Early retirement sounds great and it is great for the most part. But there are negatives of early retirement life that also needs to be discussed. I retired early in 2012, at the age of 34. Then I unretired a year later because early retirement felt unnatural.
Since leaving my day job in 2012, I’ve redefined what early retirement means to me. As a result, I now call myself a “fake retiree.”
Over the past 10+ years, I ended up actively doing a lot of things that provided meaning and purpose. And such things ended up making me money, hence my fake retirement.
The Desire To Really Retire Again
Today, however, I want to truly re-retire by 2023 because I’m so damn tired after the pandemic! I’ve been a stay-at-home father of two young children, 2.5 and 5.5. Fatherhood during a pandemic has been at least 50% harder than even the hardest years I had in banking.
Taxes are going up, reducing the return on our effort. With the economy also slowing, grinding harder if you don’t need to grind harder is a suboptimal choice. Finally, spending two years writing and six months marketing my new bestselling personal finance book has taken a lot out of me.
You won’t really know what early retirement life feels like until you actually walk away from a steady paycheck. It’s easy to pontificate what you should and shouldn’t do in retirement. Further, you can assume a high safe withdrawal rate when you are gainfully employed.
However, I promise you your expectations about retirement and the reality once you are in retirement will be different. Don’t be fooled by early retirees who only crow how amazing early retirement life is. Be wary instead. The Instagram life is not reality.
For all the positives of living an early retirement lifestyle, there are plenty of negatives as well. I know why we revert back to our baseline state of happiness, no matter how much freedom and money you have.
Negatives Of Early Retirement
Now that I’m a grizzled veteran, here are the six main negatives of early retirement few people like talking about.
1) You will suffer an identity crisis for an unknown period of time.
When you’ve spent at least a decade working in a profession, you’ll find it incredibly jolting to no longer be identified as the person who is a marketing expert, an investment professional, or the management consultant who can figure out how to optimize a business. It’s only after you leave your job do you truly realize how wound up you were in your profession.
Your identity crisis may last as short as three months or it might last for years. It all depends on how wrapped up you were in your job and what you plan to do next. It also depends on long you spent getting educated after high school and whether you have a clear plan post-retirement.
Doctors are some of the people who suffer the most identity crises after leaving their occupations. Conversely, high school graduates who somehow struck it rich with a product or an invention seem to adjust much easier in post-retirement life.
Job titles can be incredibly addictive. Why else do people get so depressed when passed over for promotion? Why else do people try so hard to get promoted sooner and faster than everybody else? Do not underestimate the importance of being a manager, director, vice president, or even a C-level executive.
After all, the most common question people ask when they first meet each other is: What do you do for a living? And if you tell them you don’t do anything for a living, well then you might just feel like a sheepish loser. You’ll want to try to explain yourself, but by then, your three-second first impression will no longer hold the other person’s attention.
Negatives Of Early Retirement #1: What happened to me
After working in the Asian equities business for 13 years, it felt hollow to no longer have my Executive Director title or be identified with my investment firm. I felt sad that I could no longer go to Asia for conferences or travel with clients. For so long, taking a business class trip to Hong Kong, India, China or Taiwan was part of my quarterly routine. Shallow as it may sound, it felt special to have priority boarding. I felt important when clients would entrust me to show them around in a foreign land.
For the first year after leaving my job, I wondered how the business was doing without me. Could they really survive without my expertise? After all, I was there for 11 years. Surely, they needed my relationships. But after months went by with no email or phone call from my old firm saying they wanted me back, I had to come to terms that I was no longer important to them.
I wanted to believe that my position meant something to the firm and to the people that I serviced. But at the end of the day, the person I trained to replace me as part of my severance agreement, was good enough. And because he was good enough, I concluded that I was no longer any good.
This ego hit took me a full year to get over.
2) You will be stuck in your head.
When you suddenly have an extra 10 – 14 hours a day of free time, it can be very difficult to optimize your time wisely. Just like how bedrooms naturally get messy, your mind naturally gets lazy the more time you have to do anything.
Your productivity will suffer in retirement. You will no longer feel motivated to achieve great wins. As a result, you may slowly start to get depressed. Only after some really deep soul-searching and some, what the hell am I doing with my life questioning will you begin to organize your time better and become more productive.
Your mind can be very dangerous because it can always second-guess your actions. Did I retire too soon? What if I run out of money? Will people think I’m a loser? What if I can’t ever get back into the workforce if things go wrong? When you have a lot of time to think, your doubts go on and on.
Perhaps one analogy is to compare being stuck in your head with Locked-in syndrome. LIS is a condition in which a patient is aware but cannot move or communicate verbally due to complete paralysis of nearly all voluntary muscles in the body except for vertical eye movements and blinking. This could be one of my worst nightmares. Retiring early may render you inoperable for a while.
Negatives Of Early Retirement #2: What happened to me
Because I left work at the age of 34, I was worried for about the first two years whether or not I had made the right choice. No rational person leaves a well-paying job to be unemployed in their mid-30s. Your late-30s is when you start to finally make good money. And by the time you reach your 40s, you should be at your maximum earnings power.
During my first year of early retirement, to the outside world I proudly proclaimed I was retired from a career in finance. But on the inside, I was second-guessing my decision to leave. Because of my uncertainty, I decided to do some part-time consulting with a financial technology startup for ~20 hours a week. It was a great way to distract my mind from all my fears.
I also earned some side income and got to replug myself into society. I also kept in touch with multiple banks until my Series 7 and 63 licenses expired.
Finally, I dived deep into my writing on Financial Samurai. Writing has always been my most cathartic way to deal with any uncertainty or problems I might have. For example, now that I have a son and daughter, I’ve been worried about whether our passive income is enough to support a family of four if they don’t win the SF public school lottery system. It’s taken almost 20 years for me to generate this passive income level, and it still doesn’t seem like enough.
Given this worry, I did a deep dive budget analysis for a family earning $300,000 a year. It it sure seems like we need to earn $100,000 more to maintain our lifestyle in San Francisco. Alternatively, we can always move to a lower cost area of the country.
3) People will treat you like a weird misfit.
Whether it’s because retiring early is unconventional or because people are secretly jealous you aren’t grinding away at a day job, people won’t give you the same amount of respect as working class citizens. After all, if they can’t describe what you do for a living, then they can’t pigeonhole you into an archetype that is comfortable for them.
Having a job means you are a productive member of society. If you retire at a young age, people will assume you are simply slacking off and not paying any taxes. They’ll sometimes look at you as a leech they want to flick off.
Further, if you are an outcast, then you won’t be invited to parties or events that other working people always get to attend pre-pandemic. You’re simply not top of mind to them. If you are an extrovert, early retirement will be much more difficult than if you are an introvert.
Negatives Of Early Retirement #3: What happened to me
After the first year of early retirement, I no longer told anybody I retired early. Instead, I told anybody who asked that I was a writer, a tennis teacher, or a fintech consultant. Prior to that, I think a lot of people just assumed I was a trust fund baby who did not have to work. And the last thing this middle-class guy who went to public school wants to be known as is a trust fund baby.
