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How To Get Your Parents To Buy You Everything As An Adult

Published: 02/03/2020 | Updated: 01/13/2021 by Financial Samurai 169 Comments

Instead of being so honorable and making money all by yourself, maybe you should get your parents to buy you everything as an adult. Life would be much easier this way.

If I could do it all over again, I’m not sure I would have scrimped and sacrificed so much in order to come up with a $120,000 down payment for a condo back in 2003. It kinda sucked living in a studio with another guy for two years, especially when I brought guests over. I missed out on a lot of boozing and fun excursions as well.

Because I never once thought of having my parents buy me a ridiculously priced apartment in NYC that cost way more than their humble townhouse in Northern Virginia, I never asked! But in retrospect, perhaps I should have.

We know that plenty of Millennials expect massive inheritances once the richest generation passes. But is inheriting $1M+ after the age of 50 really so great? Not really.

Therefore, I want to highlight some of the best strategies I’ve learned from adult children who were able to extract even more money from their parents while living.  



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If You Love Your Spouse, You’d Make Him Or Her Financially Independent

Published: 01/25/2020 | Updated: 01/03/2021 by Financial Samurai 102 Comments

If you love your spouse, you'd make them financially independent

If you love your spouse, you’d make him or her financially independent. If you don’t truly love your spouse, then you’d make him or her depend on you for all her financial needs.

Depending on someone for money is a terrible feeling. Imagine being a grown adult still living at home with your parents. Every time you go out, you’ve got to ask them for a couple bucks to buy a loaf of bread or more likely, beer money to hang out with your buddies.

Now imagine marrying someone, giving up your job to raise a family, and being entirely dependent on your working spouse for all your spending needs. A common situation, but is it ideal?

It’s one thing to depend on someone for money as a kid. It’s another thing to be dependent on someone as an adult after getting a college education and marketable work skills.

For all this talk about the desire for financial independence, it’s odd that some couples aren’t willing to establish separate financial accounts to allow each other more freedom.



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How To Get Your Super Motivated Boyfriend to Marry You

Published: 01/08/2020 | Updated: 08/28/2020 by Financial Samurai 70 Comments

Kaneshiro Takeshi = Super Motivated Boyfriend

A super motivated boyfriend is great. There’s just one problem, you might have trouble locking him down.

“Why won’t he marry me?” pops up a lot nowadays.  Seemingly beautiful, smart women can’t find the love of their lives, and when they do, they can’t lock them down.

Women have it tougher today. It amazes me how some can juggle career and motherhood so well. Those who do deserve a gold star because there are only so many hours in a day.

What’s less talked about is the pressure society puts on men to succeed. Women need to know that men have it rough too. Society expects us to provide, and provide some more! 

Ever since I was a kid, my parents stressed the importance of education, so that I can make enough money to support a family and support them. The pressure was latent, but immense making each poor grade or non-promotion that much more stressful.  When you’re a teenage boy, frankly all you want to do is chase girls and not plan out the next two decades of your life!

The Super Motivated Boyfriend (SMB) is a curious being. He is a potential gem to any women out there with enough polishing. 

Polish him too much and he loses his edge and rolls away. It’s important to understand his ambitions, for once you do, wedding bells won’t be far away!

Five Ways To Get Your Super Motivated Boyfriend To Marry You

1) SMB’s Are Insecure.

SMB’s are terrified of failure given the massive amount of expectations placed upon them since they were kids. The more education they receive (i.e. grad school), the more time and money spent, and the more is expected of them to become great successes.

Some SMB’s are late bloomers, which is even worse because they are playing catch up with peers who’ve already checked all the boxes growing up. Beware of the late bloomer SMB!

Action: Be selfless in your support, no matter how silly his goals are. SMB’s need constant reinforcement that they are doing the right thing, even though you think they’re not.

2) SMB’s Set Target Ages For Achievement.

A classic target age is 30. Where many women shoot to marry by 30, the SMB generally has some type of monetary, or career goal they must achieve by then. SMB’s are often told that by the time they’re 30, they’ll have either made it, or failed completely. Talk about pressure!

