Zynga Rejected My Application So I Unleashed The FURY!

One thing I plan on doing in retirement is find a potential encore career.  As a computer and internet junky who has built up a reasonable size blog, a foray into the social media sector seems like a natural extension.  I want to make sure that I exhaust all options before I really kick back and harass my father on the golf course a couple times a week.

Applying to positions is so easy now thanks to the internet and LinkedIn.  It takes around five minutes per online application and you will get an e-mail confirmation immediately after pressing send.  For those who don’t know, Zynga is an online social game maker of Farmville, Words With Friends, and other names that rely predominantly on Facebook’s user platform to make money via ads and virtual goods.

Given I’ve been reminded about Zynga with Mark Pincus’ handsome face all smiling down below in my post, “How The Rich And Powerful Become More Rich And Powerful,” I figured why not shoot them an application despite their horrendous reputation for long work hours and ruthless management..  I didn’t talk to Mark at Marissa’s party, but I did swing by their sweet offices once in the SF Design District.

For most of June and July, Zynga’s stock hovered around $5 a share, a 65% decline from its recent March 2012 high of $14.20.  I figured in my ever optimistic self that it was better to get options at $5 than all the poor folks who joined earlier in the year at much higher levels.

And so, between scrubbing my chiseled pecs during bath time earlier this month, I submitted my application.  A couple weeks later I got this rejection letter:

 

TIME TO UNLEASH THE FIST OF FURY!

Are You A Financial Dumb Ass?

Financial DumbassEvery now and again, I stumble across something that makes me wonder, “Are you a dumb ass?”  Someone forwarded me a post from a year ago where a PF blogger spent $60,000 on a luxury car right after revealing his net worth was only $55,000!  I mean seriously, is that not a little messed up or what?  It’s almost as dumb as a minimalist owning multiple Apple products, a health nut who smokes and drinks soda, a vegan who wears leather shoes, and an evangelist who embezzles millions from you.

When I innocently asked why he spent more on his car than his entire family’s net worth, another commenter responded that it was because the blogger wanted to save money by spending money so he wouldn’t have money left over every month to spend.  Huh?  What?  Hmmmmm.  That’s just dumb.

THE WORLD IS WONDERFUL

Deep Thoughts On Twitter: Cold Food And Suffering

I clicked the 2 minute super nuke button on my microwave before leaving to park my car.  Moose was left outside after a late night of partying and I didn’t want the parking crazies to give me a lovely $70 ticket for blocking my own driveway.

Two minutes should have been enough sizzle time to keep my food toasty before I got back.  Eight minutes later (checked and read the mail too), I came back to ravish my leftover Pad Thai.  Oh, how disappointed I was and so I tweeted:

“If room temperature is considered warm, why does my food always get cold? #Deepthoughts as I ponder the meaning of life while writing.” via @FinancialSamura

My question was sincere, in the moment, and with no time to think.  I got a couple sincerely interesting responses.

Instead Of Twitter Love What About A Twitter War?

Twitter is a truly amazing platform.  I’m impressed with how some can literally Twitter all day and not get tired.  There is definitely an addictive element to Twitter which makes the program so alluring.  There are a ton of announcements of self greatness which I am very fond of reading for some reason.

Twitter Love Examples:

* “I rock because I created an awesome commercial about my product!”

* “My stock picks are up huge and outperforming the markets!”

* “Check out my net worth, killing it up 10%!”

* “Take a look at my new Gravatar picture!  What do you think?  Ain’t I cute?”

* “Happy birthday to me!  Come celebrate with me over on my site!”

* “Thanks!” -> What?  “Sweet!” -> What? “Cool!” -> What?

Blink And Blink Again

It’s safe to say that before you began reading this post, you had no idea you were blinking.  Blink, blink, blink.  Whatcha going to do about it now that you are aware of your fluttering eyelids?  My guess is that your memory will last as long as a gnat, and you’ll forget as soon as you finish reading this post.

It’s amazing how we can blink roughly 36,000 times a day and not even be aware.  Yet, if we were to be consciously aware of our need to blink, we’d probably drive ourselves mad.  How great it is that our bodies protect ourselves from insanity by doing the things for us we have no desire of doing ourselves.

SUDDENLY YOU’LL WAKE UP

My First Car Was A Heap Of Junk How About Yours?

After getting my driver’s license at 17, I talked to my parents about finally getting a car.  I don’t remember why I didn’t get my license at 16, but perhaps it was because I had such a spiffy bicycle the ladies loved.  *Ring a ding a ling * was the sound of my bell every time I rode by a hot girl.

It always felt odd that I had to walk or ride my bike to school when other kids got to drive their new Ford Explorer SUVs, and VW Jettas.  Even my parents drove an 8 year old car at the time.  Oh well, I thought to myself.  Perhaps one day.

THE HIDDEN GEM THAT WAS NOT A GEM

Is There Ever A Right Time To Upgrade Your Engagement Ring?

One of my old friends, Peter mentioned the other day that he got engaged.  He’s 37 and she’s 28.  They met about 4 years ago at a bar when he was somewhat inebriated but immediately hit it off.

Peter isn’t exactly the most studly looking guy standing at 5′ 7″ with a belly hanging over his belt, but he’s kind.  They are two months into their engagement and don’t plan to get married until next summer.  All was going well until one night, Peter’s fiance Nancy inquired about when she could upgrade her engagement ring!

