How To Get Girls If You Live At Home With Mom & Dad

Living At Home With The ParentsIt’s apparently very common to live at home with mom and dad after college. Some statistics have the figure at 80% of newly grads move back home. Is it really that common? Have I lost touch with reality, yet again? After four years of college, where there are just ridiculous amounts of parties and unspoken amounts of fun, who on earth goes home and lives back with mom and dad?

Even if I was unemployed, I’d pay several hundred bucks and rent the sofa in my buddy’s living room or something. Is there no feeling of guilt living at home with parents as a grown adult?  Perhaps not. Right on my street, live three 26-27 year old young bucks with grandma. Come on, how can these guys live with themselves living with grandma? So I got to thinking, perhaps it is feasible to live at home with mom and dad, or grandma and still get girls!


1) Declare That You Own The Place. That’s right, say it with me now, “I own this joint, babay!” It’s likely that your parents have a much nicer house than you could ever afford on your own. Tell the girl YOU bought the place, and mention you are taking care of your parents in their advanced age. A grandma is even better. Girls will go crazy for your sensitivity. Schwing!

2) Good Old Home Cooking. Askyour mom or dad to make your favorite meatloaf when you invite your girly friend over. Since you can’t find a place to live on your own, it’s doubtful that you can cook for yourself either.  Make sure your parents cook the meatloaf right, or else send it back! Say, “Momma, I want this meatloaf medium rare gosh diggidy!  Try again and bring me some side of peas!” Girls say a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. The reality is, the way to a woman’s heart is also through her stomach, so feed her well.

3) Free Laundry Baby. When your girl stays over while you’re sporting your favorite Star Trek PJs, tell her to not worry about her laundry.  You’re going to ask your mom to hook you guys up with some fresh undies. In fact, ask her to bring her entire two weeks worth of laundry for your parents to wash. You can talk about all the eco-friendly detergent that “you” bought and how you no longer use static cling products because they pollute the drinking water for baby pandas. You will get extra brownie points for your thoughtfulness for sure!

4) Frugal Is Sexy. When you finally reveal to the girl you’re living with mom and dad – don’t kid yourself as the truth will ultimately come out – just tell her that it’s only temporary. Rationalize to her how it’s wasteful to not utilize the 3rd and 4th bedrooms, or your mom’s basement. If she ain’t buying it, start sniffling, and then start balling your eyes out that all you want to do is be at home to take care of your father given his bladder problems. Tell her it’s hard for you to share your soft side because society puts so much pressure on men to be the provider. She will absolutely melt in your arms and likely start crying with you! In the meantime, you are busy building a blogging empire, putting on a few pounds while you’re at it, and forsaking sunshine in your mom’s basement. Tell her you’re also busy saving money so you can buy a phat pad of your own. Bloggers are sexy beings. Trust me, I am one.

5) Invite Her To Stay With You. She might still think you are a loser for living at home (in which case you should kick her to your parent’s curb), but don’t fret. Just declare your love for her and invite her to live at home with your parents as well.  If you’re going to take advantage of your parents in your 20s, you might as well invite your friends and prospective lovers to share in the spoils as well. It could be one big love shack of intermittent shouts of “Where’s my food already?“, “Turn up the heat it’s freezing mama!” and “Quiet down, the game is on!” If your girl does say yes, always try and ask for the top bunk bed, unless you’re too old and have knee problems like me.


Maybe mooching off mom and dad isn’t so bad after all.  Free rent, free laundry, free food, free mansion. Even if you have a lot of pride and want to demonstrate that the four years of college was for something, it’s just too difficult to pass up sometimes. Seriously, how else do you plan to come up with a 20% downpayment on a home living on your own?  Hence, I say go for it. Live in your mom’s basement.

You can still get girls using the above tips, and save a ton of money while you’re at it. In fact, you may even be doing your parents a favor because they missed you so much while you were away!  Smoochie, smoochie, mwwwwwa!

Related Post: How To Get BOYS If You Live At Home With Mom & Dad

Photo: Me when I was younger, just kidding.