My favorite time of the year was during the winter holidays. I loved going to all the holiday parties and getting tipsy with fellow revelers. Now, I get invited to zero holiday parties because I don’t work for anyone. Nor do I get invited to client holiday parties either.
Even though I have several partners who are based in the SF Bay Area. It may sound silly, but having a drink with good people with shared interests really means a lot to me.
It takes a lot of effort to build new social networks if you aren’t part of a larger organization. There is no weekend BBQ party a colleague is hosting on Labor Day Weekend to attend. I’ve had to participate in various meet-up events in order to find new people to hang out with.
So far, my social network only revolves around tennis and softball. But even then, it’s not like I’ve found buddies who will come over and just chill in the hot tub over a beer or anything.
I know. Cry me a river. but those parties to be merry with others were amazing! Maybe more people will empathize with the need for more social connections thanks to the pandemic.
4) You’ll be disappointed you aren’t much happier.
So many people think that once they achieve financial freedom or leave a job they dislike, they’ll suddenly be permanently happier. The truth of the matter is, your elevated happiness will only last at most three to six months. Eventually, you’ll revert to your natural state of being.
Think back to your high school or college days when you didn’t have any money compared to now. I’d venture to guess you were just as happy, if not happier when you were a broke college student. I felt rich even though I was poor.
Having the freedom to do what you want is priceless. But you will eventually take your freedom for granted like the air you breathe. On the days you feel angry or sad, you will start questioning what the hell is wrong with you since you’ve got more than the average person. You might even feel stupid for feeling unhappy when there are literally hundreds of millions of people in the world wondering whether they’ll have enough to eat the next day.
You think, if I can’t be happy when I’m financially independent, surely there must be something seriously wrong with me. And you could be right! Can you imagine being unhappy as a Norwegian? Norway is perpetually ranked as one of the top five happiest countries in the world.
What happens after grinding so hard for so long is that once the grind is done, you may experience a trough of sorrow. You sometimes feel this emptiness inside where you long for more. It’s a baffling feeling!
Negatives Of Early Retirement #4: What happened to me
I thought I’d be much happier not having to report to a micromanager boss I did not respect. But my increased happiness was fleeting. It only lasted for about a week before I was back to my regular self. Instead, my happiness was weighed down by months of uncertainty on whether I had made the right move to leave my job. It was only after about two years did my doubt finally start to dissipate.
Although corporate politics no longer piss me off, other things end up filling the void. For example, drivers who decide to double park on a busy street in rush hour traffic really piss me off now. So do dog owners who let their dogs poop in front of my house and don’t pick up after them. In the past, I could only allocate a small amount of annoyance to such incidences.
I also thought I’d be happier once Buy This, Not That, made the Wall Street Journal bestseller list. After all, less than 0.5% of nonfiction authors make the list. Alas, the happiness only lasted for about five days. Without anything else to look forward to, an emptiness developed inside.
Despite not being permanently happier after publishing, I’m still proud Buy This, Not That will help readers develop more wealth and make more optimal decisions. You can pick up a copy on Amazon today.
Instead of being permanently at a happier level, I’m simply no longer as annoyed at things as frequently. Further, the volatility around my steady state of happiness is lower. In other words, I’ve mellowed out. That said, don’t offend me because I still enjoy a really good fight!
Related: If I Could Retire All Over Again, These Are The Things I’d Do Differently
5) You constantly wonder whether this is all there is to life.
Retiring early is like finishing up your favorite longstanding TV show. You’re glad there’s a conclusion, but you’re also sad that it’s over. You hope to find a show that’s as good or better, but there are no guarantees.
Most of us spend 13 years going to grade school so we can spend four years in college in order to get a decent job. Then we spend decades trying to earn and save money in order to provide for our family. Then one day we hope to retire by 65. With good luck, we’ll live for another 20 years to enjoy all the fruits of our labor.
When you retire at a much earlier age, you are constantly left wondering what’s next. A potentially 50-year retirement is a very long time! You are mentally twiddling your thumbs waiting for the next big thing while your close friends are all at work. Early retirement can get extremely mundane and boring because you have nobody to spend time with.
As a result, you’re repeatedly forced to will yourself into action. This constant self-starting attitude can become extremely trying. It may get to the point where you long to rejoin the workforce and be told what to do.
Negatives Of Early Retirement #5: What happened to me
I probably drove my wife nuts during the first two years of early retirement. I constantly told her I was bored. Only boring people get bored right? Wrong. Everybody gets bored at some point.
When you’re working, you don’t have time to get bored because you’re working. There’s only so much tennis, golf, and softball I can play before my knees break apart. There are only so many churches to visit in Europe before they all start looking the same.
She used to have vacations from me because I would be away traveling for work every month. Now she was seeing my cherubic face every single day! It’s a good thing we had three bedrooms at the time. Otherwise, I’m pretty sure we’d both have gone crazy from seeing each other so often.
It was only after our son was born in early 2017 that I felt a renewed sense of purpose. Before my boy, I felt my purpose was to help educate as many readers as possible about personal finance.
After my boy was born, my purpose has expanded to keeping Financial Samurai running long enough to teach him about operating an online business. I fear he may have a tough time getting ahead. In addition, I now need to live long enough until both my kids find someone who loves them as much as I love my wife.
I don’t think I’d be able to die in peace if there’s nobody to replace his mom or me. As a result, I’m exercising more, eating healthier, and meditating longer.
6) Your relationship with your significant other might suffer.
As more people retire, I’m noticing an increase in breakups and divorces post retirement because there is a mismatch in retirement philosophies. The most obvious one is where one spouse retires first and the other spouse keeps working for years.
Resentment naturally builds up by the working spouse who doesn’t absolutely love his or her job. And nobody loves their job so much that they’d rather work than be free to do whatever.
There is also an interesting anthropological trend where the man retires early and the wife still works. Instead of the man saying he is a stay at home dad taking care of his children, mostly due to ego, he tells everyone he retired early.
Meanwhile, he is frantically behind the scenes trying to make supplemental retirement income. Sadly, they don’t truly have enough money for both to comfortably retire. We men have fragile egos.
To minimize relationship problems, it’s important to have the same philosophies. It’s also important for couples to have enough passive income to cover the couple’s desired living expenses. It would be a shame to let money get in the way of a happy retirement!
Negatives Of Early Retirement #6: What happened to me
When I retired in 2012 at age 34, my wife and I made an agreement when she was 32 that she could retire early before she turned 35 in 2015 as well. We shot for equality. With almost a three year deadline, we created some cash flow and financial goals.
When she finally retired, it was great b/c financial and career objectives were met, and she also negotiated a severance package much better than expected. We traveled together a bunch and it was nice.
However, I did have some resentment for the first couple of years because she was able to sleep in while I couldn’t after 13 years of getting up at 5 am. In other words, I was jealous she was enjoying her initial years of retirement so much! During my first year of early retirement I was always wondering: hmmm did I do the right thing leaving my job so young.
To solve this jealousy and resentment, we agreed that she would spend more time working on the back end work for Financial Samurai. Once we had our son in 2017, there was no more jealous and resentment at all. Being a full-time mom is the hardest job in the world! Now that we have a 2.5-year-old daughter, I’m super grateful for any support she can provide with FS.
