You Will Always Regret Sacrificing Love For Money

Money is great. Money provides freedom. But you will always regret sacrificing love for money. When you get older, you will realize how true this statement really is if you haven't found someone.

Life is simply not as fun if you don't have someone to share it with. Further, finding “the one” might also want you to start a family. Not that everybody should have kids. Just know finding love is a huge catalyst for wanting to bring life on Earth.

Here's a story from my friend about her regrets sacrificing love for money and career. Before you make any decision, go through a regret minimization exercise to help you make better choices.

You Will Always Regret Sacrificing Love For Money

My old boss, let's call her Lana, who is now my friend, invited me to her house party. It wasn't her house, but her new boyfriend's house. I was thrilled for her because, at 54, she had gone most of her post-college life without a steady boyfriend.

She graduated with honors from Columbia University and then received her MBA from Dartmouth. For the next 30 years, she worked 60+ hours a week to climb the ranks at Goldman Sachs, Deutsche Bank, and then Morgan Stanley.

In 2002, at age 37, she made Managing Director and continues to be a big wig on Wall Street today. I wouldn't be surprised if she regularly clears at least $1.25 million dollars a year.

When I first met Lana, she was the most focused and intense woman I had ever met.

Even after going through 50+ interviews with various people on the floor and interviewing with her twice, she still wanted to interview me one last time over coffee. She was meticulous. She also correctly suspected I was a misfit who might not fit the firm's culture.

Although she grilled me like a wagyu burger, we became friends. I think our common heritage helped us connect.

Never Could Quite Find Love Early

She would tell me about her ski trips to Whistler or to the Swiss Alps where she randomly met some guy. She always beamed with joy when she talked about her encounters.

Every time she told me of her adventures, she'd shed her image of the hard-charging Vice President and become like a school girl falling in love for the first time.

After one trip, I remember her telling me she'd met a Tunisian gentleman, whom I immediately started referring to him as “The Tasmanian,” an ode to the Tasmanian Devil who had swept her off her feet. She was thrilled.

Unfortunately, that relationship lasted for only six months because it was too hard to maintain a long-distance relationship.

Finally Found Someone To Love

When I caught up with Lana at her new boyfriend's house party, she told me she was finally happy. I asked her if she could rewind time back to when we first met in 1999 what would she do differently.

She responded, “I would have absolutely focused as hard on my love life as I did on my career. I was so focused on making Managing Director as a female person of color that I overly sacrificed my personal life. Once I made Managing Director, I felt like I had to work even harder to prove my worth. As you know, the higher you go in finance, the more at risk you are of being cut.

Lana went on, “I have all the money I will ever need. But for about 20 years, I didn't have anybody close to share it with. It felt pointless working so much. Yes, I was able to spoil my mother by taking her out to the nicest restaurants and bring her on amazing vacations, but it's different you know? I would be willing to give up all of my wealth just to have found someone like my current boyfriend 20 years ago.”

I Spent Too Much Time Working Too

I told Lana that I empathized with her situation. I, too, was overly focused on my career in my 20s and early 30s. I was so focused on getting promoted that I sacrificed my happiness and health. At least with Lana, she made Managing Director. I did not.

Because of my career focus, I didn't propose to my girlfriend until 10 years after I met her. I couldn't propose without feeling like I was on the right career path or had enough money to provide for a family.

Given I proposed so late, we only had our first child in 2017, 19 years after our first meeting! Talk about taking the scenic route to starting a family.

I went from one extreme of working intense hours for 13 years to another extreme of leaving work behind so young. Having a more balanced work / love life probably would have been better.

If I had more balance, I wouldn't have felt such a great need to retire ASAP. However, life was a little different back then. Instead of being able to play pickleball for three hours during the middle of a weekday, I had to be in the office and grind.

In retrospect, I regret focusing so much on money and career. If I hadn't, I would have had the COURAGE to have a baby in my early 30s instead of at 39.

The Different Types Of Love

You Will Regret Sacrificing Love For Money Almost All Of The Time

Love is complicated because there are so many different types of love. I think there are six types of love we feel.

The first type of love is the love you feel for your parents and siblings. This is a default love because y'all are forced together. Some of us develop incredibly tight relationships with our parents and siblings.

The second type of love is the love that you feel for your friends. You love hanging out with them. You sometimes tease them because you care. You wish them all the success in the world because their wins feel like your wins.

The third type of love is the love you feel for your first boyfriend or girlfriend. Some might call it lust. This type of love is thrilling and sometimes addicting. We all know people who have fallen in love with falling in love.

The fourth type of love is an extremely deep love once you've found your soulmate. This is the person you share all your secrets with at pillow time. You not only trust this person with your life, but you're also willing to sacrifice yourself for him or her.

The fifth type of love is the joyous love you have for your children. Your children give you more pride than anything else in the world. Your children motivate you to become a better person. As a parent, you constantly think about teachable moments and their future well-being. Children bring about a love you never knew existed.

The final type of love is spiritual love. It is an undefined love in something more powerful that provides hope, purpose, and comfort.

So Many Types Of Love To Feel!

With at least six different types of love, it makes absolute sense to focus at least an equal amount of time on love as we do on our careers and our pursuit of wealth. Sacrificing love for money is suboptimal as you get older.

Yes, there is also a love for prestige, money and status. But if we focus too much on career and money, we become unbalanced. We start feeling empty because we start wondering what is the damn point of working so much?

Although I realize this, I've also found it extremely hard to quit the money. Once you have a family to provide for, there is an inherent desire to earn and accumulate more to protect them.

If hard work is no longer enough to get ahead, having a lot of money can sure help cushion the frustrations.

Sometimes You'll Waste Your Time

Everlasting love is not guaranteed. Divorces happen all the time. It takes constant work because we tend to take the people we love for granted. We'll also sometimes make a mistake and end up in a terrible relationship. But the search is worth it.

Just because you are alone now does not mean you will be alone forever. Like anything worth doing, you've got to put in the effort to combat loneliness. You can't just expect love to serendipitously find you. It's worth guarding against a lonely existence.

As I come to the end of this post, I realize I need to spend more time improving my relationships with my mother, my sister, a couple of friends, and with myself.

Over the past 10 years, I've spent way too much time focusing on building wealth for my family and my readers. An adjustment will be made.

In the past, my biggest struggle today was being satisfied with enough. Today, I feel overwhelmed with having too much.

I do know one thing. It's never too late to find someone special.

Related post about sacrificing love for money:

The Curse Of Making Too Much Money And Not Pursuing Your Dreams

If You Love Your Spouse, You'd Make them Financially Independent

Reader Questions And Suggestions

Readers, did you overly focus on your career and money to the detriment of your love life and the love you have for others? Do you know someone sacrificing love for money? How do you go about balancing love and money? How have you been able to find ways to love yourself and your life more?

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About The Author

67 thoughts on “You Will Always Regret Sacrificing Love For Money”

  1. I was focused on finding a husband, starting a family, raising children to the point that O left the work force to spend more time with young children. I never for a second thought if my career even though I was a national honor student, won prizes, scholarships, and got a master degree. 6 years into staying at home, I wasn’t happy, I had a wake call and deeply regretted that I didn’t develop a profession of my own. So now I’m back to the office starting over and extremely happy that I finally saw the light. Everyone needs an occupation. Family, love can’t replace that.

    1. Different strokes for different folks. I decided to stay at home and 15 years later I have no regret but I respect your decision and those who have the opportunity to make a choice.

    2. Varies by person. My wife started out like the lady in the attached but quickly hated corporate America and decided to be a homemaker instead and has loved it a lot more, with far less stress – she bowed out at 30. Personally, I just think a balanced life is better for most people but if you are happy, who cares what others think?

  2. I feel so lucky to have a balance of love and wealth. Mrs. RB40 and I have our ups and downs, but we’re a team. That’s the secret, IMO. You have to be on the be the same team. Us against the world!