Updated: 8/13/2014


Sam @ Financial Samurai – “Slicing Through Money’s Mysteries”

Sam started Financial Samurai in 2009 during the depths of the financial crisis as a way to make sense of chaos. After 13 years working on Wall Street, Sam decided to retire in 2012 to utilize everything he learned in business school to focus on online entrepreneurship. Sam focuses on helping readers build more income in real estate, investing, entrepreneurship, and alternative investments in order to achieve financial independence sooner, rather than later.

You can sign up to receive his articles via email or by RSS. Sam also sends out a private quarterly newsletter with information on where he's investing his money and more sensitive information.

Subscribe To Private Newsletter


  1. B says

    That’s how all the generations before WWII lived, all over the planet. Even the rich lived on the same estate unless there was a reason to leave. The poor had to live together.

    • trenchrat says

      I think the problem is that Americans have lost that sense of community were people lived together just like they have lost a sense of family life, and a sense of financial success. So really I am 24 and I live with my parents because I am going to school full time, and unfortunately i am paying 14,000$ a semester so really i mean if i could get a job get straight A’s in my classes pay for an apartment in San Francisco, and somehow be able to just get the bare minimum is groceries. personally I would have to make 31$ an hour just to be able to afford a room in San Francisco while sharing a bathroom with 5 other people (1 bathroom to 5 people)(“3″girls ‘2’ dudes). Now if inflation would get lower and businesses would actually pay there people enough to live on like raising the federal minimum wage maybe people will start living outside like i guess AMERICANS are supposed to do. Because as an American I feel like when i get older i am supposed to leave my parents in a convalescent home while having my own children. I am supposed to get rich as a CEO put my money is some off short bank account and rip off the rest of the public and right before my money falls or my stocks shorten I cash out move to another country and do this process all over again while my parents die in the hand of shitty care of some young woman who does not want to do her job. Americans are fucking stupid with there way of thinking; children need to get out of the house; but no jobs are provided really to do so. Also I would gladly work a minimum wage job if I could pay my bills groceries and pay for gas insurance, 14,000 $ tuition which will go up and 5,000$ of supplies every 2 years. I might not have moved out, but I care about my family and now a days it takes a village I just cant wait to see the stupid Fucking Americans get reduced back to the depression periods when people cherished the light being on for 3 hours a day. Consumerism=death. Also I am an American and even i am flabbergasted by the fuck ups that keep happening in this county. I mean it could be worse I could be a Russian right now pumping krokodill in my arm, or I could be a homeless Greek living on the streets trying to find another hit of sisa. So in reality I don’t care that i live with my parents I contribute they treat me like an adult as I treat them, and personally I don’t know anyone who is living on their own in the United states unless you live in a rural ass area with a damn good job or your selling shit your shouldn’t be selling just to keep your fancy 1 bedroom half kitchen 1 bath apartment for 3600$ a month. Get real assholes who hate on people who live with their parents. Now yes their are some assholes who mooch, but during this time in America when the economy is on the verge of collapse it is almost impossible for people i know who are in there 30’s to actually get there own place. I know people who have masters degrees and cannot find work because they are no longer needed. The world is pretty fucked right now so Id rather have a roof over my head then living in a alley in Oakland while rioting against the machine.

      • J says

        I know exactly how you feel. In fact, I’m living in the nearly the same situation. I studied IT when I was 22, which was right after 9/11 when NO ONE was hiring. Figured maybe I needed more training and certs. Went back to study advanced IT, earned some certs, and companies were STILL not hiring full time. Most IT work now is outsourced or temp work. So fine, 22k in debt, living with my parents, I tried setting up my own computer repair and network solutions business. Tried to undercut Geek Squad as much as possible and found that it’s just not feasible. The cost of replacement parts + my time = the cost of a new Dell. Computers are just too disposable to bother with repairs over $100. Fine. Went back to school to get a bachelor’s in Business Administration. STILL can’t find a living wage job. I had an assistant store manager job at a grocery store, and after a while, the work literally made me want to kill myself every single time I clocked in. Worked 60 hour weeks, many times from 6am to 11pm, verbally abused by customers and corporate, threatened, for 30k a year. Now I’m 50k in debt, 34, living with my parents, no girlfriend, no prospects, and clinically depressed. This is a reality for many people. We can’t hire ourselves and many companies simply do not want to pay living wages. There’s no shame in living with parents. For many people, the alternatives are homelessness or roommates. Not everyone is capable of living with roommates.

        • Arvind says

          As a foreigner who lived in the US until recently, I’ll just say negative to your post. There are a ton of IT jobs in the US. I was swarmed with job openings and still am and the only reason I couldn’t apply to 98% of them was because I was a foreigner. I even managed to have a job despite that. If you’re an American you really have no excuses. Maybe you should try another relocating to improve your chances.

  2. Practical says

    I moved out went to college 4 yrs, military 2 yrs, married 6 yrs, back home 3 yrs, moved out of state 3 yrs, back home 9 yrs, then married again and moved out. After 16 yrs it was time for them to move in with my family. When I lived with them we split the bills and I was at the house to house sit while they traveled extensively. It was practical use of resources and my parents were practical if nothing else. I was always fully employed during the entire time except for a few months during my first marriage. It was never about not having money but more about not spending what we didn’t have to.

  3. Phil says

    It’s actually really difficult to move out in these economic times (worst since the great depression.) Even though I have a steady decent paying job at 24; I still prefer to live at home until I have enough saved up that I can lose my job and not be forced to move back in (allocating several months of looking for a job which is common place now.) If i’m gone i’m gone for good I don’t want to take that disgraceful walk of shame back in; which i think in a lot of people’s cases is why they want to save up more money before commiting to moving out.

    With unemployments latest rate at 9.1% can you really blame people for being forced into a situation that is less than desired? Not only that with inflation as high as is and educational degrees worth less and less this isn’t as easy as you think :).

    P.S. My friends who also live at home and I still manage to get the girls the ones around our age know how hard it is so you can always play that pity card.

    • says

      I donno Phil. If I had a job like you and was 24, I would be having the time of my life and living it up!

      Maybe the girls your friends are getting are also living at home with the parents? If that’s the case, that’s cool, and it’s just like high school again.

  4. jane says

    I’m 31 yr old female and I live with my mom. Unless I get married, I’m never moving out. Like the article states, you get every thing for free. I work and help with the bills sometimes, but that’s all. I’m not allowed to bring guys over, though! My mom doesn’t think that’s appropriate.

    • Eric says

      Wow, I’ve only personally known 1 good girl who lives with her parents.
      She is total wife material but can’t find a date. Don’t let this happen to you. Let someone who knows what a gem you are have an opportunity.

      This woman hasn’t figured out her fantasy man won’t come sweep her off her feet. She’s 39. I’m disqualified in her mind because I’m a single dad, though I possess the qualities she is seeking.

      You’ll know if a man has good character by observing his actions towards the people in his life when the chips are down, when things are tough. Does he stand by them or take care of #1. There is no other way to know. Often the situation that reveals their true qualities isn’t idealistic.

  5. shay says

    Anyone who is seriously bothered by someone else living at home is just upset that their own mother doesn’t love them enough to do their laundry for them anymore.

    Chances are, if your parents wanted you out when you turned 18, they’ve been thinking about the day for the last 18 years. Accidents do happen I guess….

  6. says

    I can’t imagine any smart girl considering a grown man living with his parents. Sometimes, circumstances force someone to do so, but — too often — dependency becomes a life long habit.

  7. Suzan says

    I think some girls from some (developing) countries might even consider marrying you even if you were living at home with dad and mom. :O)

    But you were not talking about non-American girls, were you?

  8. says

    I live with the BF and his parents but we have our little shack in the backyard, so we’re sorta separated from them and we rarely see them since we both work full-time. It’s not so bad and we have been doing it for 2 years, but we have been together for almost 7 years now. If we just started dating, I think it would be really unappealing, but we went through this process together and we came to the decision together that this is what we have to do to achieve our goals. It’s not forever, it’s temporary, and I think the parents play a huge part depending on your personalities/their personalities.

    • says

      Didn’t realize you live with the BF at his parents house!

      Was it weird after graduation from living a lone and all?

      Do you plan to live at home with your parents when you come to the Bay Area? When do you think it’s the right time to launch on your own?

      Thanks for the perspective!

  9. says

    You can’t get a girl if you live at home. Us women aren’t very understanding when it come to this particular issue. I don’t hold that against a guy myself, and there may be a few other women who don’t either, but it’s sad to have to admit that most other women don’t even try to understand why this or that guy still lives at home, and we never put ourselves in the man’s shoes.

    A guy might be supporting his parents, or taking care of his parents in their elder years, or just stay home to help their parents instead of moving out and making things harder on his parents and risk living alone ( it’s not a good feeling, I’ve been there ) just on the off chance he might find a woman who likes and want’s a relationship with him.

    What if he still finds no such woman? Then his parents have to take care of things they may no longer be able to, and the guy is living alone. My next door neighbor is in the exact same position and this is pretty much what he told me one day. He doesn’t want to abandon his parents and he doesn’t want to live the life of a hermit either in case no significant other ever enters his life.

    I can understand situations like this and others that make some men stay at home, but 99% of every other women can’t understand and doesn’t even try to understand. Personally, I think a guy is better off living with parents than getting involved with a woman that is this shallow.

  10. Chris says

    My (ex)girlfriend and I live with my mom right now. She was finishing up her degree while I worked and saved for a house. I only paid $400/mo in rent which covered all bills in the house (my mom doesn’t have a mortgage payment) so it works out nicely. It also allows me to save nearly 40% of my income for a down payment versus paying $850+. I’m only 22 and my budget tells me I’ll be out by November of 2013 :). I feel pretty embarrassed though when I think about having to tell people where I live.

    Side Note…I just Googled “Embarrassed” to make sure I spelled it correctly and the definition is:
    1.Feeling or showing embarrassment.
    2.Having or showing financial difficulties.

    Thought number 2 was interesting.

  11. Charles says

    I’m a 22 year old living out of my mom’s basement (literally). I just graduated UCSB w/ a 3.5 and good internships. I had options for stable jobs out of college but decided to take another route.

    I’ve been working, and working; and am looking to take a risk and move to Chile in a couple of months to launch my startup.

    I know you’ve mentioned multiple times here that you don’t mean disrespect, and you don’t necessarily see it as a bad idea. But I have been trying to work professionally around the clock while hearing my parents fight every night, the past few nights they have been bringing up divorce. Few things in my life have been harder…anything BUT EASY, and for that…. I wish I could get a girl. I’m so lonely.

  12. johnny says

    I moved back in with the parents after leaving at 17 I am now 28. I have been to college, worked up and down the east coast, and started several successful businesses. I have a bad car wreck and could not work or do all the things necessary to survive alone such as cook and clean and drive.

    So I can honestly say I have had the most numerically and most meaningful women in my life since being “down on my luck.” Where you live and what you do almost has no effect on how many girls you get. I think the average is 5 partners in a lifetime? I stopped counting at 30 women years ago.

    Saying a man has to be successful at everything all the time to deserve a woman is bull. Thats like saying I will only go out with gorgeous models who hit the gym 7 days a week, have a high paying job, are debt free, a genius, perfect sized body parts, bling, brand new car, her own house, she can cook, loves to clean, and is a sex beast in bed……

    Most successful men continually accomplish things and fail well into mid life before ever become a resounding success.

    Do what you have to do to make ends meet and have a plan to go somewhere and no one can fault you on that…all this talk about never thinking of going home and asking for help is far more telling of a person’s plain old stubbornness and pride. Of course it doesn’t hurt if your parents are wealthy and having you home is not a financial concern in the least…

    So suck it up…if you are not pulling chicks its because you have a dull personality. Living alone, broke, hungry, and desperate…all be it INDEPENDENT…is just so sexy compared to frugal living with goal that can actually be attained in a year or two rather than struggling for decades for the same..

    Long post…but…if you are renting just to stay away from a year maybe two of rent and get a first time home buyer low or no down payment loan and own something. Or rent and be broke for the rest of your life and enjoy the quiet loneliness of pure independence. You can think of this while you struggle to choke down a meal for one in front of your 26″ tv you bought all by yourself…I will stick with the 60″ my dad bought lol while eating meat and potatoes till my body cannot synthesize any more lean muscle.

  13. Chantal says

    I think Generation Y is more communal than it’s predecessors. They naturally gravitate towards the group. I don’t think there is as much social stigma now, about anything really. This is the generation that has to clean up the mess. So, um, it’s a mess. Humans are social creatures. Living alone isn’t always so great, especially if you’re spending all your money on rent. And there’s more of an egalitarianism in families now. Long live the tribe, I guess.

