Was there ever a time when you thought you had to do more just to get noticed? You'd put on antics, pretend to be someone you're not, and self praise one too many times when all you had to do was just be yourself.
I recently saw a scene in the show Glee that really emphasized how important it is to be yourself. It begins just after the Glee cast performed an obnoxious hair waving routine for the opposing team. The scene reminds me that simplicity, accompanied by genuineness triumphs always.
This site won't be all things to all people. If it was, we'd lose our authenticity. You'd be surprised how much backlash I get just for writing a post intended to help others. Some people get especially nasty when it comes to investing. They seem to think that their way is the only way, and that every other way is wrong. Sigh.
Forget About Everyone Else. Just Be Yourself!
People are complex. And over the years I've discovered that the people who lash out the most are the most insecure. In addition, they tend to be the most unhappy and are suffering with mental or medical demons. I think they struggle the most with being happy with who they are.
If you want to get far in life, you need a positive mindset. And you have to be true to yourself in the process. But, please be civil! It's okay to have differing opinions and beliefs. Just be gracious, respectful, and courteous of others.
Never Stop Learning About Yourself
It's really true that you are never too old to learn something knew. And this also applies to yourself! Even as well as you may think you know yourself, there could be a lot more to discover. For example, my wife discovered as a grown adult that she is autistic.
We've learned so much about neurodiversity since her self-discovery. Not only has it improved our relationship, it's also expanded our network, and made us more understanding and accepting of the growing neurodiverse community.
We certainly hope our children will grow up in an ever more diverse, accepting, and harmonious world. And a large part of that is education, awareness, and exposure.
I hope you will stick around and explore the site. There's a wealth of content right at your fingertips.
Thanks for joining our community!
Further Reading
Here's some further reading to help you on your journey.
- A Question To Ask On Valentine’s Day
- Why The World Forgives Rich And Famous People For Cheating
- How To Apologize For An Error? Martyr Yourself!
- Getting Busy This Valentine’s Weekend! (Singles Especially)
- Chaos Is an Inspiration For Change, But Don’t Wait
- Everything Is Relative Superstar – Being Happy With What You Have
For more resources check out my:
- Top financial products page to find the best products for your finances
- Invest in real estate page to invest in my favorite asset class,
- Free wealth management page to manage your money better.
Financial Samurai has been online since 2009 and is one of the most trusted and largest independently-run personal finances today.
Readers, ever catch yourself doing something that wasn't you? Why do you think you were doing that unusual thing, and why is it so hard to just be ourselves sometimes?
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Keigu,
Sam – “Slicing Through Money's Mysteries”
Some situations just have a way of changing your behavior. Most people will people will behave differently around the President than let’s say their friends.
I agree that you should always be true to yourself. But also, everything you do becomes a part of who you are, whether you believe what you do fits your character or not. I’d like to believe my true character doesn’t include some of the bad choices I’ve made, but even making those mistakes has helped formed who I am at this very moment, a sum of my experiences.
.-= Flexo´s last blog ..U.S. Mint: Making Money By Making Money =-.
OMG…Sarah Palin?! Really?! Glad I changed it then….that is me, but I am at work and no, not as a hockey mom Alaskan governor. And I can’t imagine a scenario where I would run for public office, so I guess Tina Fey won’t ever play me on SNL. Rats…
But no one likes me when I’m being myself!!
.-= Mike´s last blog ..5 Reasons the 401(k) Kicks Butt – Wait, what’s a 401(k) again? =-.
I admit I’m hooked to Glee myself – that’s a really moving part of that episode. Thanks for sharing it! Being “yourself” isn’t always easy but once you can, it’s such an incredible thing. I remember how bad middle/high school can be and how awful some people were to classmates that were different. Sometimes I think kids can be harsher than adults and I’m just glad to have that stage of life done for. I empathize for the kids going through it now.
Happy MLK to everyone too!
@Matt S.
Glad the post/video cheered you up. The video actually makes me sad with happiness, if that makes sense.
@20smoney
That would be a good bet. Do we go to Dow 20K first or Dow 6,500 first? I venture to guess 20K first, but it may take 20 years!
@Tracy
Thanks Tracy. Nice Gravatar pic! You have a little bit of Sarah Palin going on. I’m typing on a 12″ monitor, so I could be wrong :)
@Credit Card Chaser
I think advertisers and affiliate business really sways some writers. I’m playing around with the various ad platforms now, and it is VERY eye-opening the various offers out there. I can see why some continue to focus on one product or another. I’ll be posting something on Advertising soon enough. I’m motivated to make some money for someone more deserving.
I just love Glee! And authenticity is often something we have to grow into…like humility. Great post Sam.
