There is an unhealthy desire for prestige and money that is ruining people’s lives. At the end of all the striving, you might end up feeling empty inside.
The desire for prestige and money is why we: 1) spend an outrageous sum of money on education, 2) kill ourselves at jobs we don’t like, 3) put up with colleagues and bosses we despise, 4) never pursue our dreams, 5) neglect our children, and 6) eventually fill our hearts with regret.
If we can figure out how to rid ourselves of the desire for prestige and money, we will become much happier in the process!
After all, consistently feeling happy and having a sense of purpose may be what life is all about.
One Man’s Desire For Prestige And Money
Years ago, I was attending Finovate, a financial innovation conference, I met a fintech entrepreneur named John. He told me his revolutionary idea was to simplify the documentation gathering process for people looking to refinance or get a new mortgage. As anybody who’s ever taken out a mortgage can attest, it’s a real pain in the ass.
I was intrigued since I’ve done about 10 refinances on four properties since 2003. I planned to refinance one last time when I met him. But when John showed me his product, it still required the user to upload all of the docs the bank wanted onto his website. Further, there are always additional document requests from the bank to upload on his platform after that. What’s the point?
Creating an unnecessary barrier between consumer and lender didn’t seem like a good business idea. At least John was trying to solve a problem. I thanked him for his time and wished him well.
Then just the other month I ran into John at another fintech conference. I tend to go once a quarter with a free media pass. Otherwise, I’d go less often because these tickets cost anywhere from $300 – $2,000 each!
Running conferences during the internet boom is akin to being a landlord. It’s one of the best ways to profit.
I asked John how his product was doing, and he said that he’s looking to hire a CEO with more product experience. One guy slipped away thanks to an offer from Google, but another guy was close to joining.
Still Not Going Anywhere
Fantastic! I told him. In order to get someone with CEO-level experience to quit his/her job to join his startup must mean his product is doing pretty well. But when I talked to him further, he said he was still looking to launch his MVP, or minimum viable product.
Huh? If an entrepreneur hasn’t launched his MVP, there are no customers or revenue. All an entrepreneur has is an idea. So after 1.5 years, John basically spent $10,000+ attending financial conferences, collected no revenue, and hasn’t even launched a working website. Totally illogical, right?
Wrong.
John mentioned that he was bored back home in Seattle with his wife and daughter. Same old stuff, every single day. Ever since he left the mortgage industry after it imploded in 2010, he’s felt lost. He decided to attend business school part-time, and from there he discovered his passion for fintech.
When I asked him whether he felt that flying down to San Francisco to attend conferences for 2-3 days at a time was costly, he mentioned, “not at all!”
“I feel so alive coming to all these conferences. I get to pass out my business card that says ‘Founder & CEO’! Before, I was just one of many mortgage officers trying to make a buck. Now, I get to meet so many aspiring entrepreneurs looking to do something new with their lives. They treat me as an equal. It’s wonderful!”
The guy was playing the status game hard, and failing.
Escaping His Family
He went on, “Also, I’ve been able to meet plenty of interesting women. I always tell them I’m looking to hire a VP of Marketing or whatever role they are currently doing to keep their interest. As soon as I tell them this, their eyes light up as I’m suddenly the man of their dreams!
I’ve been seeing this one woman for over a year now in the Bay Area. Even though she lives 45 minutes south of San Francisco, she always makes time to drive up and have dinner and drinks with me.
I don’t know how long I can keep stringing her along about the VP of Marketing role, but she likes the attention and the idea of potentially working for me, so why not enjoy it while it lasts?”
It’s always about a girl isn’t it? Revenue, product, helping others with their financial problems be damned. On the one hand, it’s bad of John to string this woman along for so long as a married man. On the other hand, she’s an adult who makes her own decisions.
Sadly, I have a feeling John is heading towards some difficult times both financially and personally as this fintech startup is his only gig.
The Unhealthy Desire For Prestige
Do you remember the kid in high school who was pretty goofy looking and tried a little too hard to fit in? I think that’s John. Now that John has the prestige of being the CEO of his own startup, he’s loving every minute of it. It doesn’t matter whether his startup ever becomes a success or not. Having attractive women give him attention is the best sort of validation a man could ever have.
I venture to guess we’ve all desired prestige at some point in our lives. As a kid, I enjoyed the prestige of owning a pair of Air Jordans and Armani jeans.