  3. Sam I think being and falling in love is more difficult like everything on the coasts…life in California or NYC is so complicated, competitive and expensive that it drains away so much. I think love is easier to find in an area where you don’t have to spend half your life to afford to buy a house and park your car!

  4. Yes, so many types of love! And each one is so important to a fulfilling life over the years in so many different ways. I didn’t understand this much at all when I was young. But the way you describe it is spot on.

    Taking a chance on love also definitely takes courage. A good friend of mine had a lot of short relationships during her 20s and 30s and is still single in her 40s. She’s not a big fan of online dating, but I encouraged her to at least give it a try while also still trying to meet someone the more traditional way (through friends or meetups). She wasn’t going to even bother trying before I talked to her. But hopefully now she’ll keep more options open and make a connection with someone this year.

    I hope this year brings stronger relationships for everyone in friendships, spouses, SOs, parents, kids, relatives, colleagues, neighbors etc. Connecting with people really brings light and happiness into our lives.

  5. Circumstances of upbringing are so critical.Those children raised in a stable functional family have such a head start over the rest of us
    They have successful example to emulate so that if a different or unusual path is chosen the consequences will be clear and obvious
    I was lucky (now 76) to find a like minded partner at 18-married at 23 and still together
    Luck does play a large part -accidents,illness can throw things in a serious loop
    As I age with now with 3 married children and eight grandchildren I often quote to 10 commandments to the grand kids as good rules to live by
    My wife and I am not religious though all her family are Church Ministers,Bishops etc but my reasoning is that a set of rules for life honed over many hundreds of years are more likely to be right than one person’s particular current “take” and if things go wrong no complaints to grandpa if problems have been caused by breaking one of these rules!
    I particularly enjoy pointing out how hard it is to make the relationship of a man and women to work-in fact so much so that 2 of the commandments specifically refer to this particular conundrum
    Probably those lucky enough to have this stable upbringing also learn as a consequence to get money and it’s ramifications in proportion
    Money is like oil in the engine-you certainly need enough of it but if the engine is broken no amount of oil will save it

  6. Love your descriptions of different phases and types of love. Love is a wonderful and powerful emotion but it is also a controlling emotion. I tend to relate to it in the animal kingdom, for example some birds enter a monogamous relationship for life! I think seahorses and some fish do the same. Love can make you do some crazy things in the name of reproduction! For example just think of Penguins traveling miles and miles in the arctic to get food and then bring it back for their offspring. It can be crazy. Love can also make people blind to issues and overlook problems. These are some of the drawbacks, but the amazing positives are the good feelings, especially that high school crush or sweetheart, that initial surge is amazing. To each their own how you mix it in with life and love. We are complex creatures!

  7. Fille Frugale

    Awesome post, Sam! In my case, as a middle-aged FIREd woman who grew up in an abusive, traditional household (dad worked and controlled the money, mom was a SAHM with no power) I never wanted to be in my mom’s situation and ever depend on anyone. So I prioritized work big time. Now I’m financially comfortable but still single, and I do get lonely at times. But I plan to start dating again, so not all is lost (your former boss’ example is inspiring!), and even if it’s been hard I definitely do not regret my decision. Women who depend 100% on their husband’s income really take a risk – even if the guy is the best ever, nobody can be certain he won’t be hit by the proverbial bus tomorrow.

    1. Thank you for sharing your story!

      “ I never wanted to be in my mom’s situation and ever depend on anyone.”

      I commend you for your strength and your discipline to become financially independent, and not have to depend on anyone.

      “ Women who depend 100% on their husband’s income really take a risk – even if the guy is the best ever, nobody can be certain he won’t be hit by the proverbial bus tomorrow.”

      Yes ma’am. I think you’ll enjoy a couple of these posts. Maybe I will republish them as well:

  8. I work hard, because as a blind individual, I never know when I’ll need a good financial reserve. I don’t want to run the risk of losing my job and finding myself dependent on anyone. My partner thinks I work hard at the expense of the relationship, but the rent won’t pay itself. Nannies don’t come free, and someone’s got to put food on the table in one of the country’s most expensive metropolitans. I think it’s a little easier to become reflective on love being more important when you’ve got a comfortable cushion to fall on. Until then, you have to keep grinding.