Early Retirement Is Great, But It Doesn’t Solve Everything
It might sound like after reading this article that I’m depressed. But I’m not. There are some nice surprising benefits of retiring early as well.
I’m simply highlighting some of the negatives of early retirement you will probably go through if you decide to leave the workforce early. The more extroverted you are and the higher your position, the more you will have difficulties making the early retirement adjustment.
Having the freedom to do what you want cannot be overstated. However, your mind will play games with your spirit during the first few years after leaving work. Some of you won’t be able to handle early retirement life and will go back to work.
Just know that with enough conditioning, you will eventually embrace your freedom. Nobody I know who retired from corporate life early has stayed retired. You will find your purpose. Once you do, you will take steps, such as building passive income, to ensure you remain free forever.
Having Enough Money Is Important For Happiness
Since 2012, I have not spent a single dollar of my investment principal. This is due to the rise in the stock market, real estate market, and the growth of Financial Samurai. With the return of a recession. I strongly recommend everyone build more capital before retiring and lower their safe withdrawal rate in retirement.
With tremendous uncertainty in the pandemic and the need to support two kids, my retirement funds have been tested. But I’m confident everything will turn out fine in the long run because I’ve been preparing for when the good times finish.
Hopefully you can appreciate all the negatives of early retirement I’ve shared with you in this post. It is one thing to run the models and pontificate about what early retirement is like when you are still gainfully employed. It’s another thing to actually experience early retirement when you and your partner, if you have one, no longer have steady paychecks.
In the end, I believe the positives of early retirement outweigh the negatives of early retirement by a 3:1 ratio. Therefore, you might as well shoot for early retirement and discover what all the fuss is about for yourself!
Recommendation To Retire Earlier
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The Negatives Of Early Retirement is a Financial Samurai original post. I’ve been writing about FIRE since 2009. The journey to financial independence has been full of twists and turns. Make sure you enjoy your journey!
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This is one of your masterpieces, it is so true!
And one will realy feel this only when you retired early. If you read this when you are still on your journey, maybe you think about it rationaly, but feeling and knowing it is different.
Best thing about early retirement is, that you have so much more time to work on becoming a happier person. Because when you retire you are still the same person as before.
Hey Sam, great read! Your comment that physicians (dentists and pharmacists and nurses included) have so much difficulty defining themselves outside of medicine. I saw this first hand with my father. He retired in his 70s from dentistry and he has wasted away in retirement. He never found a way to define himself as anything other than a dentist. As such he mostly just watches television, mows the lawn, and opens a glass of wine for himself around 4PM. Rinse and repeat. He enjoyed this for about a month, then he became depressed. He is now 3 years into retirement and nothing has changed. With dementia setting it, breaking this familiar cycle has proven to be difficult. I write all this to say, reaching financial independence and retiring early are incredible goals. Im pursuing the same! But I think it is critical to really explore your interests and build hobbies well before you retire. This way you can have something to transition into when you retire. I think ‘fake retireing’ for a few years after retirement may actually be helpful for many approaching retirement. I would imagine it can be confusing to go from ’60 to 0.’
Thanks for another great article. Cheers!
Sorry Sam, you are NOT a “grizzled veteran” of early retirement, you went back to work a year later and have been grinding it out since. I ACTUALLY retired at 40 years old (end of 2014) and have been quite content in BEING RETIRED. Am I happy ALL OF THE TIME? Of course not, no one is. But, I am content. VERY contend as a matter of fact. See, here’s the thing…I don’t even call myself retired…instead, I am FREE. I can do whatever, whenever I feel like…I don’t have anyone (outside of the government) telling me what to do. And sorry, I don’t do social media including Instagram, so I am not sharing my adventures of freedom with the world. So stop talking down early retirement. Folks are different for you and me.
Greg, congrats for being more retired than me. You’re right that I “went back to work” by continuing to write on Financial Samurai. This site has brought me a lot of joy and meaning.
I think you’ll enjoy this anniversary post:
10-Years Of Fake Retirement Later: Key Lessons Learned
How do you keep yourself occupied in your true retirement?
Sam
Hey Sam, so glad you shared this with your readers. It hit home for me and it was very reassuring to see someone else go through the same journey. After 20 years of selling my business I still struggle with some of these same emotions. My happiest days were when I was building a business and achieving success.
Planning for retirement typically includes saving enough to cover your expenses, reducing costs and maybe downsizing your home. All of this is done in anticipation of the day when you will finally be “free of working”! But will not working really bring you the happiness you are anticipating?
Or is what you are seeking a way to spend your time doing something that you are passionate about? Being constantly under time pressure and on the hook for various nonsense and then constantly worrying about restructuring and being laid off does create a lot of stress. This can sap the enjoyment out of life, but suddenly going from the rat race to idle time with no commitments does not seem to lead to ultimate happiness. In fact, my observations have been that suddenly having nothing you must do can lead to feelings of boredom, isolation, depression and having no purpose. I have witnessed this happening within my own family.
Family gatherings have gone from discussing:
· How stressful work is, how bad management is, how unfair the policies are and what a bad boss they have and how they cannot wait to retire and get out.
To
· Aches and pains, complaints about the government and society, dealing with limitations due to medical issues, losing touch with other people, regrets about opportunities not taken when they had the chance and never getting to enjoy retirement before it was too late.
The point is, long term happiness is not as simple as ditching your job and then being totally stress free. The human mind is always active and you need something to focus your thoughts and energy on to keep you engaged and maintain your mental and physical health. This must be something compelling and meaningful to you. What we are really seeking is not to stop “working” but to spend our time “working” on something that brings us joy and satisfaction. Haven’t you heard people quoted as saying something like “do something you love and you will never work a day in your life”? The fact is that the people who are working in jobs they really enjoy don’t feel stressed and burned out, even if they are putting in many hours and lots of effort into their work. Think about people who could easily retire with the wealth they have built over many years, like Warren Buffet or Oprah Winfrey or Paul McCartney. But they keep “working” why? They choose to keep on with their work because this drives them, it is not a chore at all. And this is the one to the big keys to enjoying our “retirement years”.
How many times have you heard some say “Once I retire, I will finally have time to …………”? So the questions is – why wait to retire? Why not start now? There are many part time ventures which can be started on the side while still working a full time job, and these can be scaled up or grown as appropriate. Pick something that you enjoy doing and could make you some extra money. I have a friend who has started a side business making furniture and has set a woodworking shop. Someone else I know makes jewelry and sells it online, another person I met makes stained glass window ornaments and sells them at flea markets on her website, and another friend write fiction novels and edits movie scripts on the side…
For me my passion project is information publishing; writing instructional ebooks, how-to guides, business plans and printable items. This satisfies my creative side while utilizing my technical experience and I can see myself continuing to do this once I “retire”. It makes me enough money to fund itself and extra to invest and enjoy on fancy dinners and weekend getaways. Who knows, it might grow to make me enough money to retire earlier that planned. This is not just a sketchy get rich quick scheme. I view my side business as an investment in my long term happiness and health, just like investing in retirement funds, I am, investing in myself. You never know where this may lead you and you never know what will happen with your current company that says they are doing so well, as I’ve learned several times the hard way. Now is the time to start! Remember, it is never too late…until you decide to give up.