@admin
Hehe.. I’m not saying we’re going back to last March’s lows! Altho there is a part of me that thinks so. The other part says, hey, if you print enough money, we can get this thing to Dow 20k by end of year! :)
.-= 20smoney´s last blog ..Important Reads – Jan 18, 2010 =-.
I think that this is great advice for a personal blog as well because unless you run a corporate blog or a news blog then your goal shouldn’t be to try and please everyone and stay neutral on everything but to speak your mind and take a side no matter how controversial. Which you are definitely not afraid to do and that is something that I definitely like about this blog! :) – Joel
.-= Credit Card Chaser´s last blog ..Are Credit Card Companies Evil if They Don’t Waive Fees on Haiti Donations? =-.
Guys. It’s been a bad few days… and this cheered me up.
Sometimes, it’s good to step back, hang out, and realize the things you have are much more important than the things that have you.
But, that Imagine song. It’s a commie thing, right?
.-= Matt S.´s last blog ..The First Step of Freedom is Economic Freedom =-.
@Rob Bennett
“Pleasing others is part of what most others are”… I must agree! Maybe the most basic form is pleasing our parents, and sometimes bending to what they want us to be.
@Investor Junkie
Thank goodness for the internet. I remember back in 1997, I thought Yahoo was the internet!
@Money Funk
Agreed, in the long run, our fake me’s don’t stand a chance.
@The Genius
Hmm, I’m actually OK with acting the part too sometimes, but not all the times if the ends is a greater good. Sometimes, maybe we’re just not that affable, and we need to do pretend.
It’s part of our genetic makeup. We are inherently social creatures and want to be liked by others. IMHO the beauty of the Internet it has made it much easier to find people of similar interest and bond with them. Lets say you like croshaying in the nude, I’m sure there is a forum out there that discusses this.
Group think is something that can be a big issue. Could be said one of the reasons for the housing and dot-bomb bubble.
.-= Investor Junkie´s last blog ..Weekend Reading for January 16, 2010 =-.
Thanks for sharing this Sam! It’s a great show, and amazing how it’s able to attract a wide range of audiences. That’s my favorite clip as well.
Maybe we’re all actors on a world stage. We need to do things that isn’t us, b/c we recognize the means to the end is just the means. If our goal is to retire earlier than normal, it’s OK to pretend enjoying the job you hate doing because you don’t lose site of the end. I think that’s why.
.-= The Genius´s last blog ..Three W&M students unharmed in Haiti =-.
@David @ MBA briefs
David, why are you at work?! At least you get to surf the net though :) Watch the video when you come home tonight. It helps hammer home the point completely, so I don’t have to.
Will check out that link. thnx.
Can’t watch the video at work, but I get the gist of your question. I find myself acting uncharacteristically based on the situation, but never to get attention. My natural tendency is to be like Monevator and do whatever the in-crowd isn’t doing. When I find myself doing that unusual thing its because I’m trying to play a role, like if I’m in uniform and had to counsel someone I’d be playing The Major, whereas if I was in the same situation as a civilian I would probably have handled the situation completely differently. Frankly, I think it’s exhausting trying to be someone you’re not.
20s Money brings up a good point, and reminds me of a book I read from the Gallup Management Journal called “Now Discover Your Strengths” (more info here which is about improving yourself by focusing on your strengths and not your weaknesses. Easier said than done, and I still struggle to not obsess over my weaknesses.
.-= David @ MBA briefs´s last blog ..How to analyze stocks like a pro – part 5 =-.
It’s hard to be yourself for the best of reasons. We love other people and we want to make them happy. So we do stuff that we sense makes them happy, even though it represents a denial of our true selves.
I agree that we need to be ourselves. But pleasing others is part of what most of us are. So the real trick is finding a balance between our individualism and our desire for friendship and community closeness to others.
Rob
.-= Rob Bennett´s last blog ..Podcast #197 — The Logic of Buy-and-Hold =-.
@Monevator
You make a good point about how we see things when we get older. Middle school and High School is often times rough for many of us in the US, b/c we needed to be popular and fit in. As older adults, it’s fun to look back and laugh at that time period. Now, we just do whatever we want and it feels great. Although, maybe not all of us, and hence the saying of “keeping up with the Joneses”.
@20smoney
Confidence is something that not everybody is blessed with. It would be great if we all developed this feeling of fortitude. BTW, no way is the stock market going back to last March’s lows!
Agreed. Don’t spend energy on becoming something you’re not. Spend energy on improving areas of your life and be confident in being yourself!
.-= 20smoney´s last blog ..Is The Stock Market Bottom Still To Come? =-.
Perhaps the only true consolation of growing older is you become more comfortable with yourself, more confident to be yourself, and far less concerned with what other people think.
I was never that bothered about what other people thought about me and have never gone along with the in-crowd, but sometimes I used to think it was my problem. Then for a while I thought it was their problem, whereas now I know it’s almost never a problem in the grand scheme of things.