Financial Samurai

My younger (22) year old brother just graduated from Uni and moved back in with my parents. He’s not too excited about it, but he figures sucking it up for a year and paying off his loans in one year is better than having his own place for babes and many years of interest payments.

Notre Dame master’s of education graduate is having a hard time finding a teaching job, so he’s getting a second master’s, living at home, and paying zero expense (free rent, water, elec, tv, food, ….) He’s not happy about it. Dad is not too happy about it. But it’s working for him at this time, and once he gets a better job (ie a real job) he will get out of the house debt free.

It may not be how we did it, but what is so wrong with that?

CG

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Financial Samurai Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 6:06 am

Nothing wrong with it at all! And more power to him if he can bring home a lovely chica while the parents aren’t looking.

I had the best time trying to sneak friends over in my youth. Bigger the house the better!

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Only guys can be embarrassed by still living with their parents? Though I don’t have a penis, I can’t imagine moving back in with my parents after I graduate. (For the record though, I don’t think they can either.) The independence is also WAY too much fun – also there’s a 90% chance I won’t be moving back to my hometown anyway; the career field I want to work in doesn’t have a strong base there.

By the way I’m kidding – I’m not one of those feminazis Rush Limbaugh warned you about. But back to the question at hand, a good number of my graduated friends live at home, and a few of my friends skipped out on dorm life to save the $$. So I guess I would say it’s a little more common/accepted to mooch off your parents for a few extra years.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 6:08 am

Wait, you still don’t have a penis? lol. What did Rush warn us about? Honestly, I don’t follow him or anything he says.

Do you think it’s more acceptable for women to live at home with parents than men? If so, why?

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Lindsay Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:22 am

I don’t know if it’s more acceptable, it’s probably talked about less or at least not as looked down upon. It’s gotta be because of old social norms though – the woman not become truly independent until she marries and becomes part of another family. Hey, at least times have changed though. My parents wouldn’t dream of letting me move back in after graduation – without paying anyway.

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Wow, you make it sound like a long-term option! Not a chance! Living at home should be for a year or two at most. It shouldn’t be to build up enough savings to move into a place on your own. It should be if you don’t have a job or if you need to dig yourself out of debt.

If you can’t live on your own and save money, then you’re going to be the 35 year old guy who still lives with his parents! The only positive to that is that people will start to believe that it’s your house and you really are taking care of them!

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Financial Samurai Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 6:09 am

Exactly! Not so bad chilling with the parents and actually returning the favor and taking care of them? I know a lot of parents who would LOVE to have their children come live with them, b/c it’s less lonely, and the house is big enough for them.

Nostalgia is powerful!

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I think it is a lot more common now than it was when I was in my early 20s. As a matter of fact, I didn’t know anybody that lived at home once they got out of school. However, jobs were easier to get back then. Now, people are losing their jobs or getting divorced, and end up back home with mom.

I believe George Costanza tried to convince his girlfriend that his parent’s home was actually his. Gosh I miss Seinfeld.

By the way, the DJs on the radio were ironically discussing how many people are living with their parents today. The consensus was that parents are too soft and that people aren’t willing to work hard enough.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 8:32 am

That’s a tough consensus bc the economy sucks so bad. I’m sure if people had an opportunity to work, they would.

The parallel is with the 99 weeks of unemployment insurance. At some point, it may be easier to just collect for the entire time.

Gosh, I hope I don’t come across as an insensitive bastard in this post!

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Everyday Tips Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 5:00 am

I didn’t think you came across as insensitive at all. No worries there.

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I definitely think to avoid loans building up and save some savings it’s worthwhile. A year or two after you will be free and would have avoided the fate of many of your fellow graduates.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 8:33 am

What is the fate? Independence?

Saving money is good. Guess the question is how so.

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Forest Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 8:42 am

Swimming in debt, trying to make repayments and build a career from the bottom of the ladder. Doesn’t happen like that for everyone but right now it’s pretty common.

Personally I left home at 16 and I struggled but would not go back and change that!

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Financial Samurai Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 8:52 am

If u wouldn’t change a thing then you believe it is right to start from the bottom, and work your way up and out of debt!

I know you were satirizing the whole situation, Sam. That said: Anyone who asks his or her parents if it’s OK to move back in had better be willing to chip in. If they won’t take money, then do your own laundry and do some basic housekeeping in the rest of the place in addition to keeping your room clean. Help with the yard work. Cook an occasional meal. Volunteer to do errands.
Most importantly: Do as many of these things as you can without comment. Don’t say, “I just swept the kitchen!” You don’t get a gold star for doing your share.
Seriously, folks: They raised you. You’re an adult. Don’t revert to childhood and drop your laundry by the washing machine, or whine that there’s nothing to eat around here.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 8:36 am

Donna, I vote ur comment as the best comment of the morning! Well said and I totally agree!

It’s fine to live at home, but one better pitch in and cook and clean and pay the bills with no complaints or else get outta there

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John P Reply:
December 17th, 2010 at 1:05 pm

Damn straight, Skippy! When my sisters and I turned 16 the Federal Government (of Australia) decreased my parents’ pension (both were on permanent Disability) and gave the money directly to us, because we were still in school. 16 years old and the Govt. paid us (IIRC) over $400/month just to stay in school.