  14. Steve says

    My wife and I moved in with her parents about 18 months ago to save for our own place (we were engaged when we moved in). We figured that if we could suck it up for a year or two that we would be in a better place because of it. We now have about 100k cash (after wedding/honeymoon costs) for a down payment and are now aggressively looking for a condo in the city. If we hadn’t temporarily put our pride aside and instead decided to keep renting in the city, it would have been extremely difficult to save up for the down payment.

    Quick side note, I wouldn’t even consider buying/living in the city if we both didn’t work there. Our goal though is to live in our condo for 3-5 years while saving for our next place. We hope to keep our first condo as a rental property and bring in the $2,400+ a month that a two bedroom in Boston can fetch now and not have to sell it to fund our house in the burbs.

    P.S. Investors coming in with cash offers are my worst enemies right now.

    • says

      Steve, that is commendable and brave of you to move in to your in-laws after marriage! Were you not afraid of your father-in-law barging in on you two during private time? Do you have any thoughts on repaying your in-laws for 18 months of free rent?

      You are right about cash offers and investors. There are A TON of buyers now, and it’s only going to get worse as the herd scrambles to buy before everybody else wants to buy.

      • Steve says

        Haha, luckily we have our own, mostly private area…but yes, that might be the toughest part of the last 18 months. I will say that when we go away for a weekend it makes it that much more enjoyable. We’ve offered to pay them back one way or another but they just want us to be in a good place financially. The father especially is pretty smart financially and was happy when we stopped paying rent. For what it’s worth, I help out around the house whenever possible and we buy our own food.

        I’m torn right now – part of me wants to go aggressive and offer well above asking to get in front of increasing prices. The other part of me doesn’t think that the current condo price trend jumping up is sustainable right now. We’re seeing places that sold 3 years ago come back on the market for 20-30% above the sale price in 2010 – on top of that, people are still offering 10-20% over asking!

        My main issue with this is that condo prices in Boston (like some other cities) didn’t really go down with the rest of the market, so the fact that they are skyrocketing now is crazy to me…eventually people (maybe even us) will say screw it and find our house in the suburbs. It’s rediculous to see what $400k will get you in the city compared to a town that is just a 20 minute drive.

  15. Steve says

    Haha, luckily we have a mostly private section of the house…but yes, that is a constant worry of mine. I will say that going away for a weekend is way more special now. We’ve offered to pay them back one way or another but they won’t have it, they just want us to be in a good position in life. For what it’s worth, I do help out around the house whenever possible and we buy our own food.

    I’m torn on the market right now – part of me wants to go in very aggressive, offer well over asking and get in front on any more rise in prices (and rates). Another part of me doesn’t believe that the current market is sustainable over the long term (I’m talking specifically in the city where prices never really went down, even throughout the housing crisis). Condos that sold in 2010 for 295k are back on the market for 350k? How can people justify a 20% increase in price over three years? Low interest rates entice more buyers, but I just don’t think that’s enough. And people are still bidding 10-20% over asking? Eventually, people (maybe even us) will say screw it and buy a house outside of the city.

  16. pimpbyblood says

    get your own place or hideout away from the wife and family for the mistresses as well ;) that’s how true pimps do! life doesn’t stop once your married fools!

  17. NeoConsult says

    Very interesting post and comments. I live in the UK, currently a university student sharing a flat (apartment). Will move back home when I start work in London (hopefully will get the job).

    Why the move home? Anyone seen rent prices in London + council tax + utilities + transport on the underground? and food (much more affordable of course). So an average person sharing rent in say a 2/3/4 bed flat or house in outskirts of greater london would spend nearly £1200.00 per month on the above. That means you need to take home £14 400 annually after tax. The average house price in london is now greater than £500k…a 1 bed flat in outskirts of london costs approx £250k – given that the average salary in london is approx £23, 520 – how long would it take to save for a 10-25% deposit on a 1 bed flat if you are renting? Would you really want to buy a 1 bed flat after saving for X number of years? Anyone realize how quickly house prices rise in London? The current youth (our generation) are becoming known as the rental generation…and rent prices just keep on rising (funny that).

