If you want to reduce your stress, it’s good to adopt the “everything is rational” mantra.
There’s a lot of messed up things in the world such as war, poverty, racism, and corruption. Some things we can try to explain, and some things we can’t. Always step up and fight for what is right and speak out against what is wrong.
However, if you constantly try to fight everything wrong, you will end up stressed and miserable. Pick your battles, such as speaking out against racism. And let other things that bother you, go.
Unless you are a “Karen,” here are some examples that shouldn’t concern you. You can’t change everyone, so don’t try.
The Kid Who Just Wants To Have Fun
Everybody knows that grades start accumulating in the 9th grade, and without good grades and SAT scores, the chances of getting into a good college, and therefore landing a desirable job goes down. Is it really so bad that Johnny High doesn’t go to Yale, and become a rich physician? What’s so bad about community college and working for $20,000/yr at a dead end job which he enjoys? Nothing at all!
Johnny High’s decision to not study hard in high school is perfectly rational. He chose to have a whole lot of fun, while other kids were miserable studying and participating in extracurricular activities to boost their resumes. When he’s 35 years old and still working at his job with the same salary, he’ll think back at all the fun he had in high school and smile.
Who’s to say that being a multi-millionaire physician and going to Yale is good anyway? He could end up incredibly miserable, with tremendous amounts of anxiety everyday as a doctor. Instead, Johnny High chooses to live a more relaxing life, and doesn’t care about money.
If he did care about money, he would have studied harder. And if Johnny starts to care about money, he may go to grad school and give himself another shot.
The Lady Who Loves To Eat
Two years ago, my friend Shirley at 5 feet 3 inches tall, weighed 205 pounds. She was considered obese, and didn’t have a boyfriend. Sure she was out of shape, and longed to have companionship, but what she loved more than anything else was pizza, strawberry frosted cupcakes, and Mountain Dew. Food was her first love, and everything else came second.
Shirley’s decision to eat herself into obesity is perfectly rational. Shirley is proud of her body just the way it is, and therefore continued to consume copious amounts of food. A year ago, Shirley asks if I’d like to work out with her once a week. I say sure, but why the sudden desire to exercise? She mentions there’s a guy that caught her fancy at a party, and she wants him to notice her.
Six months later, Shirley is down to 150 pounds, and is happily going out with her new man. Pizza and cupcakes are no longer Shirley’s first priority, he is.
The Chain Smoker Who Enjoys His Lucky Strikes
Smokers know that smoking damages the lungs, instigates cancer, and shortens lifespans. Yet, smokers smoke because the pleasure from smoking outweighs the long term detriments. Smokers are willing to accept the pain of lung cancer for the buzz of nicotine.
After spending $100 on cigarettes a month for years and coughing up blood for weeks, a relative of mine decided to quit. The desire to live long enough to see his daughter give birth outweighed his desire for nicotine. It’s been 6 years since he last lit up, and grandpa visits his granddaughter every Sunday.
The Consumer With Seven Credit Cards
People realize that credit card debt is the highest debt around, yet thousands still don’t pay off their debt in full every month. Credit card debtors are willing to pay 10%+ interest rates because the pleasure they derive from the items they buy outweigh the burden of debt.
Eventually, the pleasure from buying an incessant amount of useless things wears off. Unfortunately, the payments still remain. Some go cold turkey and cut up their credit cards, while others find second jobs to accelerate their debt repayments.
The Mediocre Blogger
Consistent blogging is hard. If you want to create one of the best blogs, you’ll spend hours a day trying to develop relationships with others.
You’ll submit to every single carnival, write tons of guests posts, publish more frequently, be absolutely self-less in promoting others, respond to all your comments and buy an iPhone so you can become a Twitter and Facebook maniac to keep in touch with your readers.
Yet, you realize blogging is a hobby, which shouldn’t get in the way of a vacation, a relationship, or your full-time job, which is what really pays the bills and allows you to reach financial independence sooner.
You don’t let blogging take over your life, especially if you are the obsessive type. It’s OK to step back and not publish as frequently. It’s OK not to be the most popular and get all the awards.
Your main goals are to have fun, meet some new folks, learn, perhaps make a little money on the side, and find your own voice.
But for those of you who are really committed to your craft, you will continue to work on it for years, no matter what. After 10 years, I’m sure you’re going to see some decent success in whatever you do.
The Defunct Politician
Corrupt politicians exist because we let them exist. We elect corrupt politicians into office and allow them to take advantage of the system for their own good. If we don’t like what they do, we vote them out. The people of Illinois did just that to ex-Governor Rod Blagojevich, and impeached him for wire fraud and bribery.
Over 1,700 people from the Department of Transportation now make over $170,000/year. You can be mad, or you can go online and learn how to become a DOT employee.
The majority of people voted for George W. Bush that’s why he did a second term. He may not have found the WMD’s, and sent thousands of troops in harms way, but at least he kept America safe from further terrorist attacks since 9/11.
The Miserable Employee
The miserable employee is OK with being abused, taken advantage of, and underpaid by her boss. Everyday she happily comes in knowing that it’s just another day in paradise. The miserable employee stays at her job because her fear of the unknown is much greater than the misery her work and boss brings.
Fast forward five years later, the miserable employee continues to stay miserable at her job so she never has to take any risks and therefore never has to fail. The miserable employee, if she were truly miserable, would have found a new job by now. All her complaining and whining is just smoke screen, as she secretly enjoys job security more than anything else.
The Absent Minded
Finally, ever forget to do something you tell yourself to do just moments earlier? Damn, I forgot what I was going to write…. Oh yeah, for example, if you forget to pay your bills on time, it’s because bills aren’t important to you, and you are willing to pay late fees. You forget your anniversary because you really don’t care about such things. If you did, you’d have a present ready for him or her and waiting!
The next time you feel there’s something you should remember but can’t, tell yourself this: The reason why you can’t remember is because the thing you’re supposed to do is not important. If it were important, you’d remember!
The Racist, Homophobic, Bigoted, Sexist Comedian
Shane Gills decided that it was OK to a racist, bigoted, sexist, homophobe his entire career. In a widely-shared clip from “Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast,” Gillis and co-host Matt McClusker are discussing New York’s Chinatown when Gillis says, “Let the f—ing ch-nks live there.” He later recalls a restaurant being “full of f—ing Chinee [sic] in there.”
In a separate podcast, “Ep 144 – A.I. is Racist,” Gillis and McCusker make fun of Asian accents about 22 minutes and 20 seconds in, referring to the video game “Clash of Clans” as “Crash of Crans” in a mock Chinese accent.
A little more than 21 minutes into “Ep 146 – Live from Shane’s Parent’s Basement,” while talking about the Battle of Gettysburg, Gillis refers to soldiers yelling as “so gay.” About 29 minutes into the podcast, Gillis uses the word “retard,” and “f-ggot,” and shortly afterward he and McCusker joke about “hot Southern boys” being raped during the Civil War, comparing it to “having gay sex in jail.”
Gillis, in describing women who disguised themselves as men to fight in the war, refers to them as “flat chested f—ing bitch[es].” He issued a statement last Thursday addressing the situation, writing in part, “My intention is never to hurt anyone but I am trying to be the best comedian I can be and sometimes that requires risks.”
At the end of the day, he got hired by SNL and fired. Given everything is rational, Shane Gills is probably a financially independent man who doesn’t need money and/or doesn’t really care about his career. If he did, he would have altered his comedy skits in 2019.
Everything Is Rational In The End
From the examples above, it sure seems like everything is rational. We do things which seem wrong to others, but really makes perfect sense. The next time you start feeling pity for someone or questioning their actions, don’t.
Eventually, everything comes back to center. If not, it’s because things are fine just the way they are!
Updated for 2020 and beyond.