As a college graduate in my 20s, I enjoyed the prestige of working in finance before the 2008 financial crisis hit. After that, working in finance felt like an embarrassment, even if you had nothing to do with people not paying their mortgages.
As a 45-year-old man, I don’t give a rat’s ass about prestige anymore! In fact, I don’t think I’ve cared about prestige since 2010, right about the time when I was seriously contemplating doing something else with my life.
I’d much rather be a nobody most of the time. It’s only if I’ve written a new book or created something new will I strive only be a somebody for several months to market it. Then it’s back to being a nobody again.
Prestige Is Overrated
If I cared about prestige, I wouldn’t have driven an old car named Moose for 10 years. Money became a secondary goal in 2012, which is why I left my job to make little money as a blogger.
If I cared about prestige, I wouldn’t have rented out my house in the expensive north side of San Francisco to live in a much cheaper part of town that nobody has ever heard of.
There is zero prestige in being a personal finance blogger, but I love being one 95% of the time. It’s only about 5% of the time I get annoyed due to some callous remarks from strangers with no intellectual backing.
I’m sure most people have no idea how lucrative being your own independent publisher can be either, which is just fine by me. Every day is a joy to come up with new topics to write about or solidify new business ventures based on the brand I’ve built online.
Sadly, there is one case where have some status and prestige matters. Getting your children into private grade school. But do we really want to get caught up in that prestige cycle? I’m not feeling it and would rather homeschool.
How To Let Go Of The Desire For Prestige And Money
At some point, you’ve got to learn how to be satisfied with what you have. Letting go of making maximum money will be difficult. However, as someone who did just that in 2012 and again in 2021, you’ll get over it and feel happier.
1) Find your purpose.
Is working at Facebook really that prestigious if your role is to try and bring in more advertisers for fake news feeds?
How about working at McKinsey? Is it really that prestigious if your role is to provide reasons for why your client should fire more people?
What about working at Uber? Is it prestigious if your mission is to figure out how to manipulate drivers with ridiculous requirements in order to keep them driving before your fleet of driverless cars take over?
How about working at Goldman Sachs? Analyzing how to make more money for a billionaire who continues to hoard his wealth when there are hungry people in his hometown is not very prestigious.
Come on guys. There’s NOTHING really prestigious about any of these companies. It’s only the fact that you get to make a lot more money than most people. If you can get in, great.
Know the concept of Ikigai
Make and save as much money as possible so you can get out and do something more meaningful as soon as possible. Understand the Japanese concept of ikigai, your “reason for being.” Once you find your ikigai, your life will become full of meaning.
If you love your job then fantastic. But if you don’t, it’s not worth staying. Down the road you will regret staying at a job mainly for the money.
Our purpose often gets lost because we’re tied up doing what society tells us we should do. The best places to work are those that have a mission driven purpose to help solve real problems.
Problems such as hunger, child abuse, homelessness, disease, mental illness, financial calamities, domestic violence, poverty, etc. Having our “best and brightest” join firms to design new picture filters for selfies is ridiculous!
Note: I recognize these companies have some great positives as well e.g. connecting the world, lowering the cost of transportation for folks who can’t afford to live close to work, providing capital for small businesses, etc.
Related: What If You Go To Harvard And End Up A Nobody
2) Create something of your own.
If the hardest part about life is getting into a prestigious university or company, then the path of least resistance is to coast thereafter. When you coast, you rely on the prestige of the institution to justify your self worth. Over time, you’ll be filled with self-doubt whether your accomplishments are your own or because of your company.
Why do you think some people never leave? They’re afraid that without their company, they aren’t anything! To counteract this self-doubt, you must produce something original. Do it while you’re working so you can iterate without incredible pressure.
Before I press publish, I wonder how each article I’ve written will be received. Sometimes I’m scared to publish, but I publish anyway because I know that if I don’t, I’ll never grow. Embrace fear!
You will find extreme satisfaction putting new things out to the world. The satisfaction of building something from the ground up is more satisfying than anything you could ever accomplish under the umbrella of another.
I felt this way when I spent two years during the pandemic writing my Wall Street Journal bestseller, Buy This, Not That. Publishing a traditional book with Penguin Random House was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But I feel proud to know it can help millions of people make more optimal decisions.
Take some risks and create something on your own, no matter how small. You’ll feel embarrassed or hurt in the beginning. But it just gets better over time. Nobody can ever take away something you’ve created.
Once you start thinking beyond yourself, you will ironically feel much better about yourself. Do something while alive to help a generation of people after you.
Related: Two Retirement Philosophies Will Determine Your Safe Withdrawal Rate
3) Practice gratitude.
It’s easy to think our success is 100% due to our own merits. The reality is that anything good was created with the help of many people. There’s a weird amount of self-delusional narcissism that’s happening in Silicon Valley thanks to so many overnight successes.
As a result, the majority of people who have not succeeded at the same level or time period feel an intense level of dissatisfaction. This is even though they are comparatively doing great compared to millions.
Wake up every day and recognize the people who helped you get to where you are. Realize your wealth and success is mostly due to luck! Keep a gratitude journal.
For me, I’m grateful for my father who has been my editor. He encouraged me to start Financial Samurai way back when. I’m grateful to my mother who is always supportive in whatever I’ve wanted to pursue.
Thank you to my wife who’s been my CFO and COO since the beginning. She is also an incredible mother of two young children.
And of course, I’m grateful to every reader who shares some insightful comment and shares my work around the web. Thank you!
Reading a note of thanks is more valuable than any prestige I could ever want.
Who Are You Trying To Impress?
For John, he might be trying to impress his wife, his daughter and other random women to prove he can reinvent himself after the mortgage industry collapsed.
For me, I just want to make my wife and kids proud. Each day I get up, I ask myself whether I want to grind or relax. Inevitably, I decide to grind for at least a couple hours before the family wakes up. It’s what gives me a sense of balance and purpose.
At the end of your life, nobody is going to care about your prestige, status, or money. All they’ll care about is whether you were a kind enough person who touched their lives. Did you help people or did you not?
We must find a way to let go of the desire for prestige and excess money. If you do, you’ll stop caring so much about what other people think. You’ll also start focusing on what matters most to you.
Breaking The Chains Of Desire
If you’re trying to break free from the rat race, I recommend you negotiate a severance instead of quit. If you negotiate a severance like I did back in 2012, you not only get a severance check, but potentially subsidized healthcare. Deferred compensation and worker training are also benefits of a severance package.
When you get laid off, you’re also eligible for up to roughly 27 weeks of unemployment benefits. Having a financial runway is huge during your transition period.
Conversely, if you quit your job you get nothing. Check out the book How To Engineer Your Layoff: Make A Small Fortune By Saying Goodbye. It’s the only book that teaches you how to negotiate a severance.
Build Your Own Website
If you truly believe in yourself, then you should start your own website and build your brand online. Don’t let Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter get rich off you. Get rich off yourself! There’s nothing more rewarding that making your own money from nothing.
I started Financial Samurai in 2009, and three years later, I was able to leave my banking job because this site was making enough money. Now, this site earns way more than I ever made as an Executive Director with much less work and much more fun.
Here’s my step-by-step guide for starting your own website today. Don’t let the desire for prestige ruin your life. Seek freedom instead!
Regards,
Sam, Chairman, Founder & CEO of Financial Samurai Author
For more nuanced personal finance content, join 55,000+ others and sign up for the free Financial Samurai newsletter. Financial Samurai is one of the largest independently-owned personal finance sites that started in 2009. Everything is written based off firsthand experience.
Hi Sam, great article as always! I work in finance.. been through many ups and dows. It’s stressful.. I’m 34 and working my butt off. I could give 2 shits about prestige – I don’t even own a watch and I drive an Acura. I’ve been saving 50% of what I earn since I was 23. You know the upside in finance – in a couple years I could easily be making 1 mil / year .. in fact I could earn that now at GS or a hedge fund but I like the company I work for (truly). What I can’t figure out is – why don’t I just work for 5 – 7 more years and then relax and hopefully never have to worry about money anymore. I can have enough in college savings for kids, the house I’ve always wanted, passive income through stocks/bonds/real estate and a charitable endowment. So why not just grind out for 5-7 years? You advocate freedom and starting your own business… while I would love that and contemplated it.. isn’t it easier to go the employment route? Curious to hear your thoughts..
If u can make big bucks for the next 5-7 years and not burn out, go for it!
I was burnt out by 35, but wanted to last until 40. If I didn’t have an alternative (this site), I would have kept on going.
I never had prestige. I don’t even know what it is but it sounds expensive.
I truly enjoy reading your postings and most of all sharing them. Thank you.
Hi Sam
A thoroughly reflective post. Welldone!
Relativity is to blame for alot of the quest for prestige or status. Human beings typically make decisions by comparing themselves to others or to something else.
It takes alot of self awareness to truly understand what one wants and why it matters. Sadly, many never quite get to realise this or get to this level of emotional intelligence.
It’s also this self awareness, which is necessary as one pursues all sorts of personal freedoms in life.
Couldn’t agree more! I’ve tried to instill in my daughter that she should never compare herself to other people.
The only person you should be comparing yourself to is who you were yesterday…and are you a better person today?
Sam, great article..thanks for sharing.
But the problem is, for many of us, wise advice like this, which contradicts ..no infact, rebukes popular belief, is either received too late, OR, people believe in still following,after whetting it out themselves…hope many of the readers would not make that mistake.
I facepalm when people waste lot of money on wedding instead of invested in bitcoins – they would had a lot more money now. Yeah, their friends would call them “losers” for not having expensive wedding, but in few years they would be winners.
But of course likes in instagram is the most important thing for most people these days.
An eye opener! Thanks for the thoughts of yours.
Hey Sam,
Great post, I just reread it and should probably continue to read it periodically. I’m a big fan of the site and usually don’t comment – however I have an important question for you on the topic of prestige:
When does a full time MBA program make sense vs part time programs vs not at all (and spending that extra time / money in starting a business or doing more at your current job, etc.)? Would you get the part time Haas MBA all over again, knowing what you know now? I feel like prestige is a big part of the MBA decision whether people like to admit it or not. How large a part did the desire for prestige play in decision?
Thank you for the consideration!
I’d absolutely do it again. Berkeley is a top 10 school and can’t be having 80% plus of your tuition paid for.
It’s just way too expensive to go full-time for two years, pay all the tuition, is all that income, and lose two years of your life. I would go to full-time MBA program if I was already rich man had something lined up and I needed a big brea it’s just way too expensive to go full-time for two years, pay all the tuition, is all that income, and lose two years of your life. I would go to full-time MBA program if I was already rich man had something lined up and I needed a big vacation.
Time is too precious. Only go if you know for sure after you graduate you plan to work for decades to come.
Thank you very much for the quick reply. IF, at the same point in your career (I’m in a very similar position as you were), what would you pick if you had the options to:
1. Attend Harvard, Stanford, or Wharton at the full cost of tuition
2. Attend a ranked 10-15 school on a full tuition scholarship
3. Attend a lesser ranked regional MBA part time program at 80-100% scholarship (UCLA, Ross, UT)
4. Wait a few more years, and attend Wharton’s executive MBA program in the bay area (scholarship unknown)
I’m having a hard time understanding the benefits of a part time program if you’re already working in finance and don’t need the MBA to promote. but I have that unhealthy desire for prestige (non-target undergrad chip in my shoulder).
No idea about your situation Kevin. Go for the prestige and let me know how it goes! It sounds like you really want the prestige. Worst case is that you just have to end up working 2-4 years longer.
We regularly rejected MBAs from Harvard, Stanford, and Wharton btw.
I appreciate the advice, and thanks Sam! I’ll let you know how it all goes.
Thought I’d chime in. I work at a large Megacorp in the Midwest. Went back part-time to get my MBA at a Top 30 program in the city I live in – solid program but not top tier at all. My company paid all of the tuition through a reimbursement program. I had some co-workers pay additional to go to part time programs in Chicago and North Carolina. I’ve also observed our full time MBA hire program. The honest reality – there is no difference in future career paths going part-time or full time in my opinion. The people who went to “more prestigious” part-time programs are in no different position than me. Those who went full time at top schools got their foot in the door, but that’s it, don’t make more and have years to pay back their debt. Also, they may have unrealistic expectations of their career to justify going back full time and spending so much money.
I agree. I got the impression from two of my friends who went full-time to a great MBA program having relatively high expectations of their own career trajectory. We’ll see where they end up in a few years.
From my experience getting an MBA back in the 90s, it was never about the program at the school you went to, but about what opportunities rubbing elbows with the students at the school could get you. The “Who you know” opened more doors and options than the study itself.
I was just discussing this with my dentist friend yesterday. We have both been working in “prestigious” health fields and while we love our work, sometimes the stress isn’t worth it. And while we are helping people, sometimes it doesn’t seem like it with our current healthcare system. It’s important not to tie your entire self worth to your work. There are so many other things to be passionate about like family, religion, community service etc.
If we’re not put on this Earth to be good people and help each other, then what’s the point?
Excellent article Sam !!!
Its sad to see people living for false prestige all around. Every new shiny automobile, every new home, new 85inch 3D LED …is a living example of the same.
I run my own small company now and I sometimes forget that people find it prestigious. I see that I am working FT elsewhere while I build up my client base and knowledge base and working myself hard. My company is a passion project that helps people and will hopefully pay me a decent enough salary to marry my girlfriend. When I meet new people, they only see Business Owner and assume that I’m rich and fancy or that I desire to be. Nope. In my FT gig, I see the consultants and middle-managers giving up their lives for a company that will chew them up and I have no desire to join them. I want to do good for the world and have time for my friends and chosen family. Luxury goods and tricking women into spending time with me under false pretenses is not a desirable outcome.
Hi Sam,
I love your blog and this post rings true on so many levels for me. I work in PR, mid-level role (so money is not all that great). Still, despite a bit of stress that comes with it, I love my job and am really good at what I do. One of my close friends is a single woman who spends countless hours at work doing what she can to have that prestige, to keep climbing up the corporate ladder. Doesn`t seem like she even enjoys her work all that much but the thirst for power is there and she seems to have changed so much over the years — the more power she has the more mean and greedy she gets. Power is an interesting thing.
I do agree with some people above seeing that I, too, also wanted more of that prestige and power when I was in my 20s but, now in my 30s, realize that doing what you love (and is passionate about) is far better than getting up the food chain to only end up doing work you hate and forgetting why you started working in that field in the first place.
Good job on everything you have accomplished. You are very inspiring! :)
There is a lot of hubris in the professional world. At the end of the day, it’s what makes you happy and gets you going everyday.
I feel bad for that entrepreneur John you met. I wonder how much longer he can burn through his funds.
This is certainly an age related concept at the core, in my opinion.
I’m actually going through this “prestige shift” right now. I used to care so much about silly things like sneaker and clothing brands. I’d spend stupid amounts of money on a named product just to showcase myself as a success, it was ridiculous.
Recently though I’m finding myself far more practical though. I consider whether the product itself is good quality. Is it warm? Is it comfortable? What material is it made from? How durable is it? I couldn’t care less about brand anymore, unless I appreciate the quality of the brand itself.
I can’t quite put my finger on whether it is due to aging, or due to me taking a keen interest in personal finance now. I suspect it’s a bit of both.
Whenever I come across a discussion like this, I’m overcome by the burning desire to find out about who and what my “new and improved” neighbors are next door.
The people who reside in multi-million dollar mansions with up to 6 garages. Single family residences, these people simply cannot exist without servants to do everything for them. They virtually broadcast E-N-T-I-T-L-E-D 24-7-365 right down to have blazing spotlights illuminating their fake-stone exteriors. Half a dozen vehicles are parked in front, despite only half that number of people living there. Do these elites have money or are they piss-poor showoffs thriving on the attention of others?
I’m comfortably financially independent myself, live well below my means with my money in my net worth not my “poor man’s” home.
But guess which one of us gets respect and which one gets garbage thrown onto his property?
Hi Sam,
Prestige is all psychological. No one really cares what brand you buy, except yourself. And shortly thereafter, it won’t matter to you anyway as you would feel much better buying more in value while spending less (e.g. Vizio TV versus Samsung TV with the same specs). Also if you have friends that do care about prestige, maybe you need new friends :-).
I started to see the difference between prestige work and meaningful work when I began working with a not-for-profit community health center.
I had worked in healthcare for years but always on the for-profit side. It was all about bringing in as many patients as possible paying the highest rate.
With the community health center, revenue wasn’t tied to patients. It was generally funded through grants, government programs, and donations.
When you look at patients as revenue sources, you tend to see them differently than when you look at them as people in need.
It’s much more fulfilling helping those people in need than just cashing in on their health issues.
Refocusing your efforts in order to try to build a business/create something/change the world is NOT chasing prestige? I think the world is changing, period. Things that used to be prestigious are just less so now. The fact that there are more options than ever to make money now means that going the traditional route is less appealing.
I don’t think so. There’s nothing prestigious about starting from zero. Courageous. But not prestigious. If you succeed in “changing the world,” it’s not prestigious. It’s more heroic.
This is the best thing I’ve read all day. Prestige…I really can’t think of a good reason to go after it unless it’s going to do exactly what you said – to make money, save money and go do something more meaningful!
This particular sentence really hit home…
“Take some risks and create something on your own, no matter how small. You’ll feel embarrassed or hurt in the beginning. But it just gets better over time. Nobody can ever take away something you’ve created”
I’m in that frame of mind currently, and since I’m also coming up on the big 40 in a couple of months I’ve been questioning what I want the next 40 to look like. Prestige is not really the issue for me, I’ve never really tied my self worth to any external attributes. My biggest problem is the potential guilt I may feel should I finally decide to cut the cord and walk away from my career. I plan on focusing over the next few years on how to best position myself to get past that guilt/fear of the unknown.
Your blog continues to be a great inspiration. Thanks!
Ah, guilt. I felt that a lot during my transition period e.g. What kind of idiot leaves a well paying job at 34.
Guilt is one of the main reasons why I wrote this post: The Dark Side Of Early Retirement, a year or two before I retired. I’ve since updated it to reflect on how I’ve felt years after retirement.
I like the post. Let’s not mix up prestige, success, accomplishment.
Prestige is shallow and can be dangerous, Success is good if you know how to keep your inner self, Accomplishment is very good….
Well said. It is important for YOU to recognize you have accomplished your goals. Not so important whether other people recognize them.
Also as Sam emphasized before – progress. If you are improving every day, you will feel good about yourself.
I was starting to form a differing opinion until I read this:
“Our purpose often gets lost because we’re tied up doing what society tells us we should do.”
I think that nails it. Generally speaking, humans like to be told what to do. Direction provides a level of comfort. While some people no doubt begin their journey seeking prestige, I think a bigger percentage just don’t know what else to do, so they seek out what society says is a successful life. They’re doing what they’re told because it brings a level of comfort.
I enjoyed this post, Sam. Thanks for taking the time to write it!
I think prestige is more a young (wo)man’s game. The pursuit of it has certainly grown more uninteresting with age.
I have always worked as a systems development engineer. What it did mean, once upon a time though, was prestige. We looked down upon user-space developers. We would not even condescend to consider a web developer an actual developer. If you weren’t deep down in the kernel, jiving with race conditions, interrupts and corruptions, you were a pretender. So much prestige. The glory of it all. And then my mother yanks me back to earth when she says “Well but that does mean you can or cannot fix this funny thing that my phone has been doing lately when I launch Facebook”. And you realize that all that prestige existed mostly in your head and in the heads of your clique and nobody out there in the real world actually gives a shit about your little pecking order.
I am a good example of one of these prestige seeking victims. I squeezed into a prestigious college off the wait list. Then on and off I went to some prestigious graduate programs and companies. I never felt confident at these highly competitive environment. Sometimes I am above average, and sometimes I am lower on the rung. Yes, you do become associated with the best and the brightest, but as a young person, it really is counter productive to your growth. When you are not one of the best among your peers you never develop leadership ability or confidence.
Prestige obviously is not all bad, but as much as we can we should seek out its intrinsic value.
A prestigious school, firm, company is prestigious for a reason. They have the best and the brightest people. They are at the cutting edge and have the most impact in their field. If you are going in for those reasons and are confident you can rise to the top. Then by all means go for it.
I think one should be honest with themselves when they seek prestige. Like the guy Sam described, it is very admirable to hustle and start your own company. But to do it for the appearance is a recipe for disaster.
I myself was guilty of that. Sure it sounded good when I tell people where I went to school, and where I work. But my day to day life was not that happy. 1.5 years ago I joined one of the more prestigious group in our city in hope of becoming a partner there and make banks$$$. In reality, the general atmosphere was not suitable for me. At these top companies, most people are very assertive and good at climbing the social ladder. For me that is not a second nature. Also you are constantly evaluated and scrutinized. Also coming in at middle age created a level of stress that although mentally I handled ok, but my body started falling apart. I started getting all sorts of medical problems.