YOUNG EXPECTATIONS

Is It Better To Rent To Males Or Females?

Rent to Olivia Munn or…

Last night I got a written notice in the mail informing me that my tenant of 2.5 years is moving back East!  Can you believe it?  How could he leave paradise to move back home to the sweltering heat of New Jersey?  I will never know. Anyway,  I’m really sad to see him go because he was as close to the ideal tenant as possible.

Ned paid on time, was quiet, held no raging parties, and never bothered me to come fix anything.  OK, so there were several times when he needed an extra week or two to pay rent, but in the end he always delivered.

WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR IN A TENANT AS A 13 YEAR LANDLORD

* Great credit (680 or higher, and the higher the better).

* Not a psycho killer.  You know the ones with crazy eyes when you talk to them.

* Has a stable source of income, which could include interest income if s/he has no job.

* Has enough money in the bank to cover at least 18 months of rent  if they lose their job.

* Good prior landlord references

* Longer than 1 year duration at his or her job.  Longer the better.

* A pleasant demeanor i.e. not an axe murderer.

If a candidate possesses all of the above attributes, I’m more than likely to rent my apartment to them.  It’s really not worth taking a risk on a poor tenant and end up missing out on months of rental income due to non payment, or litigation!  The real question I have is whether it’s better to rent to males or females and whether it matters at all?  Let’s discuss.

WHO MAKES BETTER TENANTS: MALES vs. FEMALES?

As a landlord, all you want is : 1) On time payment, 2) zero complaints, and 3) minimum wear and tear.  In other words, if I could rent to a robot who doesn’t have to move and always sends me a check electronically on time, that would be the best!

1) DEPENDABILITY: It’s pretty much a wash between men and women.  Men are just as flaky as women and women are just as dependable as men, sometimes.  Actually, if I exam all the females I know, they are all pretty damn dependable, whereas some of the guys just tend to be complete flakazoids who are never on time.  OK, women are favored here 60/40.

2) COMPLAINTS: Men pride themselves on being able to unclog the toilet, change light bulbs, fix holes in walls, and pain(t).  Women, not so much.  I’ve heard of stories where women will call their landlord to squash a spider.  Come on now, a spider is like 1/1,000,000 the size of you!  Men get the nod 70/30.

3) WEAR AND TEAR: This is a tough one.  Men tend to enjoy throwing parties with lots of loud music and fountains of alcohol.  Keg parties, strip parties, bachelor parties, birthday parties, shaking hands with Hilary Clinton parties you name it!  Women don’t throw ragers as often as men for some reason.  Furthermore, it is the unmarried woman who tends to sleep over at the boyfriend’s house more often than vice versa.  Hence, there is less wear and tear if you rent to a woman and therefore women are 70/30 favorites.

Bob the friendly dog walker..

CONCLUSION

Based on my three variables, I’m having trouble deciding which is the safer sex to rent to.  Women just seem so much more respectable and less violent.  How many serial killers do you know are women?  In the movie “Pacific Heights”, Michael Keaton was a man and not a woman.

My gut tells me women are better, but the funny thing is my last tenant of 2.5 years was a man, and he was great!  If you don’t mind sharing your thoughts on who you’d prefer to have as a renter, I’d much appreciate it!

* Please note that it is illegal to discriminate against a potential tenant based on sex, race, or creed.  However, it is legal to ask a question and wonder out loud.

RECOMMENDATIONS

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After you link all your accounts, use their Retirement Planning calculator that pulls your real data to give you as pure an estimation of your financial future as possible using Monte Carlo simulation algorithms. I’ve been using Personal Capital since 2012 and have seen my net worth skyrocket during this time thanks to better money management.

Updated 2H2015

The Ultimate Solution For A Fair Income Tax Policy In America

With the Bush tax cuts set to expire next year, there’s going to be a big debate during the mid-term elections this November!  But, should there really even be a tax debate?  It’s obvious that we should NOT raise taxes on small business owners and higher income, hard working Americans in a nascent economic recovery!

Everybody knows roughly 47% of Americans pay no federal income taxes.  Hence, the ultimate solution for tax legislation is to strip away tax voting rights for the 47% of Americans who pay no tax, but who still get to enjoy the benefits of other people’s contributions.  If you’re one of the 100+ million Americans who pay no income tax, isn’t it good enough to enjoy free public schooling, nice roads, friendly firemen and police officers protecting your neighborhood?  Being thankful is a great disposition to have.  Being greedy is not.

An Example Of A Family Making $120,000 Paying No Taxes:

The Best Financial Advice I’ve Ever Heard From A Comedian

One of the best things about living in a big city is the diversity of people.  Minorities are actually a 51% majority, leading to an abundance of food, culture, and festivities.  Most importantly, a diverse community teaches us acceptance and understanding of each other.

Canadian-Indian comedian, Russell Peters recently visited San Francisco where I got to see him perform.  He is an absolute riot!  Russell pokes fun at the incredible ability by both Indian and Chinese to drive hard bargains.  It’s interesting to witness what happens when they negotiate with each other!  Keep an open mind, and I hope you enjoy the skit.

Three Key Lessons From The Video: