying to say is people like me respect a simple but hard to find thing called “morality.” Since my wife has that, she gets whatever she wants from me.
You must really love your wife then. I hope you’re still together. I would love to marry a woman just like your wife, if what you said about her is true.
I have been living alone and taking care of a kid on my own honestly to have a man with me at night would be wonderful. Your lady is very lucky to have you.
Thank you! And I’m very lucky to have her. Its very rare to run into a woman who cares so little about materialistic things. I’m sure you will find someone perfect for you in due time. It just doesn’t happen right when we need it to so please don’t lose hope! I can tell you that both me and my wife were not expecting to find “the one” when we met, it just happened unexpectedly.
Well I don’t even have a boyfriend lol and about rich men well I don’t know its all just some random disney shit here lol why don’t people just make their own money instead? And if they can’t just don’t whore on people’s money lol i mean what even people my college research is so darn shit that they ask for such bs reports on such bs topics like “date a rich man”
My advice to all the ladies and the gents “make ya own money spend it on yourself only or give them to your parents that have always given their everything to make y’all so happy and worth it!”
With all that money, why don’t you learn to write?
Jaja.nice say…well …being rich has its perks but lol…happiness is priceless
I know this is an old post, but I wanted to share what my mother said to me when I was very young, even before old enough to date:
“It’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich person as it is to fall in love with a poor person.”
I was able to start dating rich guys when I pay my plastic surgeries. I did fully BBL 5 rounds to get a better shape and bigger butt (this is a big catch for wealthy or rich guys). Also got my implants redone 2 times to sit at 1000cc (goal is set at 1450). Everything paid by myself while I was working in a advertising agency.
my rich guy niche was pretty simple, I was aiming at black males from the music industy, sports industry and other industries where i knew was full of black rich guys. because of my advertising career i was pretty much informed of everything.
I started going out a lot every weeked, 5-10 clubs per night. Then i started to scale and get invited to private boat parties or luxuries houses-apartments parties. I made good friends there, specially other females that were looking for the same goal I was.
the first guy I dated it lasted for 5 months, he was married and I was his side chick. I met him at a club party and he weas a signed sport player. it was fun, he bought a nice SUV and paid my college debt which was nearly 100k. other gifts such as clothing, shoes and things for my house.
My second date was my ex-husband now. I met him in NYC while I was assisting to strip club. Sometimes i did work as stripper but just to show off. He was a music producer, and he was crazy for my booty. we did marry a month later and it was a healthy relationship, middly open, and it lasted for 3 years. I was super comfortable living with him and when we split I received $5million cash, apartment and 2 cars. we still pretty much good friends.
I’m currently dating a signed young sport player. Im 33 hes close to 23 and we have a nice relationship. not fully based on money, (bc i have some now). But he paids anything i need.
For all this I want to tell the girls out there, that one of the easiest way is to invest in your body. Gym + plastic surgerys, specially booty is a key to catch rich guys out there. I know a case of a 42 year old single mom that invested around 40k in her body (mostly savings and credit cards), and where she is now? living in a upscale apartment in brickell and the couple owns a 20million bucks boat.
Classy rich guys don’t go for your butt implant. You probably altered your. Off so much they took you as a callgirl. You get what you pay for.
Thank you for your input. I enjoyed reading it!
Most of these very pathetic loser women just sleep around with very wealthy men most of the time for money since they really need to get a real life that most of these women don’t really have to begin with.
I would seriously date a rich guy. Am not a gold digger or anything but am very young and things that have experience at young age have me thinking I could give it a try. I want to become and accountant and I cannot even afford to pay for university. I also live in a country where we are lack of opportunities if we don’t have people in high places we don’t make it. Secondly I don’t go out much so I don’t meet a lot of people. Being with a rich guy would probably help me to achieve my goals. Am not saying that a rich man can solve all my problems but I could at least try.
The blogger writes, “Nothing turns a rich man on like a strong woman who is successful in her career or business.” Obviously you have no clue how rich men think.
For the women out there, this is how a rich man thinks. Men want a young, thin or in-shape, good looking woman, who dresses nice, acts feminine, is NOT a bitch (pardon my French) and presents well (aka eye-candy). Rich men want nothing more and nothing less, women always try to complicate things and square the circle, if you seriously want a rich man, don’t.
You don’t speak for all wealthy men. These aren’t the only things I want. Yes, an in-shape woman is great (it shows they take care of themselves) but having a woman of strong character who is a success in their own career points to the fact that they may not be a gold digger. Having a more independent woman means that I won’t be spending all my time reassuring her insecurities. You basically just said all wealthy men are vapid and shallow, and that sounds more like something YOU are than a blanket statement for wealthy men.
I Am well taken care of just in the wrong area I’m sexy and great body but no rich guys here oh well maybe I’ll find him while doing my own thing :) I’m looking forward to meeting just a great guy in general!
Exactly
We should talk.
I am 22years and I need a rich and responsible guy or man from any better country. I need to feel how to love and to be loved
Jewelry is one of the easiest ways to update your look like a rich men. And I would like to inform you that Jewelry 1000 is an online men’s jewelry store that stocks the trendiest pieces out there.
Golddiggers should be really punished by God very severely.
It’s called age.
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Great article. May will help me to marry a rich man
What about the military wives who yes, stay with thier husbands for years, ”suffer” through the seperation of deployments. By cheating, lying, staying at home never working and making little to no effort to support their spouse. I have a family member who has been deployed for a year this time. His so called wife of 15 plus years only messages him about money. Did not bother to see him off, or try to contact him at all for a month, and then was only about more money. Has he been perfect? No, he’s human. But he takes his vow to her seriously, and refuses to leave, even when she slept with his best friend. I have seen it a million times. He’s a paycheck when away, and an pain when he is home
“Show some respect and support to our armed servicemen. My girlfriend’s husband fights for your freedom!”
Honestly, if I have a son, I’m going to tell him (and pray he listens) to never get into a “serious” or long-term relationship (much less get married) before the age of 33. Wait to turn 33 first before you sell your $2 million two-family and a store building in a prime location for a used Bentley.
My father and two of my uncles were womanizers. I never was into that lifestyle. Never cheated on anyone. Never a big party person or super social. But, I do love to flirt. Flirting is the sex for me.
When I was 31-32, I thought I was OLD. I was not 20 anymore. I thought my dating life was over. Shit, it was just getting started. It’s like you got good at playing FIFA on World Class, and then, bam! The only mode available is retarded easy mode.
You try and reconcile this as a man (with all the stuff online about men complaining about dating and women), and it initially didn’t make sense. But when you stop romanticizing and idealizing human relationships, yes, it’s about money. Plain and simple.
Annually, I have about 350k coming in (net) from my law practice, and 180k from investment properties. Not millions of dollars a year, but I’m comfortable. Comfortably cashflow positive.
In terms of women, military spouses and hair dressers, for some reason, they’re like sharks who smell blood. I always dress down and casual when I’m not working, but they have a sixth sense. Strong predatory instincts.
But like, you don’t have to be “super rich” as a guy to have options. Complete nobody 19-24 year old strangers from France or Italy message me out of nowhere to start talking, and tell me about when they’re coming to the US, and then the green card conversation starts happening.
So, this whole notion of “sex” in exchange for money is not really accurate at all. I’m not interested in sex. Most guys in this boat are not. Yes, you get the “newsworthy” cases that “make the news.” The Trumps, and Kobes, and Tiger Woods of this world. But those are the exception, not the rule.
Flirting is my sex. Once I’ve become bored of flirting with someone, sex or no sex, we’re done. “Looks” are also very subjective. Before women run off getting thousands of dollars of plastic surgery as some have suggested on here, please take a moment to think about your audience.
I like tan brunettes, European, thin/skinny/slim, fit, but still feminine, small breasts, unremarkable (but not completely flat) ass. Something about a round and “perfect” ass and huge fake boobs makes it kind of difficult to look classy and elegant. I want her to talk into a room or into my life and for time to stop and I and everyone else just admires the fucking magical unicorn that’s graced us with her humble presence.
Needless to say, on aesthetics alone, I haven’t found that yet.
Looks aside, I’m a sucker for languages, culture, and art. I remember dating this violinist. She wasn’t anything remarkable in terms of looks. But when she played the violin for me, I literally got hard. Same thing whenever a woman is completely fluent and a native speaker in French, or Italian, or Russian (I don’t care so much about German, Spanish or Greek). This native French girl spoke French to me; I had no idea what she was saying, but I was absolutely enamored.
All this other stuff is just bullshit. I couldn’t care if she never finished college, had an IQ of 100, or was horrible with money and drowning in debt. What I also couldn’t give a shit about (just FYI) is how many other men she’s had sex with.
For men, it’s easy. Body fat % less than 13%, groom, give some thought to style, and have money (doesn’t matter how you have it … despite what women say, actions speak louder than words).
For women, I’m white, so maybe this only applies to white guys, but I see so many white women aspiring to look like Kim Kardashian or some idea fuckdoll for Hispanic or Black men (which is 100% fine) … but then be looking to get with a white guy. And not like trailer trash biker bar taxation is theft white, but 400k+ a year white. And then wonder, why are my 40k boobs not working?
Please, don’t destroy your body, don’t destroy whatever minimal hint of class and elegance you may have. Also, your looks are a MINIMUM threshold. Looks will not carry you, they can only disqualify you. It’s like an appeal. You can never “win” on oral argument, the best you can hope for is to “not lose” on oral argument. The decision turns on the substance of your papers. You need to have substance BEYOND simply saying “I’m not like other women,” or BELIEVING you have substance. If you only speak English and Spanish, sorry. If the only instrument you know how to play is the hairy banjo, sorry. If your dancing is limited to pole and floor routines, sorry.
European women get this for some reason. It’s only American women that seem to be very confused on this area of life. Please don’t butcher your body, and please have actually substance. Otherwise, you’re not even worth fucking, let alone dating, let alone being in a relationship with, and you’re lifetimes away from tying the knot.
“For women, I’m white, so maybe this only applies to white guys, but I see so many white women aspiring to look like Kim Kardashian or some idea fuckdoll for Hispanic or Black men.”
Actually, from what I gather, Kim K, and others, look like pornstars. White pornstars which white men droll over on pornhub. There’s no reason to bring Hispanic or black men into this. Perhaps YOU don’t like the white trash pornstar look, and that’s wonderful actually, but white women aspiring to look like Kim K (big booties, big breasts, full lips) really has little to nothing to do with Hispanic or black men. It has to do with AMERICAN men idealizing women that look like strippers/pornstars. And that’s across races, white men included. (Your racial prejudice is screaming and shouting like a child in the cinema)
Wow!! That’s a shame, some people don’t know gratitude when they are Blessed and lucky enough to have a husband that’ treats them nice and does his best to take care of them as a family man. How ultimately disrespectful and grimy to sleep with his friend. To fool around on him is bad enough.
With his best friend is even worse.
I always desired a man that’s a wonderful person, a nice pleasant and loving person to spend and enjoy life with. To be loving to him as well and a good wife. I’m a housewife by nature and I’ve always worked since I was 14 and had my own business twice. A man doesn’t have to be rich financially for me, if he is the great, but if not that’s fine also, I just don’t do bums. I’m more into quality as a person and intelligence, the mindset is extremely important. With the right one and interests in common, and trust we could build something together and become wealthy and really enjoy our lives together with the fruits of OUR labor.❤️
Love is the key to a good life, with riches or without true love from the heart creates riches because two to three minds are better than one. Death and loneliness comes to all but true Love covers all. Love makes lasting and real friendships which are not based on things but people and keeps the friends or family. Things including riches are to be shared with family, children who have no one in this world to take them to school, to provide food and clothing, teach them how to be rich and help others too, elderly and lonely too. when rich and poor die. they can take no riches or poverty with them. A rich heart makes riches becomes happy when sharing, knowledge, ideas, money and many more. I am rich in sharing all I can with those who do not have.
Amen. I’m not rich but I know a few men who are. I’ve noticed some very shallow- minded comments and very immature behavior that they present daily.
Some are negative and very haughty.
As a strong independent black woman who’s following her dreams and loving her friends and family and helping those who are less fortunate.
My 1st priority is to the God who gives us Everything we have. 2nd priority is my family who shares my beliefs and generous, loving ways.
Money Can’t fix Lack of Respect. FYI I look great at 56… Thanks to genetics.
I’m not looking for the rich and shallow.
Some of these responses on here are very shallow and disrespectful.
“Ladies, have you ever dated a rich guy or are currently with a rich guy? Why go after a poor guy when there are plenty of nice, charming, funny, charismatic, motivated, charitable rich guys round?”
The main reason that I don’t go after openly rich guys is because I believe that men who use their money in a flashy way are womanizers that attract their female-equivalents of whores and gold-diggers. I’m sorry for this negative stereotype of the dynamics of men/women, and I realize not all flashy men are bad, just like not every hooker or gold-digger is a bad person either, but I believe these extreme traits usually come from the less desirable characteristics of the opposite sex.
Studies show that people are not happier with more money beyond 100-200k a year, (maybe 200-300k if you live in San Francisco or NYC) so why work so hard for what you don’t need?
In all honesty, it is nice to be around a provider that makes me feel safe and stable. The reason that women like money is because of what the money implies: safety, stability, provider, protective.
These are positive traits in a man that women naturally seek, probably for reproductive reasons.
If the man uses his wealth to be arrogant and flashy, while treating women like disposable objects that they can buy off, this would just add to my mistrust in a man, and make me feel unstable. If I am required to be fashionably uncomfortable and walk in heels to attract a wealthy man, or fake like I care about solving world hunger and feeding Somalian children (which will never be solved, btw, as long as family planning is not valued) I would personally find it a sacrifice on my natural health and personal morals. So instead of a man having the effect that it naturally should on me, as a stable, protective, provider, money would have the opposite effect.
I have observed a new wave of women who are currently with wealthy men, starting out as former classmates who have studied the same field or at some point (even if they are mothers with children at present) they were the female equal of the wealthy man before they role-played their feminine/masculine traits for family-purposes. Take Micheal Obama or even Hilary Clinton. The two women were married to former presidents of the United States. Michelle Obama was Barack’s adviser and teacher at one point in his law-school background. Michelle Obama went through law school before Barack did. Hilary Clinton was Bill’s classmate in Yale, which is where they originally met and dated.
I’m sorry if this post is negative towards the natural traits of men and women because I do believe that men are providers and women are nurturers. So money for men, and physical attractiveness and self-care for women are naturally desirable traits.
As a woman, I want an equivalent male-counterpart which is a complicated dynamic in our shifting roles. I do enjoy being taken care of and provided for. I do not, however, want to compete with hundreds of other desperate women going after wealthy men. That defeats the purpose of money providing stability and security as the basis of a relationship. It’s almost a catch 22.
In the end, most men just want a good woman, and women want the same: a good man.
Thanks for your post.
It’s true, happiness doesn’t really increase at all much after $75,000 in non coastal cities, and after $250,000 in coastal cities.
See:
Making $200,000 And Not Feeling Rich
Scraping By On $500,000 A Year: Why High Income Earners Can’t Escape The Rat Race
U spoke well.. My name is Joseph, i use Prince Jesse as my facebook name because friends and family call me prince Jesse, I’m from Nigeria a residence of UAE Dubai.. I have a girlfriend presently in Nigeria I love her and I want to marry her she’s beautiful and wonder; tho she’s from a poor background.. I didn’t look down on her because I love her and I even call her my wife tho I haven’t married her yet till after she’s through with her studies I pay her school fees and send her money every months she introduced me to her family and I introduced her to mine too.. But our major problem is the distance in between us.. Because I can only travel to be with her one month every year because of my work.. And I know as a man the distance is affecting her somehow, my fear is she should not meet someone else or get pregnant or get married to another man, please what should I do to keep my relationship? Please reply my message.
I enjoyed this article. It’s on the mark. Both me and my wife grew up with very modest means.
When I ask my wife, “what would we do if we lose it all?”
and her reply is, “Oh well, we’ll just make more.”, I always realize why we’ve been married for 27 years.
My Father-in-law used to always say, “When you marry for the money, you earn every nickel.”
Rich guys are fun to be with but they are’nt trustworthy.
I ended up here because I’m trying to “fix” my dating life, and I’m really not stuck up but a thought crossed my mind: rich men and beautiful women are in a similar category, in that both easily attract the wrong types of partners. I fall in the beautiful woman category (no, I’m not conceited but it just is what it is) and I have the hardest time dating, so while sitting at my desk feeling a bit deflated I thought, “You know, gold diggers probably try to snatch rich men all the time, while jerks try to get pretty women into bed all the time”.
So it’s not so much that I’d be interested in a man because of his wealth, but rather because I’d imagine our dating lives might have similarities. That’s not to say that no rich man has approached me strictly for sex, what I mean is that in general we might suffer from a similar type of loneliness, I guess.
And just one more thing. Something that has happened many times is that when I’ve shown interest in average, nice guys and either they’re intimidated or they feel so full of themselves that they end up cheating.
These comments might make some people think I’m really full of it, but that’s really not the case. I simply hope to let those who share my experience know that they’re not alone.
i really like the whole ‘they feel so full of themselves that….’ part of this summation. unlike you, i’m not smoking hot (never have been) but have typically dated down, likely out of insecurity. the second you give some loser the time of day (or month, or year), they take off like a rocket and act like they’re hugh heffner, god of their masturbatorial fantasies, and help themselves to the bevy of ‘hot’ p***y that the world ‘has always owed them’ but was, strangely, never experienced before your existence in their life gave them the confidence to pursue. think ‘crazy stupid love’. i hate quoting movies, but this one is spot on.