My conclusion at this stage of my life is, it’s better be a big fish in a small pond than a small fish in a big pond. Or better yet, be the only fish in your own pond. Nothing bad with seeking a little bit of prestige, but autonomy, freedom, and growth is much more important.
Thanks for sharing your story. I guess another solution is to be the big fish in the big pond and kill yourself to try and get there. But we all know that getting there is brutally difficult, and once you get there, then you start comparing yourself to even bigger fish in bigger ponds.
You might enjoy this post: The Health Benefits Of Early Retirement Are Priceless
I’m not saying you should engineer your layoff. But the post may give you the “permission” to take it down a notch and refocus on your health and happiness in a less stressful roll.
I have not been reading since 1/1/2014, but have probably gone through enough previous posts that I might as well have been a reader for the last 3 years.
Check your paypal ;) and Happy Holidays and keep up the good work.
Awesome Charleston! Got the $100. I’m going to share it with someone else. Thanks for the contribution!
A fantastic article – I love the focus on humility and self-awareness. I often find that people obsessed with prestige are trying to cover a deep sense of insecurity; a bit like the fellow in your article.
I’m not sure what I can add that @financialpanther didn’t already say about the law. The culture is driven by prestige. Every website bio on a law firm’s page will tell you where that lawyer went to law school. It doesn’t matter if he or she has 20 years of experience practicing law, people still want to see where they went to school so they can decide whether they’re “smarter” or not.
Your list of the 15 paying highest companies has two law firms (I wonder how many people reading this post identified them right away as law firms? Hint: Probably only the lawyers!) but what’s funny is that only one firm is in the top 10 most prestigious (and it’s not the top). There’s always a more prestigious position or place to work.
The only contra point I’ll make is that prestige is its own driver, so the fact that 99% of the population has no idea which law firm is more prestigious is actually what makes it so prestigious to some people. Certain people want to be part of an exclusive club that other people don’t even know about (those are the coolest clubs, right!?)
I could tell, b/c the Category section is on the right of the chart :)
I’m surprised Wachtell Lipton Rosen & Katz wasn’t on the list. The thing is, there are many, many lists.
This piece made me feel way better about myself. This is one of the very few things I can say I haven’t wasted my time on. I often kick myself for wasting time and I feel a whole lot of grief over lost time which is what I hope FIRE will ultimately bring me (along with joy and peace). But I’ve never wasted my time on wondering what other people think of me or prestige or living up to other people’s expectations. I’ve always beaten my own drum and done things my own way.
@Dollar After Dollar – not chasing compound interest (I didn’t even know it existed in the real world) and generally higher interest rates earlier is also one of my regrets.
I like to think I’m not driven by status and that I’m over chasing such silly things but every now and again I find myself doing something illogical that doesn’t make financial sense in the interests of chasing prestige >_<
Usually I catch it before I act on it and remind myself why it doesn't matter but it's easier said than done sometimes!
The ironic thing is that for most people the very prestige they are chasing will add no material benefit to their life and can sometimes evoke a negative reaction from the very people they're trying to impress :S
Indeed. This is why I’m a proponent of Stealth Wealth.
Great Post Sam! This is a thought provoking topic for those of us open for self-reflection. Sometimes life makes you realize it through major impactful events (job loss, loss in family, etc.) to those that are ready to listen. Prestige, Envy, Selfishness can lead to major accomplishments, but would ultimately lead to misery if there is no purpose. I had to go through a few events (not life threatening or heart-breaking) to realize the futility of prestige or giving importance to what others think. Ego plays a central role in keeping these negative drivers alive and no one (even those who realize the futility) is immune to the pull. I have to remind myself everyday (or a few days in case I forget) to check the ego and come back to reality with humility and being grateful to be blessed with my life.
Most ambitious people seeks prestige and self-actualization in the beginning of our career. It’s a major driver and motivator to climb the corporate ladder and to prove to ourselves, families and others we can do it. We only stop chasing when our missions/ goals are accomplished or fulfilled. Once we sit in the corner office, some of us realized it is no longer such a big deal and we start look inwardly as to what makes us happy and fulfilling. Right now, I am in this stage in my life that prestige is less important but having a work, home life balance are very important for me.