I retired from the Foreign Service at 53 and consider it the best decision I have ever made. I have always loved traveling and retirement gave me the opportunity to truly be free and see the world without having my life controlled by the State Department.
However, I do agree that for the overwhelming majority of retirees that your concerns are very true. My biggest concern is that with increasing age I may no longer have the physical ability to do what I most enjoy
All the negative things about Early Retirement are stated as if they WILL happen. But actually, it is more true to say they MAY happen. Most of these negatives are predicated on the idea that work is much of how you identify and value yourself. Since work (and colleagues) go away once you retire then the negatives the author listed seem inevitable. The author must be a very self-actualized man (remember Mazlov”s “Hierarchy of Needs” anyone?). But for many of us work is just our J-O-B and once you see that most of his negatives melt away. Also, although it took a great deal of planning to be able to retire early, it seems the author totally forgot that retirement requires much more than finances to be successful. It can take years of planning to be successful in retirement; such as finding value in other things besides work and colleagues, since they are by definition actually quite transient.
Retirement sucks. Especially when you r forced out due to a hostile take over, State Government interference. 45 years of service with needed2 more years to actually retire safely. I feel for us and many like us. We now face poverty. We have always lived on a budget to prepare but so much for that. U truly find out who ur friends r when this happens. It will kill us before our time. God’s hands is all we have.
Hi Sam,
I’m reaching out to say how much I liked your article a lot.
I’m in a bit of a similar situation, where I was able to stop working at 35 and move down to South America with the goal of learning Spanish and experiencing a different culture.
I think you really hit the nail on the head with the article and I totally resonate with the downsides you’ve mentioned. It’s been the best decision of my life, but when people ask I tell them you still have good and bad days and your problems don’t all go away once you take work out of the equation and change locations. It was really interesting to see someone write an article talking about the same thing!
I count myself as really lucky to have been hit with those realizations at 35, though. I think they’re bound to come at some point in life, so better to learn these things about yourself and about life at this age than to work your whole life at something you hate and then be hit with that feeling of purposelessness and regret at 65.
Anyway, great piece! I’ve sent it to a number of friends who are in the same boat and who I’ve had similar discussions with.
All the best,
John
This post really helped. I retired early and I’m now second guessing all my career choices, realizing my identity was defined by my work and I have an empty feeling that isn’t going away. I’m also driving my wife nutzs! The fact that we are isolated during a pandemic isn’t helping much. Thank you.
You’re welcome. If you haven’t found satisfaction by the end of 12 months, I would just try and look for another job.
I agree Andy. I wish you all the best. Ed
I hear you Andy. Hang in there things will get better I’m sure.
Duane
I have no problem with the free time that comes with early
retirement. I never get bored and instead feel there’s not enough time in a day and how quickly time passes. It’s up to you to give yourself a job. If you have the cash you can go to as many conferences and vacations you want and even make a YouTube out of them! The only worry about retirement is money – to ensure you don’t outlive your savings. Yes, money DOES bring happiness!
Money reduces stress because much worry and anxiety is related to lack of money.
Searched up this topic after a visit to the dentist yesterday. He shot me up with novocaine and then asked me “what do I do for a living” and proceeded to pitifully explain “early” “savings” “consulting” “used to lead” all while my mouth slowly stopped working. Realized I need to get my arms around retiring early and not being ashamed of it. I retired at 52 and now focus on my three young children. This article really hit home. Thank you for writing it and capturing all this here for it to help others.
Thank you, I retired 2 years ago At the age of 50 and got depressed that I had to go back to school to work on my doctorate degree. I’m still retired and a stay at home dad of two boys in elementary. I just wanted to research all my feelings and see if anyone was struggling with outside achievements like I was. these past 2 years.
“Thank you for this article.”
No problem! Glad you found something to do.
Before people retire, I always encourage them to retire towards something, not just retire away from their job.
Being able to write for and connect on Financial Samurai has been my main activity post retirement. However, since 2017, my main focus has been my children :)
GL!
I am planning to retie in 6 months and then having worked 41 1/2 years of federal service. I am 67 now. I am having a little trouble figuring out what my purpose will be in retirement. You have helped me realize that retiring early doesn’t solve this problem of finding your purpose. I still need to find my purpose. I shall pray and focus on finding my purpose and will see if i can negotiate a way to stay at my job and find my purpose if I go or stay. I don’t think it matters if I work or retire. It really comes down to finding my purpose. Thank very much for your perspective. ED
Good article but only relatable for people who retired early as well.
I’m one of them. Retired in my mid 30’s and moved from Europe to Thailand. It was great first but I hated the question “What do you do?” when meeting new people.
Most of the time, I was traveling, working out, reading books, volunteering (that one helped feeling useful and productive). Then, I started to envy people who are working. It felt like they have a purpose.
I retired early because it was my dream to live in a warm place and being able to travel full time. But once I achieved it, I got bored very quickly and I ticked it off my list now.
Some suggestions what we can do, after retiring early:
1. Work part time somewhere to have a routine
2. Start a business (online or offline)
We need work and a regular routine to stay mentally healthy.
Yes, you can find a purpose in life. Look & observe – dirty, dreadful places. Next, go to a beautiful park – with flowers blooming, fruit trees, & different variety of plants. Indulge all your senses, look and think.
After that, find the most accurately translated Bible. READ, imagine and meditate. Start reading the book of Ecclesiastes. May you find answers to those questions that you have entertained for a long time.
Many people get bored and develop all kinds of sicknesses when they retire. I think semi-retirement is the way to go
Imagine someone telling you consistently about their retirement 10 years prior and 10 years after.
– Are these people invested in your life. No mostly they are people who are nice enough to say hello to you but, the constant 2 dimensional mindset of your upcoming retirement and after retirement is only important to you. No one is jealous. No one finds you interesting. You don’t even find yourself interesting. You live for retirement and your looking for someone to impress with the fact that you are going to retire.
Usually none of these people know you. We do not share finances. Most of all we wouldn’t be attending your funeral.
But, here we go again it’s morning and here you come with your fixed income speech looking for approval from someone who is busy..
Nobody cares. Most of all YOUR FAMILY.
Great article. I agree with all five of your points. I chuckled at your point about people thinking you are a slacker because you retire early. I get weird looks from people when I tell them I retire early too. That’s why I now tell people I’m a business consultant even though I’m no longer working.
Hi Sam, fantastic article and I pretty much related on every point you made. I was asked to leave my senior role at a biotech about a month ago, have been saving avidly for 5-7 years and am a little shy of the 15k a month target that you set for yourself and I incorporated into my own planning. I’m 34.5, out of shape from 12 years working a job that was okay during the best of years and miserable during about half of them. I’m happy to be removed from the last situation which was squarely miserable, but have the identity/whether the money will be enough/whether I shouldn’t be living out a purpose that I believed during working that my job was keeping me from.
