Serena Williams Is NOT A Nerd. We’re Sorry!

Apparently someone sent over last week’s article, “Revenge of The Nerds: Golf and Tennis Are #1″ to Serena Williams, and it just pissed her off!  Serena’s anger built up so much, she finally blew her top  against a lines official after calling a foot fault.  Serena screamed, “I swear to God, I’m going to take this ball and shove it down your f*cking throat!”  We then noticed her mumble something like, “Can’t believe some stupid website called me a nerd” and went after the lines judge some more!

Serena, we just wanted to make a public announcement that the staff over here at Financial Samurai didn’t mean to call you a nerd specifically.  In fact, our point of the article was to highlight you are the #1 most popular female athlete in America, and provided inspiration for all us “nerds” growing up!  With your glistening guns, aggressive baseline attacks, and $30 million a year in earnings, we were impressed!  However, after last night’s outburst, and you not willing to apologize afterwards, we’re not your fans anymore.

Every minute you wait is literally dollars out the window, Serena.  In fact, we hear Puma executives are on a conference call right now discussing the fate of your endorsement contract.  What’s compounding the problem is that Kim Clijisters is one of the most beloved players on the circuit.  She just had a baby a year and a half ago for goodness sakes, and is now the US Open champion!  Way to go Kim!  Serena, hurry up and apologize to the world!

Financial Samurai’s,  besides Ohio State University blowing their 5 point lead to USC with several minutes to go in the 4th quarter, Serena’s outburst is topic du jour!  If you haven’t hit the public courts and found a tennis partner since “Revenge of The Nerds: Golf and Tennis Are #1″ was published, make sure you have an opinion on these two events come work time tomorrow.  Seek out your sports crazed senior colleagues and banter!

Keigu,

Financial Samurai“Slicing Through Money’s Mysteries”

Why I Can’t Bank At Wells Fargo

A Wells Fargo Senior VP, Cheronda Guyton moved into a foreclosed $12 million mansion with her family and hosted extravagant house parties.  Meanwhile, her job is to figure out how to profit from foreclosures (well done!), but she didn’t allow brokers to show the Wells Fargo-owned place because her family was squatting!

I knew there was something funny a couple years ago, when I was talking to one of their mortgage brokers and the rates he was quoting were 50-100bps higher than everyone else.  Bank of America got my business instead.  Too bad Ken Lewis was so empire-building driven and panic bought Merrill at the market open, instead of after the close.  What’s $25 billion more between between shareholders?

Given we live in bizarro world, don’t be surprised if Wells Fargo goes ahead and promotes her to lead up a different department.  After all, Wells Fargo does technically own the foreclosed home, and can do what they will.  Their $60,000/month vacation rental asking price might sound excessive, but not as excessive as Cheronda Guyton not letting anybody rent it out because she wanted to pump up the base herself!

Great to see our $25 billion in tax payer bailout money be put to good use.  Thanks for everything Cheronda.  Tell you what guys, since we are PR experts here at Financial Samurai, why don’t you Cheronda donate the $240,000 in lost rental income to the LA firefighter’s fund, and ask your employer to match it.  Here’s your article with further details.

Keigu,

Financial Samurai – “Slicing Through Money’s Mysteries”

Fortunes, Fortunes, Everywhere!

Back in 2002, the Oakland longshoremen went on strike because they were against new technology which could cut their jobs.  The issue was quite contentious, and it was a matter of “national security” the union get back to work according to many politicians.  What I remember most clearly, however, were salary figures that just boggled my mind.

According to widely spread documentation at the time, the International Longshore and Warehouse Union (ILWU) required their longshoremen to work no longer than 35 hours a week.  Furthermore, it was cited that the average income for an Oakland longshoreman was between $100,000-$120,000, with many senior employees earning $160,-190,000.  When I read the news, it was about 8pm and I had been in the office since 5:45am.  For that one day, I dreamt I was a longshoreman.

HOW DOES MAKING $229,000 A YEAR SOUND, RETIRED?

Mea Culpa – I Just Spent $1,450 At The Apple Store

The Apple IIc!

The Apple IIc!

Despite making a promise on August 31st to buy nothing this September, I broke down and bought a 13-inch Apple Macbook Pro yesterday.  You see, I was tempted by two things.  1) Apple’s promotion of getting a free $230 i-Touch with every notebook purchase, and 2) Steve Jobs is back in  San Francisco this week to address new product launches!

EXCUSES

  • I have been looking for a new laptop for two years now given my current 12″ i-Book is a hand me down from my wife.   It’s got only 512megs of RAM, a 20 gig hard drive, a sticky space bar, and is slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter!
  • My wife, on the otherhand, has a shiny 1-year old Macbook I bought her for Christmas.  Clearly, I am a little bit envious.
  • I walked down aisle 7 at Walgreens and a Loreal shampoo bottle told me, “Because you’re worth it!”
  • Nobody really buys me anything for my birthday and the holidays except for my wife.  I take it back.  My mom got me a nifty plastic cube with a clam in it last winter.  I think she found it in an old cubbard.  So who’s going to buy me anything?  Cue the violins!
  • Furthermore, $1,450 really isn’t $1,450 once I get my $230 rebate in the mail for my i-Touch.  I can then sell the darn thing on Craigslist for $199 and bring my total outlay down to $1,051!
  • Besides, how am I supposed to be a prolific personal finance writer on such old equipment anyway?  I can barely do any editing on my 12-inch screen.  Oh, the justifications of spending come spouting out now, and I can’t help it.

Revenge of The Nerds: Golf & Tennis Are #1!

According to Harris Interactive,  the most popular male athlete in America is Tiger Woods, and the most popular female athlete is Serena Williams.  This got me thinking…. hmmmm, America is absolutely obsessed with football, baseball, and basketball and yet golf and tennis are #1!  Since High School, the stereotype has always been that nerds played golf and tennis, and jocks played the other sports.  So, what’s up with this latest poll?

The Financial Samurai theory:

* Whoever controls the most amount of money is the most influential, and therefore, the most popular.   The reason why Tiger Woods makes $100 million a year is because he generates billions in incremental revenue.  Since nerds by definition get better grades,  they may go to better schools  and get better paying jobs.  Therefore, their chances of making more money increases.  More nerds play golf and tennis, and therefore spend more on those sports.