Being 16 and living at home $400/month seemed a huge amount to us, and free money to boot. Until Mum & Dad explained that the money the Govt was giving us was money they were no longer receiving themselves. It seemed only fair to us to hand over a large share to them. At the time (25 years ago) we were getting about $20/month allowance, so damn right $400 seemed like a lot. Even the $100/month we kept, after handing over $300 to Mum & Dad for ‘board’, was a decent amount to us. And why shouldn’t we give Mum & Dad some of ‘our’ money? We weren’t paying for food, or gas, or water, or electricity. Mum was still doing my laundry, cooking my meals, etc. It was only fair.

Later I would get a full-time job but as I was still living at home I still paid ‘board’. In fact on my own volition I even increased how much board I was paying, just to help Mum & Dad out. As I also checked the mail I even used to intercept the bills and pay them sometimes, except I’d forget to tell Mum. That caused her some concern when the gas bill or the electricity bill “didn’t arrive” and only then would I remember I’d paid it for her :D

I used to ride the train to work with a few guys, one of whom was doing his apprenticeship. He was in his final year so he was almost making Journeyman wages, and believe me, skilled Blue Collar laborers make a decent wage, especially when they still live at home like this guy did. I remember him complaining to us that his Mum had stopped making his lunch for him (he’s in his 20s, and his Mum was still making his lunch) so he said he was going to stop paying ‘Board’. Turns out he’s paying $10/month. And he was dead serious. Living at home and paying $10/month ‘board’ and he was complaining because his Mum wouldn’t make his lunch anymore.

I lived with Mum & Dad until I was in my late 20s when I moved out into my own house, but I always paid my own way. I paid board, I paid the bills, and I took care of things around the house whenever necessary. There is no shame in living with your parents in your 20s, not unless you have something to be ashamed of, such as being a free loader.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
December 18th, 2010 at 6:35 am

Wow, late 20s! My main question is: Did you get any babes? And if you did, do you think you could have got more babes if you went solo?

My wife lived with her parents up until she moved in with me, 15 years post-college. Most of the people I went to high school with lived with their parents through college. Guess what? We didn’t have student loans hanging over our heads after graduation.

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Okay, Sam. I have a brother who just turned 30 and still lives with Mom and Dad! Let me just set the record straight here: He isn’t getting any girls! And I’m pretty sure any girl would think it’s not very sexy.

Now, I’m not saying that living with the parents is a bad choice. It can work favorably for a person’s finances if they’re saving up for a down payment on a house or paying off their student loans while working. However, if they’re mooching off their parents, having mom cook and do their laundry while they sit around and play video games, well then that’s just not right.

Do I sound biased? Maybe a bit jealous? DEFINITELY!

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Financial Samurai Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 8:42 am

So you THINK he doesn’t get any girls, but I bet he is getting busy left and right especially after you forward this post to him!

I’m jealous of my 27 year old neighbor living with grandma too! I love weekly apple pies and a free Volvo to drive!

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In all fairness, I know plenty of people from different cultures where the kids stay home longer until they finish university, but after that yeah then it’s usually time to move out. I moved out myself when I had just started, but my circumstances were special. If you can stay at home then why not? Why waste hundreds of dollars a month while you’re still studying and not even working?

On the other hand, it’s possible to get too comfortable. I know a guy that ended up playing WoW for two years, literally in the parent’s basement. It’s their fault for letting him do that, though.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 8:19 am

Does the guy you know who plays World of Warcraft and Starcraft 2 look like the guy in the picture?

The first couple years is fine, but afterwards I donno. I’d buy a tent and live in he park.

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Kevin@InvestItWisely Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 8:24 am

LOL, no, he looks “normal”. He was very sensitive to sunlight the first couple of weeks he went back out into the world, though, and his dress code consisted of black & white.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 8:37 am

Black and white and maybe a shotgun underneath the trench coat?

Kevin@InvestItWisely Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 8:39 am

Only a t-shirt, so it will be a little harder to hide it ;) I live in Canada too, so maybe a shuriken is more likely than a shotgun (actually come to think of it, I think those are banned here, too).

Nothing wrong in staying with your parents a couple of years after university is finished. that’s how i was able to put together a down payment on a nice condo and then move up quickly to a house. Looking back, it was worth it!

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Financial Samurai Reply:
December 30th, 2010 at 8:42 am

The question though is…. how did you get girls?!

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BeatingTheIndex Reply:
December 30th, 2010 at 8:48 am

I had a gf for 5 years (3 while studying, 2 when I started working) before I got married to her all the while I was still with my parents. I don’t see the problem.

You get girls the same way everyone else does, online, school, friends….

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Financial Samurai Reply:
December 30th, 2010 at 8:50 am

That is sweat! OK, so I am delusional then. It isn’t hard to get girls if you live at home with Mom & Dad, and this post is a waste of time!

I lived with my parents until I was 28. I had a girlfriend who at the time bitching at me living at home “you make enough money”, yet herself was also living at home. I was also paying rent to my parents $300/mo.

Sam, I think you could relate to this also, I had a really crappy car too (otherwise known as a “station car” for the train station)

I had a goal though, I was saving for a condo. In retrospect it was the best decision and investment I ever did.

Not everyone living at home are “loosers”.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 10:46 am

See! Who says u can’t get a girl if you are living at home in adulthood? It’s totally possible and guys living at home need to know it! Empowerment man, not not just Starcraft gaming all night long!

I don’t think adults living at home are losers. Only some pesky girlfriends do. Gotta change their biases!

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I dunno. A good friend of mine from college ended up moving back in with moms after he left school as a result of “spending too much time on the other Dean’s List” (his own words) and ended up living there for about 8 years. With no rent and easy the easy credit of the early 2000′s, he was able get some nice toys and managed to meet some ladies off the net, a few of which he ended up seeing long term. Evidently girl he ended up marrying didn’t care about his residence, although I think he probably spent most of his time at her place before he officially moved in with her.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
December 30th, 2010 at 8:43 am

Eh? “Spending too much time on the other Dean’s list”? Sounds kinky, but maybe not.

EIGHT YEARS though? By golly that’s nuts!

But, at the end of the day, he got married, so good for him!

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@Pineview Style
Wow, a reverse T.O.P. (Take Over Payments). This guy is a master. I have to teach this to my son. ;-)

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This post was epic! I had tears in my eyes the whole way through it :) I think if you are an adult 30yrs + and you are NOT taking care of your parents or a contributing factor that allows them to stay in the home then you probably won’t be taking any dates home. If there’s a legit reason to it – outside of frugality- then I think people can relate to it. Your not “staying” there you are “helping”. Great post!

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Financial Samurai Reply:
December 30th, 2010 at 8:44 am

Thnx mate. I would make the house spotless for my parents, that’s for sure. Too bad I can’t cook for SQUADOOSH, so I can’t help there. I’d do my own laundry too and water the garden :O)

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more kids (despite their age) are being forced to move in and live as a joint family in these economic times. we hear couples, even couples with kids/single parents move in with their parents to get through tough times. a friend of mine moved from new york back to MI to live with his parents because his mom and dad had both lost their jobs. by living with them and working, he was able to help out on payments and prevent foreclosure. what a role model – Nick that’s for you!

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Financial Samurai Reply:
December 30th, 2010 at 8:45 am

Now THAT is an honorable thing to do! Oh gosh, poor parents. That is super fantastico of their son. Great work Nick!

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Sunil from The Extra Money Blog Reply:
January 1st, 2011 at 10:50 pm

Can’t ask for a better model….

That said, heck with the parents’ home, just spend time at your gf’s apartment? lol

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I not only have my 24 y/o son at home but now my 29 y/o moved back (having marital issues). They’re not embarrassed as so many of their friends are still living with the ‘rents.

The youngest is still in paramedic training (hopefully done in a few months) and the oldest can’t afford a place now. I’m sure they’d rather be somewhere else with more privacy and perks. I try not to make it too comfortable so no laundry or short order cook services here.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
August 31st, 2010 at 6:43 pm

Hi Kay Lynn, it is great your sons are able to live back home with you and have a loving mother to support them in their time of need. That is what family is all about!

Good for your youngest to work in paramedic training, and save money in the process! That is an excellent endeavor by him.

Can you share with us your thoughts on parents wanting their kids to move back home with them? It’s generally the kids who are like no way (attitude of this post), but would love to hear it from a parent’s point of view.

I like @Donna Freedman’s thoughts too: “I know you were satirizing the whole situation, Sam. That said: Anyone who asks his or her parents if it’s OK to move back in had better be willing to chip in. If they won’t take money, then do your own laundry and do some basic housekeeping in the rest of the place in addition to keeping your room clean. Help with the yard work. Cook an occasional meal. Volunteer to do errands.

Most importantly: Do as many of these things as you can without comment. Don’t say, “I just swept the kitchen!” You don’t get a gold star for doing your share.
Seriously, folks: They raised you. You’re an adult. Don’t revert to childhood and drop your laundry by the washing machine, or whine that there’s nothing to eat around here.”

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Bucksome Boomer Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 8:40 am

We really don’t want the kids living here at their ages but understand that it is thebest (only) option at this point. They don’t expect us to include them in our plans (vacation, dinner or others) and do keep up their own rooms/laundry, etc.

We haven’t asked them to chip in more other than cleaning the bathrooms they use. There isn’t any yard work due to the condo and my husband is retired and keeps up the home while they both work (as do I).

We’ll house them until they’re able to support their selves but want to push them hout as soon as possible. I want my guest room back!

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Financial Samurai Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 5:39 pm

Ahhh… gotcha, so they are all together with you in a condo. That’s a little tougher!!

I hear you on the guest room/extra room! Sometimes, things can get a little suffocating!

Good luck to all!

How to get girls while living with Mom and Dad? Simple– think outside the box (aka your parents house). I temporarily moved back with my parents three times in my twenties–one, to save for a down payment, and the other two times, I was between apartments.

First, don’t be a loser who plays WoW all day. Have some ambition, live an interesting life and do something extraordinary– While living at home, I ended up producing a feature length film that is available in 5 countries.

Next, find a girl with her own place. Doing something extraordinary will compensate for the fact that you had to move back into your parents in the first place.

Now, if you don’t want a girlfriend, go travel around the world instead. Through my travels, I’ve met many wonderful women from various countries; Met an Irish girl in Brazil, a beautiful German in New Zealand– many months down the road, I got to visit their beautiful countries for a fraction of what it normally would cost to do so–always a free place to stay.