    Anyway the main reason to move home is to save enough for a depost on a flat and have good savings because of job uncertainty etc…I would definitely move out by 30 (seems ridiculous i know to even live at home for 5-6 years)…how to get chicks? its gonna be tough…where would i take them at the end of the date? rent a hotel room? silly perhaps…dont know. Guess I will have to figure it out – one thing I do know is that I will not compromise my career establishment and financial outlook becuase I wanna take chicks home (as much as I really do)…

    PS, I like your site financial samurai.

  18. katley says

    I sincerely hope that this article has been written as a satire. If young adults are living with Mom and Dad the idea is for them to get on their feet financially so they can MOVE out.

    You are giving the young people out there bad ideas…by the time I was 26 I had been out of my parents’ home for five years, and lived in a foreign country besides. I think it is wrong to encourage mooching off Mom and Dad.

    Personally, if I were the age of my offspring, I would NOT date a guy living in the basement.

  19. Nick says

    I am currently 23. My parents divorced when I was 22. I was actually planning on getting my own place after a while until the divorce happen. I had 2 options. Get a place with my dad and pay half the rent. Or move in with some stranger and try to get to know them. I chose my dad. By getting a place with my dad it allowed him to be able to have my little sister over to stay the nights and spend time with him. Where as if I didn’t, he would have to get a roommate with some stranger just so he could still live while making alimony payments, which is almost 1/3 of his income. If he got a place with some random dude, then his daughter probably wouldn’t be allowed over to the house due to other dude living there. My dad also probably would only be able to see my little sister a few hrs a week.

    My dad often thanks me and tells me he wouldn’t have this current life style if it wasn’t for me renting with him. Being able to have my little sister live with us every other week.

    I haven’t been too concerned about being able to meet girls. The fact of possibly meeting one, and marry that one in the future, and maybe getting divorced down the road when things get to hard. And possibly ending up like my dad with my little sister and the alimony, kinda scares me of ever starting a relationship.

  20. Ed says

    I remember in highschool all my friends were starting to get part time jobs but my parents never let me start working, their excuse was, well you’re going to be working your whole life, what’s the rush. I couldn’t work while I was in college because I was so swamped with classes. I moved to another city for university, although my parents had to help pay for everything. After I graduated from the university I hated the idea of moving back home but I didn’t have a choice. My parents didn’t let me try to get a job near the campus once i had graduated and see if i could make it on my own, they said no matter what you have to come back home, and I was about 23 when I graduated. 3 years later and I am still living with my parents, and nothing has changed. when I mention that I’m ready to move out, first they say NO then they laugh and say i will waste all my money renting a filthy place and i will lose my soul to debt but that if i want to be a failure i am free to leave. Not the most inspirational words. My friends are all in grad school and getting married. I feel on some level I got screwed over. Anyway, really enjoyed this article just thought i’d put in my two cents.

  21. streetsharks91 says

    I can’t stop laughing. This is the funniest article I have read in a while. It’s absolutely hilarious from start to finish. Loved it =D

  22. Stephen says

    This post is hilarious! This topic is also something I thought about for my friends who live with their parents, like I do. I, however, was lucky enough to find the love of my life in high school. She still lives with her parents as well (when she’s not out of state for school). So given this history, the dynamic’s not weird for us, and consequently, we each get along with the others’ families very well.

    However, I worry for my single friends who live at home and work full time jobs. It’s a triple whammy because they not only live with their parents, but they don’t get much time to meet new people since they work, and they’re extremely shy! Needless to say, they don’t go out very often during off-work hours other than to hang out amongst themselves and play basketball, usually with other guys. But on the off chance they do meet a new girl, the chances that the girl would accept their living situation are low too! …at least until this post!

    Say, Financial Samurai, where are the best places you know of to meet new decent women in SF? Bars are always the first suggestions, but there’s gotta be better alternatives. Cafes and libraries may work but you don’t really want to bother people who are reading or working. No one told us that after college, meeting people would be so hard!

  23. haars says

    Property prices are pretty rough….I dont think most people can afford homes in todays economy given the amount of money people make and how high housing prices happen to be. We are talking indentured servant for life if you go out and take a mortgage.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *