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Searching For Love And A Little More Money

Updated: 04/02/2021 by Financial Samurai 57 Comments

Are you bored at work, searching for love and a little more money? Oh, the monotony of it all! Imagine clocking in, day in and day out with really no change to your job. You’ve got little risk of getting fired. And in 10 years you’ll retire with several million to last you a lifetime. But, in the back of your mind, you wish you didn’t have job security because you despise boredom. At the same time, you realize you’ve got it made and shouldn’t be so spoiled in your thinking.

One day a headhunter gives you a ring asking if you want an opportunity to make 50% more money a year, guaranteed for two years. The catch? You’ll be working for a startup with no such promises of job security after year two. You’ll also have to move to a different city where the cost of living is also 25% higher. The hours and stress will most certainly more as well. So forget about searching for love for a while. Welcome to Kathy’s world.

10 Years Down, 10 Years Left To Go

Kathy is a brilliant woman with an equally brilliant resume. She graduated #8 in her class of 6,000 from Berkeley and did a stint at Oxford as a Rhodes Scholar. What drove her during her twenties was her unquenchable thirst for knowledge. Everything she did was to answer a why or a how. How can we increase inventory turnover to improve revenue? Why are competitors expanding in the northern region while reducing capacity in the south?

A week before she turned 30, however, something happened. She stopped wishing to learn how to do things better. Instead, she began searching for love and thinking about starting a family. Despite all the progress women have made, she still feels that no matter how far she climbs, there’s a void without a man to share her life with. This was 3 years ago. She’s still searching for love.

Climbing The Ladder While Searching For Love

At 33, she’s sadly still alone. Her ex-boyfriend broke up with her largely because she spends too much time at work.  He would tell her that working more than 60 hours a week isn’t healthy. She realizes it’s unhealthy, but as a Senior Vice President, she has responsibilities that cannot be shirked. What really irks the ex-boyfriend is Kathy’s workplace seniority and far superior earnings.

Kathy makes up her mind that she will be retired in 10 years at 43. She hopes that within a couple years she can find someone to start a family with. But, she’s not forcing the issue. She strongly believes in destiny. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be she often tells herself. Her insecure ex-boyfriend can go screw himself for all she cares because she won’t settle.

Related: Career Or Family? You Only Need To Sacrifice For 5 Years At Most

An Opportunity For Work & Love

The firm loves Kathy. She’s hard working, praises her employees openly, and generates a tremendous amount of revenue. Her revenue generation is so impressive that her competitors secretly call her “Killer Kathy.”

Killer Kathy’s phone rings one afternoon. A headhunter asks if she’s willing to move to New York City from San Francisco for a new start-up firm. Along with her transfer is a two-year guaranteed pay raise that’s 50% higher than what she’s currently making. We’re talking more than a couple hundred thousand a year more guaranteed.

If you include school, 14 years is a long time in the Bay Area. Perhaps it’s time for a change. Despite generating large amounts of revenue for the firm, she’s basically flat-lined over the past three years because she’s already at the top of her game. Instead of progress, she’s just maintaining, trying to keep her competitors at bay. It’s no fun being the senior player at an established firm. When she slips from #2 to #3, she feels the pressure.

Instead, the idea of starting over at a new shop where she can create a new business model and watch her company grow sounds intriguing. She longs to build something from nothing, and hear the praise of going from nowhere to Top 10! Kathy is given a rare opportunity to build something new, with the security of a guaranteed income.

Searching For Love

What’s equally interesting is the thrill of being in a bigger city with the opportunity of meeting that someone to share her life with. She’s been to New York City plenty of times before. And each time she’s impressed with the amount of available bachelors. Searching for love in Manhattan excites her. And, if finding someone is a numbers game, perhaps she should be there!

There’s something to be said about security and comfort. To know that you’ll likely never be unemployed must be a wonderful feeling. Furthermore, San Francisco is a beautiful place! And she can certainly continue searching for love in SF. It’s not like Kathy is just surviving either. As a department Vice President, she’s making a nice six-figure income money and will undoubtedly retire in 10 years if she stays with her firm.

Despite Kathy’s security, she can’t stop thinking about the opportunity in New York City. Even if things implode after two years, she’ll have a hefty savings cushion due to the increased compensation. Mathematically, working for 50% more for 2 years is like working for 3 years at her existing place. Deep inside though, Kathy knows that if she found someone here in San Francisco, she’d most certainly never leave.

Related: You’ll Always Regret Sacrificing Love For Money

Further Reading

  • How To Make More Money By Doing Nothing
  • Is Not Wanting To Be Rich Selfish? Ways To Help Others If You No Longer Seek Or Have Wealth
  • Personal Finance Advice For Couples: When One Partner Isn’t Interested In Finances At All
  • If You Were Broke Would You Settle For A Less Than Ideal Partner?
  • “I’m Rich, Bitch!” And Other Annoying Things Rich People Say And Do

Readers, if you were Kathy what would you do? Should Kathy leave her cushy job to find new adventure, or be satisfied with what she has?

Is it reasonable for her to feel that a life is not worth living if she doesn’t have a man to share it with?

As a woman, would you choose career or family if you had only one choice?