Again, you can also spin this upon your return back to the states– Girls will love to hear about your adventures around the world, rather than what your mom cooked you for dinner the night before.

When it comes down to it though, in this economy, people should consider themselves lucky that they have a place to go when times are tough. Many people don’t have that option.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 5:40 pm

Sounds like a great plan, and a great life Mike! Can I play Starcraft II for 6 hours a day though if I forsake WoW??

Thanks for your thoughts. Your last point is spot on.

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Love this post!! Living with your parents b/c you’re down on your luck financially is one thing but living with them because you’re too lazy to become independent is just down right sad. On the topic of adults living with their parents, a decent romantic comedy about a guy crashing with his parents I watched on tv the other day is Failure to Launch with Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Classic post! Just had to click it with a title like that. Some wise advice for any Gen Y’ers out there. Maintaining a social life IS expensive but the ‘action’ you get post-parent living arrangements far outweighs the cons.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 5:42 pm

What “action” you talking about Brad? There’s a great movie called “40 Year Old Virgin”. Pretty cool movie!

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Weel, may you won’t believe me but in Spain most of young people stay with their parent until their 30′s. Only if they move to another city they rent somewhere to live.
People believe that renting is thourwing money to the barbage so the wait until they can buy a house.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 5:42 pm

No, I believe it completely. It’s totally normal in Europe and Asia. It’s so interesting how in the US, we emphasize independence SO MUCH. Family is family, right? Right.

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Forgot to mention one of the “top pick-up lines used by ‘Star Wars’ fans”:
“Your place or my mom’s?”

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Financial Samurai Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 11:46 am

Oh my gosh, that is too awesome a pickup line!!

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Hmmm, I suppose I would pretend that one of my friend’s apartment is where I lived… I would never take a girlfriend to my parent’s home. I think I would also act like a minimalist, that would explain my lack of furniture and even a bed…

Then I’d act like my roommate was a jerk and hang out at her house as much as possible.

Then if I had too, I would eventually say I’m sick of my roommate and that I have decided to move in with my parents… Muahaha

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Financial Samurai Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 11:50 am

Very calculated and sneaky of u Don! Would u tell her u live at home wig he parents before or after…… U know….. Holding hands ?

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Living at home after college sucks indeed. I had to do this for a few months after college, and I could not WAIT to get out!! Right now, I miss home mostly because it’s 50x cleaner than my current residence and doesn’t smell like dog hair/crap….

I think that living at home while in your 20s as a bad this is mostly an American thing, though I cannot be positive. I do know that in many other cultures there’s nothing wrong with living at home, and if you move out, either you are doing well, or somethings up…

I honestly kind of wish I would have lived at home for at least a year after college… I paid around $750 in rent+utilities my first year after college, compared to $200 at home….. In a year I would have $6,600 more, technically speaking… If that were the case, I’d be a lot close to being debt free right now!!

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Financial Samurai Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 5:44 pm

I think you built more character going on your own after that few first months.

$6,600 is chump change in the scheme of things. And besides, there’s NO WAY you would have saved the $6,600. You would have spent part of it on stupid stuff.

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I find this article very satirical (and i hope that was the intent). I would never go back to live at home with the parents even though they would love for me to (I’m very useful around the house). I’m unemployed and have very little money coming in right now… I have rent, car payment, student loans, bills, etc… but I just make lifestyle changes to meet those needs. I wouldn’t blame the economy per say, but the spending habits of the new college graduate generation. In regards to taking a girl home to the parents house. NEVER. I guess I get embarrassed easily.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 5:38 pm

What’s satire?

Why do you have car payments? Isn’t it better to just pay cash and spend 1/10th your income on a car instead? Perhaps get rid of the car and ride the bus like I do might be a good move.

You’re right about other countries being fine with adult kids living at home with parents until they marry or something.

thnx for sharing your thoughts, and at least, you have some website you’re working on!

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That’s a sexy picture you go there. Is that you? =)

It is interesting how North American culture values independence so much =)

I guess in the cultures where the children live at home, they also are expected to take care of their parents when they get elderly too, whereas in a North American culture, we dump’em in a nursing home =)

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Financial Samurai Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 6:31 pm

Yes, that is my sexy picture I just took last week! Hoorah!

Good point about nursing homes, and expectations of taking care of parents as the flip side of it all!

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Your post cracked me up :)

But, I do think there’s a difference between living at home and “living off” your parents, and living at home as a contributing member of the household (ie someone who shares expenses/pays rent.)

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Financial Samurai Reply:
September 5th, 2010 at 9:47 am

Thanks! :) I find so many things so silly in the world, so it’s always good to poke good fun at things once in a while.

Living off one’s parents as a grown adult is tough. I’d feel bad!

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Hey, I resemble those remarks! Or at least I did for most of my post college career. At least the moving back into my mother’s basement part; I did my best to contribute to the household funds, at least whenever I was working. Anyway, onto the other questions:

[i]What do you think about grown adults who still live off their parents?[/i]

Well, it depends on the exact situation; there’s a big difference between living [i]with[/i] your parents, which has become acceptable, even common, and living [i]off[/i] them, not contributing materially to the household at all.