I don’t know if this is the end of my worklife or whether I’m just burned out and need to reset, or whether I should be taking the leap of becoming and entrepreneur or investor of some sort. I know I’m physically and mentally worn out though, so an extended pause at a minimum seems to make sense. You’re about 7 years ahead of me, I’m not sure if you would be open to some consulting/coaching arrangement as I navigate this new path, which clearly you have already walked. An experienced sounding board for some of my future plans would add a lot of value to my life, and hopefully would be enjoyable for you if you were open to that sort of thing. Even prior to leaving employ, I’ve been playing with the idea of an executive coach, which hopefully will help me level up in life, and we share a number of background/career/philosophical characteristics.
Really love your content and particularly your method of thinking through problems and data.
Cheers,
Jason
I never understood SJWs before I read this article. Okay I still don’t really but I do really understand some of the use of one of their favorite words “privilege”. This article to me basically reads “I got REALLY lucky and made a few million dollars and retired and things aren’t completely perfect boo hoo.” Give me a BREAK! As a currently unemployed person struggling to get another job this article made me sick! Shockingly I don’t have a few million bucks what a surprise! Now do I have some “privilege”? Sure of course I am getting unemployment and I’m lucky enough to have a fairly in demand skill so I’m hoping my unemployment is brief and I’ve averaged around 2 interviews a week. But this article would be the equivalent of me walking up to a homeless person and complaining that my Starbucks is only luke warm instead of piping hot! Get over yourself! Anyone with half a brain would never think money solves all problems but it sure does make things MUCH easier!
You are right. Being born an Asian male and getting to live and work in america makes me extremely privileged. I absolutely attribute the large reason why I was able to retire early due to luck.
I hope you find better luck in your life too.
Here are some articles that might be worth reading:
https://www.financialsamurai.com/solving-happiness-things-that-will-make-you-happier-and-wealthier/
https://www.financialsamurai.com/income-by-race-why-is-asian-income-so-high/
$200k enough for Bay Area retiree. I retired at age 40, before early retirement was a thing. This was in 2010, shortly after the financial crisis. One of my closest friends retired at around the same time. I opted to expatriate to Lisbon, Portugal, whereas my friend chose Marin County, where he and his family now live. This week, my friend and his wife flew out to visit me and my wife and our one child. We’ve had a great visit with them, but they’ve been sort of shocked by how inexpensive things are in Lisbon compared to Marin County. My friend and I sat down for a few minutes last night and I showed him our annual budget for non-discretionary items: private school, health insurance, maintenance charges on our apartment, local taxes. That number comes in at about $56k per year (although we spend roughly the same amount each year in travel expenses). My friend told me that he spends over $60k a year in property taxes alone – and once you throw in California income tax, private school for his kid, health insurance, gas/food/electric/groceries, their number for nondiscretionary expenses comes in at many, many, many times what my family and I spend in Lisbon. Our lifestyles and tastes are comparable, and we’re probably roughly in the same range in terms of our investment income. They are now thinking about selling their home in Marin and moving to Lisbon. The weather is comparable, access to nature is comparable. They really see it as a potential opportunity to replicate their CA existence in Europe at a small fraction of the cost – as well as an opportunity to expose their kid to a new culture and to have closer and lower cost access to other European countries to visit.
If you are thinking about chopping your bills and having some adventure, it might be worth considering a visit to Portugal. I write about living as an expat in Portugal frequently on SeekingAlpha.com – both in articles and more frequently on my blog. Some of those articles could answer any questions you might have about the nuts and bolts of moving here. You can also send me an email to my account at SA as well if you have specific questions that I might be able to answer.
Thanks – loved your article, too.
Hi Sam,
My guess is that you get hundreds of messages a day but I wanted to comment on your Retirement aerly article. I saw it published under Market Watch.
I am semi retired at 64 and sometimes still feel like you did that if I don’t keep up on my work then I will the be out of the conversation with those that do work.
When I left full time status a few years ago I spent a lot of time learning some new accounting systems and looking for work so I wasn’t technically not working anymore. I think this made the transition much easier. Now I have eased into the mode of not really caring one way or another. I believe this is easier than fully leaving the workforce.
I did laugh at your comment that you can only play so much golf, tennis and softball. Those are the exact words I use to keep myself working.
I am guessing it is harder to retire at an earlier age. The old idea that those that retired later died earlier probably doesn’t hold up as much anymore. I don’t sit around watching tv and none of my retired friends do either. But in your 30’s it has to be an odd feeling. Most of us need purpose and without that you rot away. It looks like you found a passion and that is great. Don’t lose that and if you do I am sure you will find something else.
Take care and all the best.
R
1) You will suffer an identity crisis for an unknown period.
My take: nope – if you are en egotist, you will suffer an identity crisis. if you are a normal person, you will enjoy not being badgered day in and day out by people whose mentality is “what have you done for me lately”. I retired as a Managing Director and didn’t miss the title for a second!
2) You will be stuck in your head. When you suddenly have an extra 10 to 14 hours a day of free time, it’s very difficult to optimize your time wisely.
my take: you don’t have to optimize your time wisely – you’re retired. I wake up at 10 AM
3) People will treat you like a weird misfit.
my take: they’re just jealous. close friends will treat you the same way they always treated you – the others aren’t friends so who cares!!!!!!
4) You’ll be disappointed that you aren’t much happier.
my take: I still get the Long Island Railroad updates and I am getting email alerts every day about big delays (and of course the delays are always coming home, never going to work) This alone makes me happy.
5) You constantly wonder whether this is all there is to life. Retiring early is like finishing up your favorite longstanding TV show. You’re glad there’s a conclusion, but you’re also sad that it’s over. You hope to find a show that’s as good or better, but there are no guarantees.
my take: I revel in and spend time with my aging dad and mother in law as well as my kids.
Congrats on your great retirement. What is it you do?
Money, money and mo money. I never found money inside an MRI tube. I didn’t find it in the lab where my blood was drawn. I didn’t find it in the operating room where my wife’s breasts were removed. And there was no money to be found on the cancer floor of the hospital. There was no money stuffed in the wheelchair. Money, money and mo money.
I so agree with you, Mike. I do not have an identity crisis as I was a receptionist. I do not feel left out of anything because I have always been by myself in the front of a building where no one said anything than hi, bye and I need help. The biggest thing I do not miss is the politics, the bitterness and the unproductive reviews that were just a cover for ‘what are you going to do for your job now while we do nothing for you’. I am an independent person with outside friends, volunteer for organizations and love my time off. I also spent 24 years in real estate so I saved for this happiness.
life is not a dress rehearsal
The discussion around August 28 was interesting but seems to equate “giving” with writing a check.
There is so much truly desperate need for volunteers, not just a check, and the opportunity to form friendships with other volunteers, in the fields of animal rescue, wildlife rescue.
While contributing to medical research is worthy, fields of animal rescue cannot even dream to get grant support or research funding such as that given to ‘human’ fields such as nystagamus research.
Animal rescue depends solely on donations of time and money, and the reward of truly making a difference, directly and immediately saving a life whether it is a bird or turtle egg, a kitten or puppy dumped by an unfeeling person, cannot be overestimated.
I am just saying, if you have time, and would like to really make a difference, and meet people who are committed to making a difference, there are opportunities besides monetary charitable donations.
