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Financial Samurai

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A Woman’s Journey To Financial Independence: From Broke To Freedom

Updated: 12/16/2020 by Samurai Sydney 100 Comments

Thanks for all the recent support about keeping Financial Samurai going! Your encouragement is greatly appreciated. One feedback I got was that readers would like to hear more from a woman’s journey to financial independence.

I thought who better to share her thoughts than my wife, Sydney. Sydney is the CFO of Financial Samurai and also the co-CEO of our son and daughter. My goal is for her to regularly post once a month and join me for some coffee talk on our podcast.

Money was never my parents’ forte. It was a constant source of stress in their lives – like a sore wound that wouldn’t heal. Thus, it came as no surprise that money was a root cause of their divorce.

Growing up in a somewhat broken, working-class family gave me the gift of grit and perseverance. Despite the difficult times, I’m thankful that I managed to have plenty of happy childhood memories.

If you ever heard your parents fight about money when you were a child, you know how unsettling and scary it can feel. As a result, I used to worry a lot about money when I was young.

Every time my dad lost his job, I’d worry if my parents would be able to pay their bills. But, the positive side effect was that the older I got, the more I wanted to become a financially independent woman as soon as possible.

My Parent’s Weakness Became My Strength

I wanted to turn my parents’ weakness with money into my own strength. Neither of my parents went to college, which limited their compensation potential throughout their careers.

My dad’s challenges in keeping a steady blue-collar job as an electrician gave me the fire to lock down an office job I could confidently rely on without the fear of getting let go unexpectedly.

My mom’s countless hours of overtime at a low-wage clerical job motivated me to not only go to college, but also secure a higher-paying job.

With a hunger for FI and an undertone of fear propelling me forward, I studied hard and made my way through school with hand-me-downs, scholarships, loans, and part-time jobs.

I didn’t have amazing SAT scores, but my grades and extra curricular activities helped get me into The College Of William and Mary. That’s where Sam and I met. He was a senior. I was a freshman. Sparks flew and our 20+ year friendship began.

I couldn’t be more grateful!

Taking Flight To FI

In order to attend college, my parents took out loans to cover half of my in-state college tuition and told me I was responsible for the other half. Knowing I would graduate with debt put my skin in the game from the get go. It drove me even harder to do well in school because I knew I wouldn’t be able to rely on my parents to bail me out. They were already buried in debt with unstable jobs. I didn’t want to make them worse off.

I decided I would graduate as soon as possible. No super senior year for me. Thus, I barely had a social life in college but I didn’t care. My priorities were a diploma, solid employment, and financial independence.

I couldn’t wait to sell my textbooks, go out on my own, get a job, and start saving money. I kept my head down, piled on classes, and graduated in 3.5 years!

Graduating in December was a little strange because I wasn’t in a traditional graduation ceremony. I didn’t get to wear a cap and gown or cheer with friends, but it was worth it.

After graduating, I packed a suitcase, moved from Williamsburg to San Francisco and didn’t look back. I saved everywhere I could and took a minimum wage part-time job right away to keep me afloat while I searched for full-time work. My part-time job only paid about $8/hour, but it was better than nothing.

About a month later, I landed a full-time job as an Executive Assistant for a micro, private investment management office. I was thrilled. My starting salary was a modest $32,000 in 2002, but the skills I picked up helped propel me forward.

Related: Achieving Financial Freedom On A Modest Salary Can Absolutely Be Done

First Came A Fear Of Money, Then Came Love

Although I attribute my fears of not having enough money as my initial motivation to work hard and build my career, I attribute my love of money as the ongoing impetus that allowed me to reach financial independence and maintain it.

It may sound odd or greedy to say, “I love money,” but I do. I don’t love money because I want a heaping collection of designer handbags or a house full of luxury goods. My favorite store is actually Target, where I shop maybe once a year.

I love money because it provides security, flexibility, freedom, a comfortable lifestyle, and the ability to help others.

I appreciate money so much that I don’t want to spend it very often. (Although, I admit I enjoy spending money on our son.) Overall, I prefer the excitement and satisfaction of seeing my bank and investment accounts grow instead. I’m sure many of you feel the same way too.

Key Steps That Lead To My FI

I could easily ramble on and on about other things I did from age 21 to my late 30s on my FI journey. Instead here are some key steps I took:

Kept Expenses Low

  • Chose an affordable in-state public college, worked part-time while taking classes, took unpaid but relevant internships every summer, and graduated in only 3.5 years.
  • We opted for an intimate, low budget wedding that saved us tens of thousands and was completely stress-free to plan.
  • Made sure I could pay off my credit card bills in full every month since my early 20s.

Invested Consistently

  • Prioritized saving over spending and fell in love with a frugal lifestyle.
  • I opened a Roth IRA as soon as I wasn’t living paycheck to paycheck.
  • Once I got a 401k, I stretched to get the full company match asap, and then maxed out my contributions as soon as I could afford it.
  • Opened a couple brokerage accounts in my 20s and 30s in order to generate passive income.

Focused On Earning More

  • By the time I turned 25, I’d doubled my income and was earning more than both my parents combined for most of their careers.
  • After a brief quarter-life career crisis, I decided to pursue more interests alongside my reliable full-time job and started side hustling.
    • I tried photography and acting in commercials for fun, but quickly realized I’d quickly go broke trying and smartly gave that up.
    • Started cat sitting and dog sitting for some extra cash.
    • Taught violin and piano lessons to adults a couple times a week.
    • Began blogging and started regular freelance writing assignments.
  • By age 30, I finally broke the $100,000 mark at my day job and was earning an extra 10k or so in side hustles and part-time work during my “free” time.

Managed My Managers

  • Proactively met with my managers every six months to discuss my performance and interest in promotions and raises.

Negotiated A Severance

  • When I turned 34, Sam and I agreed that I would join him in early retirement since that’s the age he left work too. He helped me negotiate a really comfortable severance package that provided a lot of flexibility.
  • By age 36 I surpassed a $1 million net worth. Growing up I never imagined I could achieve a goal like this.

Became A Mom

  • At age 37 we were blessed with our son. At 39, I gave birth to our daughter. It felt great to have two children right before 40.
  • Today, at 40, I plan on helping Sam do more with Financial Samurai.

The Grind Was Not Easy

Reaching financial independence was exhausting and incredibly stressful.

College wasn’t fun for me. It was a total grind. In order to graduate in 3.5 years, I took a crazy amount of credits each semester and studied non-stop. When I wasn’t studying, I was working part-time for $4-6/hour, volunteering, or performing with the symphony.

I didn’t coast in my full-time jobs either. The various roles I held over the years required a ton of attention to detail and long hours. If I were to fat-finger one number, miss a deadline, or upload the wrong file, a six or seven digit error could erupt.

Even if I did my job 100% accurately, I was still at the mercy of my colleagues and subordinates. If anyone working on my client accounts made a mistake, we were all screwed.

Trying to put out fires someone else caused while getting yelled at by my clients wasn’t something I could envision doing for another 10, 20, 30 years.

Yearning, Then Earning Freedom

I realized I needed change when I hit my early-to-mid 30s. I was struggling with health issues that likely resulted from my intense career. It was frustrating. A sour churn in my gut told me I needed change.

Side hustling, a growing net worth, and multiple income streams outside of my day job gave me hope that I could transform my lifestyle. When I was rejected for a promotion at age 33 that I believed I deserved, I was livid. What was the point of working so hard and risking my health if I wasn’t going to be recognized for my efforts?

Long story short, I raised “hell” in a respectful manner and got my promo six months later. While the raise and title were great, a multitude of other things were simultaneously going wrong by then with office politics, re-orgs, turnover, and rising client turmoil.

Later that year, I remember taking a cab home from work at 9pm one night and crying myself to sleep. As I lay in bed that night I made my decision to pull the ripcord. I was ready to get out.

Sam had already engineered his layoff by then, and we immediately started strategizing how I could do the same. I’m so grateful that in 2015, I successfully walked away from my day-job with a severance and a smile from ear-to-ear. Here’s how I engineered my layoff if you want to read the details.

Life After Retirement

After I left my full-time job, we took several trips we’d been longing for but had been putting off. I also have continued to write, edit, do backend work, freelance, take on part-time projects here and there, and became a full-time mom. It is an incredible ongoing adventure.

Did I earn my freedom? I like to think so. The bull market over the past 10 years certainly helped a lot. But I don’t really consider myself retired yet though. Maybe once our son goes off to college I’ll feel fully retired; we’ll see.

I certainly wake up happy every day now that I no longer have to commute to a job where I’d get yelled at. Although now I get yelled at by a toddler instead. But at least I get to make all the rules. ;)

Passing The Torch

A Woman's Journey To Financial Independence: From Broke To Freedom

Even though I’ve done pretty well for myself, I don’t view FI as a one and done achievement. It’s something I’m continually working to maintain and grow, especially now that we have a family.

Sam and I regularly wonder how our son will view the world and money as he grows into an adult. Watching a child grow up is certainly a momentous journey. And we surely hope we can pass our love and respect of hard work and financial independence on to him.

Sometimes I forget how much I used to fear not having enough money to pay bills due to my upbringing in a household that always struggled to earn a steady paycheck.

Thankfully, things have worked out and I’m extremely grateful to have a partner to purposefully live the life we want to live.

Takeaways For Financial Independence

Here’s a quick summary of some steps that helped me achieve financial independence.

  • Don’t plan to rely on your parents for financial support after college. Put your skin in the game early on.
  • Know that it is possible to get an undergraduate degree in under 4 years. It’s not easy, but it can be done and helps save on student loans.
  • Communicate openly with your partner about your finances and set individual and shared goals both before and after marriage
  • Have regular, open dialogues with your managers at work. Know your worth. All too often if you don’t ask, you don’t get.
  • Take retirement planning seriously in your 20s. Learn to love money for the independence, security, and options it provides.

Every day I humbly continue to slice through money’s mysteries with Sam. Thanks for reading! If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Sam’s note:

I’m extremely proud of my wife for taking the risk to come out to San Francisco after college when she knew nobody here but me. Our relationship could have easily sputtered, but she took a leap of faith! She had a solid 13-year-career where she was able to make her own money and not have to depend on me for anything.

To motivate each other, we’ve always pushed each other to save and invest aggressively with specific financial targets in mind. I wanted her to hit a $1 million net worth on her own because I knew she would gain an incredible amount of satisfaction if she did.

There’s no doubt life is easier as a team. I’d love to hear female perspectives about reaching financial independence.

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Filed Under: Retirement

Author Bio: I started Financial Samurai in 2009 to help people achieve financial freedom sooner. Financial Samurai is now one of the largest independently run personal finance sites with about one million visitors a month.

I spent 13 years working at Goldman Sachs and Credit Suisse. In 1999, I earned my BA from William & Mary and in 2006, I received my MBA from UC Berkeley.

In 2012, I left banking after negotiating a severance package worth over five years of living expenses. Today, I enjoy being a stay-at-home dad to two young children, playing tennis, and writing.

Order a hardcopy of my new WSJ bestselling book, Buy This, Not That: How To Spend Your Way To Wealth And Freedom. Not only will you build more wealth by reading my book, you’ll also make better choices when faced with some of life’s biggest decisions.

Current Recommendations:

1) Check out Fundrise, my favorite real estate investing platform. I’ve personally invested $810,000 in private real estate to take advantage of lower valuations and higher cap rates in the Sunbelt. Roughly $160,000 of my annual passive income comes from real estate. And passive income is the key to being free.

2) If you have debt and/or children, life insurance is a must. PolicyGenius is the easiest way to find affordable life insurance in minutes. My wife was able to double her life insurance coverage for less with PolicyGenius. I also just got a new affordable 20-year term policy with them.

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Comments

  1. Don says

    September 4, 2019 at 5:28 am

    Awesome story of strength and determination, and thank you for sharing! Any plans to have another Samurai baby? :)

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 4, 2019 at 2:09 pm

      Thanks Don, glad you liked my story. The future is full of so many unknowns which is what makes it such an incredible journey.

      Reply
  2. Austin says

    September 3, 2019 at 8:45 pm

    “I love money because it provides security, flexibility, freedom, a comfortable lifestyle, and the ability to help others.”
    I love your quote about money. This is how I feel. Money can be used for so many good things. I use money to free myself up to be able to eventually do whatever I want when I want

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 4, 2019 at 2:07 pm

      Thanks Austin. I may have to make that my tag line as it seems to be quite a favorite quote in the comments. :)

      Reply
    • Robert Ruschak says

      September 6, 2019 at 11:14 am

      Money will provide me with more experiences and opportunities that I cannot imagine in this short human life!

      Reply
  3. GYM says

    September 3, 2019 at 7:58 pm

    Are you Sydney from another blog from San Francisco that has been around for 10 years? The name eludes me now :)

    Wow 7 figures at age 36, that’s amazing! I am hoping for that at in a few years, I’m turning 36 this year and have 5 figures to go.

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 4, 2019 at 2:05 pm

      Thanks GYM! I’ve been in SF since 2001 and have been blogging for about 8.5 years or so. Time goes so fast it’s hard to keep track!

      Every bit counts as I like to say when it comes to goals. Some we reach faster or slower than others, but every bit of effort gets us closer to success!

      Reply
  4. LG says

    September 3, 2019 at 7:11 pm

    Love the pink samurai logo ‍❤️‍

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 4, 2019 at 1:57 pm

      :D Thanks!

      Reply
  5. Goat Finja says

    September 3, 2019 at 6:27 pm

    I enjoyed reading this. It’s nice to hear woman’s perspective on building wealth. My favorite advice from this post: “Learn to love money for the independence, security, and options it provides.”

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 4, 2019 at 1:56 pm

      Thanks GF! Glad to hear you enjoyed the article :)

      Reply
  6. Dick Chan says

    September 3, 2019 at 3:41 pm

    Baby Samurai is one very lucky dude to have 2 great Sifus instead of 1.

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 4:55 pm

      :) Thanks. I’m looking forward to teaching him about money starting with little steps like doing chores and projects for a small allowance and learning how to practice saving money to reach a goal to buy a special toy or something, and then working our way up to bigger lessons about investing as he gets older. There’s so many ways to teach kids about personal finance. We can’t rely on schools to do it for us!

      Reply
  7. Mary says

    September 3, 2019 at 2:37 pm

    Thank you, Sydney, for sharing a wonderful story of determination, hard work, Smart work, and financial diligence and self-control! It’s s-o inspiring to read that in the Samurai home you have some joint accounts. When my hubs and I started we had little but we did it together. All the best to you, Sam, and your toddler Samurai. Sending your story to my young 20 something Samurai in training. You’re an inspiration to this immigrant family for sure!

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 4:51 pm

      Thanks for your kind words Mary! Yes it is wonderful to tackle investing and financial goals as a team. Thanks for sharing!

      Reply
  8. sfjudah says

    September 3, 2019 at 1:55 pm

    Please try to find a way to get you’re advice and articles to younger individuals in high-school. I wish tremendously that i had your advice to attend a state school and graduate under 4 years.

    Reply
    • Financial Samurai says

      September 3, 2019 at 2:36 pm

      How would you suggest we do that? Perhaps you can share this site and other sites like it with younger individuals in high school?

      Reply
  9. TheEngineer@1DesignerLife.com says

    September 3, 2019 at 1:53 pm

    You and Sam are both so alike with regard to money – this is not and ying and yang for sure.

    With regard to my personal FI journey, it was planned and executed solely by me. I have always used my wife as the counter balance to make sure the totality of my life is not just about FI.

    FI is just one of the piece of the puzzle – albeit a CRUCIAL piece!

    I shared many of your early experiences as my life started out in the low 20th percentile living under my father’s roof.

    Ironically, I never felt poor. My greatest spark of inspiration is the deep desire to provide a better life for my family than my parents did for me – they did they best with their capability!

    We have so much more opportunities than our parents – it would be a shame if we can not do better than them.

    It is not about MONEY – it is about progress!

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 4:48 pm

      I like your emphasis on progress. Progress is extremely gratifying. Running in place or feeling like one is falling behind over a long period can be quite demotivating. Being able to see progress, achieve goals, and complete tasks on the other hand is super motivating. I like putting lots of small items on my to-do list for this very reason. Each time I get to cross one off I’m more eager to work on the next one.

      Reply
    • Financial Samurai says

      September 3, 2019 at 6:55 pm

      I will say that “progress” is my one word definition for happiness. Progress in anything you do is extremely gratifying.

      I have a friend who is worth a lot. He’s not very happy often times because his stock price has gone nowhere for several years. When he was much poor, he was much happier because of the growth of his company.

      Reply
  10. Taylor says

    September 3, 2019 at 1:42 pm

    Very cool to hear from you, Sydney! Love the life lessons that can apply to anyone.

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 4:45 pm

      Thanks Taylor!

      Reply
  11. Phillp says

    September 3, 2019 at 12:38 pm

    Great story Sydney! Would love to see an expanded version of your story. The ESIMoney blog has a millionaire interview series that has a dearth of women who achieved FI on their own. Would be great if you participated in that series.

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 4:45 pm

      Nice idea. I do hope more women believe that it’s possible to become millionaires. Living in SF it’s become so normal to see successful and financially independent women everywhere that it’s easy to forget there are many women out there who struggle with finances, lack role models or lack the financial education to understand how important financial health is from a young age.

      Reply
  12. Deanna @ Recovering Women Wealth says

    September 3, 2019 at 12:25 pm

    Sydney, thank you for the bravery to share your story and where you came from. It’s so encouraging to see the relatively short amount of time it took you to hit $1mil in net worth by keeping your head down & working hard. IMHO pain typically results in one of two paths, it can break or motivate a person. Glad to see it did the latter for you. You & Sam seem to be a strong united team. All the best to you two & your son!

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 4:38 pm

      Thanks Deanna! That’s a good point. I guess I never really thought about how it could have broken me and taken me down a much different path. I suppose I did feel broken that day I cried myself to sleep, but at least I used that “crash” to figure out how to climb out of that hole and back into the daylight!

      Reply
  13. David D. says

    September 3, 2019 at 9:15 am

    Thanks for sharing. I would like to know if your parents have asked for money or pressured (guilted) you to pay for some of their expenses after they learned of your success. If so, how did you handle it? If not, what do you think you would do?

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 4:37 pm

      Interesting question. My mother does not like receiving help. She is an innate giver, which is a great trait but on the flip-side has also made it hard for her to budget throughout her life. For example, she feels a constant “need” to donate to charities and regularly buy gifts for friends even when she can’t afford it. She has this belief that it’s okay to go into debt in those situations because it’s more important to give. (rolling my eyes thinking about it). Anyway, she’s never asked me directly for money – she feels too guilty asking for help. I usually just hear about how stressed she is about xyz bills and such. Then I offer to help and she’ll usually reluctantly agree eventually. Whenever I have helped pay her bills she is very grateful and apologizes for weeks/months afterwards that I had to help her out.

      If she had a ton of money I probably would have grown up much differently. With her personality and love of giving things I likely would have been crazy spoiled and not developed my own drive for FI so things worked out for the best I suppose. :)

      My dad on the flip side has asked me for money directly on many occasions. Not that he really wanted to – I think it’s always been hard on his pride to ask for help. It also seems hard for him to say thanks, maybe because he feels embarrassed. But when he’s asked directly, he’s really needed it. For example, during some tough times when I was in my late 20s/early 30s I cried when I found out he was on food stamps and needed money to pay his electricity bills. I had no idea things had gotten that tough for him at that time. He’s in much better shape now fortunately.

      Reply
      • David D. says

        September 3, 2019 at 7:59 pm

        Thank you for your reply. My next question is if you have ever been upset about helping them? Their unwillingness to change their behavior? Do you feel obligated to help?

        In my experience, I have had to deal with all of these questions and I’m still figuring out my answers to them.

        Reply
  14. eema says

    September 3, 2019 at 9:05 am

    nice to hear ‘herstory’.
    love the content on this site.
    we all need to talk more about money specifics, or how else can we learn?

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 4:13 pm

      ;) Thanks eema

      Reply
  15. Robert C. says

    September 3, 2019 at 8:46 am

    Great article! As a father raising 3 girls it is good to get a women perspective on finance. I hope you keep writing as I have enjoyed your articles, and both of your honesty about money and choices in life.

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 4:12 pm

      Thanks Robert! What a blessing and a full house you have. Glad to hear you’ve enjoyed my articles. I’m a much slower writer than Sam (he is actually crazy fast compared to me and most people I know) but I do hope to get a few more articles published before the year is up.

      Reply
  16. Christine Minasian says

    September 3, 2019 at 8:41 am

    What a great story Sydney! Graduating in 3.5 years that’s an achievement…you’re right- you did not have a lot of fun in college. You and Sam do make a great team and probably the most important choice you will make is who you choose to marry, so good on you both!!!

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 4:08 pm

      Thanks Christine! Yeah, it’s funny whenever I hear someone say, “I miss being in college, it was so much fun,” I just chuckle to myself because that’s not how I felt. I did have some fun times of course, but most of the time I was constantly hustling and just focused on the finish line.

      Reply
  17. Shelley says

    September 3, 2019 at 8:22 am

    Thanks for sharing your journey!! We really appreciate all the time and love you and Sam put into this website!! I like the balance between “squeezing every dime” and “spend, spend, you can’t take it with you”. Being comfortable financially is a wonderful thing!! Thank you for your encouragement and hard-hitting truth!

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 4:05 pm

      Thanks Shelley! Yeah there is beauty in finding that balance and then the dance of maintaining financial health over the long haul. I still try to remind myself not to get too comfortable so I won’t fall down a slippery slope of taking things for granted. Even though I managed to become financially independent, there are still countless unknowns in the future. I want to make sure I never wind up in a situation where I start to experience financial stress again.

      Reply
  18. MattPNW says

    September 3, 2019 at 7:30 am

    “I love money because it provides security, flexibility, freedom, a comfortable lifestyle, and the ability to help others.”

    That sums it up! I tell my spouse and select others the same thing, though perhaps not as eloquently.

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 3:57 pm

      Thanks Matt! Now I sure hope I can help our son develop this same mindset. ;)

      Reply
  19. ET says

    September 3, 2019 at 7:22 am

    Sydney – loved this and think your advice is spot on. You didn’t sugarcoat your journey to FI and I appreciate it. Gives me motivation to keep going!

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 3:55 pm

      Thanks ET! I definitely had some really rough days along the way but fortunately I was able to keep going and they were well worth it now that I can look back.

      Reply
  20. Joe says

    September 3, 2019 at 6:52 am

    I confess. I love money too. My wife is the same way. Our families struggled with finance when we were young and we saved to avoid that. Money provides security and then later freedom. That’s why we’d rather save than spend. That’s different than most people. They’re motivated by the spending power.
    Your journey is great. Thanks for sharing. I hope to meet you in person someday.

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 3:53 pm

      Thanks Joe! I know you’ve been around the blogosphere for a long time too and agree it’d be fun to meet someday.

      It is interesting how some people are very motivated by money’s spending power and less on the freedom and security aspects. I was listening to a podcast the other day about how someone’s belief was “spend money while you have it because you may not have it later” and I was just shaking my head.

      Reply
  21. Simple Money Man says

    September 3, 2019 at 6:45 am

    Great Job Sydney, you’ve come a long way! it’s also very good to have a similar mindset about personal finance with your spouse. Usually, one spouse has a mindset and the other has the opposite, but it makes life a lot easier when both are on the same page from the get-go.

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 3:23 pm

      Thanks! Yeah opposites attract as they say. Sam and I are opposite in many ways, but fortunately we on the same page when it comes to finances.

      Reply
  22. Jeff VA says

    September 3, 2019 at 6:35 am

    Thanks for sharing. The biggest takeaway from this article for me was to start investing early, be as independent as you can even if it may mean you’re paying rent, and always ask so you’re recognized.

    The first one (investing early) was extremely difficult for me. I did put in the bare minimum to get the company 401k match, but when I saw the direct deposit hit my bank account, the last thing I wanted to do was delay gratification. Especially because that’s all I’ve been doing leading up to my early 20s. I had to delay gratification to get into college, I had to delay gratification to graduate on time, and delay gratification to have a chance at landing a decent paying job.

    So when everything came into fruition, I decided to blow most of my money in my 20s on frivolous items. Of course I have nothing to show for any of it, but I also don’t regret it that much because it was a good learning experience. I was able to get it out of my system…lol

    Thankfully I curbed that habit by my mid 20s and made disciplined decisions, but hey, at least for four solid years I thoroughly enjoyed spending money :)

    Anyway, hope you’re health is much better now that you’re on your own schedule. I know money is important, but without health (or family for that matter), money becomes just paper.

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 3:21 pm

      Thanks Jeff! I hear ya on the temptations to spend in our 20s. Fortunately I didn’t have any huge purchases during mine, but I also still bought things from time to time that I really didn’t need in my early 20s. I was more easily tempted by brand names at that age for the “cool” factor, but fortunately like you, I also got it out of my system. :)

      And yes thanks, my health is doing a lot better now that I’m on my own schedule and don’t have constant work stress wearing me down everyday. Stress really did a number on me and I’m so glad those days are over.

      Reply
  23. Jim says

    September 3, 2019 at 6:19 am

    Long time lurker. First time poster. I love this. I can relate on so many levels. My wife and I are the proud parents of 3 girls. I came from a similar background. Received a state college degree and opened up an insurance business in 2003. 2010 brought downtrodden home values as the recession was still fresh and stinging. We purchased three rental properties (we are in Colorado) for pennies on the dollar. Last week, I completed a Will, Trust and Power of Attorney. My net worth financial statement read 1.725 million. My wife is a teacher and so she is eligible for PERA (Public Employee Retirement Account). We are 44. I discuss Financial Samurai daily with her on our 3 mile walks. Sam, know that you are appreciated and valued and PLEASE continue to write. I look forward to seeing your content each week!

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 8:52 am

      Thanks Jim! Great job getting your Will/Trust/POA done! I know how tedious and time consuming that process can be but it’s such a relief signing the docs when they’re all done, isn’t it? :)

      Congrats on your net worth! That is so wonderful to hear you and your wife regularly talk about FS topics on your daily walks. 3 miles is awesome too! ;)

      Reply
  24. JayCeezy says

    September 3, 2019 at 6:11 am

    Awesome. Been a reader and fan of the Family Samurai for awhile, now. You and Sam have made your own luck, and Baby Samurai is fortunate to have you as parents. Looking forward to your continued journey. As always, thanks for sharing it with us!

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 8:50 am

      Thanks JayCeezy! Great to hear from you. I recognize your name and want to say a big thanks for your long time support!

      Reply
  25. Cody says

    September 3, 2019 at 6:08 am

    While “how” couple manage their finances together is different for everyone, maintaining the faith and love and the sense of ‘team’ is key to any successful marriage! I am blessed that my wife and I have always been on the page financially, and we have educated and grown together in our financial knowledge. It would have been nice to to have the understanding we have now in our 30s back in hour 20s. Hopefully we get the kids educated right.

    Also, don’t de-value your accomplishments Bull market may have helped, but you are the one who put in the work, and made the right, tough decisions. Be proud!

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 8:48 am

      That’s wonderful to hear you and your wife are on the same page with your finances! It makes things so much easier, I agree. Thanks for your kind words!

      Reply
  26. Robin says

    September 3, 2019 at 5:56 am

    Thank you, Sydney, for telling us your story. I agree that loving money isn’t terrible– and you seem to love it for the right reasons. Freedom and the ability to help others feels better than almost anything else! And you really are brave, to pick up and move across the country as you did.

    I appreciate your advice, particularly about sitting down with your managers periodically, and so much agree with the “if you don’t ask, you don’t get”. Knowing what you know now, is there anything different you would do? Wishing you well.

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 8:39 am

      Thanks Robin. It’s funny how moving across the country didn’t scare me at all back then. Young love lead the way. :)

      Yes I do feel fortunate that I had a funny, understanding, easy going boss for most of my career. It was hard for me to sit down and talk to him in the beginning, but it got easier and easier over time. Building that relationship was one of the most important things I did in my career. He and I still keep in contact today.

      Is there anything different I would do now if I were to do it all over again? hmm. Probably self advocating earlier on and figuring out how to get a better work life balance during the really stressful periods.

      I was stubborn when I was younger and wanted to do everything by myself without asking for help even when my bosses were encouraging me to delegate tasks. My stubbornness was a perfect recipe for burnout.

      I would have also improved the way I communicated with my colleagues, subordinates and clients. As an introvert, communication has never been a natural strength of mine, so I could have done a better job of learning and practicing various communication techniques.

      Reply
  27. Mocomom says

    September 3, 2019 at 5:00 am

    Well done, Sydney! Your example can be an inspiration for so many.

    As someone whose parents were happy to pay for everything (college, law school, first work wardrobe, etc.), I was not careful with my own money.

    In my 20’s, even though I was making great money working in BigLaw, I only saved in my 401(k), and pretty much spent the rest of my salary (on renting a nice apartment, buying nice outfits, etc). It didn’t occur to me that I should save for a down payment, for example.

    I have done a complete 180 with my financial ways, thanks in part to my husband and I doing a lot of reading. We read so many topics on the Financial Samurai web site once we discovered it. We’re teaching our kids to make good decisions. My teenage son is now investing most of his income from lifeguarding this summer. :-)

    Thanks to you and Sam for all you do to encourage others. :-)

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 8:31 am

      Thanks Mocomom! That’s wonderful to hear you’ve turned your financial habits around for the better and are also sharing smart insights with your kids. High five on getting your teenager to invest some of his summer job income!!

      Reply
  28. Beth says

    September 3, 2019 at 4:54 am

    Did you help your parents pay off their portion of your student loans?

    Will your son have to pay part of his post secondary education? I was not in a position to help my children very much(lower middle class single mom and a high income father who chose not to contribute) and that has seen them behind many of their piers financially. I have a lot of mom guilt because they are still dealing with student debt.

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 8:27 am

      Hi Beth. Great questions. Yes, I did pay my parents back for their portion of my student loans. I didn’t do it until my late 20s/30s and chose to do it piece meal. Since my parents have never been great at managing money, I didn’t want to give them each a huge lump sum and then risk them blowing it all at once when they would benefit better from smaller installments. It also helped me manage my budget by sending them money a little bit at at time.

      Yes, we plan to have our son be involved with paying some of his college tuition. We haven’t decided how much, but we both like the idea of having him feel involved and responsible for his education costs as he approaches adulthood. We will also push for public colleges/universities.

      Mom guilt can be so tough but don’t be so hard on yourself! Even though you were not in a position to help your kids that much back then, you get a giant set of trophies for raising them as a single mom. That is a huge accomplishment!

      Reply
  29. Xrayvsn says

    September 3, 2019 at 4:02 am

    What a wonderful back story and it really was serendipity that brought you and Sam together.

    You are very fortunate Sam to have a wife that is able to put out content on par with your level of excellence.

    Very interesting about getting a million net worth on your own merits Sydney. So do you and Sam still continue to do separate finances/accounting? Would love to know if you combine finances now as a couple or still maintain separate net worth etc and the reason why you chose that path with benefits and cons of each way (could make for a great follow up post).

    I do find that children who have witnessed poor finances from their parents can really turn it around and have great financial success as they see mistakes made and don’t want to repeat them.

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 8:17 am

      Hi Xrayvsn. Thanks for your comment! Yes, Sam and I still continue to have our own separate accounts plus we have some joint accounts. We like the setup this way as it’s easier and more efficient.

      I know some couples feel very strongly about only having joint accounts, but for us having a combination of both has worked out really well. Great idea on doing a follow up post on this topic! I think that will be fun to write about.

      Reply
  30. Martin says

    September 3, 2019 at 3:15 am

    Thanks Mr & Mrs Samurai _ you make a great team

    Reply
    • Sydney says

      September 3, 2019 at 8:13 am

      thanks Martin :)

      Reply
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