[i]Has living at home with your parents become more acceptable nowadays?[/i]

As mentioned, yes, yes it has. One of the terms my generation (Generation Y, by the way) has been saddled with is the ‘boomerang generation’, describing our tendency to return to our parents’ houses after they’ve thrown us into the real world. For the past decade or so, a string of economic shortfalls and soaring housing prices have kept most people my age, even those who are/were gainfully employed, from getting a place of our own immediately out of school. (Personally, one thing that kept me from moving out is the temporary nature of most of the jobs I’ve held since graduating; you don’t want to saddle yourself with a rent (to say nothing of a mortgage) that you won’t be able to make if your employers don’t want to keep you as a full time worker when your temporary position ends.)

The point being, there are quite a few factors leading Gen Y to be more tolerant of the ‘boomerangers’ in our midst than previous generations might have been. That said, there is a definite ‘statue of limitations’ on how long you can stay with your parents before it starts to get socially awkward. For example:

During your college years (late teens/very early twenties): Perfectly acceptable, although you better have a buddy’s house or something if you’re hoping to have any sort of parties.
Right out of college(early twenties): Not too bad; as mentioned, moving back until you get a job and get on your feet is becoming par for the course, so you’re in good company. Just don’t overstay your welcome…
Mid Twenties: It’s starting to get a little weird; you’ve probably had friends or family your age who have married, gotten their own places, and started to have kids. You’re not completely alone in doing this, but you’re probably not being truly forthcoming when describing your living conditions to your social circle/potential romantic partners.
Late Twenties: By this point, unless you have some powerful mitigating circumstances (recent (in the last three-six months recent) job loss, invalid parent you care for, etc.), you’re going to have a hard time justifying your living arrangements.
Thirties and Beyond: By the time you have your thirtieth birthday, living with your parents gets just plain weird (and I say this as someone who ‘boomeranged’ for nearly three years himself). Even among Gen Yers, you’re still one Klingon costume away from being a complete social misfit (and the assumption is that you have a Klingon costume hidden away, anyway).

[i]Is it more socially acceptable if adult women still live at home with their parents? If so, why do you think that is?[/i]

I think historically it has been more acceptable for women to live with their parents; as mentioned by other commentators, traditionally a woman would live with her parents until she was married (which also seems, at least to an after the fact observer like me, to have happened much earlier than is normal for many people in my generation). Interestingly, I think that’s it’s becoming less acceptable as females have become more ‘empowered’; if I encountered a twenty-eight year old woman living at home, my first assumption wouldn’t be ‘Oh, she’s waiting for an appropriate suitor to marry,’ it would be more like ‘what’s keeping her from moving out on her own, already?’. Essentially, the same reaction I’d have to a male in the same situation.

[i]Any other tips on getting girls if you live at home with your parents?[/i]

Well, I can’t speak to any universal truths about picking up women (or men, if that’s your preferred cup of tea) when living at home, but I did meet and begin dating my now fiancee back when I was still living in my mother’s basement, so I’ll give it my best. Having a job of your own is definitely a big plus in the eyes of potential romantic partners; it’s the difference between being a stereotypical slacker and having dating potential. Pursuing someone who shares your interests is always a good idea; if you are the stereotypical geek, why not play to your strengths and try to seduce another geek? Lastly, having somewhere else to go for your trysts, besides your room at your mom’s house, is definitely a good idea. Rent a hotel room if you must; few things kill the mood faster than your parents suddenly dropping in or hollering up at you.

There you go, a few tips to getting the girl, even as you’re rocking a basement apartment at your mom’s house.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
September 5th, 2010 at 9:49 am

Man, what an awesomely long and thoughtful response! Thanks Rog, and welcome back! I missed your comments!

That is great you got your girl while living at home in your mom’s basement! Didn’t realize my post could have described you.

I can see the parents hollering as a mood killer for sure!

Cheers, Sam

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I don’t think there’s any shame in living at home with mom and dad for a few years. It can be a big boost to sock away money for a few years. But if you start getting too old and still living at home like Cliff Clavin, well that might be a problem. :)

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Financial Samurai Reply:
September 5th, 2010 at 9:49 am

Sorry, but who is Cliff Clavin?

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Mike - Saving Money Today Reply:
September 5th, 2010 at 10:04 am

Seriously? I’m only a couple of years older than you! Cliff Clavin was a character from Cheers…took a lot of teasing from his buddies for living with his mom at like 45. And he NEVER got the girl.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cliff_Clavin

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Financial Samurai Reply:
September 5th, 2010 at 10:06 am

Oh, Cliff from Cheers! Of course I know him. Clavin, not so much.

I dated a guy who has lived with with his parents for going on 3 years at age 27… He has a great job, new car, epic kill ratio in COD: MW and a brand new ex-gf, lol. He did go to some college and lived in apartments with roommates for a few years but moved home when he had two pretty major surgeries. His mother has bent over backward to get him to stay there as long as possible (like forever). She thrives on taking care of him; buying groceries, cooking, laundry, dry cleaning, household chores, prescription refills, you name it! I almost wanted to live there (she loved my dog and was the greatest, free dog-sitter)! Its like a tiny hotel minus valet parking. I guess this is the opposite of most parents sentiments on the situation, but it may just be his mom, I’m sure dad would like more peace and quiet.

I knew him long before he moved back home but I’m not so sure how the dating is going to go with his very nosy mom. Not having another place to go is definitely a deal breaker!

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Financial Samurai Reply:
September 3rd, 2010 at 9:53 am

What a nice mom! Two surgeries is fought tho, and bein able to live at home with the parents is awesome as a result!

Also, your example shows that ladies can dig guys who live at home!

Cheers

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Im 26 y/o asian living with my parents. Mother is unemployed cos she made 8 child.. Father got fired and he has mortgage of 77 000€ and he gets money from Union only 1000€ net plus having 4 under 18 child that goes school and 2 other who are currently doing their military services.

My and my sister 28 y/o still lives at home. The money we bring home helps familys economy and keeps our house beeing sold because living with rent with this big family cost as much as mortgage …Ofcourse one day we will move out but until then this is how we live.. Im doing as much OT I can so to support parents and others plus Im saving money to my own house.

I dont have girlfriend as u have guessed ^_^. My co-workers smile when they hear I live with my parents ..well atleast my parents dont need to worry about their house..

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Financial Samurai Reply:
September 5th, 2010 at 9:51 am

Hey Erdon, that’s admirable that you are living at home helping take care of your parents!

What are your thoughts of couples having too many children? 8 children sound like a lot no? But, in your respect, the parents are getting helping for you guys, so that’s good right?

All the money in the world couldn’t replace having the love of my life. That’s why getting girls is actually quite important for me!

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I think it depends on the circumstances, Sam!

After I graduated from college back in 1988, my folks let me live at home. For rent, they made me put $550 in a savings account for a down payment on a home. Within 15 months, I was able to apply the money I had saved to get my own house.

Now, if my kids want the same deal, they’ve got it. However, if they plan on living here in their 20s scott-free, well, they’ve got another thing coming! :-)

Best,

Len
Len Penzo dot Com

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Financial Samurai Reply:
September 5th, 2010 at 9:52 am

You have wise parents Len! Good for them for making you put $550/month in savings cuz you know you would have blown it otherwise.

And since you got a free deal, good that your kids can live back home with Dad when they are in their 20′s too!

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My BIL lived in my IL’s basement with his wife and toddler for about a year while he was unemployed after he got laid off. His wife, a college graduate, refused to try to find any work with a toddler to take care of, so it was all on him. He seemed pretty stressed about the whole experience. Thankfully his industry picked up and he landed another job and they moved back out. She’s pregnant again… last I heard she was hoping for 10 kids. I think the ILs liked having the grandkid around. They still have a ton of stuff in paid storage, which I just don’t understand.

There’s a lot of things I don’t understand when it comes to other people and money.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
September 4th, 2010 at 5:33 pm

10 kids? Are you kidding me? If the guy was unemployed for 1 year, MAYBE they shouldn’t be having another kid?

http://www.financialsamurai.com/2010/04/19/please-dont-have-children-if-you-cant-take-care-of-yourself-orphans/

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Financial Samurai Reply:
September 4th, 2010 at 5:36 pm

I donno about having more than 2 kids if she doesn’t work, and he was laid off for 1 yr!

http://www.financialsamurai.com/2010/04/19/please-dont-have-children-if-you-cant-take-care-of-yourself-orphans/

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Interesting post, but from a parents point of view….when I graduated high school, I got a minimum wage job , and that paid enough money that I could share an apartment, get a used car, and go to college part time, there is NO WAY you could do that today. My 22 yr old has moved in and out several times due to money problems. I would never tell her that she can’t come back, but we do have house rules. Nothing too tough, but if she doesn’t like it, she is free to go hold down the sofa at one of her friends places instead. Conversely speaking, a few of her friends have landed here for a day/week/month also. Jobs are hard to find, housing costs are going up, and wages aren’t. What can you do??

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Financial Samurai Reply:
September 4th, 2010 at 5:29 pm

Can do much in this economy if you’re looking except to keep on looking. It’s good you are housing your 22yrd old. My neighbors are working, but live at home with grandma. I believe two of them are lawyers, hence, not like they can’t afford their own place!

I wonder what your 22 yr old would think of this post?

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It’s funny but in my experience (as a 25-yr old myself), I tend to come across guys living at home much more often than females. I try to avoid dating men that live with their parents – you’re never fully grown and independent until you’re paying for all your own living expenses on your own.

I love my current Brooklyn studio, but if my mom lived in NYC, I probably would have lived with her until I saved up enough money to purchase my own closet somewhere in Manhattan for way too much money – that would be GREAT! But alas, I will probably rent for another few years until I have enough to finally make that first real estate investment.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
December 18th, 2010 at 6:30 am

Hmmmm, that is a weird phenomena that guys would live at home more than girls. I wonder why that is, since parents often fear more for the safety of their daughters.

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I should take into consideration your advice in case my boy try to do those moves! Maybe give him some advice!

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Funny stuff. I think society has softened some on the grown-ups living with their parents, but would think it would be a difficult sell in the romance game.

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When I graduated from college in 1988, I had the opinion that everyone should live at least three months away from the parents’ home before getting married. Ideally: you need to show yourself what it takes to keep a roof over your head. If you can’t live financially independent, at least you can learn what it is like to live in a different community. That experience will be a big help should a job situation force you into a move.

Some of the ways that I saw my contemporaries and siblings do that in the 1980s / 1990s still work. Military service, study abroad semester while in college, even living a summer with auntie still are good options. And more colleges these days have on-campus apartments where students can get used to buying their own groceries and doing their own housekeeping — but have the financial security of paying rent by the semester rather than by the month.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
December 18th, 2010 at 6:31 am

Sounds like a good plan to me. Even 3 months on the street, if one were to take it to extremes is not that long… well maybe that’s too extreme if you don’t have to. That said, the point you are making is about teaching kids independence.

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Lol just can’t stop blushing. Man i guess you must be good at scoping babes! Living with your parent at that age is not a bad idea but in my country its not a good idea! Lol umm…for me i don’t feel comfortable with the idea of inviting babes to my house when my parents are at home. I prefer taking her to a friends house and we both enjoy ourselves lol hahahaha. Thanks for sharing.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
December 18th, 2010 at 6:32 am

Hahaha, nice! Next time you are at your buddies place, bring him a six pack of beer as a thank you!

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I am one of those guys who still lives with his parents! As a 24-year-old graduate student, attending master studies while working full-time, free rent, food, tv etc is a great living discount! Why would I waste more than $200 per month just to “rent” privacy ? How about saving that money in a bank account and getting interest on it? Besides, mom and dad are happy for me living with them. Where I live, staying with parents is nothing unusual.

Financial security is my primary concern – babes are on the 2nd place, because they are replaceable. But should one different come, she would not mind me living with parents.

Great post, btw. Fin Sam, why would you move out by all means?

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Financial Samurai Reply:
December 18th, 2010 at 6:34 am

Are “babes” more replaceable than money? Donno mate, I think money is EASILY replaceable and earnable, whereas with women…. they are unique and more effort doesn’t necessarily allow you to get more.

Think about that one!

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The reason Americans are so different about not living with our parents or grandparents compared to other cultures is because it’s been marketed to us. Every separate house/apartment/condo requires material goods to fill them and manage them, and every separate property requires separate yard or landscaping care, which means someone makes more money when we believe there is something wrong with sharing homes with relatives of different generations.

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Dave Reply:
October 8th, 2010 at 7:27 am

Absolutely true, B! Marketing is a powerful weapon. I would not move out of home without a very good reason, although I have the money to afford that

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Financial Samurai Reply:
December 30th, 2010 at 5:06 pm

Hmmm, that is a pretty plausible explanation. Good conspiracy theory and way to blame others for us not going out on our own. I like it!

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B Reply:
December 31st, 2010 at 1:19 am

@ Financial Samurai:

I do hope you are kidding, and not just woefully ignorant of cultural social development and historical context.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
December 31st, 2010 at 2:50 am

I’m ignorant. Share more about your experience living at home with your parents! Thnx!

I wrote an article that discusses top reasons why you should stay with your parents

http://gethappylife.com/personal-finance/5-reasons-to-stay-with-yourparents-rather-than-move-out/

If you feel like discussing, I would like to know what do you think – which choice is better to stay with parents or to move out ?

I think that unless privacy is considered absolutely necessary, then staying at home is better.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
December 30th, 2010 at 5:07 pm

I’ll check it out Dave. I hope you discuss the love life, cause that is the most important thing + career for guys right out of college!

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This is an awesome post. :) I had the great fortune to be able to find a job right out of college, and so got to skip out on all these great tips. Kinda makes me wish I could move back though. ;)

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Financial Samurai Reply:
December 30th, 2010 at 1:33 pm

I’m sure Yo mama would welcome you back home if you asked!

I just don’t believe this statistic that a majority of college grads move back in with their parents. That just doesnt sound right!

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Jonathan Reply:
December 30th, 2010 at 4:48 pm

I don’t think it’s a matter of choice. Actually given a choice, most wouldn’t, it just a lack of jobs that does it. You’d be crazy to move back in with the folks, although you make a pretty good case for it lol

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Financial Samurai Reply:
December 30th, 2010 at 5:12 pm

Everyone has a choice mate. I would work 10 hours a day at McDonald’s to avoid living back home with my parents after college.

After a year, if I still can’t make ends meet, fine. But it’s just me. I can’t do it after 4 yrs of college semi-independence.

There are positives to living at home and on your own. Personally I moved out 1.5 yrs ago, I could have moved out years ago, but simply did not believe in rent or paying someone else for their mortgage. After I graduated, I stayed at home for 2.5 yrs, put some money into an RRSP over the years and used it for my down payment for my first home.

I love living on my own, my personal space, cooking for my self, laundry etc and simply being an adult. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed time at home, but enjoy my own home that much more.

Never the less, great post either way!

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Financial Samurai Reply:
December 30th, 2010 at 5:14 pm

Wow, 2.5 years! That’s a hellofalongtime! Were you able to get the babes while you were at home? Any tips if you did?

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Fox @ financefox.ca Reply:
December 30th, 2010 at 10:15 pm

Honestly I could have brought home anyone, since I only slept in the room upstairs and the basement was turned into a full lounge/hangout room. Plus it had a seperate entrance. Never the less I did not bring much home, simply out of the respect for my parents.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
December 30th, 2010 at 10:20 pm

Yikes, so no. I donno mate. The first 3 years out of college to spend money, to go out, to meet women is just too fun and too precious to miss out.

That said, you can still do so at 25-26 no problem!

