Do you still live at home with mom & dad as an adult? Supposedly, almost 50% of those under 29 years old do. It seems like many more men are living at home thanks to the pandemic. This is a fun post about how to get girls if you still live at home with your parents.
Some surveys estimate that roughly 80% of newly grads move back home. Is it really that common? Have I lost touch with reality, yet again?
After four years of college, where there are just ridiculous amounts of parties and unspoken amounts of fun, who on earth goes home and lives back with mom and dad?
Even if I was unemployed, I'd pay several hundred bucks and rent the sofa in my buddy's living room or something. Is there no feeling of guilt living at home with parents as a grown adult? Perhaps not. Right on my street, live three 26-27 year old young bucks with grandma.
Come on, how can these guys live with themselves living with grandma? So I got to thinking, perhaps it is feasible to live at home with mom and dad, or grandma and still get girls!
More adult children are using the Bank Of Mom & Dad to buy them a car and a house. So I guess the trend is real.
Strategies For Getting Girls While Living With Mom & Dad
1) Declare That You Own The Place. That's right, say it with me now, “I own this joint, babay!” It's likely that your parents have a much nicer house than you could ever afford on your own. Tell the girl YOU bought the place, and mention you are taking care of your parents in their advanced age. A grandma is even better. Girls will go crazy for your sensitivity. Schwing!
2) Good Old Home Cooking. Askyour mom or dad to make your favorite meatloaf when you invite your girly friend over. Since you can't find a place to live on your own, it's doubtful that you can cook for yourself either. Make sure your parents cook the meatloaf right, or else send it back! Say, “Momma, I want this meatloaf medium rare gosh diggidy! Try again and bring me some side of peas!” Girls say a way to a man's heart is through his stomach. The reality is, the way to a woman's heart is also through her stomach, so feed her well.
3) Free Laundry Baby. When your girl stays over while you're sporting your favorite Star Trek PJs, tell her to not worry about her laundry. You're going to ask your mom to hook you guys up with some fresh undies. In fact, ask her to bring her entire two weeks worth of laundry for your parents to wash. You can talk about all the eco-friendly detergent that “you” bought and how you no longer use static cling products because they pollute the drinking water for baby pandas. You will get extra brownie points for your thoughtfulness for sure!
4) Frugal Is Sexy. When you finally reveal to the girl you're living with mom and dad – don't kid yourself as the truth will ultimately come out – just tell her that it's only temporary. Rationalize to her how it's wasteful to not utilize the 3rd and 4th bedrooms, or your mom's basement. If she ain't buying it, start sniffling, and then start balling your eyes out that all you want to do is be at home to take care of your father given his bladder problems.
Tell her it's hard for you to share your soft side because society puts so much pressure on men to be the provider. She will absolutely melt in your arms and likely start crying with you! In the meantime, you are busy building a blogging empire, putting on a few pounds while you're at it, and forsaking sunshine in your mom's basement.
Tell her you're also busy saving money so you can buy a fat pad of your own. Bloggers are sexy beings. Trust me, I am one.
5) Invite Her To Stay With You. She might still think you are a loser for living at home (in which case you should kick her to your parent's curb), but don't fret. Just declare your love for her and invite her to live at home with your parents as well. If you're going to take advantage of your parents in your 20s, you might as well invite your friends and prospective lovers to share in the spoils as well.
It could be one big love shack of intermittent shouts of “Where's my food already?“, “Turn up the heat it's freezing mama!” and “Quiet down, the game is on!” If your girl does say yes, always try and ask for the top bunk bed, unless you're too old and have knee problems like me.
6) Tell Her You're An Investor. With a raging bull market going on in stocks, cryptocurrencies, and so many other asset classes, just tell her you're an investor. Not only are you a successful investor, you are also a frugal investor. Here's how I'd invest $100,000 today if you're curious. Here's also how I'd invest $250,000 in a bear market.
7) Tell Her You Just Love Your Parents. Women love men who love their parents. It's logical because it increases the chances the man will love the woman as well. If a man can show filial piety by living with their parents and taking care of them, you will become incredible attractive to women.
Getting Girls While Living At Home Is Possible
Maybe mooching off mom and dad isn't so bad after all. Free rent, free laundry, free food, free mansion. Even if you have a lot of pride and want to demonstrate that the four years of college was for something, it's just too difficult to pass up sometimes.
Seriously, how else do you plan to come up with a 20% downpayment on a home living on your own? Hence, I say go for it. Live in your mom's basement. Save aggressively for a brighter future.
You can still get girls using the above tips, and save a ton of money while you're at it. In fact, you may even be doing your parents a favor because they missed you so much while you were away!
As a father to a son now, I'd love for him to stay with us after college. It'll be fun to reconnect. It'll also be nice if he could save money on rent so he can buy his own home one day.
But I'm assuming he'll want to continue living independently again. We shall see!
Related posts about relationships:
How To Get BOYS If You Live At Home With Mom & Dad
A Massive Generational Wealth Transfer Is Why Everything Will Be OK!
How To Convince Your Parents To Buy You Everything As An Adult Child
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164 thoughts on “How To Get Girls If You Live At Home With Mom & Dad”
Well mines kinda different! I did move to my mom but im 50 and i did do it for her health issues. I moved from the SF bay area to canada after my mom fell and broke her hip because she lives alone and really needed the help but im having a really hard time trying to get the nerve up to ask a women out due to mymown fears of what she might think.
I get plenty of hot women at 35 living at home.It is simple you just need to know how to use ur p@#i$.I was a bot embarrassed yes when one parked in the yard.I said don’t park there she said tell your roommates .And I said roommates it is My parents house.I have an entire finished basement with shower down here but I have lived on my own 2 times.I do not have them do my laundry or cook me food that is a bit much.Reason is now my nephew is my best friend he is 4 and he lives like 10 houses up . I just need to move close to him.I cannot really afford rent making 11 an hour being a felon sucks kids stay out of trouble it haunts you the rest of ur damn life.
When I met my boyfriend he was 28 and lived with his parents. His mommy did his laundry, he didn’t have to cook or buy food. Six months later he moved out and bought a house for us to live in. Frugal is, indeed, sexy. A lot of the smart ones live at home. It also showed me that he had a good relationship with his family.
Great to hear! In other words, a boy living at home with his parents needs to convince the girl that he is actually doing all of this for her. Smart!
This article seems to underhandedly mock those grown men who live with their parents. I live with my parents and it’s a decision I made carefully. I don’t have to pay rent, mortgage interest, bills, or anything, and 100% of my income is invested, and I live off dividends, so I think it’s a good move, but society (including many women) seem to put me down for it, which makes me angry that sometimes I almost want to explode. I understand how many people give to the social pressure and simply conform, but I just feel like I cannot do this. I cannot give in and conform. How cowardly is that? Anyway, I’m having trouble getting into intimate relationships with women, so I resort to using meetup.com to get companionship with girls (have dinner with them, etc) and when I’m feeling quite horny I just go to a registered brothel where there is a girl there who I always see. By seeking out companionship from one source and sexual intercourse from another source, I’ve allowed for more specialization and therefore I am able to procure these services more efficiently, and I’ve created what I call a “synthetic girlfriend experience.” But whenever I talk about this to my friends, they mock me no matter how much I explain the underlying microeconomic theory. I feel so angry and I don’t know what to do, and reading this article only inflames my anger even more.
It depends on how old you are, and whether you have difficulties (financial or otherwise), or your parents need assistance. If you are under 25, you’re struggling, and your parents need your help, then by all means stay with them.
If you are over 25, had several years to work and save, don’t pay them any rent, bills, or anything, as you say, then ask yourself why not help them and launch your life?
I know a guy who retired early b/c his wife works. Are you saying I now know a guy who lives off his dividends because he lives at home with his parents? People will mock if there are situations that don’t seem fully what they are.
The good thing is that there will be a massive generational wealth transfer! And Australians have it particularly good b/c they have the largest inheritances coming.
How old are you and what is your situation?
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Property prices are pretty rough….I dont think most people can afford homes in todays economy given the amount of money people make and how high housing prices happen to be. We are talking indentured servant for life if you go out and take a mortgage.
This post is hilarious! This topic is also something I thought about for my friends who live with their parents, like I do. I, however, was lucky enough to find the love of my life in high school. She still lives with her parents as well (when she’s not out of state for school). So given this history, the dynamic’s not weird for us, and consequently, we each get along with the others’ families very well.
However, I worry for my single friends who live at home and work full time jobs. It’s a triple whammy because they not only live with their parents, but they don’t get much time to meet new people since they work, and they’re extremely shy! Needless to say, they don’t go out very often during off-work hours other than to hang out amongst themselves and play basketball, usually with other guys. But on the off chance they do meet a new girl, the chances that the girl would accept their living situation are low too! …at least until this post!
Say, Financial Samurai, where are the best places you know of to meet new decent women in SF? Bars are always the first suggestions, but there’s gotta be better alternatives. Cafes and libraries may work but you don’t really want to bother people who are reading or working. No one told us that after college, meeting people would be so hard!
Ah… here is a post for your question!
The Best Places To Meet The Right Women
I can’t stop laughing. This is the funniest article I have read in a while. It’s absolutely hilarious from start to finish. Loved it =D
Glad you enjoyed it! How did you find it? I’m always curious to know. Thx
I remember in highschool all my friends were starting to get part time jobs but my parents never let me start working, their excuse was, well you’re going to be working your whole life, what’s the rush. I couldn’t work while I was in college because I was so swamped with classes. I moved to another city for university, although my parents had to help pay for everything. After I graduated from the university I hated the idea of moving back home but I didn’t have a choice. My parents didn’t let me try to get a job near the campus once i had graduated and see if i could make it on my own, they said no matter what you have to come back home, and I was about 23 when I graduated. 3 years later and I am still living with my parents, and nothing has changed. when I mention that I’m ready to move out, first they say NO then they laugh and say i will waste all my money renting a filthy place and i will lose my soul to debt but that if i want to be a failure i am free to leave. Not the most inspirational words. My friends are all in grad school and getting married. I feel on some level I got screwed over. Anyway, really enjoyed this article just thought i’d put in my two cents.
I am currently 23. My parents divorced when I was 22. I was actually planning on getting my own place after a while until the divorce happen. I had 2 options. Get a place with my dad and pay half the rent. Or move in with some stranger and try to get to know them. I chose my dad. By getting a place with my dad it allowed him to be able to have my little sister over to stay the nights and spend time with him. Where as if I didn’t, he would have to get a roommate with some stranger just so he could still live while making alimony payments, which is almost 1/3 of his income. If he got a place with some random dude, then his daughter probably wouldn’t be allowed over to the house due to other dude living there. My dad also probably would only be able to see my little sister a few hrs a week.
My dad often thanks me and tells me he wouldn’t have this current life style if it wasn’t for me renting with him. Being able to have my little sister live with us every other week.
I haven’t been too concerned about being able to meet girls. The fact of possibly meeting one, and marry that one in the future, and maybe getting divorced down the road when things get to hard. And possibly ending up like my dad with my little sister and the alimony, kinda scares me of ever starting a relationship.
I think it’s not a bad move, you get to know your dad better for the next few years and save some rent. Dads tend to be more relaxed about friends and girls coming over don’t they? So as long as you have your privacy you should be fine. Get out around 26 though and try and travel. Just my thoughts.
I sincerely hope that this article has been written as a satire. If young adults are living with Mom and Dad the idea is for them to get on their feet financially so they can MOVE out.
You are giving the young people out there bad ideas…by the time I was 26 I had been out of my parents’ home for five years, and lived in a foreign country besides. I think it is wrong to encourage mooching off Mom and Dad.
Personally, if I were the age of my offspring, I would NOT date a guy living in the basement.
Correct. It is satire but also addresses an important issue young adults have living at home with their parents.
How did you find this article in the first place curious to know!
“by the time I was 26 I had been out of my parents’ home for five year, and lived in a foreign country besides”
Well Katley most successful people I know live with their parents at 26 and beyond:
Modernly, it takes the average college student 4 1/2 years for a bachelors and 5 1/2 for engineering. My family lives on the Main Line in Pennsylvania and at 18 I started undergrad at Bryn Mawr and graduated at 24; I graduated with a BS in ChemE with a 3.896 GPA making all A’s with only one B. I had also studied for 9 months for the LSAT.
I graduated from undergrad with $140k in debt and only maintained such a low debt load because I lived at home and worked part time all through college as well as doing work-study.
I was not accepted to a single top 14 (T14) law school because my LSAT was not high enough, so I moved across the country and went to Cal Poly where I received free tuition and dorm working on a masters in Chemical Engineering while I worked as an undergrad TA — I used this time to study for the LSAT. I took out less than $20k for my MS — but was now $160k in debt.
I still was not able to crack the elusive T14, but I moved back in with my parents and attended Penn Law and because of my 1L GPA–I was finally able to transfer to gain admission to a T14 (NYU Law) at the end of my 1L year. If you don’t know anything about law–graduating from a T14 is pretty much required to get an associate offer in Big Law. Because of my GPA at NYU I was offered a summer associate position at a Big Law firm during the summer of both my 2L and 3L year. I was offered a job during OCI and was offered a job in Big Law before I graduated (provided that I pass NY Bar and Patent Bar.)
I got my JD at 30 and had passed both the bar and patent bar easily (with patent thanks to my M.S.CEP) by the age of 31. I moved back in with my parents, while working as an associate in Big Law, but Big Law only pays $120k a year–by now I was at $260k in non-dischargeable student loan debt.
So let me ask you this Katley–what would you do if you only made $120k a year, had a contract with big law to bill 2450 hours a year where rent in the city would be $2200 for a 5th floor walkup (how fun leaving for work at 5:30am and returning home at 11:30 pm 6 days a week and walking up 4 flights of stairs) I would have to cough up an extra $600 or so if I wanted a space big enough for both a desk and a bed. Or an extra $1000 if I wanted an elevator.
Or I could go back and live with my parents like most associates that work big law/ finance.
Why would I be worried about where to bring girls home? What girls? Girls from law school (who understand) or girls in banking? They all understand. Everyone lives at home. Maybe not in flyover country–but my friends working in Big Law over in LA are the same way. Most of the ones working in Oil Big Law (Houston) got canned–but most of the people who went into Oil & Gas and took an Oil Big Law job. . . did so because they had free rent in Houston.
Katly at 26 there is no way that you: 1) have life all figured out 2) have a good career 3) are not living off of family money, and 4) live in a real city (LA or NYC.)
I imagine that you can scrape by, live in flyover country, and work in some crap sub $100k a year job. But isn’t the point of this site trying to make something of yourself?
I am on track to make junior partner in 8 years. When I receive my first $1mil partner bonus–that is when I will leave home. Once I am partner, I will only have to work 60 or so hours a week and should have a few hundred thousand saved up–and be debt free.
If I can hit senior partner by the time I am 50–I should be making $3mil to $4mil annually. It is not much compared to some finance guys, but lawyers never retire and I will make at least $1mil for life as a stock holding partner–even after I no longer go to the office. By then I should have an apartment overlooking Central Park, a summer place in Cape Cod, and a winter condo down in Boca Raton.
So Katley–what is your life goal? What is your retirement plan? Are you going to get there by continuing your path? Real wealth doesn’t come from scrimping and saving/ clipping coupons/ bringing your lunch to work/ not buying a Rolex/ or not spending so much at Starbucks.
Real wealth involves building yourself up to where you have skills that pay better than 99.9999% of other people.
ahh I know this is an old post (correction, see his is this year) but I’m going to Have to dive into this one.
That all sounds very impressive Pierson, no really, it also makes you sound like a complete douche.
$140k in debit? wtf? I’m not in the US of A, but a quick search says the average is $30k?
Fly over states? Real? Everywhere else is just imaginary is it? I love NY and LA, to visit, but you’re actually saying there’s nothing worth seeing in between. Really? wow. Have you taken a road trip? Like, ever.
On track to make junior partner in 8 years? ah huh. Good luck.
It sounds like; you have planned your entire life out, are only concerned about money against and above all else, and only live to work. Have you had a day of fun in your life? When are you going to start? Because it sounds like you’ve pencilled it in for age 50.
Anyone who plans that much (narrowly) isn’t going to be prepared for the side swipe in life that’s coming. And it will hit hard. Even if it doesn’t your life sounds, well kinda boring. Do you actually enjoy law?
So you only study, live at home (not that I care), and it sounds like you don’t have much real world life experience.
I GUARANTEE you Katley up there has more life experience, can cope better in diverse situations, and can stand on her own two feet. ANYONE who can leave at 21 and travel and live in foreign countries knows WAY more.
You are actually going to wait until you earn one mil before you leave home? wow. I mean it’s actually ironic that you talk about life experiences.
It sounds like you have an extremely coddled life in a very narrow playing field, and you’re actually planning to continue that in your retirement so that you don’t let any of it touch you. It being Life.
Yeah everyone likes getting rich, but the real wealth is experience, get out there open your eyes and see some of it. Leave behind that attitude before you go though.
Very interesting post and comments. I live in the UK, currently a university student sharing a flat (apartment). Will move back home when I start work in London (hopefully will get the job).
Why the move home? Anyone seen rent prices in London + council tax + utilities + transport on the underground? and food (much more affordable of course). So an average person sharing rent in say a 2/3/4 bed flat or house in outskirts of greater london would spend nearly £1200.00 per month on the above. That means you need to take home £14 400 annually after tax. The average house price in london is now greater than £500k…a 1 bed flat in outskirts of london costs approx £250k – given that the average salary in london is approx £23, 520 – how long would it take to save for a 10-25% deposit on a 1 bed flat if you are renting? Would you really want to buy a 1 bed flat after saving for X number of years? Anyone realize how quickly house prices rise in London? The current youth (our generation) are becoming known as the rental generation…and rent prices just keep on rising (funny that).
Anyway the main reason to move home is to save enough for a depost on a flat and have good savings because of job uncertainty etc…I would definitely move out by 30 (seems ridiculous i know to even live at home for 5-6 years)…how to get chicks? its gonna be tough…where would i take them at the end of the date? rent a hotel room? silly perhaps…dont know. Guess I will have to figure it out – one thing I do know is that I will not compromise my career establishment and financial outlook becuase I wanna take chicks home (as much as I really do)…
PS, I like your site financial samurai.
It is ironic that b/c of high property prices that rental demand is surging, leading to ever higher property prices since property is based off income. You may enjoy this post I recently wrote: https://untemplater.com/personal-finance/why-do-rents-keep-on-going-up/
Welcome to my site!
get your own place or hideout away from the wife and family for the mistresses as well ;) that’s how true pimps do! life doesn’t stop once your married fools!
I hope you get hit and mulched by a bus
Haha, luckily we have a mostly private section of the house…but yes, that is a constant worry of mine. I will say that going away for a weekend is way more special now. We’ve offered to pay them back one way or another but they won’t have it, they just want us to be in a good position in life. For what it’s worth, I do help out around the house whenever possible and we buy our own food.
I’m torn on the market right now – part of me wants to go in very aggressive, offer well over asking and get in front on any more rise in prices (and rates). Another part of me doesn’t believe that the current market is sustainable over the long term (I’m talking specifically in the city where prices never really went down, even throughout the housing crisis). Condos that sold in 2010 for 295k are back on the market for 350k? How can people justify a 20% increase in price over three years? Low interest rates entice more buyers, but I just don’t think that’s enough. And people are still bidding 10-20% over asking? Eventually, people (maybe even us) will say screw it and buy a house outside of the city.
My wife and I moved in with her parents about 18 months ago to save for our own place (we were engaged when we moved in). We figured that if we could suck it up for a year or two that we would be in a better place because of it. We now have about 100k cash (after wedding/honeymoon costs) for a down payment and are now aggressively looking for a condo in the city. If we hadn’t temporarily put our pride aside and instead decided to keep renting in the city, it would have been extremely difficult to save up for the down payment.
Quick side note, I wouldn’t even consider buying/living in the city if we both didn’t work there. Our goal though is to live in our condo for 3-5 years while saving for our next place. We hope to keep our first condo as a rental property and bring in the $2,400+ a month that a two bedroom in Boston can fetch now and not have to sell it to fund our house in the burbs.
P.S. Investors coming in with cash offers are my worst enemies right now.
Steve, that is commendable and brave of you to move in to your in-laws after marriage! Were you not afraid of your father-in-law barging in on you two during private time? Do you have any thoughts on repaying your in-laws for 18 months of free rent?
You are right about cash offers and investors. There are A TON of buyers now, and it’s only going to get worse as the herd scrambles to buy before everybody else wants to buy.
Haha, luckily we have our own, mostly private area…but yes, that might be the toughest part of the last 18 months. I will say that when we go away for a weekend it makes it that much more enjoyable. We’ve offered to pay them back one way or another but they just want us to be in a good place financially. The father especially is pretty smart financially and was happy when we stopped paying rent. For what it’s worth, I help out around the house whenever possible and we buy our own food.
I’m torn right now – part of me wants to go aggressive and offer well above asking to get in front of increasing prices. The other part of me doesn’t think that the current condo price trend jumping up is sustainable right now. We’re seeing places that sold 3 years ago come back on the market for 20-30% above the sale price in 2010 – on top of that, people are still offering 10-20% over asking!
My main issue with this is that condo prices in Boston (like some other cities) didn’t really go down with the rest of the market, so the fact that they are skyrocketing now is crazy to me…eventually people (maybe even us) will say screw it and find our house in the suburbs. It’s rediculous to see what $400k will get you in the city compared to a town that is just a 20 minute drive.
I think Generation Y is more communal than it’s predecessors. They naturally gravitate towards the group. I don’t think there is as much social stigma now, about anything really. This is the generation that has to clean up the mess. So, um, it’s a mess. Humans are social creatures. Living alone isn’t always so great, especially if you’re spending all your money on rent. And there’s more of an egalitarianism in families now. Long live the tribe, I guess.
Good attitude Chantal. If there is less of a stigma, that is great. We’ve been through some rough, ROUGH times in the economy over the past 15 years.
I moved back in with the parents after leaving at 17 I am now 28. I have been to college, worked up and down the east coast, and started several successful businesses. I have a bad car wreck and could not work or do all the things necessary to survive alone such as cook and clean and drive.
So I can honestly say I have had the most numerically and most meaningful women in my life since being “down on my luck.” Where you live and what you do almost has no effect on how many girls you get. I think the average is 5 partners in a lifetime? I stopped counting at 30 women years ago.
Saying a man has to be successful at everything all the time to deserve a woman is bull. Thats like saying I will only go out with gorgeous models who hit the gym 7 days a week, have a high paying job, are debt free, a genius, perfect sized body parts, bling, brand new car, her own house, she can cook, loves to clean, and is a sex beast in bed……
Most successful men continually accomplish things and fail well into mid life before ever become a resounding success.
Do what you have to do to make ends meet and have a plan to go somewhere and no one can fault you on that…all this talk about never thinking of going home and asking for help is far more telling of a person’s plain old stubbornness and pride. Of course it doesn’t hurt if your parents are wealthy and having you home is not a financial concern in the least…
So suck it up…if you are not pulling chicks its because you have a dull personality. Living alone, broke, hungry, and desperate…all be it INDEPENDENT…is just so sexy compared to frugal living with goal that can actually be attained in a year or two rather than struggling for decades for the same..
Long post…but…if you are renting just to stay away from home..foolish..save a year maybe two of rent and get a first time home buyer low or no down payment loan and own something. Or rent and be broke for the rest of your life and enjoy the quiet loneliness of pure independence. You can think of this while you struggle to choke down a meal for one in front of your 26″ tv you bought all by yourself…I will stick with the 60″ my dad bought lol while eating meat and potatoes till my body cannot synthesize any more lean muscle.
I’m a 22 year old living out of my mom’s basement (literally). I just graduated UCSB w/ a 3.5 and good internships. I had options for stable jobs out of college but decided to take another route.
I’ve been working, and working; and am looking to take a risk and move to Chile in a couple of months to launch my startup.
I know you’ve mentioned multiple times here that you don’t mean disrespect, and you don’t necessarily see it as a bad idea. But I have been trying to work professionally around the clock while hearing my parents fight every night, the past few nights they have been bringing up divorce. Few things in my life have been harder…anything BUT EASY, and for that…. I wish I could get a girl. I’m so lonely.
My (ex)girlfriend and I live with my mom right now. She was finishing up her degree while I worked and saved for a house. I only paid $400/mo in rent which covered all bills in the house (my mom doesn’t have a mortgage payment) so it works out nicely. It also allows me to save nearly 40% of my income for a down payment versus paying $850+. I’m only 22 and my budget tells me I’ll be out by November of 2013 :). I feel pretty embarrassed though when I think about having to tell people where I live.
Side Note…I just Googled “Embarrassed” to make sure I spelled it correctly and the definition is:
1.Feeling or showing embarrassment.
2.Having or showing financial difficulties.
Thought number 2 was interesting.
I live with the BF and his parents but we have our little shack in the backyard, so we’re sorta separated from them and we rarely see them since we both work full-time. It’s not so bad and we have been doing it for 2 years, but we have been together for almost 7 years now. If we just started dating, I think it would be really unappealing, but we went through this process together and we came to the decision together that this is what we have to do to achieve our goals. It’s not forever, it’s temporary, and I think the parents play a huge part depending on your personalities/their personalities.
Didn’t realize you live with the BF at his parents house!
Was it weird after graduation from living a lone and all?
Do you plan to live at home with your parents when you come to the Bay Area? When do you think it’s the right time to launch on your own?
Thanks for the perspective!
I think some girls from some (developing) countries might even consider marrying you even if you were living at home with dad and mom. :O)
But you were not talking about non-American girls, were you?
I can’t imagine any smart girl considering a grown man living with his parents. Sometimes, circumstances force someone to do so, but — too often — dependency becomes a life long habit.
Hahahaha so interesting,pls make this an ebook it will sell
Anyone who is seriously bothered by someone else living at home is just upset that their own mother doesn’t love them enough to do their laundry for them anymore.
Chances are, if your parents wanted you out when you turned 18, they’ve been thinking about the day for the last 18 years. Accidents do happen I guess….
Hahaha, nice. Hear that women! Stopping hating on us dudes that live at home with mama!
I’m 31 yr old female and I live with my mom. Unless I get married, I’m never moving out. Like the article states, you get every thing for free. I work and help with the bills sometimes, but that’s all. I’m not allowed to bring guys over, though! My mom doesn’t think that’s appropriate.
I guess it all depends on your urges. Besides you can always go to your BF’s house if you want some action!
If you can get a long great with your parents, more power to you!
Wow, I’ve only personally known 1 good girl who lives with her parents.
She is total wife material but can’t find a date. Don’t let this happen to you. Let someone who knows what a gem you are have an opportunity.
This woman hasn’t figured out her fantasy man won’t come sweep her off her feet. She’s 39. I’m disqualified in her mind because I’m a single dad, though I possess the qualities she is seeking.
You’ll know if a man has good character by observing his actions towards the people in his life when the chips are down, when things are tough. Does he stand by them or take care of #1. There is no other way to know. Often the situation that reveals their true qualities isn’t idealistic.
this is heck of a style to impart important advise, like it!
Bum is me. Never moved out.
I’ve paid more than $27,000 of my own money for the “privilege” of living at home.
Your parents are tough landlords! Ask them for a discount!
It’s actually really difficult to move out in these economic times (worst since the great depression.) Even though I have a steady decent paying job at 24; I still prefer to live at home until I have enough saved up that I can lose my job and not be forced to move back in (allocating several months of looking for a job which is common place now.) If i’m gone i’m gone for good I don’t want to take that disgraceful walk of shame back in; which i think in a lot of people’s cases is why they want to save up more money before commiting to moving out.
With unemployments latest rate at 9.1% can you really blame people for being forced into a situation that is less than desired? Not only that with inflation as high as is and educational degrees worth less and less this isn’t as easy as you think :).
P.S. My friends who also live at home and I still manage to get the girls the ones around our age know how hard it is so you can always play that pity card.
I donno Phil. If I had a job like you and was 24, I would be having the time of my life and living it up!
Maybe the girls your friends are getting are also living at home with the parents? If that’s the case, that’s cool, and it’s just like high school again.
I moved out went to college 4 yrs, military 2 yrs, married 6 yrs, back home 3 yrs, moved out of state 3 yrs, back home 9 yrs, then married again and moved out. After 16 yrs it was time for them to move in with my family. When I lived with them we split the bills and I was at the house to house sit while they traveled extensively. It was practical use of resources and my parents were practical if nothing else. I was always fully employed during the entire time except for a few months during my first marriage. It was never about not having money but more about not spending what we didn’t have to.
This article strangely make much sense.
That’s how all the generations before WWII lived, all over the planet. Even the rich lived on the same estate unless there was a reason to leave. The poor had to live together.
I think the problem is that Americans have lost that sense of community were people lived together just like they have lost a sense of family life, and a sense of financial success. So really I am 24 and I live with my parents because I am going to school full time, and unfortunately i am paying 14,000$ a semester so really i mean if i could get a job get straight A’s in my classes pay for an apartment in San Francisco, and somehow be able to just get the bare minimum is groceries. personally I would have to make 31$ an hour just to be able to afford a room in San Francisco while sharing a bathroom with 5 other people (1 bathroom to 5 people)(“3″girls ‘2’ dudes). Now if inflation would get lower and businesses would actually pay there people enough to live on like raising the federal minimum wage maybe people will start living outside like i guess AMERICANS are supposed to do. Because as an American I feel like when i get older i am supposed to leave my parents in a convalescent home while having my own children. I am supposed to get rich as a CEO put my money is some off short bank account and rip off the rest of the public and right before my money falls or my stocks shorten I cash out move to another country and do this process all over again while my parents die in the hand of shitty care of some young woman who does not want to do her job. Americans are fucking stupid with there way of thinking; children need to get out of the house; but no jobs are provided really to do so. Also I would gladly work a minimum wage job if I could pay my bills groceries and pay for gas insurance, 14,000 $ tuition which will go up and 5,000$ of supplies every 2 years. I might not have moved out, but I care about my family and now a days it takes a village I just cant wait to see the stupid Fucking Americans get reduced back to the depression periods when people cherished the light being on for 3 hours a day. Consumerism=death. Also I am an American and even i am flabbergasted by the fuck ups that keep happening in this county. I mean it could be worse I could be a Russian right now pumping krokodill in my arm, or I could be a homeless Greek living on the streets trying to find another hit of sisa. So in reality I don’t care that i live with my parents I contribute they treat me like an adult as I treat them, and personally I don’t know anyone who is living on their own in the United states unless you live in a rural ass area with a damn good job or your selling shit your shouldn’t be selling just to keep your fancy 1 bedroom half kitchen 1 bath apartment for 3600$ a month. Get real assholes who hate on people who live with their parents. Now yes their are some assholes who mooch, but during this time in America when the economy is on the verge of collapse it is almost impossible for people i know who are in there 30’s to actually get there own place. I know people who have masters degrees and cannot find work because they are no longer needed. The world is pretty fucked right now so Id rather have a roof over my head then living in a alley in Oakland while rioting against the machine.
I know exactly how you feel. In fact, I’m living in the nearly the same situation. I studied IT when I was 22, which was right after 9/11 when NO ONE was hiring. Figured maybe I needed more training and certs. Went back to study advanced IT, earned some certs, and companies were STILL not hiring full time. Most IT work now is outsourced or temp work. So fine, 22k in debt, living with my parents, I tried setting up my own computer repair and network solutions business. Tried to undercut Geek Squad as much as possible and found that it’s just not feasible. The cost of replacement parts + my time = the cost of a new Dell. Computers are just too disposable to bother with repairs over $100. Fine. Went back to school to get a bachelor’s in Business Administration. STILL can’t find a living wage job. I had an assistant store manager job at a grocery store, and after a while, the work literally made me want to kill myself every single time I clocked in. Worked 60 hour weeks, many times from 6am to 11pm, verbally abused by customers and corporate, threatened, for 30k a year. Now I’m 50k in debt, 34, living with my parents, no girlfriend, no prospects, and clinically depressed. This is a reality for many people. We can’t hire ourselves and many companies simply do not want to pay living wages. There’s no shame in living with parents. For many people, the alternatives are homelessness or roommates. Not everyone is capable of living with roommates.
As a foreigner who lived in the US until recently, I’ll just say negative to your post. There are a ton of IT jobs in the US. I was swarmed with job openings and still am and the only reason I couldn’t apply to 98% of them was because I was a foreigner. I even managed to have a job despite that. If you’re an American you really have no excuses. Maybe you should try another relocating to improve your chances.
I invalidate your supposed objection. Your opening says “who lived in the US until recently.” which means you went back to your safe haven of a country where living must be way cheaper than here. So please don’t try to delude yourself into thinking this guy hasn’t had it rough. I too as a soon to be IT graduate can attest than no jobs can be found or in the end someone else gets picked in the interview process.
Is the labor market for IT college graduates really that tough? The unemployment rate is under 3% for college graduates. Can you please elaborate further? It is crazy BOOMING here in the San Francisco Bay Area for tech jobs. Just check out Angelist.co.
One of my children lived at home off and on after, and I had no interest in the personal life other than what was shared. In fact, I would have preferred to know and be asked less because I’d done my job and was ready to move on to other things. Once I explained I was through with the mommy role so cut those emotional apron strings, things were great. The husband and I paid next to no attention to who “slept over,” our offspring’s schedule, or anything else. We were living our own lives. Oh, and still, no bathroom sharing. There were two besides the master bath inside our bedroom for others to use.
I’m glad there was no bathroom sharing. How long did your son/daughter stay with you guys for after college? Was it out of choice? Did you want them to stay with you, or did you want them to go?
Well, polite people know how to let those most needy go first. And sorry, but in my home, we had more than one bathroom so there was no waiting.
If the grad and the parents are mature enough, they can coexist without ruining anyone’s love life. Grads, be mature enough to clean up after yourself, pull your own weight, don’t expect mommy to take care of you anymore because she’s ready to let go of that tedious responsibility, and keep your opinions about how your parents handle their marriage and lives to yourself. Parents, be mature enough to accept your child is an adult so stay out of his or her personal business, keep your opinions about his or her romances to yourself (or better yet, don’t form any unless one becomes serious), and don’t offer opinions on their decisions. Treating each other respectfully makes for happy resource sharing.
Share with us your experience living at home with your parents after college. When you had to go to the bathroom, and so did your father, who gets the right of way for example? Thanks!
Hilarious post. You’re quite the comedian. :) Too bad I didn’t read this earlier in life. I always thought parents home and girls don’t mix. Great point about saving a ton of dough because of rent, but extra curricular activities with girls and my parents in the next room, no can do. Our place was kinda small with thin walls. :)
Love this post. Happy New Year!
I’ll check it out Dave. I hope you discuss the love life, cause that is the most important thing + career for guys right out of college!
hahah this is awesome!
i used to do #1 – tell the girl I own the place. it worked just about everytime
now i live in my own home and with my girlfriend so those days are OVER
great post – made me laugh a ton!
Sam, this post was hilarious. I lived with the folks for about six months after college and it was killer. Considering they never leave home, girls were impossible to bring back and living there meant I had to help them with their business all the time.
I’d much rather, and do, live with roommates just for the “social” aspect, and of course not having to check in with the rents. Totally worth the rent money.
That’s what I was thinking! You had a couple roommates in Hawaii and had to share and stuff on $1,000 a month… why can’t others? You make more than $1,000 a month working at McDonald’s!
Hope Wisconsin is treating you well! Cheers
There are positives to living at home and on your own. Personally I moved out 1.5 yrs ago, I could have moved out years ago, but simply did not believe in rent or paying someone else for their mortgage. After I graduated, I stayed at home for 2.5 yrs, put some money into an RRSP over the years and used it for my down payment for my first home.
I love living on my own, my personal space, cooking for my self, laundry etc and simply being an adult. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed time at home, but enjoy my own home that much more.
Never the less, great post either way!
Wow, 2.5 years! That’s a hellofalongtime! Were you able to get the babes while you were at home? Any tips if you did?
Honestly I could have brought home anyone, since I only slept in the room upstairs and the basement was turned into a full lounge/hangout room. Plus it had a seperate entrance. Never the less I did not bring much home, simply out of the respect for my parents.
Yikes, so no. I donno mate. The first 3 years out of college to spend money, to go out, to meet women is just too fun and too precious to miss out.
That said, you can still do so at 25-26 no problem!
This is an awesome post. :) I had the great fortune to be able to find a job right out of college, and so got to skip out on all these great tips. Kinda makes me wish I could move back though. ;)
I’m sure Yo mama would welcome you back home if you asked!
I just don’t believe this statistic that a majority of college grads move back in with their parents. That just doesnt sound right!
I don’t think it’s a matter of choice. Actually given a choice, most wouldn’t, it just a lack of jobs that does it. You’d be crazy to move back in with the folks, although you make a pretty good case for it lol
Everyone has a choice mate. I would work 10 hours a day at McDonald’s to avoid living back home with my parents after college.
After a year, if I still can’t make ends meet, fine. But it’s just me. I can’t do it after 4 yrs of college semi-independence.
Are “babes” more replaceable than money? Donno mate, I think money is EASILY replaceable and earnable, whereas with women…. they are unique and more effort doesn’t necessarily allow you to get more.
Think about that one!
Hahaha, nice! Next time you are at your buddies place, bring him a six pack of beer as a thank you!
Hmmmm, that is a weird phenomena that guys would live at home more than girls. I wonder why that is, since parents often fear more for the safety of their daughters.
The reason Americans are so different about not living with our parents or grandparents compared to other cultures is because it’s been marketed to us. Every separate house/apartment/condo requires material goods to fill them and manage them, and every separate property requires separate yard or landscaping care, which means someone makes more money when we believe there is something wrong with sharing homes with relatives of different generations.
Hmmm, that is a pretty plausible explanation. Good conspiracy theory and way to blame others for us not going out on our own. I like it!
@ Financial Samurai:
I do hope you are kidding, and not just woefully ignorant of cultural social development and historical context.
I’m ignorant. Share more about your experience living at home with your parents! Thnx!
When I graduated from college in 1988, I had the opinion that everyone should live at least three months away from the parents’ home before getting married. Ideally: you need to show yourself what it takes to keep a roof over your head. If you can’t live financially independent, at least you can learn what it is like to live in a different community. That experience will be a big help should a job situation force you into a move.
Some of the ways that I saw my contemporaries and siblings do that in the 1980s / 1990s still work. Military service, study abroad semester while in college, even living a summer with auntie still are good options. And more colleges these days have on-campus apartments where students can get used to buying their own groceries and doing their own housekeeping — but have the financial security of paying rent by the semester rather than by the month.
Sounds like a good plan to me. Even 3 months on the street, if one were to take it to extremes is not that long… well maybe that’s too extreme if you don’t have to. That said, the point you are making is about teaching kids independence.
Funny stuff. I think society has softened some on the grown-ups living with their parents, but would think it would be a difficult sell in the romance game.
I should take into consideration your advice in case my boy try to do those moves! Maybe give him some advice!
Interesting post, but from a parents point of view….when I graduated high school, I got a minimum wage job , and that paid enough money that I could share an apartment, get a used car, and go to college part time, there is NO WAY you could do that today. My 22 yr old has moved in and out several times due to money problems. I would never tell her that she can’t come back, but we do have house rules. Nothing too tough, but if she doesn’t like it, she is free to go hold down the sofa at one of her friends places instead. Conversely speaking, a few of her friends have landed here for a day/week/month also. Jobs are hard to find, housing costs are going up, and wages aren’t. What can you do??
Can do much in this economy if you’re looking except to keep on looking. It’s good you are housing your 22yrd old. My neighbors are working, but live at home with grandma. I believe two of them are lawyers, hence, not like they can’t afford their own place!
I wonder what your 22 yr old would think of this post?
My BIL lived in my IL’s basement with his wife and toddler for about a year while he was unemployed after he got laid off. His wife, a college graduate, refused to try to find any work with a toddler to take care of, so it was all on him. He seemed pretty stressed about the whole experience. Thankfully his industry picked up and he landed another job and they moved back out. She’s pregnant again… last I heard she was hoping for 10 kids. I think the ILs liked having the grandkid around. They still have a ton of stuff in paid storage, which I just don’t understand.
There’s a lot of things I don’t understand when it comes to other people and money.
10 kids? Are you kidding me? If the guy was unemployed for 1 year, MAYBE they shouldn’t be having another kid?
I donno about having more than 2 kids if she doesn’t work, and he was laid off for 1 yr!
I think it depends on the circumstances, Sam!
After I graduated from college back in 1988, my folks let me live at home. For rent, they made me put $550 in a savings account for a down payment on a home. Within 15 months, I was able to apply the money I had saved to get my own house.
Now, if my kids want the same deal, they’ve got it. However, if they plan on living here in their 20s scott-free, well, they’ve got another thing coming! :-)
Len Penzo dot Com
You have wise parents Len! Good for them for making you put $550/month in savings cuz you know you would have blown it otherwise.
And since you got a free deal, good that your kids can live back home with Dad when they are in their 20’s too!
Im 26 y/o asian living with my parents. Mother is unemployed cos she made 8 child.. Father got fired and he has mortgage of 77 000€ and he gets money from Union only 1000€ net plus having 4 under 18 child that goes school and 2 other who are currently doing their military services.
My and my sister 28 y/o still lives at home. The money we bring home helps familys economy and keeps our house beeing sold because living with rent with this big family cost as much as mortgage …Ofcourse one day we will move out but until then this is how we live.. Im doing as much OT I can so to support parents and others plus Im saving money to my own house.
I dont have girlfriend as u have guessed ^_^. My co-workers smile when they hear I live with my parents ..well atleast my parents dont need to worry about their house..
Hey Erdon, that’s admirable that you are living at home helping take care of your parents!
What are your thoughts of couples having too many children? 8 children sound like a lot no? But, in your respect, the parents are getting helping for you guys, so that’s good right?
All the money in the world couldn’t replace having the love of my life. That’s why getting girls is actually quite important for me!
I dated a guy who has lived with with his parents for going on 3 years at age 27… He has a great job, new car, epic kill ratio in COD: MW and a brand new ex-gf, lol. He did go to some college and lived in apartments with roommates for a few years but moved home when he had two pretty major surgeries. His mother has bent over backward to get him to stay there as long as possible (like forever). She thrives on taking care of him; buying groceries, cooking, laundry, dry cleaning, household chores, prescription refills, you name it! I almost wanted to live there (she loved my dog and was the greatest, free dog-sitter)! Its like a tiny hotel minus valet parking. I guess this is the opposite of most parents sentiments on the situation, but it may just be his mom, I’m sure dad would like more peace and quiet.
I knew him long before he moved back home but I’m not so sure how the dating is going to go with his very nosy mom. Not having another place to go is definitely a deal breaker!
What a nice mom! Two surgeries is fought tho, and bein able to live at home with the parents is awesome as a result!
Also, your example shows that ladies can dig guys who live at home!
I don’t think there’s any shame in living at home with mom and dad for a few years. It can be a big boost to sock away money for a few years. But if you start getting too old and still living at home like Cliff Clavin, well that might be a problem. :)
Sorry, but who is Cliff Clavin?
Seriously? I’m only a couple of years older than you! Cliff Clavin was a character from Cheers…took a lot of teasing from his buddies for living with his mom at like 45. And he NEVER got the girl.
Oh, Cliff from Cheers! Of course I know him. Clavin, not so much.
Hey, I resemble those remarks! Or at least I did for most of my post college career. At least the moving back into my mother’s basement part; I did my best to contribute to the household funds, at least whenever I was working. Anyway, onto the other questions:
[i]What do you think about grown adults who still live off their parents?[/i]
Well, it depends on the exact situation; there’s a big difference between living [i]with[/i] your parents, which has become acceptable, even common, and living [i]off[/i] them, not contributing materially to the household at all.
[i]Has living at home with your parents become more acceptable nowadays?[/i]
As mentioned, yes, yes it has. One of the terms my generation (Generation Y, by the way) has been saddled with is the ‘boomerang generation’, describing our tendency to return to our parents’ houses after they’ve thrown us into the real world. For the past decade or so, a string of economic shortfalls and soaring housing prices have kept most people my age, even those who are/were gainfully employed, from getting a place of our own immediately out of school. (Personally, one thing that kept me from moving out is the temporary nature of most of the jobs I’ve held since graduating; you don’t want to saddle yourself with a rent (to say nothing of a mortgage) that you won’t be able to make if your employers don’t want to keep you as a full time worker when your temporary position ends.)
The point being, there are quite a few factors leading Gen Y to be more tolerant of the ‘boomerangers’ in our midst than previous generations might have been. That said, there is a definite ‘statue of limitations’ on how long you can stay with your parents before it starts to get socially awkward. For example:
During your college years (late teens/very early twenties): Perfectly acceptable, although you better have a buddy’s house or something if you’re hoping to have any sort of parties.
Right out of college(early twenties): Not too bad; as mentioned, moving back until you get a job and get on your feet is becoming par for the course, so you’re in good company. Just don’t overstay your welcome…
Mid Twenties: It’s starting to get a little weird; you’ve probably had friends or family your age who have married, gotten their own places, and started to have kids. You’re not completely alone in doing this, but you’re probably not being truly forthcoming when describing your living conditions to your social circle/potential romantic partners.
Late Twenties: By this point, unless you have some powerful mitigating circumstances (recent (in the last three-six months recent) job loss, invalid parent you care for, etc.), you’re going to have a hard time justifying your living arrangements.
Thirties and Beyond: By the time you have your thirtieth birthday, living with your parents gets just plain weird (and I say this as someone who ‘boomeranged’ for nearly three years himself). Even among Gen Yers, you’re still one Klingon costume away from being a complete social misfit (and the assumption is that you have a Klingon costume hidden away, anyway).
[i]Is it more socially acceptable if adult women still live at home with their parents? If so, why do you think that is?[/i]
I think historically it has been more acceptable for women to live with their parents; as mentioned by other commentators, traditionally a woman would live with her parents until she was married (which also seems, at least to an after the fact observer like me, to have happened much earlier than is normal for many people in my generation). Interestingly, I think that’s it’s becoming less acceptable as females have become more ’empowered’; if I encountered a twenty-eight year old woman living at home, my first assumption wouldn’t be ‘Oh, she’s waiting for an appropriate suitor to marry,’ it would be more like ‘what’s keeping her from moving out on her own, already?’. Essentially, the same reaction I’d have to a male in the same situation.
[i]Any other tips on getting girls if you live at home with your parents?[/i]
Well, I can’t speak to any universal truths about picking up women (or men, if that’s your preferred cup of tea) when living at home, but I did meet and begin dating my now fiancee back when I was still living in my mother’s basement, so I’ll give it my best. Having a job of your own is definitely a big plus in the eyes of potential romantic partners; it’s the difference between being a stereotypical slacker and having dating potential. Pursuing someone who shares your interests is always a good idea; if you are the stereotypical geek, why not play to your strengths and try to seduce another geek? Lastly, having somewhere else to go for your trysts, besides your room at your mom’s house, is definitely a good idea. Rent a hotel room if you must; few things kill the mood faster than your parents suddenly dropping in or hollering up at you.
There you go, a few tips to getting the girl, even as you’re rocking a basement apartment at your mom’s house.
Man, what an awesomely long and thoughtful response! Thanks Rog, and welcome back! I missed your comments!
That is great you got your girl while living at home in your mom’s basement! Didn’t realize my post could have described you.
I can see the parents hollering as a mood killer for sure!
That’s a sexy picture you go there. Is that you? =)
It is interesting how North American culture values independence so much =)
I guess in the cultures where the children live at home, they also are expected to take care of their parents when they get elderly too, whereas in a North American culture, we dump’em in a nursing home =)
Yes, that is my sexy picture I just took last week! Hoorah!
Good point about nursing homes, and expectations of taking care of parents as the flip side of it all!
Your post cracked me up :)
But, I do think there’s a difference between living at home and “living off” your parents, and living at home as a contributing member of the household (ie someone who shares expenses/pays rent.)
Thanks! :) I find so many things so silly in the world, so it’s always good to poke good fun at things once in a while.
Living off one’s parents as a grown adult is tough. I’d feel bad!
No, I believe it completely. It’s totally normal in Europe and Asia. It’s so interesting how in the US, we emphasize independence SO MUCH. Family is family, right? Right.
I find this article very satirical (and i hope that was the intent). I would never go back to live at home with the parents even though they would love for me to (I’m very useful around the house). I’m unemployed and have very little money coming in right now… I have rent, car payment, student loans, bills, etc… but I just make lifestyle changes to meet those needs. I wouldn’t blame the economy per say, but the spending habits of the new college graduate generation. In regards to taking a girl home to the parents house. NEVER. I guess I get embarrassed easily.
Why do you have car payments? Isn’t it better to just pay cash and spend 1/10th your income on a car instead? Perhaps get rid of the car and ride the bus like I do might be a good move.
You’re right about other countries being fine with adult kids living at home with parents until they marry or something.
thnx for sharing your thoughts, and at least, you have some website you’re working on!
Living at home after college sucks indeed. I had to do this for a few months after college, and I could not WAIT to get out!! Right now, I miss home mostly because it’s 50x cleaner than my current residence and doesn’t smell like dog hair/crap….
I think that living at home while in your 20s as a bad this is mostly an American thing, though I cannot be positive. I do know that in many other cultures there’s nothing wrong with living at home, and if you move out, either you are doing well, or somethings up…
I honestly kind of wish I would have lived at home for at least a year after college… I paid around $750 in rent+utilities my first year after college, compared to $200 at home….. In a year I would have $6,600 more, technically speaking… If that were the case, I’d be a lot close to being debt free right now!!
I think you built more character going on your own after that few first months.
$6,600 is chump change in the scheme of things. And besides, there’s NO WAY you would have saved the $6,600. You would have spent part of it on stupid stuff.
Hmmm, I suppose I would pretend that one of my friend’s apartment is where I lived… I would never take a girlfriend to my parent’s home. I think I would also act like a minimalist, that would explain my lack of furniture and even a bed…
Then I’d act like my roommate was a jerk and hang out at her house as much as possible.
Then if I had too, I would eventually say I’m sick of my roommate and that I have decided to move in with my parents… Muahaha
Very calculated and sneaky of u Don! Would u tell her u live at home wig he parents before or after…… U know….. Holding hands ?
Forgot to mention one of the “top pick-up lines used by ‘Star Wars’ fans”:
“Your place or my mom’s?”
Oh my gosh, that is too awesome a pickup line!!
Classic post! Just had to click it with a title like that. Some wise advice for any Gen Y’ers out there. Maintaining a social life IS expensive but the ‘action’ you get post-parent living arrangements far outweighs the cons.
What “action” you talking about Brad? There’s a great movie called “40 Year Old Virgin”. Pretty cool movie!
Love this post!! Living with your parents b/c you’re down on your luck financially is one thing but living with them because you’re too lazy to become independent is just down right sad. On the topic of adults living with their parents, a decent romantic comedy about a guy crashing with his parents I watched on tv the other day is Failure to Launch with Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker.
How to get girls while living with Mom and Dad? Simple– think outside the box (aka your parents house). I temporarily moved back with my parents three times in my twenties–one, to save for a down payment, and the other two times, I was between apartments.
First, don’t be a loser who plays WoW all day. Have some ambition, live an interesting life and do something extraordinary– While living at home, I ended up producing a feature length film that is available in 5 countries.
Next, find a girl with her own place. Doing something extraordinary will compensate for the fact that you had to move back into your parents in the first place.
Now, if you don’t want a girlfriend, go travel around the world instead. Through my travels, I’ve met many wonderful women from various countries; Met an Irish girl in Brazil, a beautiful German in New Zealand– many months down the road, I got to visit their beautiful countries for a fraction of what it normally would cost to do so–always a free place to stay.
Again, you can also spin this upon your return back to the states– Girls will love to hear about your adventures around the world, rather than what your mom cooked you for dinner the night before.
When it comes down to it though, in this economy, people should consider themselves lucky that they have a place to go when times are tough. Many people don’t have that option.
Sounds like a great plan, and a great life Mike! Can I play Starcraft II for 6 hours a day though if I forsake WoW??
Thanks for your thoughts. Your last point is spot on.
I not only have my 24 y/o son at home but now my 29 y/o moved back (having marital issues). They’re not embarrassed as so many of their friends are still living with the ‘rents.
The youngest is still in paramedic training (hopefully done in a few months) and the oldest can’t afford a place now. I’m sure they’d rather be somewhere else with more privacy and perks. I try not to make it too comfortable so no laundry or short order cook services here.
Hi Kay Lynn, it is great your sons are able to live back home with you and have a loving mother to support them in their time of need. That is what family is all about!
Good for your youngest to work in paramedic training, and save money in the process! That is an excellent endeavor by him.
Can you share with us your thoughts on parents wanting their kids to move back home with them? It’s generally the kids who are like no way (attitude of this post), but would love to hear it from a parent’s point of view.
I like @Donna Freedman’s thoughts too: “I know you were satirizing the whole situation, Sam. That said: Anyone who asks his or her parents if it’s OK to move back in had better be willing to chip in. If they won’t take money, then do your own laundry and do some basic housekeeping in the rest of the place in addition to keeping your room clean. Help with the yard work. Cook an occasional meal. Volunteer to do errands.
Most importantly: Do as many of these things as you can without comment. Don’t say, “I just swept the kitchen!” You don’t get a gold star for doing your share.
Seriously, folks: They raised you. You’re an adult. Don’t revert to childhood and drop your laundry by the washing machine, or whine that there’s nothing to eat around here.”
We really don’t want the kids living here at their ages but understand that it is thebest (only) option at this point. They don’t expect us to include them in our plans (vacation, dinner or others) and do keep up their own rooms/laundry, etc.
We haven’t asked them to chip in more other than cleaning the bathrooms they use. There isn’t any yard work due to the condo and my husband is retired and keeps up the home while they both work (as do I).
We’ll house them until they’re able to support their selves but want to push them hout as soon as possible. I want my guest room back!
Ahhh… gotcha, so they are all together with you in a condo. That’s a little tougher!!
I hear you on the guest room/extra room! Sometimes, things can get a little suffocating!
Good luck to all!
more kids (despite their age) are being forced to move in and live as a joint family in these economic times. we hear couples, even couples with kids/single parents move in with their parents to get through tough times. a friend of mine moved from new york back to MI to live with his parents because his mom and dad had both lost their jobs. by living with them and working, he was able to help out on payments and prevent foreclosure. what a role model – Nick that’s for you!
Now THAT is an honorable thing to do! Oh gosh, poor parents. That is super fantastico of their son. Great work Nick!
Can’t ask for a better model….
That said, heck with the parents’ home, just spend time at your gf’s apartment? lol
This post was epic! I had tears in my eyes the whole way through it :) I think if you are an adult 30yrs + and you are NOT taking care of your parents or a contributing factor that allows them to stay in the home then you probably won’t be taking any dates home. If there’s a legit reason to it – outside of frugality- then I think people can relate to it. Your not “staying” there you are “helping”. Great post!
Thnx mate. I would make the house spotless for my parents, that’s for sure. Too bad I can’t cook for SQUADOOSH, so I can’t help there. I’d do my own laundry too and water the garden :O)
Wow, a reverse T.O.P. (Take Over Payments). This guy is a master. I have to teach this to my son. ;-)
I dunno. A good friend of mine from college ended up moving back in with moms after he left school as a result of “spending too much time on the other Dean’s List” (his own words) and ended up living there for about 8 years. With no rent and easy the easy credit of the early 2000’s, he was able get some nice toys and managed to meet some ladies off the net, a few of which he ended up seeing long term. Evidently girl he ended up marrying didn’t care about his residence, although I think he probably spent most of his time at her place before he officially moved in with her.
Eh? “Spending too much time on the other Dean’s list”? Sounds kinky, but maybe not.
EIGHT YEARS though? By golly that’s nuts!
But, at the end of the day, he got married, so good for him!
I lived with my parents until I was 28. I had a girlfriend who at the time bitching at me living at home “you make enough money”, yet herself was also living at home. I was also paying rent to my parents $300/mo.
Sam, I think you could relate to this also, I had a really crappy car too (otherwise known as a “station car” for the train station)
I had a goal though, I was saving for a condo. In retrospect it was the best decision and investment I ever did.
Not everyone living at home are “loosers”.
See! Who says u can’t get a girl if you are living at home in adulthood? It’s totally possible and guys living at home need to know it! Empowerment man, not not just Starcraft gaming all night long!
I don’t think adults living at home are losers. Only some pesky girlfriends do. Gotta change their biases!
I think like you said the truth would come out eventually and this dude seemed to have a have a solid plan,sure he gonna get some slack but the right female would think hmm it’s this is annoying but he has a good plan.
What is the fate? Independence?
Saving money is good. Guess the question is how so.
If u wouldn’t change a thing then you believe it is right to start from the bottom, and work your way up and out of debt!
Nothing wrong in staying with your parents a couple of years after university is finished. that’s how i was able to put together a down payment on a nice condo and then move up quickly to a house. Looking back, it was worth it!
The question though is…. how did you get girls?!
I had a gf for 5 years (3 while studying, 2 when I started working) before I got married to her all the while I was still with my parents. I don’t see the problem.
You get girls the same way everyone else does, online, school, friends….
That is sweat! OK, so I am delusional then. It isn’t hard to get girls if you live at home with Mom & Dad, and this post is a waste of time!
Okay, Sam. I have a brother who just turned 30 and still lives with Mom and Dad! Let me just set the record straight here: He isn’t getting any girls! And I’m pretty sure any girl would think it’s not very sexy.
Now, I’m not saying that living with the parents is a bad choice. It can work favorably for a person’s finances if they’re saving up for a down payment on a house or paying off their student loans while working. However, if they’re mooching off their parents, having mom cook and do their laundry while they sit around and play video games, well then that’s just not right.
Do I sound biased? Maybe a bit jealous? DEFINITELY!
So you THINK he doesn’t get any girls, but I bet he is getting busy left and right especially after you forward this post to him!
I’m jealous of my 27 year old neighbor living with grandma too! I love weekly apple pies and a free Volvo to drive!
My wife lived with her parents up until she moved in with me, 15 years post-college. Most of the people I went to high school with lived with their parents through college. Guess what? We didn’t have student loans hanging over our heads after graduation.
I know you were satirizing the whole situation, Sam. That said: Anyone who asks his or her parents if it’s OK to move back in had better be willing to chip in. If they won’t take money, then do your own laundry and do some basic housekeeping in the rest of the place in addition to keeping your room clean. Help with the yard work. Cook an occasional meal. Volunteer to do errands.
Most importantly: Do as many of these things as you can without comment. Don’t say, “I just swept the kitchen!” You don’t get a gold star for doing your share.
Seriously, folks: They raised you. You’re an adult. Don’t revert to childhood and drop your laundry by the washing machine, or whine that there’s nothing to eat around here.
Donna, I vote ur comment as the best comment of the morning! Well said and I totally agree!
It’s fine to live at home, but one better pitch in and cook and clean and pay the bills with no complaints or else get outta there
Damn straight, Skippy! When my sisters and I turned 16 the Federal Government (of Australia) decreased my parents’ pension (both were on permanent Disability) and gave the money directly to us, because we were still in school. 16 years old and the Govt. paid us (IIRC) over $400/month just to stay in school.
Being 16 and living at home $400/month seemed a huge amount to us, and free money to boot. Until Mum & Dad explained that the money the Govt was giving us was money they were no longer receiving themselves. It seemed only fair to us to hand over a large share to them. At the time (25 years ago) we were getting about $20/month allowance, so damn right $400 seemed like a lot. Even the $100/month we kept, after handing over $300 to Mum & Dad for ‘board’, was a decent amount to us. And why shouldn’t we give Mum & Dad some of ‘our’ money? We weren’t paying for food, or gas, or water, or electricity. Mum was still doing my laundry, cooking my meals, etc. It was only fair.
Later I would get a full-time job but as I was still living at home I still paid ‘board’. In fact on my own volition I even increased how much board I was paying, just to help Mum & Dad out. As I also checked the mail I even used to intercept the bills and pay them sometimes, except I’d forget to tell Mum. That caused her some concern when the gas bill or the electricity bill “didn’t arrive” and only then would I remember I’d paid it for her :D
I used to ride the train to work with a few guys, one of whom was doing his apprenticeship. He was in his final year so he was almost making Journeyman wages, and believe me, skilled Blue Collar laborers make a decent wage, especially when they still live at home like this guy did. I remember him complaining to us that his Mum had stopped making his lunch for him (he’s in his 20s, and his Mum was still making his lunch) so he said he was going to stop paying ‘Board’. Turns out he’s paying $10/month. And he was dead serious. Living at home and paying $10/month ‘board’ and he was complaining because his Mum wouldn’t make his lunch anymore.
I lived with Mum & Dad until I was in my late 20s when I moved out into my own house, but I always paid my own way. I paid board, I paid the bills, and I took care of things around the house whenever necessary. There is no shame in living with your parents in your 20s, not unless you have something to be ashamed of, such as being a free loader.
Wow, late 20s! My main question is: Did you get any babes? And if you did, do you think you could have got more babes if you went solo?
In all fairness, I know plenty of people from different cultures where the kids stay home longer until they finish university, but after that yeah then it’s usually time to move out. I moved out myself when I had just started, but my circumstances were special. If you can stay at home then why not? Why waste hundreds of dollars a month while you’re still studying and not even working?
On the other hand, it’s possible to get too comfortable. I know a guy that ended up playing WoW for two years, literally in the parent’s basement. It’s their fault for letting him do that, though.
Does the guy you know who plays World of Warcraft and Starcraft 2 look like the guy in the picture?
The first couple years is fine, but afterwards I donno. I’d buy a tent and live in he park.
LOL, no, he looks “normal”. He was very sensitive to sunlight the first couple of weeks he went back out into the world, though, and his dress code consisted of black & white.
Only a t-shirt, so it will be a little harder to hide it ;) I live in Canada too, so maybe a shuriken is more likely than a shotgun (actually come to think of it, I think those are banned here, too).
Black and white and maybe a shotgun underneath the trench coat?
I think it is a lot more common now than it was when I was in my early 20s. As a matter of fact, I didn’t know anybody that lived at home once they got out of school. However, jobs were easier to get back then. Now, people are losing their jobs or getting divorced, and end up back home with mom.
I believe George Costanza tried to convince his girlfriend that his parent’s home was actually his. Gosh I miss Seinfeld.
By the way, the DJs on the radio were ironically discussing how many people are living with their parents today. The consensus was that parents are too soft and that people aren’t willing to work hard enough.
That’s a tough consensus bc the economy sucks so bad. I’m sure if people had an opportunity to work, they would.
The parallel is with the 99 weeks of unemployment insurance. At some point, it may be easier to just collect for the entire time.
Gosh, I hope I don’t come across as an insensitive bastard in this post!
I didn’t think you came across as insensitive at all. No worries there.
Wow, you make it sound like a long-term option! Not a chance! Living at home should be for a year or two at most. It shouldn’t be to build up enough savings to move into a place on your own. It should be if you don’t have a job or if you need to dig yourself out of debt.
If you can’t live on your own and save money, then you’re going to be the 35 year old guy who still lives with his parents! The only positive to that is that people will start to believe that it’s your house and you really are taking care of them!
Exactly! Not so bad chilling with the parents and actually returning the favor and taking care of them? I know a lot of parents who would LOVE to have their children come live with them, b/c it’s less lonely, and the house is big enough for them.
Nostalgia is powerful!
Only guys can be embarrassed by still living with their parents? Though I don’t have a penis, I can’t imagine moving back in with my parents after I graduate. (For the record though, I don’t think they can either.) The independence is also WAY too much fun – also there’s a 90% chance I won’t be moving back to my hometown anyway; the career field I want to work in doesn’t have a strong base there.
By the way I’m kidding – I’m not one of those feminazis Rush Limbaugh warned you about. But back to the question at hand, a good number of my graduated friends live at home, and a few of my friends skipped out on dorm life to save the $$. So I guess I would say it’s a little more common/accepted to mooch off your parents for a few extra years.
Wait, you still don’t have a penis? lol. What did Rush warn us about? Honestly, I don’t follow him or anything he says.
Do you think it’s more acceptable for women to live at home with parents than men? If so, why?
I don’t know if it’s more acceptable, it’s probably talked about less or at least not as looked down upon. It’s gotta be because of old social norms though – the woman not become truly independent until she marries and becomes part of another family. Hey, at least times have changed though. My parents wouldn’t dream of letting me move back in after graduation – without paying anyway.
My younger (22) year old brother just graduated from Uni and moved back in with my parents. He’s not too excited about it, but he figures sucking it up for a year and paying off his loans in one year is better than having his own place for babes and many years of interest payments.
Notre Dame master’s of education graduate is having a hard time finding a teaching job, so he’s getting a second master’s, living at home, and paying zero expense (free rent, water, elec, tv, food, ….) He’s not happy about it. Dad is not too happy about it. But it’s working for him at this time, and once he gets a better job (ie a real job) he will get out of the house debt free.
It may not be how we did it, but what is so wrong with that?
Nothing wrong with it at all! And more power to him if he can bring home a lovely chica while the parents aren’t looking.
I had the best time trying to sneak friends over in my youth. Bigger the house the better!