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Searching For Love And A Little More Money

Updated: 04/02/2021 by Financial Samurai 57 Comments

Are you bored at work, searching for love and a little more money? Oh, the monotony of it all! Imagine clocking in, day in and day out with really no change to your job. You’ve got little risk of getting fired. And in 10 years you’ll retire with several million to last you a lifetime. But, in the back of your mind, you wish you didn’t have job security because you despise boredom. At the same time, you realize you’ve got it made and shouldn’t be so spoiled in your thinking.

One day a headhunter gives you a ring asking if you want an opportunity to make 50% more money a year, guaranteed for two years. The catch? You’ll be working for a startup with no such promises of job security after year two. You’ll also have to move to a different city where the cost of living is also 25% higher. The hours and stress will most certainly more as well. So forget about searching for love for a while. Welcome to Kathy’s world.

10 Years Down, 10 Years Left To Go

Kathy is a brilliant woman with an equally brilliant resume. She graduated #8 in her class of 6,000 from Berkeley and did a stint at Oxford as a Rhodes Scholar. What drove her during her twenties was her unquenchable thirst for knowledge. Everything she did was to answer a why or a how. How can we increase inventory turnover to improve revenue? Why are competitors expanding in the northern region while reducing capacity in the south?

A week before she turned 30, however, something happened. She stopped wishing to learn how to do things better. Instead, she began searching for love and thinking about starting a family. Despite all the progress women have made, she still feels that no matter how far she climbs, there’s a void without a man to share her life with. This was 3 years ago. She’s still searching for love.

Climbing The Ladder While Searching For Love

At 33, she’s sadly still alone. Her ex-boyfriend broke up with her largely because she spends too much time at work.  He would tell her that working more than 60 hours a week isn’t healthy. She realizes it’s unhealthy, but as a Senior Vice President, she has responsibilities that cannot be shirked. What really irks the ex-boyfriend is Kathy’s workplace seniority and far superior earnings.

Kathy makes up her mind that she will be retired in 10 years at 43. She hopes that within a couple years she can find someone to start a family with. But, she’s not forcing the issue. She strongly believes in destiny. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be she often tells herself. Her insecure ex-boyfriend can go screw himself for all she cares because she won’t settle.

Related: Career Or Family? You Only Need To Sacrifice For 5 Years At Most

An Opportunity For Work & Love

The firm loves Kathy. She’s hard working, praises her employees openly, and generates a tremendous amount of revenue. Her revenue generation is so impressive that her competitors secretly call her “Killer Kathy.”

Killer Kathy’s phone rings one afternoon. A headhunter asks if she’s willing to move to New York City from San Francisco for a new start-up firm. Along with her transfer is a two-year guaranteed pay raise that’s 50% higher than what she’s currently making. We’re talking more than a couple hundred thousand a year more guaranteed.

If you include school, 14 years is a long time in the Bay Area. Perhaps it’s time for a change. Despite generating large amounts of revenue for the firm, she’s basically flat-lined over the past three years because she’s already at the top of her game. Instead of progress, she’s just maintaining, trying to keep her competitors at bay. It’s no fun being the senior player at an established firm. When she slips from #2 to #3, she feels the pressure.

Instead, the idea of starting over at a new shop where she can create a new business model and watch her company grow sounds intriguing. She longs to build something from nothing, and hear the praise of going from nowhere to Top 10! Kathy is given a rare opportunity to build something new, with the security of a guaranteed income.

Searching For Love

What’s equally interesting is the thrill of being in a bigger city with the opportunity of meeting that someone to share her life with. She’s been to New York City plenty of times before. And each time she’s impressed with the amount of available bachelors. Searching for love in Manhattan excites her. And, if finding someone is a numbers game, perhaps she should be there!

There’s something to be said about security and comfort. To know that you’ll likely never be unemployed must be a wonderful feeling. Furthermore, San Francisco is a beautiful place! And she can certainly continue searching for love in SF. It’s not like Kathy is just surviving either. As a department Vice President, she’s making a nice six-figure income money and will undoubtedly retire in 10 years if she stays with her firm.

Despite Kathy’s security, she can’t stop thinking about the opportunity in New York City. Even if things implode after two years, she’ll have a hefty savings cushion due to the increased compensation. Mathematically, working for 50% more for 2 years is like working for 3 years at her existing place. Deep inside though, Kathy knows that if she found someone here in San Francisco, she’d most certainly never leave.

Related: You’ll Always Regret Sacrificing Love For Money

Further Reading

  • How To Make More Money By Doing Nothing
  • Is Not Wanting To Be Rich Selfish? Ways To Help Others If You No Longer Seek Or Have Wealth
  • Personal Finance Advice For Couples: When One Partner Isn’t Interested In Finances At All
  • If You Were Broke Would You Settle For A Less Than Ideal Partner?
  • “I’m Rich, Bitch!” And Other Annoying Things Rich People Say And Do

Readers, if you were Kathy what would you do? Should Kathy leave her cushy job to find new adventure, or be satisfied with what she has?

Is it reasonable for her to feel that a life is not worth living if she doesn’t have a man to share it with?

As a woman, would you choose career or family if you had only one choice?

Keigu,

Sam @ Financial Samurai – “Slice Through Money’s Mysteries”

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Filed Under: Career & Employment, Motivation, Relationships, Retirement

Author Bio: I started Financial Samurai in 2009 to help people achieve financial freedom sooner. Financial Samurai is now one of the largest independently run personal finance sites with about one million visitors a month.

I spent 13 years working at Goldman Sachs and Credit Suisse (RIP). In 1999, I earned my BA from William & Mary and in 2006, I received my MBA from UC Berkeley.

In 2012, I left banking after negotiating a severance package worth over five years of living expenses. Today, I enjoy being a stay-at-home dad to two young children, playing tennis, and writing.

Current Recommendations:

1) Check out Fundrise, my favorite real estate investing platform. I’ve personally invested $810,000 in private real estate to take advantage of lower valuations and higher rental yields in the Sunbelt. Roughly $160,000 of my annual passive income comes from real estate. And passive income is the key to being free. With mortgage rates down dramatically post the regional bank runs, real estate is now much more attractive.

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Comments

  1. Jeff @ Sustainable Life Blog says

    September 9, 2010 at 1:12 pm

    I think that building a company from the ground up would be something that you wouldnt want to pass up, but it definately runs contrary to finding a mate/starting a family. Start ups require a lot of work, and I think everyone knows that.
    As far as moving to NY, there’s an issue with that as well. It would be much harder for her to find a mate in the ny area, as women outnumber men greatly. On the west coast (and in SF bay area) men tend to out number women. So, she could be going from a hot commodity in sf because there are fewer women to competing for men. It’s a gamble.
    She should take some time off and figure out what exactly she wants, then go for that. It could be neither of these options.

    Reply
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