Sam, this post was hilarious. I lived with the folks for about six months after college and it was killer. Considering they never leave home, girls were impossible to bring back and living there meant I had to help them with their business all the time.

I’d much rather, and do, live with roommates just for the “social” aspect, and of course not having to check in with the rents. Totally worth the rent money.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
December 30th, 2010 at 5:15 pm

That’s what I was thinking! You had a couple roommates in Hawaii and had to share and stuff on $1,000 a month… why can’t others? You make more than $1,000 a month working at McDonald’s!

Hope Wisconsin is treating you well! Cheers

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hahah this is awesome!
i used to do #1 – tell the girl I own the place. it worked just about everytime
now i live in my own home and with my girlfriend so those days are OVER
great post – made me laugh a ton!

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Love this post. Happy New Year!

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Hilarious post. You’re quite the comedian. :) Too bad I didn’t read this earlier in life. I always thought parents home and girls don’t mix. Great point about saving a ton of dough because of rent, but extra curricular activities with girls and my parents in the next room, no can do. Our place was kinda small with thin walls. :)

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If the grad and the parents are mature enough, they can coexist without ruining anyone’s love life. Grads, be mature enough to clean up after yourself, pull your own weight, don’t expect mommy to take care of you anymore because she’s ready to let go of that tedious responsibility, and keep your opinions about how your parents handle their marriage and lives to yourself. Parents, be mature enough to accept your child is an adult so stay out of his or her personal business, keep your opinions about his or her romances to yourself (or better yet, don’t form any unless one becomes serious), and don’t offer opinions on their decisions. Treating each other respectfully makes for happy resource sharing.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
December 31st, 2010 at 2:51 am

Share with us your experience living at home with your parents after college. When you had to go to the bathroom, and so did your father, who gets the right of way for example? Thanks!

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Well, polite people know how to let those most needy go first. And sorry, but in my home, we had more than one bathroom so there was no waiting.

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One of my children lived at home off and on after, and I had no interest in the personal life other than what was shared. In fact, I would have preferred to know and be asked less because I’d done my job and was ready to move on to other things. Once I explained I was through with the mommy role so cut those emotional apron strings, things were great. The husband and I paid next to no attention to who “slept over,” our offspring’s schedule, or anything else. We were living our own lives. Oh, and still, no bathroom sharing. There were two besides the master bath inside our bedroom for others to use.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
December 31st, 2010 at 8:45 am

I’m glad there was no bathroom sharing. How long did your son/daughter stay with you guys for after college? Was it out of choice? Did you want them to stay with you, or did you want them to go?

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That’s how all the generations before WWII lived, all over the planet. Even the rich lived on the same estate unless there was a reason to leave. The poor had to live together.

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This article strangely make much sense.

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I moved out went to college 4 yrs, military 2 yrs, married 6 yrs, back home 3 yrs, moved out of state 3 yrs, back home 9 yrs, then married again and moved out. After 16 yrs it was time for them to move in with my family. When I lived with them we split the bills and I was at the house to house sit while they traveled extensively. It was practical use of resources and my parents were practical if nothing else. I was always fully employed during the entire time except for a few months during my first marriage. It was never about not having money but more about not spending what we didn’t have to.

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It’s actually really difficult to move out in these economic times (worst since the great depression.) Even though I have a steady decent paying job at 24; I still prefer to live at home until I have enough saved up that I can lose my job and not be forced to move back in (allocating several months of looking for a job which is common place now.) If i’m gone i’m gone for good I don’t want to take that disgraceful walk of shame back in; which i think in a lot of people’s cases is why they want to save up more money before commiting to moving out.

With unemployments latest rate at 9.1% can you really blame people for being forced into a situation that is less than desired? Not only that with inflation as high as is and educational degrees worth less and less this isn’t as easy as you think :).

P.S. My friends who also live at home and I still manage to get the girls the ones around our age know how hard it is so you can always play that pity card.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
June 10th, 2011 at 9:20 pm

I donno Phil. If I had a job like you and was 24, I would be having the time of my life and living it up!

Maybe the girls your friends are getting are also living at home with the parents? If that’s the case, that’s cool, and it’s just like high school again.

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I’ve paid more than $27,000 of my own money for the “privilege” of living at home.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
June 10th, 2011 at 9:20 pm

Your parents are tough landlords! Ask them for a discount!

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Bum is me. Never moved out.

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this is heck of a style to impart important advise, like it!

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I’m 31 yr old female and I live with my mom. Unless I get married, I’m never moving out. Like the article states, you get every thing for free. I work and help with the bills sometimes, but that’s all. I’m not allowed to bring guys over, though! My mom doesn’t think that’s appropriate.

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Financial Samurai Reply:
September 13th, 2011 at 10:55 am

I guess it all depends on your urges. Besides you can always go to your BF’s house if you want some action!

If you can get a long great with your parents, more power to you!

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Anyone who is seriously bothered by someone else living at home is just upset that their own mother doesn’t love them enough to do their laundry for them anymore.

Chances are, if your parents wanted you out when you turned 18, they’ve been thinking about the day for the last 18 years. Accidents do happen I guess….

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Financial Samurai Reply:
November 24th, 2011 at 11:57 am

Hahaha, nice. Hear that women! Stopping hating on us dudes that live at home with mama!

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Hahahaha so interesting,pls make this an ebook it will sell

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