What’s important to realize is that the closer your SMB is to 30 without much to show for, the less he’ll  likely want to marry you.  The other typical age targets are 35, 40, and 45. It’s important to find out what his age anchors are.

Action: Assess whether you think he’ll reach his dreams by 30, or whatever his age anchor may be. If you don’t think he is going to become a Vice President in his firm by then, you should either dump him while you’re still young, or reset your marriage expectations by the corresponding years you think it’ll take for him to reach his goals. The choice is yours.

3) SMB’s Have Big Ego’s, Stroke Wisely.

Despite being insecure, SMB’s often come across as overly confident. Because they’ve been working towards their one goal for so long and with so much effort, any person who doesn’t share their passion will be scoffed at.

It may be the simple smirk during a conversation, or the brush off during an initial meeting once they find out what the other guys does. SMB’s believe they are the best thing since sliced bread and have superiority complexes.

Action: Realize that a lot of his ego is born out of his insecurities. Give your boyfriend constant reinforcement, while complimenting him on his successes. There will always be some other colleague of his who gets paid more, or gets promoted before him, so make him feel like he’s doing a great job.

4) SMB’s Like To Play The Field.

The deadliest SMB is the good looking SMB. He’s confident, motivated, and makes women other than yourself swoon. Meeting a career-oriented, highly motivated man is attractive enough. Add on good looks and it’s game over! The hot SMB is hardest to lock down. 

Because they are insecure and know they are handsome, they need even more reinforcement than you can give him.  He also needs the attention of other fine ladies who will oooh and ahh at his stature and success.

Action: Let him loose, or else he will resent you. All men have the insatiable desire to flirt with women. You may think you are only innocently inquiring about his whereabouts through your constant texting, but in his eyes every single inquiry is a nag.

The more you inquire, the more you nag, and the more he’s reminded of being in youth prison where his mom doesn’t allow him to go out and play!

5) Super Motivated Boyfriends Love Confident Women.

Nothing turns off SMB’s more than a woman who doesn’t know what she wants. If you’re the type of girl who always replies “you choose” when it comes to watching a movie, you have very little chance of becoming Mrs. SMB.

Part of the attractiveness of a confident woman is the counterbalance of an SMB’s own insecurities. SMB’s think subconsciously that if a strong, confident, sexy women wants to be with them, they must be doing something right with their lives.

Action: Have a core group of girlfriends you can always hang out with. He needs to know you can have fun without him. Tell him about your plans with other girls and never invite him. The more you spend time with your girlfriends, the more the SMB wants to spend time with you.

Don’t believe me?  Next time you’re with your boyfriend, tell him that you are spending time with your girlfriends one Thursday and don’t ask him what he’s doing. He’ll come groveling to spend all the time he can with you when you return.

There’s nothing more attractive to an SMB than a women who can show her feminine side and kick butt in the board room.

Don’t Let Your Super Motivated Boyfriend Get Away

You may be the most loving girlfriend in the world, but if you don’t understand the pressures and milestone targets every SMB faces, you’re going to have an awfully difficult time locking him down. Having a SMB is both a blessing and a curse.

On the one hand, your SMB is so focused on making a name for himself that he loses sight of you. On the other hand, if your SMB finally achieves his goals with your support, he will not only emerge as a secure person, he will be forever grateful and want to take care of you forever!

Related:

How To Get A Rich Man To Be Your Husband

The New Rules For Engagement Ring Buying

The Average Net Worth For The Above Average Married Couple

This post was originally published on February 9, 2010. It has since been updated for 2020+. There’s nothing greater than having a partner to spend your life with, especially during difficult times.

Everything Is Rational – The Answer To All Things Irrational

Published: 12/24/2019 | Updated: 01/01/2021 by Financial Samurai 48 Comments

Stop Complaining - Everything Is Rational

If you want to reduce your stress, it’s good to adopt the “everything is rational” mantra. Once you believe that everything is rational, you’ll stop getting so frustrated and angry at things. You’ll also stop being so jealous of other people’s success.

There’s a lot of messed up things in the world such as war, poverty, racism, corruption, and a pandemic. Some things we can try to explain, and some things we can’t. Always step up and fight for what is right and speak out against what is wrong.

However, if you constantly try to fight everything wrong, you will end up stressed and miserable. Pick your battles, such as speaking out against racism. And let other things that bother you, go.

Unless you are a “Karen,” here are some examples that shouldn’t concern you. You can’t change everyone, so don’t try.



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Wedding Spending Rules To Follow If You Don’t Want To End Up Broke And Alone

Published: 10/05/2019 | Updated: 05/09/2020 by Financial Samurai 87 Comments

Given half of marriages eventually end in a divorce and wedding ceremonies last for at most 12 hours in America, it’s wise to spend as little as possible just in case things don’t work out.

Despite such pure logic, the average cost in America is around $33,000 according to The Knot’s 2020 Wedding Survey. If you live in Manhattan, the average spend is closer to $77,000. In comparison, San Francisco weddings only cost $39,329.

With the median household income in America at around $60,000 according to the US Census Bureau, what is going on with couples who are willing to spend roughly 70% of their annual after-tax income on such ephemeral pleasure?

Here are some random responses I’ve received from couples who have spent $33,000 or more on their weddings:

“I wanted a night we’d never forget.”

“The wedding is more for our family than it is for us. We both have huge extended families that must all be invited.”

“Everything from the venue to the flowers cost so much nowadays. It’s hard to spend less.”

“I already spent $18,000 on a ring. What’s another $50,000 spread among 200 people?”

“I didn’t want to spend $200,000 on the wedding, my wife did. I hate weddings and would rather have just gone to City Hall for a couple hundred bucks. It’s all curated and fake for thirsty Instagram users.”



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The Most Important Tip For Job Hoppers: Join People, Not Firms

Published: 10/03/2019 | Updated: 07/18/2020 by Financial Samurai 33 Comments

Best tip for job hoppers

Now is the most exciting time for job hoppers everywhere.  I’m convinced we’ll see more employee turnover across all industries than over the past two years combined. There are people itching to leave their firms for better opportunities all over the country. Are you one of them? If so, you need to know the most important tip for job hoppers.

Join People, Not Firms

If you are, remember one thing: join people, not firms. Isn’t that the same you ask? No, and it is imperative you differentiate between the two. Joining great people means working with people you respect, and working for people who support you. 

Great people encourage each other to succeed.

Working with great people means not hitting the snooze button five times because you dread going to work. When you see people get promoted within the ranks, you cheer for them instead of secretly cringing with jealously. 



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Solving The Happiness Conundrum In Five Moves Or Less

Published: 06/20/2019 | Updated: 12/06/2020 by Financial Samurai 65 Comments

There’s a happiness conundrum that needs solving. Despite living in a rich country with income levels that put us in the top 1% in the world, there are still many unhappy people. This post explores what we can do to elevate our happiness.

After a tense 14-12 softball victory, the six of us went to a nearby brewery for some beers and burgers. I ended up sitting next to our centerfielder who told me he used to hate his life. Let’s call him Biff.

In high school, Biff was a popular guy. At 6′ 5″ tall, he played varsity baseball and varsity basketball. But he admitted he was sometimes cruel to the smaller kids and exchange students. He wasn’t proud of his actions and wished he could apologize to them today.

Solving Happiness: Things That Will Make You Happier And Wealthier

After the financial crisis hit in 2008, Biff fell into a deep depression. The house he had bought when he was 27 years old ended up losing half its value. He was told he couldn’t lose and that real estate was the surefire way to riches. Not only had he lost all his equity, but he also owed more than the house was worth.

He was so deep under water, all he wanted to do was turn in his keys and walk away as so many Americans did. There was just one problem. Florida was not a non-recourse state. As such, the lender could easily obtain a deficiency judgment and garish his future wages and non-exempt assets.

Biff proceeded to gain over 100 pounds as he literally locked himself within his rapidly depreciating prison. At 30, he was morbidly obese, broke, and girlfriend-less. Life had no more meaning to him.

Solving The Happiness Conundrum

Then one day out of the blue, the state of Florida threw him a lifeline by offering him a free $75,000 to pay off some of his mortgage if he promised to keep up with regular payments. He took advantage of this tax payer’s money and fulfilled his side of the deal.

Despite feeling a little guilty for getting a bailout, Biff started gaining positive momentum in his life again. Over the ensuing two years, he lost 70 pounds, got a promotion, and finally at 32 found a girlfriend. He also stopped hating on anybody who seemed to be doing better than him because he was finally in a better place.

The first step to him feeling happy was to make sure his finances were no longer going in reverse. Once his finances had stabilized, Biff’s happiness grew because he found someone who loved him despite all his flaws. Today they are married and have a daughter.

Being rich didn’t matter anymore to Biff. Making progress did. Oh, and being able to crush a softball 350 feet as our cleanup hitter makes Biff and the rest of the team ecstatic.

Understanding The Happiness Conundrum



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The Definition Of American Prosperity Needs An Adjustment

Published: 04/10/2019 | Updated: 07/18/2019 by Financial Samurai 86 Comments

The Definition Of American Prosperity Needs An Adjustment

There’s a common joke here in the SF Bay Area.

How do you know someone went to Stanford? They’ll tell you within the first couple of sentences.

We Americans have a tremendous desire for status and prestige. When we work hard for something, it’s our second nature to tell everybody about our achievement.

You do it. I do it. We all do it. No big deal if we aren’t incessant about it.

But at a certain point, it becomes concerning when we start complaining about our struggles despite being in an extremely fortunate situation.

Let me share one public example and then my own as case studies to illustrate how unaware we truly are about our good fortune.



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Sweet Talking Your Home Appraiser Pays Off

Published: 02/06/2019 | Updated: 01/08/2020 by Financial Samurai 23 Comments

Retirement Life Infinity Pool, Bali IndonesiaLet me share you a story of about the importance of the home appraiser when it comes to refinancing your mortgage or qualifying for a new mortgage. My previous mortgage refinance took 65 days, and I wanted to share what I learned.

Back before the financial crisis, a refinance would take at most 40 days to complete. Nowadays, banks are asking for every single document out there, making sure the borrower is legitimate.

At least I can sleep well knowing that due to the new standards of due diligence, there will be a lower chance of another housing crisis in the future. The same concept goes with airport security come to think of it.  Getting strip searched is a pain in the butt, but one should take comfort in a safer flight.

After more than 10 years of appreciation in the stock market and real estate market since 2009, it’s good to be more cautious. The last thing we want is another meltdown that ruins our financial independence plans.

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The Best Food In The World Is In Malaysia

Published: 12/20/2018 | Updated: 11/20/2020 by Financial Samurai 30 Comments

Batu Caves Monkey
Monkey at Batu Caves outside of KL

After 24 years, I finally returned to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, a place I called home between 1988 – 1991 as a middle school student at The International School of Kuala Lumpur (ISKL). The best food in the world is in Malaysia. I’d been wanting to go back for the longest time, but I never made the effort because it takes 20+ hours to get to from San Francisco.

When an ISKL classmate told me he was going to marry a mutual friend, I knew it was now or never! I decided to make it an extended four week trip by first stopping in Seoul for five days, then Kuala Lumpur for the wedding, then Pulau Redang for an island honeymoon getaway with the newlyweds, then Angkor Wat to see the ancient temples, and finally Taipei.

If you’ve never been to Malaysia, you’ve got to go. The food is amazing, the people are friendly, and the attractions are wonderful. This post focuses on the food.

Disclosure: Financial Samurai has partnered with CardRatings for our coverage of credit card products. Financial Samurai and CardRatings may receive a commission from card issuers. Opinions, reviews, analyses & recommendations are the author’s alone, and have not been reviewed, endorsed or approved by any of these entities.



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