Isn’t that the same phenomenon when a woman dares her first rich man? She suddenly thinks this is the company she deserves.
If you have something to offer to rich man besides your looks, there is nothing wrong with trying to get a rich boyfriend or husband. In most cases, rich men are career driven and spend a lot of time trying to improve themselves. If you want to be with someone who always pushes himself to the limits, a rich man might be a great choice for you. If on another hand you just want to meet rich men so that you can sit the whole day at home doing nothing and expect him to pay for everything, it is a really bad approach.
Said Jessica the real total loser herself that is very brainless and clueless altogether.
Just too many very pathetic loser women out there nowadays altogether.
Adding my 2 cents (via “smartphone” so forgive typos)… I have to agree with much of Sumi’s advice. I just started dating a very wealthy man. Thing is, I wasn’t looking for a rich guy. I was looking for an equal – similar level of education and intelligence, ambitious but not completely wrapped up in the rat race, reasonably attractuve, and independent. A few months ago I met someone like this, who also happens to be the very wealthy owner of an MNC and an inherited family fortune – which I didn’t learn about until the 3rd date. But I still don’t care about his money. I work hard for mine and love what I do. I have a nice but small trust fund courtesy of a father who worked his way up from nothing, which I invest for retirement and have never repent even a dime of. 2 master degrees (which I paid for myself), my fierce independence and self reliance (also courtesy of dear old dad), and taking care of myself seem to have “won” me this man’s admiration and girlfriend status. I can say this in all honesty: his intelligence, confidence, witty conversation and the confidence he carries himself with are devastatingly sexy to me! And his charming good manners and consideration have endeared him to me. I couldn’t care less if I never see a red cent if his. It’s the Man inside I want to continue seeing.
Good for you, Morgaine! I, too, have been dating a wealthy man. And I would be with him if he only had a fraction of what he has. Because I love his intellect, his wit, his charm, and his confidence. And his kindness to me. What does he love in me? I can’t speak for him, but we’ve been together three years! And whether he knows it or not, if he would lose everything tomorrow, I would take care of him.
On how to date a rich man…
Well first rich man know they are rich and they feel there are lots of you and only a few of them. They are people like any other. They feel insecure, try their best, and are intimated by other rich men. But if your not rich, then your not in their stratosphere, your simply a playtoy. I am in my mid 30s have have dated and been engaged to billionaires and rich men.. The best advice is their advice in the financial realm. Tips on investing has created a small empire for me. I could say I am rich now .. Was homeless and definitely qualify past the 7 mark net assets all because I hung around the rich men. Romantically am I full filled no!!! Rich men are hard to date .. But being rejected and used by rich men has taught me how to become wealthy myself. Now that I am wealthy I could care less about a rich man. Case in point. Take their advice and move on. Date for love. Use them ( take their financial advice ) and move on. That’s what they will do to you. Date for love not for money. But if you date rich men, do take their advice and become like them and move on … After all you become who you hang out with.
Your advice was insightful,too short though! I wish you could of explained your story in more depth. Homeless to rich? How?
Thanks
I simply find this so amusing! What a truly funny article! At 38, I truly had no idea, either men or women were dating simply based on ones financial portfolio! All of the wonderfully amusing, yet sadly not at all original tips, on dating are and do truly apply to dating in general. So successful or more successful men and women are a catch and you’ve got to be a great fisherman or women or your true (suger daddy?) motives will be snuffed out and fast! Your own breeding and lack of maybe money or simply ambition to do anything other than marry some that you gals certainly could have (with hard work) made yourself is really a bit slutty!
So while any adjustment of the verbiage has and usually can be found in any “how to guide” on dating in general, this is a great start to @how to date and marry above your own class! All of it is, nevertheless, fantastic advice for men or women dating!
I (married to a Police Detective 16 years older, who owns a small startup LLC in Fine Jewelry. Married now for almost 14 years.)
Because if his age and friends and their wives I certainly (at 22 w/40 ish ladies around me waiting for me to eat my eords if give them any reason to truly dislike me, you looking to date wealthy will certainly encounter these women! So while their husbands and boyfriends adored me and my wit and my presence… Know it took years to win over the wives! Women can be simply cruel and viscous so If your not already known to them please realize you aren’t welcome so you’d better be on your toes! (Fortunately I came from GOID breeding, a large amount of money on my mothers side and I was brought up and polished (While I never had a penny of the old money & still don’t I didn’t need it but I was given One hell of a fabulous BACKBONE SI PLEASE UNLESS YOUR SMART AND RELAXED AND TRUKY DONT GET YOUR FEELINGS HURT EASILY DONT ENTER THIS GAME! Money is even more covited than the handsome man I married w/an ex wife and 2chdren but ambition and a willingness to go the extra mile,invest wisely and WORK HARD AND HE STILL DOES! I simply adore him! I enjoy his Police (as much as one can) and Love his retirement career! It’s tremendously rewarding and shows his true interest in what I did and I’ve always been interested in the Kaw so??? We work! I once sold Fine Jewelry and diamonds for a living before working my way up the latter in a predominantly male run world of corporate management. To become an RVP (not because if any degree I’d earned after High School but because I loved my work & I still find great gratification helping strangers and My husband “Close a Sale!”, that’s magical and tantemaount to great sex if you ask me.
That being said my husband was never until the last few years the primary breadwinner! Also, I can certainly say, w/ a great amount of thankfulness that he hated the horrific hours I worked! I hated his as well but I do believe the key is finding something (other than him referring to me as his “child bride” and his constant compliments that I’m his “arm candy”, I also find him devistatingly handsome!)
He’s also someone I admire & one of the most intelligent men I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting (& marrying). As you elude to being supportive and taking an interest in (“the target” or the “ATM’s”, as I’ll refer to the subject that a lady in this instance would like to nail down.) ones career and being a woman who when I met my husband had a home, Bew Jeep Wrangler,Amazing wardrobe and my private life and finances in order very young as I moved out at 19 when an investment (my 1st home came along and was a very doable and smart money move!). So at only 22 in what’s considered a more “she-she” area of Baltimore,( Doctors & Attorneys lived on my street & I loved them and the women they dated and married because it taught me that if you click you click! Otherwise, a bohemian chick w/a computer graphics job wouldn’t have married and (made my MD (Vascular Surgeon fall in head over heels! And he still is today & this girl didn’t come from money! But she kept his attention & still has it. The vascular Surgeon was taken right off of the market by a darling woman who hated his job!
I paved my own way and didn’t have a penny from one family member to help! EVER! My husband found that to be incredibly sexy and I also am & always have been very serious about what I eat & DRINK & when. WORKING OUT as well as NOT drinking more than a 1/2 glass of wine or any more than one glass of alcohol and I stay away from any sun on my neck or face! (Always have!). Yes, I’m a former model but at only 5″8″ 125 lbs I hit the ceiling on how far any real career in modeling would take me at 19 and switched paths fast. My husband has seen since 1983 the horrors of life and he’s shared many tragic stories with me.
Im his strongest supporter in any and every endeavor as is he with me. To your point any woman hoping to find love needs to first LOVE THEMSELVES ENOUGH TO TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY OF ONES OWN SELF BOTH FINANCIALLY (no matter how much or little you have). This certainly includes never taking ones health or beauty (as women do know) your beauty will need a bit more care, if you will, to continue to look and feel fantastic after 40 (while my husband just seems to get more handsome as time passes (he’s 54 & Ill be 39 in the fall) and soon I’ll begin to look a bit older unless I truly tighten it up even more but to all of you looking for love or simply seeking to date a man who may be a bit out of your own financial bracket, my advice I’d advise you get out there & date and date a lot! But for Gods Sake don’t sleep with them all! I dated Golf Professionals, The men who went to the Golf Pros Clubs as Members (they made quite a bit more annually and I dated teachers, attorneys, men in sales, etc., I was only 22 when I met my husband to be at 24, and your advice is very good for those simply looking to meet a spouse! (perhaps wealthier than you or older or both?) Whatever your long term motivations are remember a few VERY IMPORTANT points!
1.Continue to learn (formally or through travel and simply teaching ones self). I chose more informal (while I did take courses at the local Community College I enjoyed emensly they were taken for a reason to learn such as business law etc. I learned how to better Manage WIRK & Personal Aspects of my life and not get sued over a silly emotion like anger also I was armed with the knowledge to better protect myself civilly and legally and how to protect the company’s I worked for! I continue to tune in my knowledge annually and look for changes to the law! SO, UNDER THE TUTILAGE IF AN ADORING JUDGE, I learned how to best protect my own finances and my future. At 2/ w/so much on the line Being Fired was not an option! So simply winning the war and not simply a battle in my personal life & my career. CHECK! Do continue to educate yourself. I enjoy reading legal briefs! As simply rediculous as it sounds, I love it! ,read what makes you happy! Travel will enlighten you so go to Cartagena Colombia like we did for a couple of weeks! You’ll be shocked at what a totally different culture can teach you!
b.) Do not starve yourself but for the love of God, Don’t let yourself go! Do whatever you can to always look your best! (When you’ve been married for as long as I have many women I know loose interest in simple things like pedicures and shaving their legs! (Don’t be that girl!). Trust me if you leave to say w/family overnight he will still miss your legs in bed that night if they are soft! So keep it up! No man wants a woman who’s allowed an extra 50 lbs to appear and then does zero about it (children or not!). I have 2 stepchildren and none of my own by choice! I adore my husbands children (now adults but I never had to let my body go straight to hell to have them myself & thanks to God we are very close! I never had to be concerned weather my husband who’s always been VERY popular with women of a certain age and those newly divorced. However, he only has eyes for me and he makes that abuntly clear as I do for him. I’m not a jealous woman nor is he a very jealous man. We trust and in our case yes of course together we have more money than if we split but money won’t keep you warm at night girls but a man with passion for his work and more for you certainly will.
Finally, Date someone smart. He’s got to challenge you but he can’t be a teacher! If a man that challenges you,makes you wonder and adores you! (Money can be made!)… SO STOP LOOKING FOR A SUPER WEALTHY SPOUSE! JUST GET OUT THAT ELBOW GREASE AND MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN MONEY! I GUARANTEE YOU YOU WILL SUDDENLY GO FROM BEING SIMPLY A PRETTY FACE TO ONE HELL OF A CATCH (no matter the man or his age OR career!).
Don’t date outside of your own intellectual sphere ! (Every friend and family member will wonder why your playing with CHILDREN AT EVERY EVENT at the “kiddie table” w/ play dough if they are speaking quantum mechanics with the other adults at the “grown up table!”… Otherwise if your not able to at least inject any intillectual thoughts on a subject zip it because not only will his friends & their spouses who can keep up and know exactly when to speak & when to simply listen SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU BUT HE WILL TOO! (God willing for him sooner than later!)
***I CANT STRESS THIS NEXT POINT ENOUGH!) Please if they , meaning the other wives and girlfriends of his pals, (and they simply can’t wait to & I do mean want to see you go up in flames!),especially if your more attractive! Well honey, if you are caught speaking out of your lack of education on any subject, You failed. Not just him but the know when to speak & STFU Law! (Unwritten rules of being a lady) & now whatever comment you made will be a riot & NEVER FORGOTTEN!! Just trust me!
REALLY TRUST ME, that nice man who introduced you to his inne Circle, well he screwed up! Or you ladies didn’t obey the STFU rule if conversation? He only made the mistake of letting them think you were anything other than a girl he “slums it with”… Harsh ,you bet! TRUE, Oh yes!
Now this man, he will get unreal pressure to, quite simply, “Unload the idiot w/lipstick”. Sorry but that’s you! So remember to date those that your physically attracted to, have your own money, always look amazing and don’t date a rocket scientist if you didn’t pass one math class in High School! Date those who challenge you not totally stump you!
Girls if you think Prince Charming, in most cases, has a Bentley HE EARNED AT 21, well girls I pray for some simple enlightenment to come your way! His Patents Cash isn’t yours and you better have patience because they may be here for decades before he sees accent and you may be repulsed bu him, LIFES TO SHORT!
In my experience and seeing wonderful marriages and train wrecks, one thing they all had in common was this; Money vs. again AMBITION & HARD WORK WILL EARN CASH BUT OF YOUR “LOOKING FOR A SUCKER W/MONEY”, TRUST ME THEY NEVER GOT THE $$ Because they were simply A SUCKER!
& YOU DEAR, WILL BE SPOTTED COMING FOR HIS CASH A HUNDRED MILES OUT. The scrutiny will eat you alive! SO NOW YOU’VE JUST WASTED ALL OF THAT MAKEUP FOR NOTHING! Plus the tickets to a great benefit (you donated your presence to? Oopsie!
BE GOOD TO YOURSELVES AND YOU’LL ATTRACT A PARTNER IN LIFE NOT AN ATM! Happy Hunting!
IF YOU WORK TOGETHER YOULL ATTAIN WEALTH BUT REMEMBER THINGS WORTH HAVING IN LIFE DONT COME EASY FOR A REASON! So do be warned & if your lucky you’ll find love (& some spare change you both torn into a pile of extra play money!
Mostly worthless info besides the obvious, No submit to their real fetishes and desires.
It really doesn’t matter if you won in amazing genetics if you aren’t skilled in sexual experience.
I can feel your zest for life and your passion for your husband. That is a life well lived!
I would be thrilled to find the man that when I said, “Dear, you’ll never have enough to buy me”……He will drop to his knees and propose. At least I’d know he didn’t want a woman he could buy and definitely was trying to win my heart.
Sorry, but even growing up in a comfortable lifestyle, I was never too spoiled to take anyone for granted. Never so good in my own eyes that I appeared to believe myself better than others. A bowl of beans in a poor home should be cherished because it came from those who had little, except a caring heart. A man with those values is indeed wealthy.
Forget a rich guy. I can’t get anyone to fall in love with me. Rich or otherwise. They date me a few times then abandon me.
Check out: How To Build Your Emotional Intelligence
Well after all there are many Golddiggers out there nowadays.
Short Info about me:
I am 22 years old, student at a good University, German, living in Frankfurt City, quite cultivated and good looking.
My last relationships (2) have been with gentlemen of banking business (38 and 27 years old).
I got to know them through parties and events of the upper class.
Now I am dating a guy from a sugardaddy page – around 40 years old, super rich but terribly dominant. He is already talking about relationship, marriage and all this kind of stuff, but I do not want to be his devote little … who does what he wants for life. But it is a nice thing for the moment.
If there is someone thinking bad about me because of the big age difference and the belief of me doing that all because of money only – your thoughts are wrong. I preferred older men since I am dating at all.
Things I noticed/Things you should know:
1. I am very talkative and sometimes even too talkative. I needed to learn to cool down, let him tell you his story. Ask for some stuff he told you and show your interest. These men need to feel masculine and coveted.
2. Your look is your capital. Do as much sport as you can. I lost over 20 kilos just for being pretty enough – and even before I was described as quite attractive. Care about your hair, nail and skin care. Spots, spliss & Co are a no-go!
3. Be cultivated, intelligent and interested in culture – but never try to show him that your intelligence is bigger than his. These men are fixed on their ego, so give him what he needs.
4. One thing what was not mentioned yet (as far as my English let me understand this text): Sex! Do not share your bed with him before he has shown you his gentleman and chocolate side. But as soon as you sleep with him, it needs to be the biggest firework he ever had!
5. If you do not have access to upper class parties and Co and you do not want to play tennis or golf for getting to know someone – just go on a sugardaddy site.
My SUPER TIPs to you:
Just read a book about psychology – manipulation – priming & Co for getting to know how to catch someones attention. To make him depending on your attention and love. Do not tell too much about you and be mysterious. Care about your look, but do not annoy him with long talks about styling, beauty OPs & Co. No man is interested in such bullsh*t and therefore you got your friends.
And LET HIM BE THE MAN who needs to conquer you!
ps. sorry about my English, but for being German it is quite acceptable, isn’t it? :D
I dated a rich guy. He was sexy, handsome, and had a stunning career. We even had interruption in our first date, some girls liked him.
I didn’t have any trick. I just came to him and be myself, joking, and laughed together. I didn’t ask his job, he told me later on. I didn’t see him as a wealthy man. I saw him as a person, just like me. Months later, I met another rich guy. And simply just joking around and laughed. Now I am close to a rich guy too. He is nice guy and polite. Most of this typr of guy has a freakin’ busy life, travelling from country to country. I expect nothing, just have fun, no pressure and just let things flow naturally…
Um. How did I happen upon this article tonight of all nights?
I was invited to a charity gala and I didn’t go. Why? Because it was too last minute to find a date and I knew everyone there would be paired up and I didn’t want to be the only one alone.
I don’t care about getting a “rich” man– just a good man who can appreciate me for me. Yet it is still incredibly difficult, and I’m not sure why. Not to toot my own horn, but I do everything that is on your “women do this” list. Most of the guys I’ve dated have been in their mid thirties (I’m 26) and honestly usually know more about personal finance and money management than they do. I’m successful, own my own house, don’t depend on anyone to pay my bills, work hard, have big dreams, and know what it’s like to struggle (have lived through some childhood trauma). I never take things for granted because I learned very young that life can end in a second.
It’s strange to be writing about this on FS, but I suppose romantic life will intertwine with financial life at some point. My (married) friend and I were talking tonight, and she runs the household finances. I told her that I would want to do the same in my relationship.
I don’t need a “rich” man. But would like one who instead of using “you’re too good for me” as an excuse why they don’t want to be with me (4 of the past 5 guys I’ve dated have said this), is inspired to be better and to challenge ME to be better, too. I suppose it takes just one, but I’m ready for him to show up already.
Thank you. I have emerged into the light of hope and reinvention.
I humbly offer a different perspective. At 65, I am at a different age spectrum of many of your commenters. I have an FI that meets my needs now and heading into the future. A few years ago I suddenly lost my beloved husband of nearly 30 years. The struggle and searching journey proceeding from that massive loss has transformed much of my worldview. Chris and I shared an epic love. We started out with very little but a shared passionate attachment. But we held similar ethical standards, a commitment to hard work, the willingness to work in therapy when we derailed, love of parenting and so much more. We embraced joy and general silliness whenever possible. We put our love first…always.
From the bottom of my heart, I urge you all to seek a partner that SEES you, that loves you warts and all, that is profoundly grateful to lie next to you in bed each night and wake to you each morning. Money? Sure, it counts……but love and incomparable connection? Priceless. May you all be so rich.
I’m sorry to hear for your loss. You might enjoy the follow up post:
Marrying Your Equal Is Better Than Marrying Rich
Hi am Ameera
Am frm Mauritius. I have 24 years. I want someone to marry not so rich but a littel rich….how can pick me happy in life . Am divorce…no kids
HAHAHA Seeing some of these responses, my advice to some of you women is to learn how to properly communicate and how to use basic grammar.
I’ve always dated guys with the same financial proposition as mine. Or lower. Now I’m 38 and would just like the experience of dating a guy who has (way) more money than me.
Hahaha…
In a way, it’s a game, I guess. I want the experience. At the same time, I’m picky about who I spend time with, so it has to be a person I find interesting. Charming. Energy is important. And eyes. Nice bum doesn’t hurt but is not a requierement ;).
I think it would be nice to be spoiled. I can’t remember the last time that happened!
Well, love comes on it’s own terms so I’ll just enjoy the time in between :).
Sarah i took your advice and i contacted lord. Azeez and he helped me get the father of my son back who breakup with me 3month after our 10years of marriage
I broke up with my Ex fiance a few months back, in what was a whirlwind of an altercation, and was destroyed, I won’t even bother lying about it. Night after night, I racked my brain for a way to get her back. She wasn’t returning calls, emails or texts and our mutual friends said she wanted nothing to do with me. I was in rough shape until i found Lord Azeez email lordazeez1990@hotmail. com and he guaranteed me in 3days and surely she called me on the phone and and apologized
A Relationship must be based on love, respect , deep intimacy , soul maturity and communication, any relationship depending on personality and outer looks will not stay for long time, If we love someone who is beautiful or successful , that is not love , but just an illusions, love is about acceptance and devotion.
Yes , they are a lot of gold diggers who prefer a rich man , and they are a lot of stupid rich man who chase beauty only , forgetting that a woman is not only a pretty body , but she has a soul and consciousness.
I am single , I would love to meet a man who can touch my soul and heart, I dont mind how much he is earning , but I do mind that he loves me unconditionally and inspires me to grow and be the best version of myself
The feminine is about love , joy and inspiration , that is what a man longs to find in a woman , to find his inner joy in her soulful eyes.
Yes sex is beautiful , but only when it is mixed with love ..we live in a society addicted to looks ,to outer achievement , and of course a gold digger will always find the ONE , the one who can sponsor her shallow shopping addiction ..cars and jewellery.
Any man deserves a woman who loves him truly and who inspires him to be great and magnificent, and any woman deserves a man who loves her unconditionally and who stand always by her side.
In the end happiness is an inside job , that our purpose in life , is to be happy and share our happy self with others.
Sam- I usually love your blog, but this is sexist click bait- I hope this was written to be a joke. The comments in this thread are very depressing and really highlight how little many women value their own worth. I’m a 34 yr old woman, make around 300K a year and am happily married. I have my bachelors from a state school (no multiple degrees), am a daughter of immigrants and got to where I am by hard work and hustle. Anyways, I’m super happy that I don’t have to follow the advice in this article- rather than trying to “land” a rich man, we women should aim to become the power players in today’s economy.
To each her own. You can be a power player and prove to yourself, the world or to whomever all you want, but you cannot tell other women what they “should” do with there own lives. Your living situation is not the desired norm. Not everyone see’s the human population as two massive armies in oppostion (men versus women) but rather as unequal masses that function better as counter weights for each-other, just as you have found your own counter weight (closeted hubby or long haired wife). As long as men and women are (mostly) different, we can never be truly equal. Not a good or bad thing, thats just how it is.
I’m one of the 700k per year guys. After a divorce, I went hunting again. The realty is that it’s pretty easy to score a 8-9 as a wife. I even had a friend who went to the Ukraine a brought back a “mail order” 10, twenty years his junior. I try not to stare at her when I visit but it’s hard!
For me, just an above average looking guy, I was afraid to marry the prom queen. I had a good idea of what I could manage before I had money and tried to stay in that range. Plus, I wanted someone who didn’t need my money. That means at least 100k in income.
Yes, her life is better with me, but at 100k, you have most of the luxuries in life. I figured no one is going to spend their life with someone just to upgrade their vacations a little.
So I guess what you leave out is that men smart enough to earn a lot are also smart enough not to get played. We don’t mind if success is part of our allure, but if it seems outsized, we worry.
Finally, while “renting” a hottie seems like an option, there really no intimacy, no reciprocation, and lots of latex. Its not even close, and its very scary because it is usually a crime, and disease still sometimes gets transmitted. The men who do that stuff just aren’t that smart. Talented, maybe: think actors, musicians, athletes etc, but not smart.
I like this POV. So where would you recommend a 23 year old hang out on weekends? I’m in law school and want to meet successful men. I just don’t see myself working hard and dating someone with little ambition. I like nice things way too much.
Really? Take a look at a Carolina girl.
Just loved many of the comments here. There’s still faith in humanity… ;)
If someone could love you as well as God loves you that would be wonderful and refreshing to meet someone who loves God the same way you do that makes love more pure and untainted by the others who are seeking love and money and not really loving that person for who they truly are besides their wealthwhich is really sad how people only see the wrong thing in a relationship!
Stupid articles like these in the 21st century, makes me wanna bang my head. Make your own money you stupid women who look for love based off on financial security and status. I hope your breed of people die out soon.
I know. I hope they die out soon too. And they can take those men who look for love based off of looks and sex with them.
If only humanity can bypass all the surface stuff and tap into the tender, unselfish and unconditional care for one another, it will be better. But, not in a shack or on a mat on the floor. Its just a condition people generally don’t strive for, in any century. And for centuries, mind you, income earned by women lagged behind men due to the structure of society, so now there’s still this issue.
However, it not a good thing to devalue a human being to the size of a bucket of coins or a great pair of legs either.
Its equally hard to find someone who just what’s to live and love/love and live without considering other factors that influence life. I’d contribute what I have as a conscientious effort to sustain the harmony of the relationship.
I wish they could love you for Who You Are and not what you havelove is supposed to be unconditional it’s not supposed to be about looks or things some people got things all screwed up I’m crying in the inside for someone just to love me for me and nothing more!
Well, Gender Equality, not every woman wants to toil or be fat and ugly like a worthless feminist. I will have freedom in the afternoon when I cook and clean and satisfy my man who in turn will provide for me. It’s give and take equally. If you want to work to feed your cats, that’s none of my business.
Comments like this come from people who are insecure, seething with resentment, and fearful. It sounds like you’re projecting your lack of self worth onto your ignorant concept of “feminists”. Obviously feminists threaten you terribly. Hey, if I lived a vapid life where I’d married the highest bidder to “provide for me”, I’d feel bad about myself, too. Many other women have the satisfaction and confidence of knowing they earned their own money from their accomplishments and talents; they don’t lazily consider all work to be “toil”; they are in great relationships; and they’re very attractive to boot. It obviously burns you up. :)
I would rather be a person that work hard to feed myself and my cats than to be a pussy vibrator to the man who needs fucks all the time :)
feed your cats dear feminist, our society doesn’t need your useless genes for next generations.
It’s just as easy to love a rich man as a poor one.
At the end of the day, you can’t love anyone more than you love yourself.
Water always seeks it’s own level.
Desperation and insecurity,of any kind, will, naturally seeks control and validation. Desperate and insecure people attract desperate and insecure people who seek to control them in order to validate themselves. The reason a poor girl focuses on marrying a rich man, regardless of what he demands of her, is the same reason the girl who felt ugly in high school stays in an abusive relationship, is the same reason the girl who didn’t get enough attention from her father sees her value in terms of being a sex object.
The point of this article is that if you want to engage in a healthy relationship, with a financially secure individual, then you need to be a healthy and financially secure person too- meaning money, or lack thereof, doesn’t scare you. You know what you want, and you’re willing to work for it, just like they did.
You’re also fiscally responsible, just like they are. You’re not looking for a handout, unless that hand is looking for yours :-)
If you want a sugar daddy, there are sites for that.
But Cindarella isn’t real. And Neither is Pretty Woman.
If you want to be with someone of value, be someone of value.
Lastly, my 7 fig earning boss told me he never got the appeal of a woman who could cook. Food comes from stores. Who cares? “I wanted a woman who could and would go out and earn 6 figures. Cuz that’s what I’m doing. And I don’t have time to cook.” – 30 yrs later still together, going strong, just bought their 3rd personal home in the carribean and 2nd investment resort property. Two beautiful sons who they love to death, and a life most would kill for.
Why be someone’s toy, or pet project when you can have true love?
Not everyone has lived privileged lives where they are given every opportunity to succeed financially and protected from others doing psychological, physical, or emotional damage to them.
So only a privileged elite should engage in any form of relationship, since they are the only ones who were afforded sheltered lives? The elites are not perfect people. They are made of glass and could easily be broken and made to feel worthless if put into a different environment or their circumstances changed.
-“my 7 fig earning boss told me he never got the appeal of a woman who could cook.”
yeah, well, he probably never had a mother at home.
-“Food comes from stores. Who cares? “I wanted a woman who could and would go out and earn 6 figures. Cuz that’s what I’m doing. And I don’t have time to cook.” ”
so he just wants money, is that it? he lives for money, what’s the point of making money if he’s not going to spend it? does he really need that much money to be HAPPY?
–”30 yrs later still together, going strong, just bought their 3rd personal home in the carribean and 2nd investment resort property.”
what’s the point of having this much property? seriously, what’s the point of having 100 houses?
that’s called GREED! it’s not satisfactory, it’s just a mental illness.
any wise man would be more than happy to have a good penthouse in Manhattan and a bmw i8 and a small helicopter and a small cruise and a small private jet, and that’s it, that’s where the line of comfort ends and the greed begins.
seriously, 1 billion dollar is more than enough, beyond that, it’s just pure money, nothing less, nothing more.
-“Two beautiful sons who they love to death, and a life most would kill for.”
i wouldn’t kill anybody to have such a superficial meaningless and pointless life.
This thread is the saddest thing I have ever read in my life. Worse than Tolstoy. That a man or woman would be so incredibly focused on marrying/hooking up with an individual of high means grieves my heart. What ever happened to personal initiative to obtain what one desires? *sigh*
You can work hard to get rich, or you can find someone amazing who is already rich. What’s wrong with that? You can drastically leapfrog generations of slog by finding that perfect someone.
To marry a rich man is one thing! But to keep it going is another story! Yes he can afford what ever you like in life, but does he feel he is appreciated! There is a big difference between give and take! Can you cook a nice meal so he can be appreciated! although you don’t have to! Are you a person that can calm him down if he had a terrible day! Are you prepared to give him his own space! So having a rich man is one thing, but to keep it going is another! Nice things in life is fantastic, but is it appreciated by the good heart that is giving it?
Don’t underestimate a rich man because you are good looking or very pretty! It will last only for so long then you back to square one!
Work on these tips for an everlasting relationship and not money alone!
God bless!
Valerie
P.S. Only a few life saving tips to find a rich man!
I have read many of the comments here. I am a psychology major, who dares to dream. I went through a divorce that ended due to my ex husband cheating multiple times. I have helped many throughout my healing process when it comes to relationship advise. Money is material. It can be replaced. But your soul mate, the one you are destined to be with is irreplaceable. Your soul mate is your best friend, the one who listens to you, cares for you when you well and sick, the one you can laugh with, create memories, the one who will hold you, take time out of their day to cherish you, adore you, love you for you, not your title, or how much you make, the one who completes you mentally, physically, and spiritually. I am a single woman that knows what I want, and will not settle for anything less. I have been through many challenges in life, but through my challenges, have discovered who I am, how I can help others, and grow. I was married for eight long years, as I settled for what I thought I deserved and stayed in an unhealthy relationship. Since 2010 (the year I left that behind), I was able to complete a degree in psychology with a very high GPA, have a current 4.0, in the honors society, and have received over thirty thousand dollars. I am currently pursuing a degree in nursing. Even through I am in some school debt, I have allowed nothing to stand in my way of success. FEAR is a huge factor, even in relationships. I dare to dream, so I challenge each of you to find who you are before you find your mate, know what you want, and never settle for less. Remember life can be fun, full of endless memories, challenges come with it as well, and who you have standing next to you will help you discover your dreams and challenges and help you accomplish them if you have your soul mate. Money will come with time, it can be replaced, but again your soul mate cannot. Your soul mate needs to complete you! Money itself cannot complete you! (Just some food for thought)
Hi aleisha, how to find out who we are? And how to find out what type of soul mate is suitable for us?
Get to know yourself…spend time alone by yourself..discover your passions in life…your dreams…what you enjoy and do not enjoy…soul search! Ask your self questions…find inner meaning ….look back on previous relationships you have been in…what u liked…didnt like… think about what are you attracted to and why….discover you, then you will know what you want and do not want in a soul mate….when going on dates..ask questions without giving to much out about yourself to see if the other person is headed in the same direction you are…was there an inner connection? What this date or dates ok, boring, or I cant wait to see this person again…was there meat to the conversation? Or was it just plane and simple conversation? What type of person are you? Are you a complex thinker who needs to be with some that can think on deep levels or are you a simple thinker..the list can go on but I hope I answered your questions and concerns.
Sam-you hit the nail on the head again. After divorce at 35, took 7 years to find wife no 2. It’s virtually impossible to find a woman who fits requirements. Virtually all wanted kids and for me to look after them or had kids and wanted me to look after them. Finally found producer partner, not parasite partner. Im now the weak link on mortgage application. This eliminates the opportunistic behavior from women married to rich men and gives both people in the marriage complete freedom. If we got divorced, neither of our lifestyles would change. She doesnt need a penny from me and I dont need a penny from her.
My salary, my job and my family background are better than my boyfriend. He comes from a poor family background and he does not have a stable job.
My parents discourage our relationship because they think we are not compatible financially. They prefer me to get married to a man who is more financially independent. There are doctors going after me. My friends and colleagues also think that I should find a guy who has the same financial status and social status as me. Many people believe that there will be high chances of divorce if the wife can earn more than the husband due the ego of the men.
My boyfriend is ego, but I love him a lot. What should I do?
In the end, there seems to be beyond the statement ” I want to be spoiled because I deserve” a theme is shaping up for me the best interaction is to find the chararistic quality that attract you to one another and be delighted by that. It’s not so much the funds available but the world that can be bulit, sustained and nutured from the union providing a certain level of unlimited room to express, explore and support each others in inquiry about new ideas. With the understanding that there will be a bubble here or there. However, any kind of addiction(wine,drugs, cookies) is not attractive and should not be tolerated. Otherwise, and this is from experience, you will be embrrassred in public (and no, matter how much you try you will not fad into the woodwork).
It is not so much that the procurement of a wealthy partner is a problem as such I have found. The problem as an educated, above average, fit, woman of means myself is that when once I was able to procure a partner with means he proved to be unworthy and incompatible in other ways. By that I mean he struggled badly with the demons of alcoholism which was just terribly heartbreaking for me as a potential spouse. Moreover, as his fiancée, due to his sheer addiction (some would coin this textbook late stage alcoholism due to denial) it became an absolute deal breaker.
I definitely struggled with my ultimate decision to part company with my fiancée. Ultimately, I know in my heart if I am to truly be happy in the long run in a marriage my partner must first love themselves and not turn to alcohol as an everyday means of coping. It was a difficult lesson to learn.
Really, to get this far in the comment section and not drink from the well of advice given so far, why should a rich man be expected to give you the life you believe you deserve as well spoil you? I understand I’m not rich but I’m not poor. I try to educate and enhance my skills to become such an individual that can complement someone respectably and with flexibility. Interacting beyond my pretty face and slim body. Be interesting since he (or she) is trying to enjoy life too. Not just to grind out the gold and drop it in your lap because you believe you deserve it.
I love your comment!
I am a professional, and also doing some investments. My appearance is considered as good looking. I just wish to meet a guy who truly loves me, treat me good and have at least similar financial status and family background as me. But i never met one till now.
Rich men that i have dated were being cool to me, and they often date a few girls at the same time ; while guys who treat me good seem to need my financial support if we got married, some of them even seem to be attracted to my money.
I am financially conscious. I can sing very well, i play piano, i can draw, i was an athlete in track and field in high school. I have a master degree. I have no problem in getting along with my colleagues and school mates so i suppose my character is okay.
But I have been single for many years. I don’t know what is my problem in relationship.
My Advice: Go out of the environment you would typically find yourself in, strip yourself of everything that shows you are financially secure, i don’t mean look poor, but have a natural and modest look. Go for charity walks, Go to places where you’ll meet people doing things for a positive cause, mix up, take interest and enjoy the activities and just be you. Hopefully the right man will come along.
Good Luck!
don’t ask for advice from men they wouldn’t have a clue what they are attracted to, I bet you are to nice.. read some books like why men marry bitches.. women who are nice constantly wonder for decades why they are single..tis just for that reason only.. to nice..
That’s absolutely false. What you’re describing only applies in the opposite direction. Women are attracted to men who are aloof and aren’t easily controlled by women. Men on the other hand, especially successful men, seek out feminine women who are supportive, deferential and don’t feel the need to compete w/them. All one needs to do is take a look around at all the “strong, independent” career women in their 30’s and 40’s, who are still single and wondering why. If you’re a woman that gives off a masculine vibe, don’t expect a masculine, heterosexual man to be attracted to you, despite all the feminist propaganda being spewed in our culture. You can’t change nature no matter how hard you try.
Hi I’m 32 and I need a rich gay that will soil me and give me the life I deserve
A rich gay?!?!? who will soil you?!?!? I think you could find that easier than a rich guy that will spoil you.
You are quite witty! Believe it or not, I really thought she wanted a rich GAY to SOIL her! I thought that seemed strange…
Well everyone has their own kinks and fetishes. I’m sure there are plenty that would honor your request of soiling you. There is something that might be stopping it from happening. You say you want some guy to give you the life you deserve. There are few men, rich and poor, that are attracted to anyone who has an entitled attitude. What makes you deserve it anymore than the next girl? What have you given to this world that is so unique and valuable that you are owed anything? Unless you change your thinking and learn to live in gratitude and looking at life from the position of what can i give vs. what can I take, you will never achieve what you want. You only deserve to get what you put in. The universe has a remarkable way of always balancing things out over time. Unfortunately, it is no different for you than anyone else.
I would like to get married to a rich man. An love him for real
To be with a man just to have his money is not right. I’ve been there many times but nothing happens. They depend on their money and they will control you. It doesn’t mean that you are with these rich men you are rich. No. They are not stupid. Except to those who are madly in love to their girl.
Married 20+ first time and married 20+ second time, I am a keeper, why do not men see that. I am ready for money, and not for love come get me
I think, if u have roof on your head when u sleep, feel warm when outside freezing, have enough food when u hungry, have some treatment when u sick, someone hugging u when u feel helpless..that’s rich people life..wherever n whenever u feel happy, u r the richest person in this world..that’s the point of this very short life
:) pretty a lot of dramas in here. I agreed with what you said. To feel “rich” is just going back to the very basic of shelther, food, love, warmth..etc.
Yet everyone wanted more, maybe it’s just the primitive needs of knowing that you and your next generation will be well taken cared for instead of worrying sick where your next meal will be coming from.
Here is my version of why am I even reading this article the first place. I used to be pretty naive and think that love will conquers all and it really doesnt matter if someone is rich or poor. Interestingly, I’ve been brought up that love exist and so do fairytales, because my parents are great example of one. So in my navie state of mind ,I’ve met those along the way who are just using me.
Maybe the guys that I’ve been choosing its just too poor form the start but good man.I was young back then and impatient to get married and start to build a life with them. Guess this turn them off pretty fast. I am in no way someone who plays any sort games and many guys do not appreciate things that are easy for them.
I’ve supported , encourages and challenges all my exes to be somewhat better( as my mom did for my dad, showing unconditional love) All of them did well financially at the end but we are no longer together.
Supporting someone is tiring and once they come into wealth they no longer appreciate those who have been standing by them all these years.Reason simple.. We have become the reminder of their “poor” pain.
It’s easier if someone have come to wealth all the while instead of having sudden wealth build up with them because they tend to change as they will have better looking woman after them anyway. Yes cruelity is such that a lot of woman chase after wealth but man chases after beauty. Just that the “currency” is different .Doesn’t means its wrong.
From first hand experience I’ve wasted years sticking on to” love” that changes after man coming into wealth.
I rather have someone who already been there and done that with full intentions to start real love n life. Even if its means someone who already have wealth to begin with.
Living with someone poor is quite a pain, that everytime will be brought to their level and encourages them to be better and having them leaving you after. You’ve become their used old cheap pillow.
Sadly the notion of seeking after a rich man have been misconstrued when I start mentioning it to friends. Not that I need someone to take care of my bills but I needed someone who can take care of themselves and not to relied on me.It’s exhausting!!
Izt the title is clear enough and main reasons for us all to be reading this article ? ;)so yes, hoping to find a rich man. Great article by the way!
I’m not saying I came here with no slightest bit of motive..but, the more I read all things above the more I realize, how ridiculous all of ‘that’..if I only have one penny in my pocket, I’ll give it willingly to anyone who need it more than me..u can say I’m naive , stupid, etc..but that’s the way I live..we are’nt the same. We live for to be happy, even u have a million dollars on your bank but u never content with that, u will never gonna be happy, we have our way to face this life..so, if u wanna be happy then be..don’t thinks unnecessary things
Truth life is simple!
Too much funny n honest people, hello interesting honest n funny people..u r all cute, I feel like in a drama in here..heehee..
Another thing that people are failing to point out is that rich men generally like literate women. Pretty bodies are easily bought and more conveniently rented. If a guy is investing in the “relationship” he wants more than just looks. Even for a sugar baby. They want a girl that can appear at events with them. Behave well in public. Speak intelligently. Understand conversations. Witty enough to contribute, clever enough to shut up.
If it’s a power imbalanced relationship where youth/beauty/desperation meets rich/successful/less attractive/not charming/etc they want more. They don’t just want the attention of a pretty girl, they want the status that comes from an illusion of choice. Even if it’s an almost straight transaction the girl that speaks well seems like she could have chosen someone else to “take care” of her. It’s a greater challenge.
Wealthy men generally aren’t drawn to make longer term investment in girls that rite lik u don no how 2 speek an u jus need a man ain gunna cheet cuz u ha enuf of dat wit ur dum ex cuz he wuz so bad. Nobody cares about your bad past relationships. The rich man will think less of you because meeting your self proclaimed low standards is less gratifying than a woman who has the wit not to whine about people they chose badly.
The rich man wants a girl where others (and perhaps him too?) might believe she chose him for more than his wallet.
“Pretty bodies are easily bought and more conveniently rented.”
I know many men who do this. You are unfortunately, correct.
Prime exhibit: the president-elect of the United States (I write this on ll/ll/2016).
According to financial samurai’s “semi-sliding” scale, I guess I fall into the category of a “rich man” (offhand and on average $730k/yr income depending plus my business equity worth and investments) and I DEFINITELY see that women who would normally be out of my reach are more interested in striking up a conversation. I don’t think it buys you an automatic “in” with those kind of women but it certainly helps.
I’ll say that (for me at least) finding a woman looking for a rich man is a scary prospect…what happens if they find someone richer? It’s really a bad investment…trading beauty for money (that’s a crude way to break it down but…). For me, the money just opened some doors to women I hopefully would’ve liked without the money anyways.
How is life going for you now?
Very intense question. It’s chugging along…for the most part, living the dream…how’s life going for you?
I like the way you talk. For me seems like you are a normal man who I can have good conversations with. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Your contribution to this article shows intelligence and apparent success. To be a self made millionaire, intelligence (and lots of luck) are of the paramount importance. I happened to have been married to a millionaire 10 years ago. At the time we met, I had no idea. We were both involved politically and just happened to have met over coffee in a hallway during break time. I found him interesting, intelligent, witty, and naturally self assured. He kept trying to date me, but I thought he was too old for me when he mentioned he had grandchildren! Finally I went to a sports event with him and discovered he was very fun to be with. We ended up traveling the world, enjoying his horses winning many races, and basically walking through life together. I wasn’t looking to meet a rich man, so easily and agreeably signed a pre nup he presented. Towards the end of his life, (he died from prostate cancer) his family started causing trouble and he sided with them. Therefore turbulence and controversy followed. However, we still got together and in spite of his family’s objections, took trips to New York, cruises, etc. We loved each other to the end. His money was never a major force with me; it only allowed us to walk in, and play in, any world “playground” we chose. He was a man of strength who taught me how to hobnob with the rich and famous, as well with the poor and lowly. I would do it all over again.
Great story. All of my success comes from the tech world, notably software engineering.
The wealthy people I hang out with are usual casual people who did very well during the startup and VC bubble. We get political for financial reasons but we don’t really hobnob or travel to meet sultans or Presidents or anything.
I’m considered wealthy and successful by scale I suppose but I don’t make $10MM a year or anything. I could within reason purchase most anything I wanted at any point that wasn’t aimed at the ultra rich but I’m a fairly normal MidWestern guy…just living life and enjoy being a businessman (although I didn’t really enjoy being an engineer…we’ll just call it a stepping stone).
Cant believe this article is still on
A relationship based strictly on finance alone is bound to be a disaster! One may as well hire a high class call girl.
Yes, money is definitely nice to have but you have to have a connection. Otherwise the time spent can be miserable for both parties!
Patrick why were you awake at 5:05 am looking at this article, and exactly what is it that you do for a living if you dont mind. How is it that you made your fortune. Im just incredibly curious to be honest. Thanks.
Hey, Vicky…sorry for the nearly year late response!
I was a software engineer by trade. Came in during the high of the startup and VC bubble and did well selling companies off in a grey waters scenario (tech giants buy your startup so they don’t have to compete with you).
As for why I was up, can’t remember. I pull all nighters often. I’m not the “LinkedIn” rich guy who structures his life and has a super tight schedule. I’m fairly flighty and erratic.
Do you like the feeling Perhaps be it not for your income these women (girls all dressed up really) normally wouldn’t be your cup of tea? I do understand how having money makes you more confident but I do hope that’s not the only reason your confident! Best of luck to you in your search for love!
I think confidence in this scenario may be a bit of a shotgun term. The more of anything valuable (looks, money, intelligence, whatever) you have the more confident you are (at least in my mind).
Since college I’ve been fairly successful and I’d like to think that success will keep growing and with it my confidence. Not sure if that answers your question but I guess it boils down to, I was a confident guy, now I’m more confident.
Patrick you are fortunate to own your own company. I’ve been an electrical engineer for 10 yrs and I am no where near rich. I do well and have very well funded retirement investments but I’m looking for other investments so I can build my wealth. I’m leaning toward real estate.
I’m a female 21, and I’ve always thought being with a rich man will complete my life. Twice there were extremely wealthy guys who showed much interest in me and didn’t know I knew they were well off. And I tried to be attracted to him thinking about his money but I just could not fake it. There has to be some level of attractiveness in order for a relationship to work so a women who starts treating a wealthy man ill mannered was never attracted to him and just wanted his money. Me personally would love to fall in love with a man who is honest loyal and rich would be a plus. I see so many comments from men not feeling loved from their wives when there are attractive women like myself ready to love someone unconditionally. Just I guess never in the right place at the right time. Love doesn’t have a price tag so all the rich men out there reading this, if any, make the woman you want fall in love without showing her your money let her love you from little dates nothing to extravagant until she’s earned a place in your heart. Make each other laugh hold hands do things you wouldn’t normally do. Never be too nice because she will take advantage but know the difference of respecting. The way I’ve attracted rich men were my looks and personality I’m very honest about everything but although you may be rich doesn’t mean I’ll take your number. You have to find a humble rich man which I’ve havent found so that’s why I’ve stayed single for so long. You will be much happier
Unconditionally? It depends on the conditions.
hey Kim I’m ur man
I wonder how many women’s perception of a “rich” man changes with financial independence? I guess rich can be in the eye of the beholder. I’m not sure if I feel worse for the women who have to change who they are to ‘attract + hold on to’ a rich guy or for a guy who may not ever know if his girl is there for him or just his cash.
Pre-nup all the way. If everyone is in it for the right reasons then it protects both.
Hey ladies!
I grew up poor. Not living on the streets poor, but longing for money to buy stuff. As a young child, if I wanted a pair of jeans, I had to go find an odd job like weed a garden/s or mow some lawns to earn enough to buy a pair of jeans. For that matter, any kind of item I wanted I had to go find a way to earn the cash ( legally) in order to purchase what I wanted. My parents had a house and property.. but divorced when I was young. hustling odd jobs was the only way I could make money as I wasn’t old enough to get a “real” job.
When I finally graduated from high school I did so with less than a D- average.
While growing up, my father always told me that as a lady, I needed to mingle with those with money. He told me to look at the back ground of the family and look at the family values, he said, the lady and her actions is what is behind the man driven. . he told me to cling to God of the Christians and build a relationship with this God. He told me to spot ambition and introduce myself with that individual. As a fresh out of high school gal, who never got along with anyone, I longed for friendship. I longed to be married, I longed to have a family of my own.
I got my first job the summer after high school. After a few days of work there, this 18year old boy walks in the door. After building a relationship with God, I learned to hear/sense his voice. Not really audibly but intuitively. When this boy walked in the door, God said, there he is, the one you will marry.
I wanted money. financial security too ladies, but who wants money if you don’t have a friend to walk through life with?
After a little while of working at the same table prepping medical documents to be recorded on microfilm, this boy asked me out. It was my first date. I accepted.
Now this boy being fresh out of high school too had no money! His parents, were the same financial situation as my own. So what was the difference between this boy and all others? He was a wonderful friend! But I also noticed, he climbed in the company quickly! He was smart, efficient, intelligent, and became the favorite of his bosses quickly. He had wonderful work ethic while at work, but was always late, not just by 5 min but sometimes an hour late to work EVERY DAY!! He got away with it because, he was so good at everything he did at work. he had a Midas touch. I latched onto him, not only because he was my best friend, but also, he was like following an ambulance with the lights on and blaring clearing the road for any one behind the ambulance.
He and I dated for 9 years. I never thought he would ever ask me to marry him. He kept telling me he wanted to “keep his options open” many would have left him. But I saw his abilities and admired him for them. He was never rich, however was a good steward of the money he had. We did finally marry. but dove straight into financial ruin as he tried to pursue his own business.
So now this is starting to sound like the wrong story for this site right? Wrong. Him and I continued on. Following the secrets of the book “his needs, her needs” My husband trusted me, when we finally claimed bankruptcy, he was free from his ruin and we began again on $4000.00 TOGETHER! We committed to live debt free ( this is key!!) Moved in with my mom! I barely worked at all through out this whole process. I was sick with a undiagnosed illness that lasted years. he was tested at the unemployment office. They showed him his tests and it showed he could choose ANY career he wanted. He score in the 200th percentile on all categories! He picked computers. They accepted his choice and told him they would pay for his training, but before he started training, he got a job In Information technology. Like the days of when I met him originally, he moved up quickly like an ambulance blaring and and clearing the way for anyone behind him. the difference this time? he made enough to buy groceries and pay bills and save a bit.
He presented me with the idea that we should still live “poor” as we both were used to. mean while he poured as much money as he could into the employee stock purchase program. Invested in the maximum $$ he was allowed to in the 401 K program with company matching program and found a way to purchase an IRA. This was an aggressive plan. But we were not uncomfortable. We still ate ok and had a roof over our heads. With in three years of this plan, we had saved enough to put a down payment on a house. Then I gave birth to my first but last child since I was 39 years old by the time she was born. We were over our heads in debt with this house but we remained true to our conviction that we could still live “poor” while hiding the $$ from ourselves in various programs available to him while still making the house payments. The house payment was the only debt we had at the time.
You see earlier his brother choose to work for Oracle. and purchased every stock option he was allowed to as well. His brother by the time he was 35 was a multimillionaire!
With in 5 years of purchasing the house, he paid it off. So where did that money go? the house payments now that we didn’t have that responsibility? More investments. More hiding our money from ourselves while “living poor”
It took 11 years of aggressive saving and “living poor” making more money than we spent driving old cars and “living poor”. and staying away from credit cards. He found a job that he was good at.
Behind his brother by 15 years, with in 11 years of his first IT job moving up in this industry, He is now a millionaire thus, by marriage so am I.
Ladies, is a millionaire mean that you can buy fancy cars and dine out every day? drip with diamonds and gold? designer clothing, hand bags and shoes? Is being a millionaire mean that you can buy WHAT EVERY YOU WANT? I hate to disappoint, but it doesn’t mean that at all. I wonder though if being a billionaire means that these days tho’
what being a millionaire does mean that if we do not continue to aggressively save, we won’t be millionaires at all. Its not a fear, it is reality. these days, a million can vanish in a few spending splurges and then you really are back where you started. Not wise!
What being a millionaire does mean, is that my house I live in is paid for. The house is an 1800 sq foot home that isn’t fancy but is paid for. in a postage stamp yard housing community. We both drive newer cars instead of beaters, but mine was purchased used in 20012 and his was purchased new for $13,000.00. what it does mean is that we are saving for an 18 acer estate raw land we can developed ourselves for our own use and have accumulated enough for it’s purchase but not development. What it means is that after this large purchase where our paid for house will pay for the estate development, we will continue to save. At a certain point when the INTEREST can pay the same amount as his income now, while working, he can retire.
When you spend down the principle ( the original amount we saved), you don’t have money to be free. What being a millionaire means is that I can purchase organic foods instead of regular foods and when I go to the grocery store I don’t have to choose. I have a budget but it is a reasonable one and can purchase any food item I want with in that budget. But shopping for nice clothes is still out of the question.
What it means is that the more money you make the more you are taxed. The more the government finds ways to take it away from you. In order to live legally, you must pay this embezzlement from the US government. and there is a certain point where your income is the same as someone making 1/2 the amount as you and being taxed less. Which really isn’t fair!! But even through this embezzlement, you can still make and save a million if you are committed to it. There comes a curtain point where you can surpass this 1/2 point and begin to gain, again once you actually can save past it. but it is a tough plateau. Once you save past the plateau it gets easier to save.
So marrying rich? or marrying wise I think marrying wise is more the key here. Find a friend. Let me say that again! FIND A FRIEND YOU CAN WALK THROUGH LIFE WITH and marry him. Happiness doesn’t have to come with a bank account. moving through life together. walking together, striving together, supporting each other, praying together, saving together. You have to agree to aggressively save no matter the challenge.. these are keys to financial accumulation.
Sumi
Sumi,
Thank you very much for sharing your story! I loved this.
Sometimes a rich man wants his way alot. Its exhausting! Or they are always uptight cause they work too much.
If you regard taxes as embezzlement then you do not deserve to live in the freest and most democratic country in the world. If you resent taxation per se then you perhaps should live alone in a forest like an animal and forsake all of the advantages of living in a civilized society. Do you also resent giving to charity? Taxation is excessive indeed in SOME states and cities (including where I live) and we do need greater fairness in the tax code but I resent people who think taxation is theft.
Expensive hobbies, memberships, travel, affluent neighbors and friends, keeping up appearances requires a lot of income which means you pay a lot of taxes. Meanwhile, yoga, exercise, music, movies and living under tax radar (below $35,000) with tax exempt income in a comfortable paid up home with no debt means you pay NO TAX. I don’t resent paying taxes because I haven’t paid any since 2011 and I have never received any public assistance. Net worth, not income is the key to long lasting wealth and a 401K is taxable income when it is withdrawn so at some point investing in real estate as a tax shelter and holding stocks that pay some dividend keeps you tax free.
EJ,
I on the other hand am happy to pay my taxes and child support to keep your backside warm. But, let me share the math.
For example, say I make a million in sales at 100 % profit= 500,000.
Drops me into a 55% tax bracket 260,000
Minus child support for kids who dont see a penny of it- 32% 80,000
money to run a factory and company is only 13% remaining.
I employ 33 people and am not nor will I get ahead.
I can make a billion in profit and same structure. Either we live in a capitalist society or a communist one. Half way for 1/2 wits does not work.
I LOVED your story thank you for sharing this with me. I pray you three will be happy, healthy and wealthy until the end…happily ever after.
I absolutely loved & agree with your story & am very thankful for the financial insight as I came from a very poor background however, I work hard to provide yet I do not save! I will now after reading this! Thank you for sharing your arduous road with us!
Beautiful story. ❤️❤️❤️
I came across this site i find it funny you read articles of men looking for good women just be friends but at the end always always send photo im coming out of 30 yr relationship where im glad i never married i have 4 beautiful daughters from him but caught him in bed with my younger cousin so i walkd out and left everything now i just work and dream of someone coming into my life and treating me well and being nice and not taking every penny i had i never really had that in my life someone that spent time with me or bought me stuff guess i was the idiot but lesson learned and not gonna make me bitter towards men cause im sure theres still few good ones out there
I am poor but have a good heart , a good person just need to find a good rich man to be with
please i will love to have one rich man plz can you get me a luvly one
Try trading in the stock market,Julianna, It is VERY lucrative. Use software to get the winning edge as the ups and downs of the stock market are controlled by computer algorithms. So you fight computer with a computer. Once you can relax about the money, because you have accumulated it on your own $, you will feel less desperate to a rich guy and more attrative. Next, mingle with where those who are rich hang out. He will come your way. Also, when you have your own, your need for the type of companionship changes.
Sumi
How does one go into the stock market business in Africa…
Am a lady and I have always wanted to go into the stock market business or trading..
Do rply thnk…
Can you please explain further about that stock market business?
i have the same problem
Doctors and lawyers often marry their classmates I know, I met my spouse in medical school. i think someone has been watching Pretty Woman too much. You do know that many American women are high earners? Whatever gender you are, invest in yourself and you will attract a partner who compliments your skills.
Ha,ha,ha,sorry to disappoint you,90%of doctors sleeps with nurses because nurses are hookers chasing for the poor idiots (and that’s exactly why they become nurses)and most of the doctors are frustrated impotents :))) when I go to advanced surgery congresses,I’m one of the very few (young)women (doctors) there…
HOw incredibly rude!! My mother has been a nurse all her life and never was she ever a prostitute for the doctors! She believes in her cause to care for the sick and ailing. you are very insensitive for posting such an informatory comment. Additionally, not all nurse are women! many good nurses are also men, so where does that fit in your inflame!
I’m a nurse also and haven’t slept with, or pursued a doctor. That’s ridiculous. Now, my construction husband believes – since I.ve been diagnosed with breast cancer and shad bilateral mastectomies – that he can go on discreet affair dating sites and frequent strip clubs. So are all construction guys douche bags? HaHa- probably. And he just lost a respectable, respectful, loyal and intelligent NURSE!
Its not the end of the world. Ive seen amazing reconstruction surgeries that are beautiful-working from nothing, and turning out to look better than most womens natural breasts. My advice to you is to remember that your a survivor! And that life goes on. You can and will, do and be, complete and better…im not just saying that. Its a reality if u want it. let go of any heartache and take what you deserve for your life, be happy. Congrats to you! Your so strong!
HI Isabel best way to mend a broken heart is do a circular dating date and date – go on tinder and speed dating and please no more construction guys try a desk job of guy for a change
Hmm
Wow as a nurse they later became a lawyer I find that the most insulting thing I have ever heard. I became a nurse never once thinking to catch a doctor and very few nurses I know ever married or dated any.
I love your answer JustMe. I am a female and went on from being a nurse to getting my doctorate in nursing- DNP. Being any type of nurse certainly does not constitute being affiliated with being a hooker. It sounds like the original female surgeon poster is lonely and in pain from being hurt in her own relationships. She is clearly lashing out in a demeaning manner. I hope she finds what she is looking for…and as for a surgeon, I’m sure she knows she made a very ignorant, rude and generalized statement stemming from her own experiences.
I dated a millionaire once and even though he worked very hard to get to where he was (he was a high school drop out) I found him to be very cheap on dates like not tipping waitresses and taking me to strip mall Chinese restaurants even told me one day “I’m used to girls giving me gifts”. He was the biggest A hole I have ever dated.
Maybe he was testing to see if you were after his money.
Not one time did I sleep with a doctor. I happen to think most doctors are full of themselves! I have two much pride to be someone’s hooker!!!
Actually, nurses have less debt and earn higher than average for a 2-4 year degree. Most doctors 35-50 years old still pay off their loans. They do not even have the money to buy high class cars.
Nurses are professionals dedicated to serve patients. They usually give more support than busy and arrogant doctors. Nurses deserve respect and not judgement.
I apologize in advance for this book I posted
However, I feel it was needed
I waited until I’ve read everyone’s comments and points of view and I both agree and disagree with the two. On the one hand here’s a woman whose fully equipped to take of herself. So why spoil and or give her the privileged life when she’s only here for some seasons and a reason. I completely understand due to the fact I experienced it personally. I took care of two guys in my life who used me and left me broke, homeless, and with a background to boot. Then comes to find out they get married to someone who provides stability since I wouldn’t. However, me being a woman myself, what woman don’t dream of being a princess out of some fairytale except those women who’ve accumulated their own, and vice versa.
YOU ALL MESSES UP WHEN YOU:
1. YOU DIDN’T TRUST YOU’RE HIGHER POWER. (Because you tried to do it yourself, when you don’t know the first place to start looking). STOP LOOKING SHE/HE WILL FIND YOU
2.LOOKING FOR A RICH MAN/WOMAN WITH NOTHING TO OFFER. (If you don’t have money then what is so unique about yourself besides sex, cooking, cleaning and looks do you have to offer, due to his/her fortune there will be a young maid to take your place whenever you get besides yourself). KNOW YOUR WORTH
3. REGAURDLESS OF WHAT YOU THINK THAT’S HIS MONEY. ( Meaning you’re where you started from if and when he leaves for the next prize star).
The difference between a low in social standing woman like myself, is that I’m not looking for a wealthy man. I know for a fact that everything he is and does with every fiber of his being is to pave a way for me. Because My CREATOR made me from his rib, I am only half of a whole person without him for he is my ADAM and I’m his EVE. His military prowess, and power makes me week in the knees from masculinity . He’s tall between 6″1- 6″3, not sexy but handsome ,loving towards friends and family. When my future husband is around everyone will feel like they are in the presence of Royalty because is my King my life. There will be no need to go looking for attention when he’s not home because my Man is highly blessed in that department so I can hold out. Besides he’ll give me an allowance to make up for the time he is not there. All the while knowing I’m following my dreams and ambitions to provide a better living for the Earth and all species that dwell within it(is my destiny). My Love will be my strength, durability, and my backbone and I his ptsd medicine. Jhahod my love I’m waiting. From Nataya
Forgive me, I’m such a romantic but I believe in THE POWER OF THE ALL MIGHTY CREATOR. Which is why I know my other half is out there we just haven’t met yet.
Please understand that it doesn’t take a rich man/woman to be rich, happy, and content. What it takes is loyalty, honesty, trust, most of all communication and the willingness to compromise.Someone who you can share your deepest secrets without fear of how it may seems or sound because he/she truly understands everything and anything about you . Knowing that you have someone who will piss you off before you go to bed but wake you up happy just because he/she are next to you .
.
Somebody to share the struggle , the good, the bad, the best, and worst times without breaking bad. Now that’s what I call love.
*barf* Learn how to spell. You do get one part right: “low in social standing woman like yourself”……
Did you want me to indulge in your negativity. Sorry Hun. Even though I’m low in social standing I have hell of class.
I liked what u said. I bet I have a story u have never had before. Its incredulous. I want to tell u. I wonder what u like. What u talk like. I woder lots of things. Lol. Im sure u do to. Look forward to hearing from you.
I ❤️It!
Thanks
Let me know when you’re ready to share. I’d love to hear.
Time and time I fantasize
About someone who is all mine
Love so rare its been defined
Forbidden since the ancient times
Drowning deep in impure thoughts
Perverted sex that stained my heart
Lingered in my after thought
The name of who have stole my heart
Obsessive fantasy leave my mind
Controlling thoughts that steal my time
Visions of one so divine
His face not clear this is a crime
Bless me with your loving grace
That locks my heart within your brace
I have no name for this poem
True Love
Awesome poem
Faling in lust not love.
I thought of that but as it stands it’s only one I fantasize about, and that’s my true love.
However the other name was Desire.
Interesting article and the comments on this one are definitely just as interesting! A real eye opener for me.
Is good to be someone rich he ll take good of you but be careful friends we all need money is a good thing of life ,,,,,,but is u are a good guy n also rich u can call me let b friends 08149108209
It’s a complicated world. Wealth is great, but dignity perseverance and hardwork is more satisfying than searching for a rich man. I’ve dated 3 billionaires according to my countries standard… I felt like a furniture most of the time..when around them. Il rather marry a working class average man now, and get all the love and attention when I get back home to him. Then work together on him becoming a billionaire.
3 billionaires? Well done! How did you manage to build a relationship with them? 1 is impressive enough! Were you not able to marry them?
I want say something for those who say about us ( ladies wanting rich guy) so many bad things….I’m separated after 12 years of marriage, few other relationships but I have many friends with opinion like mine. Why I want rich guy ? Because I finished with ‘sponsoring’ partner/s when I do my best, work hard night and days (financial specialist within government organisation) to pay bills, golf or horse lessons for my daughter, drive nice car, live in nice home with seeing basic stuff aren’t done by my partner at home, move out means me literally liftin heavy boxes, promises aren’t keep and the only what is done is work ( employment). I’m tired and just want strong, independent guy who will be real partner to share life with. I don’t want weak pu*** who put everything on my shoulders, I’m not materialistic, empty lady but I’m not gonna be in relationship any longer with someone who only take!
So much unhealthy and harmful advices..
As a moderately successful man that has now fallen on leaner but not necessarily hard times I came to this page to read about how ladies think. For some time I have suspected the only reason why my partner is with me is because of the lifestyle she can enjoy from the money I earn. By no exaggeration, every cent I earn goes on trying in vain to keep her happy so that we are happy. I fell so deeply in love with my partner but now I have no choice but to ask for our monthly spending to drop she has become viciously hostile, mentally and at times physically abusive to me. All I want in my life is to feel the closeness in spirit to someone who will stay together with me until the end. My trust in how women are, how they think and what they want is all but completely broken.
If she really loved you, should would HAPPILY adjust the spending down as she would understand your current financial difficulties.
Been there, done that. I don’t honestly know if you can ever be 100% sure if a woman loves you for you unless you pretend to be “poor”. I clicked on this article for the same reason you did. Gold digging woman are disgusting trash. I have done “social experiments” on them. Like pulling up to a coffee stand in an old beat up car and asking a woman on a date. It is amazing the difference in treatment you get when you pull up in an expensive sports car. Yes almost all of them are gold diggers. I had a poor girlfriend who I helped tremendously. Paid her medical bills, took care of her vehicle needs, nice vacations. She let her true feelings out telling me that I was a “piece of garbage selfish A$$hole” when I wouldn’t pay off her student loans and send her to alcohol rehab. Not that I couldn’t afford it, but I hate being treated like an ATM machine. I have these problems and I am only 35 years old, an average 5’9″ tall, good looking and well built from working out all of my life. I have come to the conclusion that woman don’t actually love a man, they love what they perceive they can gain from him, or what he can do for her. Then you have to get a prenup and everything else. That is why so many men, moneyed or not are going MGTOW. I hate to tell you, but you will never be able to buy this woman’s happiness with money, she will bleed you dry. That is the kind of woman that I had, and I was much happier when I sent her down the road. I know the kind of closeness and love you are talking about wanting from a woman, but this one, unless she has an epiphany, will never give it to you. I have friends with old fashioned foreign wives that love them through thick and thin, truly for better or worse, for richer or poorer I have seen it with my own eyes, it does exist. You may have to start over. Good luck and God bless. As for me, time to hide the wealth again and find a down to earth farm girl.
Gold digging women are disgusting trash?? What about men who fuck and objectify women with no intentions of caring for her? Women who want financial security vs men who just want a good looking person to bang….What sounds more unreasonable and shallow? “It is amazing the difference in treatment you get when you pull up in an expensive sports car”…Well it is amazing to see the difference between how I’m treated when I’m dressed “sloppily” and in a fat suit vs. how I’m treated when I’m showing a face full of makeup and as little clothing as possible. Men don’t actually love women, they just like what they think women can do for them. Yeah…it goes both ways dude.
I am a woman, and I come from a well off family. I have always worked hard and dated men not based on income or looks but what I thought was love. My first relationship was fully abusive (he beat me because he wanted to control me and could not handle any men looking at me) I left, of course. My next long term started ok, but he would make me feel like garbage, tell me mutual friends didn’t like me (which wasn’t true, he just wanted to control me), he told me my businesses would fail, etc, Im an idiot and stayed with him 7 years…. the last 3 years he was financially dependent, but Im loyal and kept hoping he would get it together. 2 years after we broke up he told me he didn’t know what to do with his life now that he didn’t have my money…. :( And my latest relationship is in a similar financial bracket as I, but it took him 5 years to ask me to marry him and only after I left him twice and cried because I couldn’t believe that I was once again in a relationship that was going no where. And for the record, I am quite attractive, fit, work out 1-2 hours a day, make a reasonable living and don’t depend on my partners for money. I have low self esteem when it comes to my personal life, but high when it comes to my work. I am good at what I do. I keep hoping that I will find love and be able to have children, but I think my time for that is getting tight… So it goes both ways I guess. There are male gold diggers out there. And men need to stop leading us on if they have no thoughts of marriage. Its not fair to women. Most of us want kids and marriage and love. I’m honestly really tired of it all, and I find that this latest set back has brought be to a really dark place where I feel like I have nothing left to look forward to. Money and making money is fine but if you aren’t in love and don’t have love…. what’s it all worth? Friendships are hard to maintain, everyone I know works hard and long hours, as do I. If you don’t have family, you don’t really have anything to build towards. At least for me. I know some people are really happy without.
I’m writing to u because not all girls are like that.. Most country girls are down to earth would choose a day out horse back riding over a vacation.. Unless that’s just me.
I feel bad for u… I feel bad she was an alcoholic.. But don’t give up there are a lot of girls out there that have motive they have good incentives.. I’m an average girl.. But everyone exept the person I’m with tell me I’m such a kind person I have customers come to me random to just thank me for helping them thanking me for being thoughtful thanking me for taking the time to just b understanding and kind.. Sometimes the good girls are disguised.. They work in retail.. Or ur local shops.. Take time to talk to one see i work in a pretty wealthy town.. I don’t judge.. Lol in fact if I guy ever rolled up next to me in a nice car or a beater.. I’d be confused.. Especially if it’s a nice car In fact I probably wouldn’t even think that ur actually talking to me and keep going.. And then me being a careful loyal girl.. The first thing I always say to someone trying to talk to me I’m in a relationship.. I believe to hide nothing.. Always tell the truth.. And if u ain’t got nothing nice to say don’t say nothing at all..
You could always find a successful and/or wealthy girl. Trust me, as one of these people I have no desire for a guy’s money. In fact, in my relationships I do the whole “pretend to be poor” thing as well. That, and I insist on paying my own way.
Bitter, much? If you were so great, you would have no problem meeting and keeping a great girl. The one you mentioned was not, but that doesn’t mean all women are like that, and it’s extremely ignorant and childish to say so. My ex bought me a brand new mkz for my birthday in our 6 year together… Then lost absolutely everything. I stayed as I loved him deeply, and got a job, then 2 jobs. He wasn’t rich when I first met him, either.
My ex was abusive. Does that mean all men are? Of course not, what flawed logic. As is yours.
Hi I am a poor woman I just need a honest and loverble man doesn’t matter if he is rich or poor but if he has the love and honest that the man I’m looking for could you help me find someone..
okay maybe u will find me somewhat ‘unique’ but let me spare u some advice. why do u have to limit your life to finding someone to be with forever? don’t get me wrong but isn’t it some sort of empowering to live on your own? happiness does not come a from a person. be kind towards others and have a great personality and character can also give one’s happiness. of course, the ultimate happiness come from God. when u have God and u feel His love what more do u need? I am perfectly happy and content just by loving God and live according to His will.
of course there are problems I encounter in my life but I never thought of it as a problem. being a nice person sometimes get u in trouble such as men easily fell in love with me or they thought I like them but that’s not it. I’m just nice to everyone. EVERYONE. regardless they are rude or somewhat cold towards me. it’s the way u live ur life u know. in fact, I don’t have one guy friend because they will start being awkward or shy around me after a few minutes talking to me. I hate that. how can I be friend with a guy or communicate with them normally if all they think about is they want to be more than friend with me? GOD, THIS IS HARD! I’m not even graduate yet I always get these kind of treatment. how am I suppose to work with men when I enter real life? I mean the work field. this is what concerns me the most as I had encounter with many man that gave their numbers, expecting me to call or message them because I’m not a woman who easily gave their number to a guy they barely know. maybe I’m too friendly but believe me, I have tried to keep it low when I communicate with men but still they easily like me on the spot. u think I like that? absolutely not! I want men to act normal towards me. not suddenly give me special treatment or being shy and smiling sheepishly everytime they talk to me. God, all I ask for is normal treatment.
so the point is, when u being completely submitted to God, be kind, and help those in needs, make them happy, then u will be happy too. u don’t need a human to make u happy. as long as u happy with urself, u will live a happy life. trust me. I live by this motto and so far, it’s men who come after me, but I never reciprocate their feelings. maybe I’m afraid of men affection towards me. I don’t know. being born as the only girl in siblings does make u an independent person.
take my advice okay. like I said, don’t limit ur happiness or put ur happiness in someone’s hand. u don’t need someone to make u happy as long u have God.
may u find that happiness.
regards :)
Not all are women are “Gold Diggers” lol. I divorced and was raising my five children, working 3 jobs, preparing two meals/daily and running a business, so that we would have much extra and I would not accept child support for necessities/desires. I then met my second husband after a year of courting, he asked me to marry him and allow him to take care of me and my children. We married and even though I knew that I did not have to continue working, to maintain my lifestyle, I kept working and running my business. He begged me to at least let go of two jobs, telling me that I worked too much and I should hire a housekeeper because he was tired of watching me take care of everyone and not have adequate time for myself. He told me that I was the first woman that loved him for him. He passed away in 2012. He was a fabulous man, so classy, smart, strong, honest, loving, fun, etc. I should have cloned him lol. My good friend told me that I was in trouble if something were to happen to him, she was right…No one has compared to him since. It is not just about money either.
To all those rich men out there… Just so you know… The next time u go to your local grocery store, cvs, bank any of those there are girls like me who would love a simple hello and thank you.. . I live pay check to pay check.. No successful relationships and two beautiful little boys. Im ambitious I wish I can go to school everyday.. But my children need me I’m with someone but it seems it may not last.. He doesn’t work near as much as I do although he does help me with my kids… He acts like he is rich tho.. Constantly messing with my image.. Telling me I’m not skinny enough.. I work 40+ hrs sometimes and take care of all household work while he pretty much sleeps all day. He always tells me I’m a mess up.. Any way.. That’s was more of a rant.. I hear stories of women who treat men who try to do everything for them all the time of the women being horrid and horrible.. My main goal in life is to become a pediatric rn, I want to work with children or the mentally ill.. I want to help people.. I would love to be able to walk out of my house knowing the guy in with can handle the house hold.. Cook mabye clean even.. Idc about money… I don’t care about how much u have I care about love.. All that is just extra.. I mean don’t get me wrong not having to worry about not having money at all it must feel great.. I’m the type that would still worry tho.. I would still want to go to work.. Or go to school get degrees for what I love to do.. Join an organization I would feel free knowing that if I wanted to volunteer I would be able to and I wouldn’t have to worry about not getting my pay check cut and having no money… I look at these women who seem to not have a clue as to how lucky they are to have someone by they’re side ready to help u.. I can’t ask for help from my partner he can’t help me.. He is tired of “helping” with my kids.. All I have is one day…. So the next time u see someone working at ur local stores send a good vibe for me… Do a good deed.. Never judge a book by the cover!
Then why are you with someone who constantly insults you?!
Grow up and learn to stand on your own two feet. Pay your own bills without relying on a guy and for heaven’s sake, STOP BREEDING. If you can’t feed ’em (or care for them properly), don’t breed ’em!
I never said I couldn’t do it on my own.. I meant to say I don’t want to feel owned by another person for trying to live life with them… I never said I can’t feed them.. It’s easier when two people help each other and r spect each other, I’m also trying to evacuate this person from my life.. It’s not easy when someone will Hurt u physically…
Plus I didn’t say I wanted more children either
You dated the wrong girl. I don’t like my man paying for me unless it’s a date even then I’ll pay for dates sometimes. For his bday I bought him football tickets for him and his dad. My BF makes more then enough to support both but I hate where he works, I want him to pursue his dream job even if it means we are poorer. Netflix and chill is still a good date lol.
It sounds like you may have selected the wrong partner. If she isn’t willing to adjust her spending you will have to let her go. Was she with you before you had money? Has she ever had to earn money on her own? If not it maybe very hard for her to adjust her lifestyle. She may just try to find another man to meet your spending requirements. I would advise men to not reveal their level of wealth when meeting a woman to see how she responds to you when she doesn’t know you have money.
Would love to be connected to a rich guy. Not to date per say but to get involved in the kind of business he does. We can pick it up from there. Am really desperate to be rich
is $380,000 even that much!? my dad made $2 million a year for 7 years plus $1 million+ in previous years combined! but he acts like he makes 20,000 a year. Won’t spend over $30,000 on a car and complains about anything that costs over $10 ugh
Time to ask dad for some money, kick back, and enjoy life! But maybe you should try and earn $380,000 a year first before questioning whether it is a lot of money.
Read: A Massive Generational Wealth Transfer Is Why Everything Will Be OK
I completely understand. I totally agree with your father.
wanna love a wealthy man to death .
May be someone out there knows what i am talking about and know how its like to be invisible mostly by the one person you are in love with. I was in love an unhappy married man.His marriage was going to limbo and i was the only one there for him. He only saw me as a friend but he was more than that to me. I wish i had the heart to tell him before the went ahead and got married then, may be he would never had be unhappy and may be we both would have been together. Yeah it turned out i was too much or a chicken. Though we are together now literally because of the spell Metodo Acamu a very powerful spell caster i must say helped me cast to make him love me just as i loved him. A lot of people may have different opinion as to if what is did is wrong or right but really, it do not matter because he was in pain and his life was falling to pieces and i was his friend who was in love with him. I knew he was going to be happy with me and he is now. For the first time in three years i have he really happy i mean he tells me every time how free he feels . We are perfect together and i know we are always going to be like this. This would not be the case if not for the spell Metodo Acamu helped me cast. All that was required of me were just the materials that was going to be used to prepare the spell and note Metodo Acamu does not do spells for money i wish i knew why but i do not. He told me that i should get the materials needed for the spell preparing he told me to get them myself and if i can’t find the materials all i had to do was send the total cost for it so he can help me. It wasn’t easy to get them but i found them but it took a lot form me i would advice against getting them yourself because there are not only hard to but also difficult to mail believe me. I am only writing this short article for those out there with problems similar to the one i had. If you want to contact him use this email its what i used metodoacamufortressx@(yahoo). com rewrite this email in the usual email standard form for use.
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Natalia This is the story of my life that i am still pondering upon even as i write this article.I maybe judged and i may not be but even if i am judged, no one can ever know my real personality or family.I have been asking myself if i should let the world know about this or maybe i should just keep it to myself cos most people might think am crazy.All the same am telling my story. my husband has four kids and we have a happy family.It wasn’t always just like that.Before my husband, i have been married to five different men.Yeah five, all five marriages failed after six months not cos we had problems or the relationships was on the rock they just come and go without good reason.It was easy to say i was cured by someone or something.I had a feeling there was something about me that wasn’t just appealing in the site of all the men that claimed to love me to death.The entire puzzle of my life just seem to fall into place when i met my present husband i fall hardly in love with him like he also did.It was all in his eye that he loved me with all he’s got.Yeah we got married but just after the first six months as always he just wanted out as every other man that i was married to.I never really wanted to let go of any of my ex husband i was willing to fight for the marriage but they bluntly weren’t ready for that.But this, i just got tired of same old same old thing just wanted a steady marriage with the love of my life.I tried marriage counseling with him which is suppose to me the best way to resolving marital problem but he was like its been tattooed in his mind that he wanted out of our marriage.I WANT TO LEAVE A QUESTION FOR ANYONE READING THIS CAN A WOMAN REALLY BE HAPPY OR FEEL COMPETE WHEN EVERY OF HER MARRIAGE FAILS.CAN A WOMAN EVER FEEL LIKE THEY BELONG IN THE SOCIETY WHEN EVERY MAN SHE IS MARRIED TO REJECT HER AFTER A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME WITHOUT ANY COURSE?FOR ME MY ANSWER IS A NO COS I KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS FOR ME AND
MY FAMILY IT AFFECTED ME PSYCHOLOGICALLY BUT I WAS TOO STRONG TO BREAK DOWN COS I HARD TO FIGHT FOR KIDS WHO LOOK AT THEIR MOM AS INVINCIBLE AND STRONG.Honestly don’t know how and when i contacted a spell caster to help me.AT FIRST IT WAS JUST TO SEE HOW TRUE AND HOW HE COULD REALLY HELP ME FIX MY PROBLEM LITTLE DID I KNOW IT WAS HE SOLUTION TO MY GRIEVING PAIN.His name IS Dr okpapiami i think he was of great help cos i honest remember that he helped me save my marriage and made me helped myself to feel loved again.Its being one year and six months exactly since he cast a spell to make my husband stay till dead do us part and my husband is still with me now and we are happy and in love just like how we were for the first six months.I will be fully convinced if we get to celebrity our 50th year anniversary.I don’t want any body to see this article like it was meant to make you contact him.I am just sharing my experience on how Mutton helped me restore my marriage with spell casting and i should tell you he does not charge for his services all you are to do is to provide materials he will be needing for the spell casting.If you feel he can help you solve any of your problem contact him here ({okpapiamishrine@gmail.com Phone +27610682653} ) this was what i used to contact him good luck
May be someone out there knows what i am talking about and know how its like to be invisible mostly by the one person you are in love with. I was in love an unhappy married man.His marriage was going to limbo and i was the only one there for him. He only saw me as a friend but he was more than that to me. I wish i had the heart to tell him before the went ahead and got married then, may be he would never had be unhappy and may be we both would have been together. Yeah it turned out i was too much or a chicken. Though we are together now literally because of the spell Metodo Acamu a very powerful spell caster i must say helped me cast to make him love me just as i loved him. A lot of people may have different opinion as to if what is did is wrong or right but really, it do not matter because he was in pain and his life was falling to pieces and i was his friend who was in love with him. I knew he was going to be happy with me and he is now. For the first time in three years i have he really happy i mean he tells me every time how free he feels . We are perfect together and i know we are always going to be like this. This would not be the case if not for the spell Metodo Acamu helped me cast. All that was required of me were just the materials that was going to be used to prepare the spell and note Metodo Acamu does not do spells for money i wish i knew why but i do not. He told me that i should get the materials needed for the spell preparing he told me to get them myself and if i can’t find the materials all i had to do was send the total cost for it so he can help me. It wasn’t easy to get them but i found them but it took a lot form me i would advice against getting them yourself because there are not only hard to but also difficult to mail believe me. I am only writing this short article for those out there with problems similar to the one i had. If you want to contact him use this email its what i used metodoacamufortressx@(yahoo). com rewrite this email in the usual email standard form for use…
rich men are pretty much like any other men except they were lucky to strike it rich…
a lot of rich men are not that much smarter than the average person they just have skills that got them there…
so treat them and be treated like any other person with the sole difference that these men dont want the same stress in their life that they have in their job.
i know this stuff cause i run hepays.com . its specifically for women to meet rich men
I love to have one rich man. can you make the wonderful person for me.
regarding
jamineya
Daniel, your mostly right…but wealthy men almost never…like next to zero…got there by being “lucky and striking it rich”
99+% of the time they worked much longer, harder & smarter than most.
And!…were disciplined not to overspend what they made!
I’m with a wealthy guy and I love him so much! He basically hand picked me at 18 (he’s um; twice my age); I had no idea he was wealthy or anything, until about a year and a half later. Yes, always on phone, always busy, very hardworking and little patience for people who can’t meet up to his standards. He’s met my parents, also. He said a long time ago a girl would have to be very understanding to be with him. I learn a lot from him about running a business, wealth, etc. There is truly no one in this world like him and I really enjoy his company! Plus, some of the nice things he has are just fun sometimes!
Glad you are happy! Please tell us how he “hand picked” you? What culture are you from? How does this work? Thanks
Um. I think this article is very interesting. I obviously for one couldn’t help clicking and reading it. But I do disagree with many of these points. In that I feel like the expectations that money can attract quality women is off. I think money, like any other advantage in life (eg. if you were born extra good looking or extra charming or extra intelligent) is an attractive quality and it certainly helps your chances, but if you have really absurdly high standards for your partner you will end up alone.
Most people end up marrying those that they like and are just around. People who are of equal social status tend to marry one another. I think sensible rich men would try to marry rich women and so on so forth. Because it is just easier that way. You don’t have to worry about them stealing your money.
Take for example the following pairs:
Bill and Melinda Gates
Beyoncé and Jay-Z
(the late) Steve Jobs and Laurene Powell
All of these people are about equal attractiveness, education background, upbringing, career field, and equal accomplishments. Unequal pairings tend not to last. If you want a rich spouse, then you need to become rich too.
What do they all have in common? They are about equal.
Melinda met Bill when she was WORKING for him and Beyonce was not as well off when she met Jay-Z, she said it herself. These women married up and knew what they were doing. You kind of dissproved your point.
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I am very sorry for your loss. I am sure your children are devastated as well. So sad that a your wife and mother was separated from her family in this way.
I just want to say that you are a very fortunate man to have had such a loving wife and children.
To me, your late wife’s opportunistic friend did mislead you. It is obvious that she did provide you and your kids with a certain amount of emotional support. Then she was very aggressive about economic security for herself.
While I certainly understand why you would push her away at this point, bear in mind that she did provide comfort, despite her ulterior motives.
If you feel the economic price you paid is too high, I would definitely get a lawyer involved. If it is an emotional price, I would recommend you walk away having been the wiser.
Unfortunately many people are taken advantage of by opportunistic people who leave psychological and emotion ruin in their wake.
Ask yourself what the reason for pursuing a lawsuit might be. I would think, from the sound of your comment, that the main reason you would take legal action would be to help prevent someone else from falling prey to this woman and to shine a light on her ulterior motives.
If not too much money is at stake, I would not push for the money as she did help you with your children in your time of need.
Obviously she is a very needy woman. Perhaps the only reason to make a case of it is to warn another widower in advance.
Perhaps you can do that on a personal level, just as your friends stepped in to talk to you.
How much would you be willing to pay an attorney? An expensive personal vendetta on top of losing your wife might not be worth it. Only you know if the “friend” is such a menace that it is worth pursuing a legal case or if the money is a very significant amount.
I hate to tell you this, but the death of your loved one seems like an “opportunity” to another person.
Perhaps the emotional toll her actions have taken on your family is so heavy that a legal case may be therapeutic for you.
You sound like a sober minded individual. Proceed cautiously and you will make the best decision for your own peace of mind.
I hate sound repetitive, but loads of single people who are never married with no kids get mislead by a romantic partner every day of the week. Only you can determine if it is worth going to a court of law. That said, I would not condone any person trying to manipulate another in their time of grief. It is morally wrong. I can tell you the conduct I have seen first hand upon the death of a loved one can be atrocious.
Perhaps this woman needs a wake up call. It is nice to be kind. You got out of it soon enough. I hope the economic loss was not too great.
Good luck.
I have never date a rich man in my whole life. I would like to meet one very rich man that can take me from this life of misery.
Like marries Like. It sounds as though English is your second language, due to the ungrammatical sentence you posted. You need to improve yourself. A wealthy man is not going to marry someone from a third world unless that person is also successful, i.e., you will not catch a wealthy man to ‘rescue’ you. You have to rescue yourself.
Really? You must not follow your “English speaking” men are evolving to finding good natured women that they don’t mind guiding than their own masculine women here. Did you know interracial marriages are (surprise for you) more successful?! People like you living in their own bubble get on my nerves. The fact someone can’t express their thoughts in English doesn’t make them retards; it just means they have another language which you probably won’t know anything about!
Very interesting read. My life has recently changed drastically as my wife of 17 years passed away in October 2013 after battling breast cancer for 5 years. I never pictured myself dating in my 40s (I was 43, now 44) as I was happily married. However, you must go with the cards life deals you.
After her death, I had many divorcees looking to ‘help me out’. I did need help as I have 3 younger kids. One woman who was a friend of my wife and is very attractive was over all the time. Well, we did end up dating. It ended after a few months. She was 49, very attractive, twice divorced, and broke. I mean broke like couldn’t pay her rent broke. I discovered from other women who know her that her showing up at my door after my wife’s death was not an accident. She began borrowing money from me. Larger and larger amounts. She talked marriage (say what? My wife, your friend, just died six months ago) She said she wanted a $10K diamond ring if we got engaged. She wanted to buy a very large, expensive house together. She liked borrowing my Audi.
I was in a grief fog so I was pretty blind to all this at the time. I look back now and realize, wow, what was I thinking. I got out before major damage. I later found out the trail of financial destruction she had bestowed upon another man a few years prior. She still owes me a lot of money. I keep getting ‘check’s in the mail’ when I reach out to her. However, if need be, my attorney says I have an airtight case to sue her for the money. I am really trying to avoid this as I did know her for 8 years as my wife’s friend but eventually I will need to take action.
I can relate to this article. Interestingly, this woman violated almost very ‘tip’ given in the article other than taking care of herself. “Buyer beware”
I would be happy if the man in my life is the man I need instead of the man I want.
Having money and a career means that you have your shit together. I don’t want to meet anyone who doesn’t have their shit together in their 30s as I have my shit together in my 30s. In fact my guy friend said that I am one of the few women he knows that has their shit together that is available.
Some guy I met recently said that he made $150 that day for doing some work. He told me that the people he worked for were rich! I was so confused as he has no idea what really is rich. He felt like that was a lot for his work and he was proud, but I don’t see that as being successful at all and makes me not interested in him. I like the honesty, but the perception of the world at his age is skewed.
God forbid if many of you women had to work as hard as the women back in the old days, and both men and women back then had to struggle to make ends meat. Consider yourselves very lucky because you would’ve had it real tough.
This topic had to be written by a real Stupid woman, and first of all there just so many very high maintenance women out there today looking for a rich man. Just too many very Pathetic women out there nowadays that can’t even Accept a man for himself anymore.
lots of insecure poor boys here i see doing what they do best call woman names,why bother writing at all ? i guess they have no idea there are just as many of their lecherous pier males looking for a rich woman to support them, so this article could have just as easily been written by one of those. & yes having not to worry about money is a lot better then having to worry about it, and yes your right there are many ‘gold diggers’ who will get fake breasts & fish lips with their rich mates money, but what ever woman do males do the same exact thing, so next time you want to just call names, think first maybe.
High Maintenance Women are without a doubt the Worst women to date, and they’re just too Rich for my blood.
How to be a professional golddigger/prostitute 101. Can you handle lying all the time? Are you a good actor? You better take a drama class in college before you try this shit…ya damn hoe.
Hello, are there any nice.kind,sincere, animal loving GENTLEMAN on here that would like to chat with a kind,caring,honorable, animal loving woman, Him 58+ me 51 country girl fields & horses here. I see the gold digger comments & yes there is a LOT of that going on but take it from the female bread winner in all my long past relationships, there are just as many or more male ‘gold diggers’ out there as female gold diggers. But I have been rich & I have been poor & struggling & wondering where every dime is coming from & worrying how you will call the vet if one of your beloved animals needs one & always having to be stressed over the next bale of hay is no way to live & good hard working men who can afford horses & that are willing to help a woman who owns them, well lets say IMPOSSIBLE to find. If i love an animal more then life itself, you would have to think caring for my man & loving him more then life itself if he does the same for me is a given, so ‘gold digger’ hardly. You just have to find a way to stop struggling or die young from the stress of it & a male companion to add to the stress is not happening period, they all want to have sex as one person here said, sex is the least important thing , companionship & caring comes first ( this is where the gentleman thing would come in) & those are almost impossible to find anymore. i would love to have a nice older gentleman that had the means to care for me & my beloveds properly is all & we could make each others lives nicer, someone to sit with & just be with & do fun things with, you can’t do a lot of fun things being broke all the time, being broke sucks. Of course a man for me would be a bit older & even possibly retired or close to it. Men my age all want to have sex with their daughters & well lets say i need a more mature man that that anyway . If there is anyone that wants to chat .
Some of you are sounding like a bunch of gold digging bitches, if I was a rich man I would run for the hills. All I have to say is just be honest about your intention, you never know he might agree to an allowance to keep you around IF HE/SHE with the resources choose. Remember they will have the upper hand. BULLSHIT WALKS and MONEY TALKS, so if you ain’t got your own and you get used, just remember its not nice to use people, and the tables can turn they can use you too. How about findinging someone you respect and if they happen to be rich great. Money is only good for material things that you will have nice things, but you don’t have to have a nice man, he could be a major asshole because he didn’t get rich being a choir boy even though he might choose to be good to you. MONEY is not everything its a lot it don’t cover. Date RICH men at your own risk, women are throwing sex at them, so deal with that too, I just hopes he respects you and is faithful in this world of AIDS and Herpes. How about getting your SHIT, nothing is sexier than a woman who has her own and holds her own. NEVER play hard to get like you don’t want him, he will see through it. Be your natural self RICH men didn’t get rich being stupid they KNOW A PHONY just like you do a mile away. Good lucK but don’t count on it.
Most rich men are fairly loyal family men. They are the breadwinners at the later part of life, but they often meet their significant other before they are wealthy, and sometimes the wife needs to support them in the beginning. I have never noticed that wealthier men are likely to be scoundrels. And many of the wealthier men I know, hang around with poorer friends they have known all their life. I don’t really think I agree with this article exactly, except that a lot of them are worry warts, and a lot of them are cheapskates. But then, if you love someone, you protect them, thats how all men are. I think if you asked a wealthy man if they wanted a wife that was independently wealthy, they would say; yes, but I also think they would be lying. They like the control being the one with the money gives them, even if that control is largely imaginary.
I am married to a rich man… He is always busy and spends no time for me… always tired, even in bed. spends more money for his colleagues to show them their wealth than me and cares more about them than me… it was a challenge for him to catch me and after marrying my life is all for others… Ladies if you are not married, go for someone who cares about you, loves you and is ready to spend time with you…. – See more at: https://www.financialsamurai.com/how-to-get-a-rich-man-to-be-your-boyfriend-or-husband/comment-page-1/#comment-215932
Hi, got to this post because I am finding myself in a similar situation. I met him at a conference and I was my friendly self. He had the sincerest smile and I found him interesting. I was surprised that he invited me for dinner afterwards.
The following day we met and that’s when I realized how rich he is. I automatically got intimidated and completely “freaked” at how much much he is out of my league.
By the way, he is 22 years older than me. When we met, he automatically concluded that I was older because of my position in the industry.
He would text me each morning when he wakes and at night before he sleeps…and would call me at least once a day. It feels wonderful but I am scared. (Of what, I am not sure) He is usually formal when we meet. But can get free with his emotions in texts.
He has invited me for an overnight stay in one of his beach houses as his guest but I have not yet obliged him. I feel it is too soon.
For someone who is secured in herself, I suddenly feel nervous around him. I feel like I suddenly don’t know anything. I am even tempted to end whatever this is that is starting. Help!
Once I had a short relationship with a Rich boy who was 4.5 yrs younger than me. Then I dumped him because I got to know he is a flirty. But we are still good friends and he still appreaciate me. At that time what I understood is for a Richman what is more important is if you will accept him even without his money. This boy I met was the only son of a rich dad. So he mostly attract women for his money. But if you can appreaciate him for himself , he will fall for you more than anyone else. And of course Richmen like independant women. If you can show him you do not want his money, but only him that will be a big plus.
Dear Samurai,
Thank you for the article. Apart from providing the very obvious tips it also gave a huge insight to the life of the wealthy – how they think and what they value. And how to think like the wealthy. I *loved* the article. Made the rich more human.
As for the very emotional and negative comments – maybe its because people don’t want to believe that its so easy to get a rich husband/boyfriend. That the core was ‘self-value’. That money isn’t a demon. That it offers choices and experiences and satisfaction from life. This article makes us question ourselves and then when we don’t like what we realise….then we lash out.
It was beautifully written. Again. Thank you.
You’re welcome Meher. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and I hope you find someone you love, if not already.
wow….you responded in two minutes!
Thank you for the prayer….but…not a *rich* someone to love??
@Anne,
You should read Ela’s comment on Feb 24, 2014 :)
Time is always utilized to make money.
How insightful but I have a question, FS. I believe wealthy people tend to be savers that live ridiculoulsy below their means. I haven’t been impressed with the yacht/gold club types (‘big hat, no cattle’ phenomenon). I do free clubs and activities, which just reflect a cross-section of society.
So… where are they really? Sounds like they are, like me, at the office working late on their own. :(
I never dated a rich guy but I dated a guy who came from a former rich family, meaning he was raised in a rich environment. He has total entitlement issues, no one has ever told him “no” so he gets very unstable, he will try to punish you emotionally, threaten to kill himself etc. If he feels you are getting out of his control he will attack whatever he feels is giving you “strength” to challenge him. He has racist, sexist views and of course he cannot even begin to understand the wrongness of it because he’s so immersed in white rich culture. For example he believes women should owe him if he’s done something “nice” to them, (oh and you certainly can’t turn down any gifts, and if it’s totally unprompted and you didn’t want it then you are just ungrateful!) he believes that he deserves, as in entitled, to a “nice woman”, well you can’t deserve people because you can’t own people. Also he feels that he’s had “no help’ and he got everything he did by himself. That is SO laughable, he got two cars, paid college tuition, several loans and his mother and sister are always there to aid him in food and clothes, a free roof over his head into his mid twenties. Damn, I wish I had as much as “no help” as he did.
Advice, never compromise with guys, you only give them control over your life, YOUR life, and they will guilt you and manipulate you and tell you you are a bad person but in my honest opinion and literally the best thing I’ve ever done was to “brutally” put my foot down. It took two weeks because he just wouldn’t give up, crying and saying he was going to kill himself (because I told him a. I don’t care to hear about his “superior” arguments against feminists or black people r anything at all and then b. when I ignored him or get this, DIDN’T SEEM HAPPY when he ignored my request started crying, telling me I became an awful person and how I make him want to kill himself.)
I met a rich guy a week ago , he is really handsome and all. He started talking dirty with me on our chats and i played along. He then suggested that we meet in his office and have some fun , i told him that i really like him but i am not that kinda gal. He started telling me about how he has taste , class in women and has dated a lot of celebs and travelled the world. I felt so bad .He even said that difficult women turn him off . Now i am in a dilemma . I really like this guy but i dont want to compromise my values for that. What should i do ….
He’s playing you. 100 percent. He’s trying to make you feel bad, he’s trying to make you feel like you are making a poor choice that you are insignificant. Look, abusive men don’t have to have a hunch back or be cruel 100 percent all of the time, its a fact that the men who don’t get away with more abuse, and if you try to make things work with this guy you will only get more abuse.
What you should really do is tell him to back off, show no weakness. Don’t smile apologetically, don’t say sorry, just assert your will.
My daughter is a pretty young lawyer from a middle class family and is married to a handsome young, rich doctor from a wealthy family. All things being equal, what seemed to charm him the most was that, although she had dated many men over the years, she had only been intimate with one man before him. He was actually quite sexually active before he met my daughter(which is why she insisted on std testing before they were intimate!). Anyway, I guess what I’m getting at is that even though she is beautiful, fit, smart, and has many of the other attributes mentioned in the article; I think what made her stand out above the rest to him was that she had respect for herself and in turn, he valued her highly and wanted her to be his wife and the mother to his children.
Amen, mama! That’s me in a nutshell, but waiting to meet the right guy! Thanks for sharing that there are guys out there who see the worth of reaching for the apples at the top of the tree.
I agree with nearly every thing in this article and find it spot on. Especially the part about how a woman’s body and health is more important than beauty.
For my case though I disagree that money makes me feel more attractive. I’m rather reserved with how I use my money as well. I don’t spend it on things that show wealth like cars and clothing. I usually spend it on things that I enjoy but others won’t see like Good restaurants business class flights and really good cooking apparatus. This mindset of I want to shop among everyone else in walmart with millions in the bank and not a single other person would know it is likely because I don’t want a woman to want me for my money. I want her to want me for my hardworking ethics and I seek that in a woman mostly as well.
An interesting article. I won’t go into details or start any arguing, but my first thought was what an idiot has written this article, especially the second half – the advices for women. The article made me laugh. Where does your experience come from? Some of the advices as I think are exactly the opposite of what the woman should do. When I tried to show interest at dating sites and asked men questions about their jobs – they just disappeared or avoided answering. If the woman goes away for 3 months as it was adviced to follow her goals or goes away to parties alone with friends all the times – I doubt any man, not only a rich man, will be happy with, when she returns back no wonder if she finds some substitute at her place. Wearing comfortable clothes as advised like jeans and trainers won’t attract anyone. If I wear that and I do, men just don’t turn their heads. But if some less atractive woman passes by in short skirt and high heels she is still looked at. One important thing was missed, rich men want only women under 30 or under 25, if you are older than that the chances are deminishing increasingly. It seems these advices saying that the woman should be independent to attract a man concern the middle class men which are well off. Would be more helpful if the article described how to find a man who is rich for good human qualities and good traits of character or the one who preserved these traits of character in spite of getting rich and wasn’t spoilt by wealth.
One of my best advice for you is to not call men idiots. That might help increase your luck.
Second, communication skills are really important (speaking, writing in shorter paragraphs, etc). I think you need to work on that if you speak close to the way you write.
Good luck.
Can a wealthy man marry another wealthy woman. I am considered over ambitious and according to my parents, my overambitiousness is unhealthy for a lady like me because they think I ll never get married. They say men will be afraid of me.
Good questions. I’ve heard this intimidation excuse a lot. It depends more on personality and appearance imo.
I think wealthy women are great! I’m just scared of really aggressive women… but that’s just my own personal preference. Everyone is different.
With great difficulty. I was and still am trying to find answers, researching, reading the mentality behind it. I mean could he be so insecure to think that I could not love him for him? And I did not appreciate not having my back the most….. I still really love him, I don’t care about dinners and trips I get those anyway on my own in my line of work.
But I can’t be with someone who could wave a magic wand and have my back easily… And Not..
When a regular guy would and did help in a minute flat…
Some rich guys have this fear complex that all they have will soon be gone if they don’t ring-fence their wealth. Maybe he grew up extremely poor and has fears of going back. Maybe he’s heard too many stories of swindle. Or maybe he’s secretly looking for someone who is wealthier. It is tough to say. Sometimes, the more you make the stingier you become.
BTW, how did you stumble across this article anyway? I’m always curious to know. thx
Maybe that’s true. But personally, with rich/successful guys, asking for money is like the WORST thing you can do. Even if your kids are like dying or you have to live on the street. You should be REALLY careful (and really just avoid altogether) asking for financial help of any kind. Just drop hints you’re struggling financially and if he really cares about you, HE will make the decision to give you money (and really the decision needs to be his). This is SO important.
I know because being someone who came from no money to suddenly making money, all my poor friends seemed to suddenly want to borrow money. And in the end, due to money, I’m not friends with those people any more.
Hence why, I mention this. It’s not because rich/successful guys don’t care or love you, but money often is a VERY sensitive issue, so you need to tread carefully. If you do it right, they will happily hand money over without you ever needing to ask for a penny.
I dated a rich man for 7 months. I was not interested in him at the start. He pursued me. I had always been anti dating a rich guy as I didn’t want to look like a glorified prostitute. I am self employed, and put 2 kids through college. I run my own life.
Then I fell for him…..
He was very good to me, we connected on every level…
Then the magic day came… I had a bump in the road with my business, and was feeling emotional leading up to this day.
The day I asked him to help me financially (because I needed it) is the very day he suddenly broke it off…. I never asked for a thing, I pay for my own possessions etc.
I was shattered that he did not have my back….. I wasn’t asking for a dress…. It was important…
To this day I’m terrified if trusting or loving a man again…
He said he was worried I was too emotional and would become dependent on him….
Meanwhile I am here giving him my time, love and attention, moving my schedule to suit his corporate schedule as we would never see each other or find a connection otherwise. He agreed and was thankful that I would do this. It was the first time I really put a man first…
Yikes, sorry to hear about him not having your back. I would have helped you out 100%, no matter what. In fact, it would be my honor if you were my lady.
How did you get through the process?
I also wanted to mention that I think that in general, your article is good relationship advice period. Not just for women who want a rich guy, but for any woman who wants any guy. Most guys think the way you describe in your article! And most women do not think/act the way you describe in this article! So it’s good advice period. A good lesson to be learned form this article is that too many women approach men with the mindset “what can he do for me?” when women should try to think about what they bring to a relationship too.
I’ve been waiting to respond to this because I’m pretty ambivalent about this subject.
I wonder, though, is your article based on pointers from successful gold diggers, or from rich men knowing what they are looking for?
Because, well, I could probably give you some pointers from real successful gold diggers. I hail from the land of gold diggers, where competition is fierce the above list is not enough. In another life, I sort of…was one.
Until the day I fell in love with a poor guy who was the love of my life and I decided that I had all the tools to become wealthy on my own. Also, most people don’t share your respect for “resourceful women”. Being an Asian female, society is specifically very hard on “young pretty Asian girls with old rich white guys.” I didn’t want to be that chick. And I didn’t want all of my accomplishments, even if I genuinely did it on my own, to be because I married some wealthy powerful guy. I had been through enough crap not being given enough credit for my accomplishments in my life because I was “pretty”, but I’d lose ALLLL of my credit, past and future, if I married some rich dude. I wanted the respect that came with earning it all on my own. I grew up poor, I worked hard for everything I had, and I didn’t want to be seen as someone who took the easy way out. I mean, I worked hard in school, went to a Tier 1 US college, and studied abroad at one of the highest ranked universities in the world, for what, to impress a rich dude with clever conversation that they don’t usually hear coming out of a model chick’s mouth?
Anyway, rant over. It’s just ironic sometimes, because there are those, probably you too, Sam, that would say I made the wrong choice. It seems like nowadays that would be the consensus. They would say so because they were never in a similar situation, never had been presented with a such a choice, and think the choice would be so logical, so easy.
I love my children and my husband and wouldn’t trade them for the world. But it is weird sometimes, to remember who I used to be. What I used to look like. The keys to the mansion and Ferrari I used to have. Seeing people on TV and magazines that I used to have dinner with. While the new people around me fantasize about that life and saying they would drop everything for it. The same people would be so quick to tear me apart if I ever told them who I used to be though!!! There’s double standard for ya!
I suppose this is why I feel ambivalent about the subject. I’ve been on both sides of the story. Who I am today is someone who is motivated to BE someone on my own–I’m the breadwinner, I need to prove to myself I can do this. But I suppose for the women who really want to lock down a rich dude, I can advise. It would be fun to talk about it like that. I never really have before.
I think I know exactly how you feel. It must also feel annoying to be discredited based on your looks. How awesome does it feel to make it on your own yeah?
I’m all for more pointers “from successful gold diggers” if you would like to share. The article is based off my personal thoughts and experiences as well as insights from women who have explicitly told me this is their goal.
It’s fun to think back to how we were and who we are now.
I’m glad you know how I feel, it means a lot. I don’t even talk about that period of my life with anyone or these feelings, and it’s nice to hear that you agree I should feel awesome for making it on my own. I don’t get discredited anymore because I don’t look that way anymore–older now, dress differently, different hair color, carry myself differently, etc. I also gravitated towards a career/office in which I am rarely ever seen by anyone, 99% of the work I do is on the phone and computer and I have my own office. I’m also totally google clean and have no pictures of myself floating about the net connected with my current name.
Anyway, Sam, you did it again. You had me doing some serious introspection over the past few days thinking about that period in my life and what kind of “advice” I could give. And, well, I concluded that I have no advice to give, and that I wasn’t really a golddigger (I was labeled one after the fact by “friends” with double standards). I actually did not have a method I could share and nothing I did or what happened to me can really be replicated. I was not looking for a rich guy, it wasn’t even a goal. I didn’t go places looking for one hoping some would be there to meet, I didn’t know who was who when I went out, I didn’t dress or put on airs when around certain people. And, because I come from the land of golddiggers, I used to deliberately avoid and get grossed out by old rich dudes who would try to hit on me and put as much distance as possible between that “kind of girl” and me. Until, I finally did start dating rich guys, of which there were only two in my history, AND, they didn’t take care of me, they didn’t give me anything I couldn’t get even at that time on my own. Also, THEY found and pursued ME. And, gasp! I had a genuine connections with them!
I just wrote pretty much the whole story of how both of those relationships happened, and then deleted them because I think it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to post on a public site.
But I just want to say that you shouldn’t shy away from your controversial posts. You said your goal was to incite introspection and you have done just that. Forcing myself to think about it was better than therapy.
Thank you again, Sam.
A level headed response. May I ask why you think some have taken offense to this post? Does it undermine people? Because from all the conversations and inquiries this topic seems highly interesting to women and men.
Wow…. ;) So what does it say if both my wife and I were both dirt poor when we first met? At the end of the day, money is money but we appreciate our time together and building wealth together. On a side note, your post reminds me of Eddie Murphy, back in the day, as he was always talking about wanting a woman who would want to be with him because of him and not his money.
It means true love. That you were lucky to find each other so soon and never really cared about money despite running a personal finance site.
Eddie, that crazy guy.
Oh dear! Maybe it’d just be better to become a rich person yourself and let the other person come to you?
Certainly one way to look at it. You don’t have to try so hard just like a beautiful women doesn’t have to try as hard to attract a man.
My dad is a ‘rich man’ and my mom a trophy wife. I love them both, but growing up I knew I never wanted to be my mom. She doesn’t have a lot of autonomy in their relationship. She has a beautiful life, but it’s always been subject to his approval. That said, now it would be hard to find a man who lives up to my dad, even though I wouldn’t want to be my mom, I still wouldn’t want to marry less than my dad.
Anyways, good advice for single women. I think there comes a point in most of our lives where a successful man becomes more attractive to us than a pretty man. Maybe this happens at about 25. I’m attending the wedding this weekend of a friend who is marrying a very successful guy and he is totally smitten by her – she is gorgeous, a fantastic surfer (better than him), a great cook and has a good legal career of her own.
Ahh, a beautiful life with a lack of autonomy. What a predilection of sorts. To be autonomous is glorious. It is why so many long to quit their jobs and do something on their own. Unfortunately, it often takes money to be autonomous and it’s hard to have everything all the time.
I love weddings! Such happy times. I’ve never not cried at one yet. Wise words on there comes a point. I can’t really say anything as a man, but maybe you can elaborate better.
What is your current situation?
It was a tear jerker. Hawaiians really throw the best weddings – so beautiful and fun. They embody true love. My situation is almost single for the first time and almost hired into my dream job in academia and almost the happiest I’ve ever been!
Your post made me think of this viral e-mail that went around a few years back from a 25-year old girl looking for a wealthy man ($250,000 will not get her Central Park West so you need half a million to be up to her standards). In response, a banker calls this a bad business deal and a depreciating asset. An interesting read if you haven’t seen it already.
I have. Wrote about in in Jan, 2010. It was great!
https://www.financialsamurai.com/2010/01/08/the-best-post-on-craigslist-and-its-all-about-love-and-money/
I never knew there was a response from the girl. Very interesting…thanks for sharing. Although after reading the response…it makes me think that the whole thing was a prank. Still a fun read though.
Thanks Sam for an amazing article.
I’m in the early 30s, broke up with my gf and been single in the last 8 months. I don’t consider myself wealthy but based on your wealth index I’m in the upper range. Going through the dating scene now I can perfectly related to all of your points above. Gotta admit that it is not easy to find your better half so instead I am focusing to be a better me.
Sorry for the breakup Hiro. Better earlier than later as I try to always think. Good tactic focusing on a better self. You never know who you’ll meet one random rainy day. Best of luck!
Really enjoy your pf posts. Don’t enjoy your relationship posts. I would say your personal relationship articles hurts the credibility of this blog.
Thanks Chris. Could you explain why? I find the dynamics of relationship and money fascinating and many people have emailed me and searches for these answers in private before.
In my reader survey, I had someone say that I shouldn’t write anything more about health and fitness either which I was chuckling to. Why do you think some people want to restrict what I can say and are so stringent? What else would you like me to do for you?
“How To Get A Rich Man To Be Your Boyfriend Or Husband”
^Relationships based on this premise are destined for failure. Relationships are based on love, friendship, mutual interests, respect, loyalty and being able to put up with your significant other’s shit after the honeymoon period is over. While a stable/successful spouse is a very desirable thing, if one’s relationship is based on money foremost, I’d expect to see the big D in the near future. Sex, money and illusions of some magical life all fade very quickly and all you’re left with is the fundamental person and all their quirks, for better or worse.
Sure, there will always be a fringe of gold digger’s out there, but do any intelligent beings really buy into this crap for a real relationship?
It’s interesting how the subject of money is so “taboo” when it comes to relationships, even though we all know one of the biggest things married couples argue about is money.
I like that this post gets it out of the way. Love and all that other stuff is good and all that for DATING, but for marriage? Money now enters the picture when it didn’t matter so much before. Especially if the woman wants kids. I think a lot of you guys are completely forgetting that fact. Only women can have kids, so if a woman wants to be rich (or at least have enough money to never worry about money again) and have kids (and actually be there for them), what is she meant to do?
Men will never need to worry about this in the same way women will, even if you say you will happily be a stay-at-home dad. Well, fine, but what if the woman wants to be a stay-at-home mum? Then guess what? The MAN needs to go out and earn the money… for women, it’s easier to find a man with money first, then to get a poor man and somehow make him make money.
I personally do not want to have stress in my life because a man isn’t able to make enough money to support me and my future kids. I also do not want to be one of those workaholic women who only see their kids after work. Women want to find rich husbands because of the need for kids.. not because they want a new car or a new Gucci bag.
Interesting points… While it’s true that money is a leading cause of divorces and fights in marriage, it seems like this is somewhat traceable back to dating…
Did the couple ever talk about their ambitions, dreams and future life? Were kids a definite yes, no or maybe?
Some of these answers remain undefined or even unchanged until years into the marriage, at which point their is a difference/change in desire. Then, money can come into play, as well as resent over lack of it.
As far as the question of what can a woman do if she wants to have plenty of money to support her and her kids.. I think I agree to an extent, but to play devil’s advocate:
Couldn’t she become wealthy through her own means? And then adopt children? Or then marry a man who is doing well, but isn’t rich?
It seems strange/interesting that the burden is on THE MAN to make the money for what THE WOMAN wants WITHOUT apparently consulting with him to see if that’s what he wants as well…
Like, “go make serious money so we can live how I want to live, and make it snappy!”
Seems like the process of you getting wealthy doesn’t appeal to you because it will take too much time (don’t want to be a workaholic mom who has no time to see her kids, totally agree, but); you want to only consider a man who has gone through this process and been successful, and then he is only useful for helping fulfill the life YOU want? I may be missing something, but that seems a little unreasonable….
And for the last part about “only wanting money to support kids”… I wish I could agree, but based on experience (sure, you can dismiss it as anecdotal, but I’ve talked to hundreds if not thousands of girls, and get similar answers from them all, so I think there’s something to it…), girls want all the nice pretty things MORE than they want kids.
In fact, a majority (75%+) of these women I’ve talked to, who want a man with lots of money tell me they DON’T WANT kids, which turns this theory (about women only caring about money for it’s value on raising kids) on its head, IMO.
I’m not saying women can’t like the new cars, name brand accessories and all that (which I should note that I would love to give her), but that is, in my experience, the Primary reason, not secondary reason they’re seeking someone with money.
I think you’re portraying women in a little too glorious of a light, that they only want money for it’s utilitarian value of raising kids and supporting themselves, when, as much or more more than anything, they want all the nice things too….
Well, the reason it seems like the burden is on the MAN to make money is because, last I checked, most men are not very interested at looking after kids. Especially in Asian countries, most of the men do not want to bother with kids at all and dump it all on the woman.
Obviously, I’m not saying all men are this way, but I think for the most part, unless a man is born with more nurturing qualities and prefer to change diapers, cook and clean as a full time job, I’d bet guys generally don’t know much about that stuff (or would to do it to the standard a woman would prefer) and therefore prefers the woman to do most of that “stuff”.
Sure, in an ideal world, a woman should be able to make her fortune and also have enough time to date, get married and have kids. Unfortunately, the problem is time. Getting rich takes a lot of time and it’s a myth that once you make enough money, you can just sit back and relax (actually the opposite). But with that said, this is not impossible but I do think it’s “harder” for a woman to become financially rich and THEN have kids (like when she’s 35-40) then the other way around. Mainly because by the time you become “rich”, you’re used to that lifestyle. To switch roles and suddenly be a stay at home mum and not worry about money anymore.. well does that happen when your source of income is solely on you?
You’re right I may be portraying women too gloriously, but I suspect the kind of women you’re talk to are young (early 20s). Of course young women fantasize about having money and spending it more than having kids. But despite what these women say, thoughts of kids will come up eventually.. either as a way to “secure” the man or their priorities will change; believe it or not, women will get bored and if a rich man can’t offer love and attention as readily as a poor man will, kids will do the job!
So thats not the bargain you want. Fine. But thats the whole point. The women in question are not looking for you. What makes you think a financially well off person would not want a younger spouse and kids? Some certainly do. So its back to what you said; good communication, and knowing what you want. In this case, a wealthy guy who wants to be the breadwinner and provider. There is nothing wrong with that, just like there is nothing wrong with a woman that wants to have kids. Not adopt kids when she is too old to properly take care of them, but to have her own biological children when she is young enough to enjoy them.
@Katie
Good response, some interesting points to address, which I’ll try to do in the order they were made:
As far as men not being very interested in looking after kids, I will admit that I’m likely an outlier here, but I love kids, and that’s the majority of the reason I want to get married at all (yes, adoption could “satisfy” that requirement, but I really want my own kids).
But to your point about the “burden” being on the man b/c men typically aren’t interested in kids… I understand the thought here, but I think my initial comment still applies (emphasis added by me):
“It seems strange that the burden is on the man to make the money for what THE WOMAN wants WITHOUT apparently consulting with him to see IF THAT’S WHAT HE WANTS as well… (if that’s in fact not what he wants…)
Like, “go make serious money so we can live HOW I WANT TO LIVE, and make it snappy!”
I understand what you’re saying about some (most?) men not usually being naturally inclined to some of the tasks that a woman typically takes on. Agreed. Thus, it would be easier to marry someone with money and jumpstart the “kids” process a lot sooner. Sure.
BUT – you could either be assuming this or not considering it, I don’t know which- : Are these plans of yours that the rich man is helping to materialize sooner ALSO goals/hopes HE shares WITH you?
Kids, more specifically? Or are he and his finances just the means to a quicker end (kids)? You’re still with him, but just not sharing the same plans/goals(?), and he has to accept that if he has you, he will have to have kids? Or is this only if he does an inadequate job of loving you?
It’s not a myth that you can sit back once you’re rich. It doesn’t become reality for many entrepreneurs, as we tend to be unable to keep our hands idle within months of being “free” from a business, but in reality, if he’s “rich,” he’s in control of his time, with no need to monetize his time.
He would likely explore investments in order to keep a steady interest income, but “rich” in a true sense is wealth that means you could live the rest of your life without working another day.
This, again, is an oxymoron for entrepreneurs, who never stop wanting to solve problems, which adds value, creates more money, and the cycle repeats, but at the end of the day, it’s about what he’s satisfied with living on (with you) and how active he still wants to be.
So it’s not a myth. Just not usually a personality trait of someone successful. And if he’s “rich” but always working, he only has a high paying job.
To be rich, you have to control the most coveted (and most squandered) asset in the world. Time. Working 70-80+ hours/week for 250k+ a year is far from rich, after time spent, taxes, expenses, etc.
You’re correct with your last statement, a majority of the women (girls at that age?) I talk with are under, say, 26. 20-25 mostly. I will probably notice that change when it starts taking place, which is COOL!!! Something else to look forward to.
I for one really appreciate the guts and honesty Sam has for writing about such topics. Being able to go out on a limb on a topic where so many women and men think about but are too afraid to address provides huge credibility in my mind. It also shows Sam isn’t just writing posts so he can make money only.
You are a reader with no blog, who doesn’t write, and who gets to consume content for free. Here you are complaining about credibility? Give me a break.
“Guts and honesty” Really? For an article about Gold Digger’s? I work with a few thousand brave young men and women who deploy to the desert every day, that takes guts.
“Credibility” Really? For writing about doomed fringe relationships?
“isn’t writing posts so he can make money only” Hmmmm, think about that one again, this blog and its affiliations are all about making money, and that’s ok.
True, I have no blog and am a consumer of PF blogs only, a point not lost on me and that I freely give to Sam (backup a couple posts and read my comments), however, I call bullshit when I see it Janey. Though I disagree with Sam on occasion, I make an effort to give him a hat tip as well for the massive effort he puts into his posts-this isn’t lost on me.
As far as credibility goes, I’ve been married to my lady for 6 years, worked for the same employer for 15 years and am 5 years away from FI. I even show my ugly mug on postings. What else you looking for?
Thanks for giving me the green light to go ahead and write a lot of affiliate posts Chris! If you think that’s my main goal, then I might as well go forward. I really do appreciate it.
I must admit, out of all your posts these relationship type articles are the weirdest to read. Seems that most have a bit of a gold-digger slant to them.
Whenever you see a big guy and a skinny pretty young girl people presume he has money. Do you think a guys that finds the exceptional woman the first time, if he gets divorced looks for a dumber one?
Hmmm… why would a guy get a divorce from the exceptional woman the first time?
I often see that the matching of rich men and women looking for money (and indeed vice-versa) primarily for the reasons of money is one of the worst possible matches for a relationship.
However, I’m sure it works for some…
Let me tell you a story…
When my sister and I were young and my parents took us somewhere by car, my sister would see all the cars on the road and ask, “Can we get a red convertible?”
My mother would answer, “When you grow up, you can marry a rich man and have anything you want.”
In other words, women perpetuate this type of thought from an early age?
My father told me this. I’ve dated rich men. I enjoy real men. Men who are comfortable with themselves. Money doesn’t make the man. Money doesn’t solve everything.
Choosing a partner that can provide a secure future is all just part of the natural selection process…but, if you are singling out rich dudes or sugar mamas you are destined for eventual misery. Wealthy means having enough family, friends and cash to be satisfied and live a rewarding life…