I’m quite different from you. I never made a lot of money but I did other things. I went car free. I raised a garden. I rarely went out to eat. I did the work instead of working longs hours to make money so I could pay someone else to do it. I probably worked 60 hours a week but didn’t get a paycheck for it. Instead my pay was the loaf of homemade bread sitting on my table or the fresh vegetables I went outside to pull when I was preparing dinner. The only thing I hired out for was mowing my lawn. I was dumb enough to major in Broadcast Journalism. I went to night school but eventually became a data entry clerk. I certainly don’t identify with that. Certainly I’m more than what I do for a living. At 61 things weren’t going well for me at work and I realized that working to 67 was a dream. I got out of debt and stayed out of debt. Just after I turned 62 I retired living only on social security and pension. In September I became a substitute teacher. I had always wanted to be a teacher. Finally, my degree in broadcast journalism was paying off because as a college graduate I make more than a high school graduate. I save the money that I earn teaching and I don’t plan to pull out my savings until I’m 67. The problem I have is that people know I’m retired and expected me to do a lot of things I’ve had to turn them down and tell the I started a new career. Oh, yes I made a big goof as an 18-year-old in college but I am still young enough to have another career.
When I read content like this, I reflect on people buying lottery tickets. People have this idea that winning a lot of money, will allow them to retire & live happy ever after. I would love to know some of the stories behind those who win money suddenly.
I have considered early retirement & people mostly think I am crazy to do this. I must say I was alarmed to read some of the negatives above. People are not really happy for you & think you are a misfit? How sad when you have the money to retire. I would like to think that the positives strongly outweigh the negatives.
If you think 200000$ a year is not enough, you should come to Norway. half of it and an downplayed house would be more than enough. Dont have to care about the medicare thing and such ;-).
I am currently retired and was in a ‘senior” mgmt position. I totally relate to the fact that I miss those perks (even though I can pay for them myself now). I am no longer the go-to person so I volunteer to help out where I can to have some people contact. I am glad that you wrote this so that others in a similar position can relate.
A separate q: why is your equity allocation so low (you have enough to live on so you can afford to put more in the market and get a better return. You are also young enough to ride out the recessions as long as you are not dependent on the equity allocation.
keep up the great work
Hi Bill, I don’t have a higher equity allocation because I’m happy with what I have. Given I was happy with what I had In 2012, and my net worth has more than tripled since then, I’m OK earning percent a 5-6% return.
I found my balance, and I sleep well at night.That’s one of the most important things about early retirement.
Hi Sam, I had a corporate sales job for about 10 yrs and retired in 2012 when I was 31. I did it through the stock market. I haven’t found a better place to produce income as well as store and manage wealth. The stock market allowed me to achieve not only financial freedom but time freedom; there is a huge difference. I spend most of my time raising my 2 yr old daughter and a little bit of my time now to help others achieve time freedom. A good friend of mine (Chris Hanson) invited me to join him in doing a podcast to spread the message about time freedom and discuss the mindset it takes to achieve time freedom. I was curious to see what was discussed online regarding time freedom and early retirement. I did a search and stumbled upon your site. I’m not a social media guy so I’m just now finding out about you. Congrats on your early retirement and the brand you’ve built online. When I read your response about in the comment section about 5-6% return, I felt so compelled to grab you by the collar and tell you that “you just need more information”! I have studied the stock market for the last 20 years and can tell you that with a little more information and work put in, you’ll laugh 5 yrs from now at the thought of being “happy” with 5-6%. You can find more about me and Chris Hanson from InvestingFromTheBeach podcast. Feel free to reach out to Chris Hanson or me. I have no intention to solicit or advertise anything with this post. I found you by accident online and connect with your story and know I can help you. By your success and the work you’ve done so far, I know you have the strong work ethic and the proper mindset to do much better in the stock market!
Hi Sam,
I can relate to your article very much and I am based in Singapore! I am still looking as I have yet to find my “Financial Samurai”!
still wandering..
“I understand your anxiety about making $200,000 a year passively, but wondering if it’s enough for SF living.”
Once you have paid off your mortgage, $200K/year is more than enough to live on, by far. Prop13 keeps property taxes very low in California, and if a good portion of your portfolio is tax deferred, the tax bite is also much lower than when working. Also, remember, there is no Social Security or Medicare to pay for once you retire.
If I kept my rental house, my property tax would be $23,000 this year. I don’t consider that very low at all. Tell me about your experience retiring early in an expensive city. I’d love to see some expense numbers and such. Thanks!
I understand your anxiety about making $200,000 a year passively, but wondering if it’s enough for SF living. I would guess that every retiree wonders about income during retirement at some point. I would.
We’re not retired. My husband decided to start his own business so he could be his own boss, make a big salary and retire. Unfortunately, not much happened in that realm. Banks won’t loan money to anyone unless they have money, so the biz never took off. Consulting a bit here and there from past working relationships didn’t amount to much either. At the age of 50, his income has dropped by 60%. He works overtime as much as he can. For me, I finally took a management position. I gross $37,000 a year. We have rental properties, 401k, IRA’s…..But I don’t see retirement happening soon. Which brings me to my next point
If I didn’t work, would I still get the “Yay factor?” As in, “Hey, I worked more and can get some prime rib for dinner! Yay!” Or, Christmas is coming and I’m hoping to be able to get my family a (fill in the blank). Yay!” There is something to say about working and feeling satisfied that it was difficult, but you got through it and can afford something. ya know?
Retirement is another chapter in the book of Life. Was the journey worth the destination? Only you can decide.
As for those holiday parties/employee appreciation outings, most corporations have gotten rid of those things. So don’t feel too badly about not going.
Yeah, there’s a lot of mental gymnastics that goes into being comfortable with money once you don’t have a steady paycheck for sure.
I have a $300,000 passive income goal because more is generally better, but also having goals to strive for feels great overall. I love me a challenge.
Hi Sam, you are very spot on about the confusing feelings after early retirement. I tried it once at 54, and resigned from a career of working for one employer for 20+ years. After 2 months of early retirement, I panicked and got a new job. I see how my, yes, micromanaging supervisor, is neurotically losing his temper here and there, and have submitted my resignation after just a year and a bit, now at 55.5. But the immediate feelings are intense. Maybe I will not make it to full retirement even this time, but I do hope so. Now with just few days to go in the office, I see these people’s faces distorted with pity for me, silently wondering whether he molested me…some with sympathy, others with vindication. Its severely messed up. As soon as I walk outside from the office and feel the breeze, I know I am on the right track; and was so happy to see your message in my inbox. Will persevere.
Best of luck to you Suzie! At last you tried early retirement and did things you thought was best. You won’t look back regretting not having tried.
I think your third negative happens a lot more to people who FIRE than to people who retire at or closer to normal retirement age.
I early retired three years ago at 53 (I would not call this FIRE by current definitions). Never felt like a misfit, but reactions from others were generally of surprise (I look younger than I am), but never made me feel uncomfortable. Reactions were almost always, “wow, how were you able to do that?”. These days (now 56) reactions are less of surprise (especially once I tell them my age).