    1. That’s a good point. And it’s hard to step back from the grind and look at the bigger picture when you’re in it.

      The good thing about your partner, too hard at the expense of your relationship is they can work harder to let you work less hard. What do you think about that compromise?

      1. I have had tax clients that remained single their whole life, and don’t regret it. They have said they could not support someone else, kids are too expensive these days, etc. These are the exceptions. However, the exceptions are growing because of the rate of increases of health insurance. Best to be healthy, wealthy, and wise. Ben Franklin. If you look at Franklin’s history, he did not have a good marriage and actually disinherited a son. Excellent newsletters.

        1. The one thing unmarried couples need to be aware of is not being able to get their partners Social Security benefits, if something were to happen. So strategically, it may be wise to get married in retirement.

            1. Why would you say that? Let’s say a couple loves each other and doesn’t marry to save $20,000 a year in marriage penalty tax. After 30 years, that’s $600,000. And then if they strategically marry before one dies, the survivor gets SS benefits for life. That’s smart to me.

              Are you single?

  9. Call me Phoebe

    What would you say to an early 30s female who hasn’t found love yet?
    Keep living with parents in suburbs to save up money for a down payment for SF Bay Area, or move to the city for better social life (but more expenses)?

    After years of roommates (before moving back with parents), I don’t think I can do the roommate route anymore. Career is fine (think banking, consulting, tech, etc), but could be better if I hustled + networked more. Financial independence is something I dream of, but I am worried about loneliness.

    1. I feel for you Phoebe, and you are right to be thinking about how you evolve. I am in the Bay area as well and thank my stars I met my wife back down in Socal in my early 20s – meeting people up here these days is a way differnt ballgame. Our friend’s son, late 20s, just got married to a girl he met online – I guess that’s what people do these days. Another guy at my golf club met his wife and prior 2 girlfriends at the gym/tennis club. I would advise you keep that close relationship with your parents and save the money if the situation is cool for you and them, while continuing to expand your social and activity engagements until you meet the right person. More interactions = more opportunities. It will happen.

  10. I made this mistake, and I may regret it for life. My soulmate appeared at 31 years old, and my entrepreneurial aspirations along with my technical career were really taking off, and I thought that I needed to put all my focus on that. I realized soon after that I had made a mistake and she was quickly engaged to someone else.

  11. I’m the opposite. I have focused on my love life and let finding a career fall to the wayside. I’m 28 and I’m still in college all because I have always believed love is more important than money. I’m still living at home too, and I’m still single. So I don’t know if you want to be like me, the woman who put love before everything else, or like your Asian friend who put everything else before love. Either way, it looks like neither of us is happy

  12. I’m currently a 35 yr old stay at home mom of 2 and surprisently pregnant with #3. I don’t regret giving up my job for love/family at all. Unfortunately you can’t have it all, when trying to catch 2 rabbits you will end up with neither. My husband and I have very traditional gender roles and it works. My life is very fulfilling being able to raise my kids everyday instead of paying a nanny or daycare to do it for me. It has worked put financially also. We are ” regular people” my husband is a union firefighter and I’m a hobby Ebay reseller. We have a paid off mortgage, each child had a 529 plan, fully funded retirements, 1.5 years of emergency funds, pension plan, the best free health and dental insurance…..what more do we need to be content?

  13. “I would absolutely trade all my wealth to have my family” is so, so true, Sam. I still remember quite vividly a night about 4 years ago when I was putting my son to bed (soon after my daughter was born), and as I was looking ahead to 5-7 years of intense work that would almost certainly produce a hefty payout — but would *quite* certainly require very long hours and much travel. I clearly saw my future self, wishing he could trade that hefty payout to get those years back with his kids. I can always make more money, but I can never make more time with my family. Thanks for sharing your own story, Sam.

  14. I am in my mid 20’s and I literally cannot stop thinking about making more money or building more wealth. It is unhealthy, but I can’t help it. I need to find the right balance between ambition and complacency, or “enough” as you put it. Stray too far one way and you’ll be rich, alone and miserable, stray the other way and you’ll feel unfulfilled, likely “poor”, and miserable. Have to find the middle ground.

  15. Totally believe in that its worth the search with the caveat that not everyone has the character to be in a good relationship. If you can’t give up being selfish, your partner will suffer. In that case, both parties are better off living the single life.

  16. Good article and a good perspective. I appreciate getting your side of this debate. I’m hoping I can present a counterpoint. What about Mark Cuban (Dallas Mavericks billionaire) who told his ex-girlfriend when she said “it’s either me or the business” he replied “what was your name again?” He chose money over love.

    Does that mean he doesn’t have love? No. He is now married, 3 kids, and his wife happily accepts that his business will take precedence over her (her words).

    I don’t think people *always* regret taking money over love.

  17. Being alone can be the kindest thing

    I am somewhat torn here. I married and was divorced from my high school sweetheart by 23. I had zero interest in the opposite sex for at least 10 years thereafter. Went to grad school, got a job, and starting grinding for The Man. Now I am 39 with a ~$2.5M net worth and an insanely demanding job. Friday nights, I go straight from my desk to bed (even at 7pm) because the work week just drains me.

    My parents both have serious medical problems and no money; one lives in a home that I own outright and the other is in assisted living that I pay for. Anybody who has had a relative in assisted living knows that tons of involvement and supervision is required to ensure your loved one is properly cared for. My generous salary can barely keep up with all the expenses. I can’t afford to make less. I do not have job mobility because I live in a company town and my skills are highly specialized. Relocation opportunities are limited to places that are even more expensive to live, especially given my parents’ highly specialized medical needs.

    No partner would sign up to share this life, so here I am single. I have dated infrequently in recent years and it was a big sticking point that I didn’t have the disposable cash to indulge the desires of my romantic interests nor the time to take them on lavish vacations. Oh and I am a woman.

    Sometimes I am overcome with loneliness but then I remember how awful my short marriage was. My ex-husband wanted to control every dollar I spent, and he was angry when I got a promotion and salary that exceeded his.

    I am happy and grateful that I can provide for myself and take care of my loved ones. I hope my parents live a long time yet, but if and when they go then I will take stock of what is left. Maybe I will be in good shape financially and otherwise, though not by Lana’s standards I’m sure. My needs are simple and at this point I am so glad to be childless. Maybe this is a terribly selfish thing, but after parenting my own parents and taking care of one like my child (taking them to toilet, dressing, feeding, etc.). I just want to take care of me a little before I lose my own capabilities.

    At my age I know I’ll be unlikely to find someone to love. But if I had prioritized love, I would have been financially unable to take care of my family or potentially ruined the life of a potential partner/children by subjecting them to all this.

  18. Dr. Remoulak

    Hey Sam -sorry if I missed it (had to give this a quick skim before jumping on a flight), but does this mean you’ve changed your thinking on finding a full time job and the need for another $1.5M in net worth gain over the next couple years?

  19. I spent the earlier part of my career focusing specifically on it and less on my wife. There was a lot of time we could have spent together where I was more about making money and excelling at work. I think it hurt the relationship for sure.

    Years later, we spend a lot of time together and my work is secondary.

    What’s money if you have no one to spend it with? Sounds sappy, but I think it’s true.

  20. Hudson Yardsssss Broo

    ‘Always regret,’ really? Hallmark card, Hollywood agitprop?

    What if my WORK is my love?

    Single gay man living it up in Hell’s Kitchen, where nearly every relationship is open (even straights) and we’re upfront about it.

    That’s why the infidelity rate is about 90% (straight or gay, she’s probably banging your neighbor), and the divorce rate is over 50%.

    A lot of people “think” they want love with someone forever, but if you dig a little more, they really just settled or want to forget the pain of being rejected by that person they were madly in love with (that crazy torrid primal love) that can never compare to the “secure love,” you’ve assimilated to due to cultural/societal expectations.

    I prefer to be madly, deeply in love with someone new.. just every 4-6 months or so, with bouts of enjoyable singledom in between.

    While I appreciate this post (and love the blog) this post is quite reductive in assuming everyone aspires for this, given we go through many chapters in life.

    1. So you’re in love with falling in love. I’m assuming you’re 28 years old simply haven’t found someone to settle down with.

      I think you’re gonna look back at this time. As an empty waste for most of the time.

      Will keep on doing you! Gay promiscuity is extremely high because of the natural delay in sexual activity do you society norms and fears in high school and college.

      FYI, It’s hard to regret things when you’re still wrong because you have no idea about life yet.

      1. DLO,

        Haa haa,you need to get out and talk to peeps outside your own circle.
        Fyi 59yr old, single and hetero.I’ll take my goals and my path.Retiring @62,very good chance Ill pull off the impossible.
        Money buys freedom and time, the wrong relationship can cost you one or both.Thats not spoken from a position of fear and loss(although I’ve felt both), but experience and perspective….

  21. Wonderful post! Especially like the ‘types of love’ described, and reader comments.

    A thought: we all want to be loved for ‘ourselves’. The problem with that is we are not the same person at 25-and-broke, that we become in later years where (hopefully) we become more financially secure and personally responsible/accomplished/interesting. Time doesn’t stand still, so the snapshot-in-time feeling is bound to change.

    ‘Adding value’ is an obligation for both parties, in any ‘love relationship’. An attractive mate is ‘social proof’ to the other, showing the rest of the world they can pull tail that is worth showing off, or has resources to live in a nice zip code. When that balance-of-power shifts too greatly (letting one’s appearance go, losing a job, large inheritance, visible self-improvement, etc.) the relationship is up for renegotiation. So keep adding value, show respect, and demand the same from your mate!

    Happy for Lana, and pretty sure her “new boyfriend” (with a Bay Area house) isn’t changing oil at Jiffy Lube, or stocking shelves at Rite Aid. They have been a bad match 20 years ago. Wishing her, and all Financial Samurai readers, happiness, love, and contentment this Valentine’s Day weekend.

      1. Overworking. Two of my law school classmates killed themselves within the last six months. For decades, they had money. In their late sixties, they ran out of money. They were ashamed.

      2. Love is an illusion. Some people find it and lot don’t. Loving humans bring nothing but pain and disappointment, whether spouse, family or children.
        Most important is love with inner peace and tranquility

  22. Great article and the only one I read on your blog so far #newreader
    I took a different road in life so far. I am 28 right now, married and our 2nd child will be born in 05.2020. I never cared about my carrer, met my wife at age 20 and we got married in 2017. My wife had 50$ when i met her and no job. I was flipping burgers at McDonalds. Fast forward to today, we have now saved a little bit over 100k and i work full time from home and can support her with our kid(s). Wouldn’t change anything if I could go back in time. #Liveofmylife


  23. Reverse The Crush

    Great post, Sam! I like how you described the different types of love. I have noticed many people putting their careers ahead of love. Personally, I think I did the opposite early on. I focused too much on love and not enough on my career path and education. Fortunately it all worked out career wise, but those early relationships did not, probably because I lacked balance. Thanks for the read!

  24. SolitaryMan

    I’d rather be alone and financially independent (through hard work, saving, and Sacrifice) than marry a financially-poor woman who only knows how to spend, Spend, SPEND!

    Love is a crippling emotion that will lead you off a cliff if you’re not careful.
    Never forget our civilization is based around the all-mighty dollar which you need to survive along with food, water, & oxygen.

    I’m middle-aged and I still maintain that I have made the right decisions in life.

    And please don’t give us any more Bible quotes. Or I’ll quote Harry Potter!

    1. Hmmm, perhaps most people would too. But why give up on finding someone great? Life is so much better when there’s someone to spend it with.

      Sorry you got burned. However, I say keep looking!

      1. Exactly! And what about marrying a woman that IS financially-rich who does know how to spend, live and love??

        You can either look at a glass of water as half full or half empty. How do you really see the world?

        As Sam said, keep looking!

  25. The way you described all the different types of love is so true. I remember reading something that referred to how there are so many different types of love when I was growing up and I just couldn’t grasp what that meant. Now that I’ve grown up and have become a parent I completely understand how very true that is. I’m glad to hear your old boss was able to find love! I feel very blessed to have so much love in my life and try to cherish every day in as many ways as I can. <3

  26. Devotional image from Rick Warren

    “Godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it” (1 Timothy 6:6-7 NIV).

    God is far more interested in your character than your comfort. He wants you to grow up and become more like Jesus. His focus is on your attitude, not on making your life easy. He’s watching to see if you think having more will make you happier or if you’ve learned to be content with what he has provided for you.

    The Bible says, “Godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it” (1 Timothy 6:6-7 NIV).

    When you learn to be content, you are believing that God knows what you need better than you do and trusting that he will give you the necessary wisdom to make good financial decisions.

    Most people get caught into “when” thinking: “When I get this, then I’ll be happy.” When you get a certain job, when you retire, when you get the house paid off, when all the bills are paid—and on and on.

    But God knows that if you aren’t content already, you’ll always want something else when you get there. Somebody supposedly once asked billionaire Howard Hughes how much it takes to be happy, and he said, “Just a little more.”

    You can spend your entire life focused on money—trying to make it, earn it, save it, spend it, and use it. So God uses finances as the acid test of how much you trust him. When you have a need, he wants you to ask and learn to be content so that your happiness doesn’t depend on how much or how little you’ve got.

    Contentment is not something that comes naturally for anyone. It’s something you have to practice every day. You have to remind yourself that God is taking care of you and will provide everything you need. You have to choose to love and appreciate what you already have.

    If you don’t learn contentment, you’ll always want more. But once you learn to be content, you’ll find joy greater than anything on earth could provide.

    PLAY today’s audio teaching from Pastor Rick >>

    Talk About It

    What is something you’re working for that you think will make you happier?
    Where does your joy come from?
    What is one practical way you can focus more on contentment each day?

    1. Given you are quoting a hypocritically rich preacher, you can’t expect too many to take you seriously. God hardly needs a jet (Creflo Dollar) or money, yet these parasites (Jimmy Swaggart) take from the poorest and enrich themselves (I saved the worst for last – the one who was actually caught being a fraud, Peter Popoff). Jesus would be facepalming right now if you could see him. So don’t quote rich, religious hypocrites who claim that money doesn’t matter. After all, they were told this already: “Sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” (Mt 19:21) I don’t see them doing this…

  27. I am proud of you–you are pursuing the difference between being rich and being wealthy. You are going to be a worthy father.

  28. Christine Minasian

    What a great post and story!!!! Loved it. As a middle aged educated woman, I chose marriage and kids (SAHM after 15 years of corporate life) over a successful and crazy career. Once in a while I say to myself…”what if, maybe I should’ve climbed that corporate ladder, etc”. It’s so nice to hear a true story of someone who is honest. As many spiritual leaders have said….”full stop…love trumps all”. Happy Valentine’s Day Sam. Keep up the great work!

    1. Cool beans. It’s funny, but I don’t give a damn about my past career. I mean, who really cares that I was a Director at XYZ investment bank. It means nothing to me, and doesn’t mean anything to anybody.

      What are we really doing at the end of the day? We’ve got to do something purposeful.. otherwise, there’s no point.

  29. This is an important concept that I hope people don’t take for granted, especially given today is Valentine’s Day! My story is similar to yours. I’ve spent over a decade working for an investment bank, and while the work is often rewarding (financially and personally) the toll it takes on your personal life is quite real. I also delayed marriage and children in hopes of advancing my career before embarking on that path (I’ve gotten to the Director level myself… I’ll update you if I ever make MD lol). I was born in Eastern Europe and realized the immense luck it took to find myself in the seat I was in. I was determined to be successful.

    My world view was shattered a few months after my first child was born and we discovered he had an incurable brain condition. I’ll never forget the call I was having with a client to talk about a charity fundraiser we were running where I broke down and said I spent my entire life working to create a better financial life for my children that I would have gladly bankrupted myself for a chance at a cure for his condition. Money can fix many problems in life, but it will never come close to the happiness a happy, healthy family will bring you.

    By the way, I’ve been a long time reader and have really enjoyed your blog. Best of luck in 2020 and beyond.

  30. In my little experience in life (haven’t hit 40 yet) I’ve found that love for people is the most joyful and rewarding kind of love. My best memories, so far, have nothing to do with earning money and everything to do with people I spent quality time with. I know several multimillionaires in my community and they often times look lost/alone/sad/confused.

    I feel like balancing love and money is about balancing your time accordingly….and tipping the scale towards love. :-)

  31. My wife and I fell in love and got engaged in college. I had a great career and when we started having kids she chose to be a sahm. If you find the right partner never put off marriage. That’s like buying the power ball winning lottery ticket and deciding to wait a few months to cash it in. Love matters most. Happily married almost 42 years and counting. We did have to wait until she graduated college. One of her sisters didn’t and never finished, so her daddy made her promise!

    1. I agree about the right partner equivalent to winning a lottery. It is amazing.. and I feel very fortunate to have found my wife in college. For her, I am forever indebted to The College of William & Mary!

  32. Thanks Sam. I haven’t had as much time to read every post (I usually do!), and I am trying to find love this year for sure! Trying to get everything in order.

    I think people need to make sure they are in a positive place (mentally, emotionally, financially) and then should absolutely focus on finding a healthy, loving relationship. Years back when I was just graduating college, I didn’t make much money, still lived at my parents’ house, and wasn’t very happy. I moved out and make so much more money and I’m living a life I want (city of my choice, traveling, etc.)!

    I agree with you that people shouldn’t become so obsessed with their careers that they forget about love, but at the end of the day people are on different life paths and no one knows how their life will turn out. Some people die, get divorced, etc. I am trying to stay positive and not compare myself to anyone because you don’t know what will happen.

    Hopefully the perfect man will come along now to help. =) Happy 2020! ♥️

  33. I remember being in Fort Lauderdale a couple of years ago and seeing a giant yacht with the name “Never Enough”. It made me realize that our own goal setting is a never ending game because achieving our goals doesn’t provide lasting happiness. Even for people wealthy enough to have a huge yacht, there is always a bigger, better yacht.

    Right now I have a goal to reach a net worth of $600,000, but when I get there it will no doubt increase. I realize these targets are moving and am trying to focus on the now as well as the future.

    I can’t imagine reaching all my financial goals only to realize I missed out on some great years. Even worse, having no one to share it with.

    1. Yeah, it’s a never ending struggle to accumulate more wealth AND be satisfied with what you have. Unfortunately, I think there’s a high probability that once you get to $600,000, you’ll want to next shoot for $1 million. It never ends.

      But maybe, it’s easier to end once you reach the estate tax limit at the time per person. Making more is pointless due to a 40% death tax.

    2. Great article Sam. I’m in my late 20s and while still living up the bachelor life I too realize life’s not all about money. I followed Dave Ramsey’s get out of debt plan and while it worked(really fast) , money is just money. Currently I only have a net worth of ~ 48k but am thinking about traveling and enjoying my life before getting back to the workgrind! Keep up the great work!

      1. Landal Hudlow

        If you are in your late 20s and figured out that Dave Ramsey’s plan really works (because it does) then you’re way ahead of the game. There’s a peace in having financial freedom that allows you to focus on other areas of your life. Great job.

      2. Great comment. I took a number of years off when I was young and poor, in order to travel and do exactly what I wanted to do. The downside to this, of course, is that I was not saving for the future. The upside was that I learned more about who I was and what I wanted out of life. So when I did return to work (and worked very, very hard for many years) it was because I wanted to. And I didn’t feel like I missed out on other experiences, because I had already done so much.

        What I did not have, which you seem to possess, is a knowledge of what it takes to succeed financially. Took me years to figure that out. Kudos to you, and good luck on balancing your personal and financial lives.

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