Keigu,

Sam @ Financial Samurai – “Slice Through Money’s Mysteries”

Follow on Twitter @FinancialSamura

Doing Anything You Can to Survive – Silence And Surprise In The Night

Updated: 04/01/2021 by Financial Samurai 39 Comments

Are you doing anything you can to survive? You are not alone. Grit, hustle, perseverance all come to mind when I think about survival. I want to share with you an experience that happened to me in 2010 that made me think about how far each of us will go to survive.

One night, I was playing poker into the wee hours of the morning with some buddies. The poker game ends and the team of entrepreneurs and new media types say their good-byes. I leave up $51 bucks, which is a nice return given my $100 buy-in. But, it’s a pittance against others leaving with wads of cash big enough to substitute for butt-cheek implants if so desired.

The last time I was out until 3:30am was when George W. proclaimed we won the war. There are so few cars on the road, when I do see one, I wonder what trickery lies ahead. There’s a certain tranquility one feels when others are sleeping. Dim yellow lights glow in San Francisco’s misty haze. Nobody bothers you because nobody is conscious enough to care.

Almost home, I decide to instead drive towards the Bay and take in the silence of black murky waters and a revolving spotlight that perpetually emits from Alcatraz. I wondered if this calm is how Frank Lee Morris felt before he tried escaping The Rock some 48 years ago.

TAP, TAP, KNOCK



Read More…

The Elegance Of Failure: Appreciate Success

Updated: 02/04/2021 by Financial Samurai 26 Comments

The Elegance of Failure is a guest post from Neal Frankle at Wealth Pilgrim. Neal is a dedicated father, insightful financial adviser, and honorable Yakezie Challenger who always writes with a breath of fresh air  You can join his 2,500+ followers on Twitter @NealFrankle.  Enjoy!

Failure is not only a necessary part of life, it can be a beautiful part of life.

This may sound like crazy talk.

After all, if you are a hardworking person, you work hard because you want to succeed, not fail.

And failure stings.

It hurts.

Man….it hurts.

That pain is real….but despite that temporary pain, those set backs are likely key ingredients to your future success. And the success I’m talking about dwarfs financial or career gains.

Let me explain by telling you about an experience I had several years ago.

BACK IN THE MOTHERLAND

When I was in my 20’s, I started a Masters program at the Hebrew University in Jerusalem. My goal was to study in Hebrew with the local students and complete the degree.

This isn’t such a lofty goal in and of itself, but when you consider that I didn’t speak a word of Hebrew 9 months prior to my enrollment, I think you’ll agree that it was quite a challenge – if not insane.

I studied as hard as I could.  I worked night and day using every opportunity I could to improve my language skills.

Sure enough my hard work paid off – sort of.

Within 9 months I passed the entrance exam and was admitted to the Hebrew University’s Masters Program for Political Science. My language level tested out as fluent.

And that’s when my problems started.

While my conversational ability was pretty good, I couldn’t understand a word my professors were saying from day 1.  I mean not one meshugunah word.

I doubled my studying and put everything I had into it… but it was no use. I didn’t have the skill or ability to learn as quickly as I was required to.

Within 3 weeks, I dropped out and returned to America.

I felt like a complete failure.

It took me years to let go of that experience.

IN AMERICA WHERE MY BUSINESS GROWS

When I came back, I focused all my energy on starting a business and this time, the universe said “YES”. I was fortunate enough to build a very successful business from ground up.

You could say that the door had to close on my Hebrew Political Science dreams in order for the door to open for my business aspirations.

That’s true of course. But had I just stopped there I would have missed a gift far more valuable.

You see, I felt like a loser when I didn’t make it in Israel because I confused having limited skills (in this case, language skills) with being defective myself. Then I felt like a winner as my business grew.

My emotional peace of mind was completely tied and dependent upon my success or failure.

For me, that’ s no way to live.

The elegance is seeing that your success or failure in an endeavor, doesn’t say anything about you as a person. I have limited skills – we all do. So what?

It doesn’t mean you are flawed as a person.

You can apply this lesson if you have financial stress, problems in your career or trouble at home.

If something doesn’t work out, it’s just the universe’s way of telling you to try something different. It’s not a statement about my value as a human being.

There’s a lot of freedom in that. At least I believe there is.

Understanding this makes it easier for me to be objective about how I spend my time. I have less invested in the outcome. All I have to do is my best and let the result go. And if I do my best, what more can I do? In fact, if I have done my best, what right do I have the right to beat myself up?

Please don’t get me wrong. I still believe it’s important to do the best I can. Put everything I have into it. But when things don’t work out, I don’t want to repeat the mistake I made all those years ago. I hope you feel the same way.

CONCLUSION

Don’t let your outcomes define you. It’s unhelpful and it’s untrue. Failure is elegant because it provides a lesson in self that no other classroom or experience provides. It allows us to value ourselves separate and apart from what we can and can’t do.

Related:

Perpetual Failure Is The Reason Why I Save So Much

The Secret To Your Success: 10 Years Of Unwavering Commitment

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Keiju,

Sam @ Financial Samurai – “Slicing Through Money’s Mysteries”

Follow on Twitter @FinancialSamura and subscribe to our RSS or E-mail feed.

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