After my parents pep talk in the 9th grade, I realized there were two things I had to do in order to survive high school: 1) use my brains and 2) develop some pythons. In other words, getting good grades, joining student government, and being a history buff wasn’t enough. Sure, I may have an easier time getting into some fancy college, but how was I supposed to get into girls? “Hey pork chop, did you know that General Lee surrendered on April 9, 1865, marking the end of The Confederacy and the Civil War? Lez go out tonight!” “Girls, Girls, Girls” by Motley Crue played incessantly in my head at the time. Frankly, I can’t imagine it being much different for a lot of other teenage boys.
I made it a rule to balance the mental with the physical by playing sports. As a teenager, I had a strong fear that I was going to be stuck in nerdom if I didn’t. I was a study machine who needed balance. The sports that attracted the most groupies were football and basketball, but I was too chicken sh*t to bang down low. I chose tennis instead, which had decidedly less groupies. Good thing all you really need is one!