No issues whatsoever with the transition. Never been happier. Dear wife and I travel a lot and go to the gym together when home. Days are full – she is always commenting “where did the day go”. I remember other retired people telling me they don’t know how they got stuff done while they worked and thought it was a joke. Well, it is not. You find a way to fill your days with lots of fun and interesting things to do.
Work is necessary to build the nest egg to allow you to live the rest of your life. Once retired go and live your life. I never, ever think about work or what I would be doing if I were working. It’s almost as if never worked a day in my life.
Agree. The later you retire in the early retirement spectrum, the less weird you will feel simply because you are moving closer to the norm.
Hmm, now to get my wife to join me in regular exercise. That would be fun! Gotta go hiking together again.
“Nobody I know who retired from corporate life early stayed retired.”
Your research is obviously limited. You need to meet more people.
I know several who, like me, retired early and have enjoyed a fulfilling life. I retired at 56 from an engineering carreer at a global corporation, and never seriously condidered re-employment. Ten years have passed and my life is full and happy. The key is to have a strong self-identity not dependent upon a job title, a plan for financial independence, and diverse interests and commitments. Solely playing golf won’t cut it. Of course there is an adjustment, just as all major life events require adjustments. Plan for it.
Thanks for sharing. You are the first person I met who ended up relaxing and doing nothing after retiring. Expanding my perspective is one of the key reasons why I write.
What are some of your secrets for being able to not pursue new hobbies, interest, dreams, etc?
Perhaps the older you retire in the early retirement spectrum, the easier it is to just chill.
I’ve discovered so many new things I’ve wanted to do after retiring e.g. HS tennis coaching, fintech consulting, blogging, foster care volunteering.
For one, I’m very much the opposite of Sam in this regard.
IMHO, the white collar workforce offers the least gratification of any activity out there, except for the ‘Oo Ahs’ from ppl who don’t have a titled position in finance, management consulting, medicine, or engineering. Sorry, but that stuff gets old when one’s not in one’s 20s/30s anymore.
So when someone responded … “When anyone asked what I did, I would just say Consultant.”
My answer to the above is … long before you cut the cord, start your own company, XYZ Alliance Contractors (as an example), get others to freelance for you, paying them (but not yourself) and build a profile of activities which you can talk about in public. And then, when you leave the mothership ‘Corporation’, you’re not a so-called Consultant w/o a job but a ‘Director of XYZ’, even though you don’t actually do the work.
And thus, even though you’re on the computer, perhaps couple of hours per day, collaborating with others on what they did, that’s not real work. It’s more a social hour but with friends from other geographic locations. And then, what do you do with the remaining 12 hours per day?
Here’s what I did …
Tai Chi Sword & BaGua (internal martial arts)
Masters level courses in Math & Chemistry
Teach basketball
Write articles for various online journals
and finally, go out for drinks with graduates students living in my area
All and all, I had no trouble finding things to do.
I went though all the negatives of retiring early. I even wondered what the neighbors would think when they saw me at home all day long until I realized that half the neighbors had work-at-home jobs, even though they worked for major employers. When anyone asked what I did, I would just say Consultant.
Sam, you’ve clearly touched a lot of people with this article and your blog. I completely agree with the negatives of early retirement. I discovered your site in 2014, a year after being laid off/retiring from a plushy corporate job at 41. Like you, my financial journey has gone amazingly well and has completely exceeded my “middle class” expectations.
Although I had a handle on my finances, your site provided validation and a sense of community for what I was doing. It has otherwise been a lonely journey because:
1. My wife clings to her plushy corporate job like a life raft; she has little interest in enabling financial independence. I sometimes send her one of your articles to convey what I’ve been doing or what I’ve been going through.
2. No one else knows that we’re independently wealthy because, well, stealth wealth. We live well beneath our means because we are used to it and we don’t want our two young kids growing up with a sense of entitlement.
As for me, I enjoy retirement totally and am writing my third retirement book called “The Joy of Being Retired: 365 Reasons Why Retirement Rocks — and Work Sucks!” In fact, I have come with 50 Bonus Reasons to make it a total of 415 Reasons Why Retirement Rocks — and Work Sucks.
Elan in his comment mentioned my book “The Joy of Not Working” and in my reply to him I mentioned my other retirement book “How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free.”
Yesterday Daniel Richards of Andover, Massachusetts posted this on my Facebook Timeline.
“So Ernie Zelinski I read your book “How to retire happy wild and free” several times prior to my early retirement at age 59. Based on your suggestions, i did a lot of pre-planning for my retirement making sure i had plenty of activities to keep me busy. One of my interests was genealogy which i have been doing for several years. Recently however i wanted to some how to give back because i have had such a great life. I started to volunteer at a non-profit called Searchangels.org. It’s a company that finds the biological parents of adoptees. My first case was a 51 year old women who has been searching for her parents for 30 years. After 3 short weeks, I identified her mother via DNA search techniques and she made contact with her. They are going to meet next week for the first time in 51 years. Thanks to you for encouraging me to retire early, I have the time to profoundly change people’s lives forever.
Your book profoundly changed mine forever.”
There have been many insightful comments regarding retirement but I haven’t read one about what might be the most important aspect of enjoying a good retirement, being healthy enough to enjoy it. One might have all the money in the world but without your health (physical & mental), it will be difficult to enjoy all the fruits of your labor. There are so many things to do on my bucket list and they all require fairly good health.
I’ve been very fortunate to have good health by watching what I eat and exercising regularly while reducing stress as much as possible, but as I get older, the aches & pains (mostly from playing tennis) are starting to catch up. I have enjoyed operating my business for almost 30 years but after hearing of acquaintances who passed away shortly after retirement, I am more inclined to reprioritize and live a more balanced and joyful life.
Interesting article. I think I am currently suffering in some of these anxieties.
I’ve always been frugal and planned on taking it easy – if not retiring early by 55.
Well…my older sister died last year at 54 years old. She left me her $50K/year CPI adjustable state pension for life, almost $1M in cash and retirement funds, a modest fully paid for 1B/1B condo in Honolulu, a big boxful of jewelries, and 4 truckloads of stuff (she was a hoarder) I had to get rid off because I don’t need nor want 90% of it.
In the meantime in LV, I have a 3B/2B house, a 2B/2B condo (both fully paid off), an SUV (paid off), my own $500+K 401K/IRA/ROTH, and a job that can pay $100K-$150K/yr if I work “full-time” 8 months out of a year (but physically demanding and mentally boring).
I just turned 51 last year. My only child is 21 years old, don’t want to go to college, and doing her own thing. My mother who is 81 years is sickly but still lives independently. I ended an 8 years relationship 2+years ago. I already have 3 college degrees, a real estate license, and a side business as a travel consultant.
On spreadsheet, I could retire today. My retirement and brokerage accounts invested mostly in index ETFs are currently returning an average of 9% annually. My fixed expenses are barely $2000/month.
I have been hanging out here in Honolulu when Vegas heat hits over 100 or dips below 65. I don’t think I should really stay in Vegas too much since I find myself donating too much to the casinos since I can tell myself – “You can afford it.”
Right now, I feel lost. There’s only so many gym time, classes, museums, volunteer work, hobbies, hikes, travel, etc…you can do before you realize you’re just filling time.
Often, I have to do stuff alone because most normal people I know are busy working 50+ hours per week working 2-3 jobs to support and parent their 2-4 school aged kids on top of keeping their spouses happy in addition to keeping an eye on their aging parents and parents-in-law.
I do get the “must be nice” comments too. I am yet to find a short-hand version of explaining myself to people whenever they ask what I do or how I can afford to have so much time in my hands. Maybe, I will just say “I am a trust fund baby” and laugh.
I like traveling and checking out exotic places – but I hate long flights, driving long distances, and dragging luggages around. I thought of buying a $1M+ house, my dream car 2019 corvette stingray corvette convertible, a Harley, a boat, an RV, a closet full of designer swags, etc, etc – but then I will probably end up having to work just to pay for the maintenance of all that “stuff” that might impress other people but doesn’t really mean anything to me once the high of new acquisition wears off. Besides, I will have to constantly worry about all that expensive stuff breaking down or getting stolen.
So…..eventhough I love the freedom of doing what I want when I want with who I want – you’re right. Too much of anything is never a good thing. Once you – theoretically – have the power to make yourself happy, you still have to figure out exactly what it is that will sustain your happiness beyond buying more stuff and doing more things.
I am gonna try semi-retirement for now. I will do another self-assessment in 5 years.
Now that I am financially independent, I wonder about all these people who make $1+M/year and worth $1+B in equities. Why the hell do you need all that stuff?
I guess that is the reason why some people with all that money start dabbling in politics and start playing with other people’s lives – it is because they are bored and because they can.
Oh, one thing you might want to add as a downside of early retirement:
Some of the people who give you that “must be nice” snides are also the same people who now think that you should be giving them interest free loans (and not pay you back because you don’t need the money); you should be picking up the entire tab when you eat out; expect you to take them on trips and pay for all/most of it since they are providing you with company; and expect you to be in their beck on call whenever they need a ride, a baby or dog sitter, or other emergencies – because “Hey! You got all that time in your hands!”
I’m a recent Vegas transplant from the Bay Area and its odd how our struggles parallel each other to a degree. I feel a little relief knowing there’s someone pretty close by that has the same petty problems. :P
I too haven’t figured out what to tell people what I do for a living and that seems to be my biggest problem in life. LOLz.
I’m 10 years your junior though and I stopped seriously working since 34. I don’t think much will change if you decide to retire based on my experience. These are the same lingering problems I had years ago. I imagine finding another SO will take priority now. Curious to what that would be like coming from you.
Things keep getting easier as I get older except making friends have been really hard. Lucky my wife is here and not sick of me yet. And my kids are still young.
The comments about being lost, doing stuff alone cuz everyone is working and just doing things to fill time really struck a chord with me. Oh well, good problems to have I suppose. Fortunate to be naturally happy despite it.
Excellent. While I retired more traditionally at age 63, I have experienced many of the issues you cite from your experience.
Even as I am building my own chess blog and chess coaching business, unconventionalchess.com, I get a lot of blank stares in terms of how I am trying to transition to being a full time entrepreneur. Most people today have a narrow conception of what life is all about because of either classical conditioning or societal peer pressure. I can’t give a damn at this point about what they do because my future can only be decided by me. So that is why the idea of making a living by doing something other than a W-2 confuses people. You have to stay true to your values. The only reason why someone would get bored in “early retirement” is because they haven’t had shock therapy. I remember reading a book by Ernie Zelinski called The Joy of Not Working, and there are so many things one can do in life that if someone is still “bored” after that, then what a shame. Being bored is a mindset problem not that life is inherently boring.
Elan: Great comment. Also, thanks for mentioning my book “The Joy of Not Working.” I also wrote a book called “How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free” which has now sold over 375,000 copies and has resulted in many people emailing me and writing to me about how the book has helped them retire happy. If you go to my website, you will find my email address there. Send me your address and I will send you a complimentary autographed copy of “How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free”. Alternatively, I can send you a copy of “Career Success Without a Real Job.”
Hey Ernie,
I hope you got my e-mail and would love a copy of your book “Career Success Without a Real Job”. I sent my e-mail to two e-mail addresses as I am not sure which one is better. Can’t wait to hear from you! I can’t even remember how many times I have read “The Joy of Not Working” but will read it again tomorrow just to remember my roots when reading that wonderful book.
Elan
Erie Zelinski, I always recommend “How to Retire Happy, Wild and Free” to friends contemplating retirement. “What will I do to keep busy” is a hot topic with the “in our 50’s” crowd. Your book helped me a lot and I refer back to it often if I’m feeling a little bored.
Everyone looking at this blog sound read Ernies book!
Good stuff, Sam. I retired at 55, which was considered ‘early’ by my peers, but not by FIRE standards. My experience isn’t quite as ‘jarring’ as yours in that I generally look the part of a 55-65 year old guy. I fill a lot of time with selfish ‘giving’; I volunteer as a High Performance Driver Education (HPDE) Instructor. I have fun, I get to engage with a wide variety of people (teens to retirees) and it adds some structure to my retirement. My wife (also retired) has churned through a few activities to fill her time, and she made the observation that I’m lucky to have found something that I enjoy and where people appreciate what I do. She is in search of her next big thing.
My students often ask me “what I do”. I have to admit that saying I worked thirty years in engineering for Boeing and then retired is probably my way of saying, “I earned this” and avoiding the “trust fund” status. Still, I do get a few rueful “must be nice” responses.
Keep on keeping on.
Completely understand where your coming from. I retired twice (20 & 30’s) and got stir crazy after a year so went back to work at a full time job and full time investments.
Great article. Thank you for giving us an unvarnished look at extreme early retirement.
I’d like to counter your statement that introverts would have an easier time with early retirement. Extroverts have the tools and reward centers to go out and make new friends in early retirement.
Introverts don’t have these reward and many may not have developed the tools to make relationships. Indeed, having the structure of work and coworkers may have facilitated introverts’ ability to form relationships in a familiar environment. When the work is gone, what does an introvert do?
I make this point because introversion is not about being alone. That is a loner.
While an introvert doesn’t get the same payoff from socializing, an introvert in early retirement still wants close relationships and could have a hard time developing those. Of course, being part of a family would help.
Thanks again for presenting both sides of early retirements.
Hi Sam, thanks for being open and honest, it’s hard to share struggles, even past ones, it is for for me anyway. I wouldn’t want people to realize I don’t live a perfect life What struck me most about this post is what you said about visiting a bunch of European Churches and meditating. I’ve sought a lot of things in life to bring me a sense of purpose and joy but found nothing on Earth gave me an everlasting joy or happiness, so I looked for it elsewhere and have found it in church (some churches anyway). I was wondering what you found, or didn’t find, in church and meditation?
Thanks for talking about the parts of FIRE that aren’t so glorious and being real with us!
I think the secret should be to have a plan for what you are going to do when you retire early. To quote Timothy Ferris in his 4-Hour WorkWeek book, liberation should have some sort of a plan. If it is being an activist, then use your time on that. If it is to travel, then travel. The key is to find something that you can do and perhaps not interact as much with other people.